Hear my troubles (NOT asking how to woo some girl)
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here's the situation:
my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.
her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.
for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.
For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.
I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...
Thoughts, anyone? -
another relationship undergoin test of time
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I think if she really goes overseas for uni we might break up. It's not like just going for one semester...it'll be 3 or 4 years. Some more I'll still be in NS till feb 2009...
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Ya ya, we heard you. So, we never thought about it, just hear only.Originally posted by k2406:here's the situation:
my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.
her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.
for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.
For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.
I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...
Thoughts, anyone? -
okay. thanks too.Originally posted by angel7030:Ya ya, we heard you. So, we never thought about it, just hear only. -
u should encourage her to persue her interest... but wat course she wan take? studywat course end of the day still her decision not her parents...Originally posted by k2406:here's the situation:
my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.
her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.
for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.
For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.
I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...
Thoughts, anyone? -
Ask her to study what she likes.
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If you really love her, knows what she really wants... A good talk may let you have the answer what her wants...
I think studying a subject which a person have no interest in will not really go far. Might as well study a subject that person really like and excel in it.
Talking is not influence or defying... It a solution to problems... If you really want to talk with her parents about this, make sure you don't offence them. -
if she go overseas, then when you ORD in 2009, you'll see an ang-moh baby.
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if she does go overseas to further her education, then it will be quite hard to maintain your r'ship. U can only see her at most a few times a year and thats provided she comes back during her holidays, if not gg.
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If you want to be the chi qing type.
Go through NS and when she go overseas to studies you wait lor.
Then mayb when she come back then happy reunion lor.
But its hard for far distance relationships to maintain, so be warned.
If you want to be practical.
Dump her, forget about her.
Go NS, come out, find new one. -
You should let your gf decide what she wants to do.Originally posted by k2406:here's the situation:
my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.
her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.
for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.
For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.
I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...
Thoughts, anyone?
She is not one without her own brain.
Don't get involve for your own selfish reason.
I have seen many relationship survive long distance relationship with couples separated by overseas studies.
In fact, the parents becomes very supportive of the relationship, because they see how supportive the gf/bf who stayed back are of their own child's future.
If you advise her against her parent's wishes, their parents will go against this relationship. It will be just as hard to maintain the relationship as she would have left for overseas.
I suggest you give her your support in whatever she has to do. Do not let her feel that you are a burden. -
deleted: double post
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lol... y r u worrying now ???
Wait till yr gf's A level results r out then say lor...
Even if it is the worst case where she has to study oversea, it doesnt really matter... u can treat tat as a test for yr relationship... Anyway, technology is good nowadays mah... can msn, video conferencing thru internet... blah blah... Not like last time, people survive this type of relationship thru letters... ><
Problems are meant to be solved but not meant to be feared.... -
i will probably get ready to find another girlfriend, if i am you, and still stay in touch with her,
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let her decide, u on the other hand be prepared for any outcome if she decides to go overseas.
for me, i'll most probably not give up but not hope too much too....perhaps may even be forgotten in due time.
besides, fresh out from army.....shld be working & playing real hard
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I thought you don't wish to influence her decision to leave sg for her tertiary education?Originally posted by k2406:here's the situation:
my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.
her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.
for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.
For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.
I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...
Thoughts, anyone?
Anyway, I think it's alright for her to go and pursue a tertiary education and meet up with more guys overseas...including getting her head turned and heart fluttered with guys overseas. -> Why not take this as a trial in your relationship instead?
Afterall, nothing is constant and even if you eventually manage to change her mind to study in sg, it doesn't means she won't leave you for another guy.
Nobody controls anybody, so ultimately if she decides to leave you in the future, it is always her own choice of decision. Nothing to do with third-party other than making her feel correct and easier to break off her current relationship. -
Let things roll out as they happen.
You do your NS as best as you can.
She, let her decide what she really wants to study or do.
Both of you maintain contact, as best as you both can.
That will be the test for both of you.
Your fear is that you would lose your gf.
Unfortunately, that fear is real.
You just have bear it, and hope for the best.
Hope your relationship survive the test of time.
Just do your best for yourself at all times.
And also wish the best for your gf.
Do not manipulate peoples' lives for selfish purposes.
Especially when you both are still young. -
excellent piece of adviceOriginally posted by mancha:Let things roll out as they happen.
You do your NS as best as you can.
She, let her decide what she really wants to study or do.
Both of you maintain contact, as best as you both can.
That will be the test for both of you.
Your fear is that you would lose your gf.
Unfortunately, that fear is real.
You just have bear it, and hope for the best.
Hope your relationship survive the test of time.
Just do your best for yourself at all times.
And also wish the best for your gf.
Do not manipulate peoples' lives for selfish purposes.
Especially when you both are still young. -
But the problem is he cannot tarhan liao.Originally posted by mancha:Let things roll out as they happen.
You do your NS as best as you can.
She, let her decide what she really wants to study or do.
Both of you maintain contact, as best as you both can.
That will be the test for both of you.
Your fear is that you would lose your gf.
Unfortunately, that fear is real.
You just have bear it, and hope for the best.
Hope your relationship survive the test of time.
Just do your best for yourself at all times.
And also wish the best for your gf.
Do not manipulate peoples' lives for selfish purposes.
Especially when you both are still young. -
Hi TS,Originally posted by k2406:here's the situation:
my gf's taking her a levels this year. i'm stuck in NS till 2009.
her parents very likely want her to go overseas for her uni education.
for her, she doesn't mind going overseas (or staying in sg) but her real interest lies in a 'not-so-prestigious' course (local) which her parents would almost surely not approve of. Hence she's more or less given up on pursuing that course.
For me, of course I'd wish that she stays in Singapore and I feel she should make up her own mind with regards to her tertiary education (after all it will affect the rest of her life) but I don't feel that it's right for me to try influence her to defy her parents.
I feel quite troubled by this now even though there's still about a year from now before she goes for her tertiary education. It's not a good feeling knowing that there's a fair chance that my gf will be leaving for long term in a year's time...
Thoughts, anyone?
Ok like what other people said, this is going to be a test to the r/s. If ur gf really what to go oversea for studies, my advice is let her be. Although the chance that she will find another bf oversea, you cannot do anything. There is really nothing u can do.
From what i observe in my long distance r/s, many ended due to lack of communication. Therefore, the most important thing that u need to do is to spend time chit-chat with her on msn... dun find excuses that u are tired or lazy cos u are in army. I am in a worst state than u. Now i am having a tough time adjusting to uni life.
IF she indeed found a bf oversea, do give her ur blessing. Heartache a bit then just move on with life.
Just to share with u. I just rejected by a girl i like recently and i am still feeling the pain in my heart cos she totally ignored me despite i tried to initate a conversation. I just want to savage the friendship but apparently she doesn't want me to be her friend anymore.
Now i am so stressed up by my uni life that, i almost want to drop my double degree to a single degree. Luckily, i have a very patient and understanding mentor and now i am surviving quite well.
Therefore, don't think that u are in a very bad state now, there are always people worser than u --- take this as a comfort. -
hm... my friend and her bf had undergo the long-term relationship and it is still going strong.....
I think they are getting married this yrs...
it really depend on the 2 persons in the relationship....
but i hear it is hard to maintain the relationship...
it all boil down to the determination
wish u good luck and come up with a decision!
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let her go, find a part-time gf, be a happy nsf.
aiya, this type of this is up to u one, for u urself knows the best. -
Thanks for the replies. I can foresee the difficulties in maintaining a long distance r/s esp. while I'm still in NS. I'd prolly break off if it were to come to that...save both parties hurt and trouble later on...
Anyway I'm not going to think so much for now.
But I will not stay totally out of the matter once she is done with her exams. If she, not her parents, truly wants to study overseas then I'll give her my blessings.
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ok i think that as her bf u wants her to stay in SG, thats normal.
But on the other hand, i think u are selfish.
Well she can get a better qualification overseas so y stay here?
have to think of her future..