crying inside........
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I have a relationship with my bf of many years. All along, I thought our relationship is the most perfect one, that he is the one for me.
I love him a lot...always believe that he is the right one for me, that no any other guys can replace him.
I thought our love is a 'jan dan ai'........as long as our hearts are closely knit with love, care & understanding is all that is enough...
I thought I know him very well........but...........
Then............eventually, I found out that he flirted behind my back with another girl...he said there is no strings attached to it, that it was all merely for fun.........that he does not like her, she is not his type...
I forgave him but deep down in my heart, I am crying.......I start to ask myself...do I still trust him? The thing is, I do not know the answer myself........I feel very insecure at heart......I do not know what may happen in future again.......I somehow have lost confidence in this relationship...feel that it is slowly killing it.......
sometimes, I will wonder what he has been doing (since he lives in the hostel & I only meet him during the weekends)......feel so unsafe.
I feel like treating him as nice as before..........but I am fearful, I am scared to get hurt again........I do not dare to......I have now reserves for myself........I want to protect myself........
He sensed that I am starting to treat him very cold...and he kept reassuring me that he still loves me a lot...that I am very important to him...
Now that things are so unstable for both of us, at times, I really feel like telling him how I feel..want to sort things out...but it seems as though now the only thing that I can do is to keep quiet about it because he is going to have his exams soon...and he said a slightest thing will make him very stressed...
whenever he is stressed, he wil seldom message me........most of the time, left me wondering what has happened.....
nowadays, because he is very stressed over his school work, feels that he is starting to ignore me again..........as his gf, I feel that no matter how stressed he is, or how unstable and unsmooth things are, I hope I will always be the first one he thought of and confide in......but how come it's the other way round??
I am really very upset...........I start to think what have I done wrongly??
Why have things turn out this way??
nowadays, I have been living in misery.........I do not know exactly what I should do.....
pls advice...........
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Tell him how u feel, fren
Maybe he has another explanation for ur coldness towards him.....not as in ur insecurities u r experiencing but he may be thinking tt u r juz kicking up a Fuss or being Jealous!??
It's Logical n can be so.....why Let ur R/ship be a Guessing Game?...Tell him n let him know....dun decide how u shld feel until he knows how BAD u r feeling inside
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not that i did not tell him about how I feel.....rather, he make it seem as though the whole thingy about how I am feeling is my problem.......that I am supposed to solve it by myself............Originally posted by reallieRAW:Tell him how u feel, fren
Maybe he has another explanation for ur coldness towards him.....not as in ur insecurities u r experiencing but he may be thinking tt u r juz kicking up a Fuss or being Jealous!??
It's Logical n can be so.....why Let ur R/ship be a Guessing Game?...Tell him n let him know....dun decide how u shld feel until he knows how BAD u r feeling inside
these days, whenever I mentioned a little complains relating to the 'problems' of our relationship, he will start to say I am making him stressed and all those kind of things..........hear already also pissed off........
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I'll try my BEST.....ermm....i'm NOT U so i cant explain the friction in ur r/ship tt u seem to illustrate here fr ur bf's reaction or reponse....Originally posted by CuTiE~~:not that i did not tell him about how I feel.....rather, he make it seem as though the whole thingy about how I am feeling is my problem.......that I am supposed to solve it by myself............
these days, whenever I mentioned a little complains relating to the 'problems' of our relationship, he will start to say I am making him stressed and all those kind of things..........hear already also pissed off........
I have 2 guesses here:
IF HE LOVES U
it cld be tt his reaction (as stated as the above by u) was due to the fact tt u keep pressing him for an answer to ur FRUSTRATIONS???...it was a build-up emotions rather tt he no longer Loves U He may also be assuming tt u r purely being Sensitive...he cld RITE (girls r often TOO Sensitive 
) & he cant be bothered abt ur 'complains'?!? Btw, he may also belong to the Majority whereby Guyz r GENERALLY less Sensitive (sorry to make this Generalisation here...juz my observation 
)
IFHE DOESN'T LOVE U ANYMORE better not decide tt early....give urself sometime to Calm down 1st......Try ur Last Attempt to talk to him abt ur Insecurities (keeping in mind tt u may truly be Sensitive, so be Objective. Control ur Emotions & discuss wif him like his GD FREN)
Bottomline: Dun Throw Away The R/ship So Easily Bcoz of Ur Insecurities...Everyone is Learning thru Love & tt is To Trust
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arikato............. *bow*
i will try to see the whole situation in different perspective..........
think for the time being, it will not be a good time to have a good talk with him since his exams are around the corner...shall endure & wait till his exam is over..........do not want to affect his studies.....
just keep my fingers crossed.......... -
Great !!!!
So long u've tried hearing another side of the story.....im glad
May the Lady Luck be on ur Side
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Good luck? -
To sister CuTiE~~,
Communication is the key to all relationships. Until humans developed a telepathic ability, you'll have to keep talking to each other.
1~3 Years, depends on couples is an average timeframe of the honeymoon period of stable couples. After which, questions creeps into the relationships. Questions which if left unanswered will become doubts on your relationships.
Each couple's relationship is unique, so i am not in your shoes, i wont know what actually was the problem, but try to answer your own questions, once you have settled your own questions, mabbe you can reach out and answer that of your bf's.
Hope my reply helps.
Best Wishes,
[email protected] -
Well, when going thru times of difficulty in a relation, one tends to keep having weird tots. some of which maybe thru but most of the time it's juz imagination.
one should try to learn to see the situation from an outside point. juz like when yr friend comes to you wif a love problem. you notice tat they somehow can see things in a different light. therefore maybe it's becos you are afraid and insecure which makes you wanna keep pressing him for an answer to every lil doubt you have and this can lead the guy to feel that you are choking him.
on the other hand, in the worst case situation, the guy might be really sian already and therefore keep giving you the cold treatment until you can't tahan any more and ask for a break up. in this way, the guy can say it's you who wanted the break up.
since you've come this far in the relation, why not slow down and ponder before making a rash decision. i believe to come this far, the both of you must have indeed loved each other very much and place quite an amount of effort to bring things to where they are today.
like you said, talk it out wif him. sometime you need to get him into the mood to open up and tell you wat he is acutally tinking. it's not tat simple to say, come let's sit down and talk. try to understand why he's behaving like this before pointing an accusing finger at all.
Gd luck. -
hmm....i feel that u should tell him how much u suffered becos of his actions that have hurt u. Tell him everything.....dun be afraid to let him noe. U should never start to think "what have u done wrong". u didnt do anything wrong. he was the one who did u wrong and its not your fault. so dun blame yourself.
nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. as long as he doesnt do it again, then perhaps u slowly let matters rest. tell him that he lost your trust and thats the reason u treating him differently. let him noe that trust must be earned. actions speak louder than words.
hope that u are feeling better take care and all the best for your relationship -
if there is a break in your heart ... there will eventually be a break in the end ... so dun think bout break at this moment till you have sorted out everything and given a serious thought out of it ...
all the best ...
just my 1 cent here ..
Regards ... -
well den u sld no this is not the first time he has done it.......... it happens time n again right? onli that if u found out or not correct?
i can tell u there will be more flings in e future........ tis i guarantee.... fm experience
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Tell him how u feel.. like.. u nid more time wif him or etc.. dun cry alone.. i used to haf a saying: Guys tt make u cry aren't the ones who will walk down the aisle of the church wif u..
U nid to tink.. whether u can live wif him and his "stress"... if u cannot stand it.. den wad for cry inside u? Dun u feel lonely and left alone?
If he can understand , tts the best.. sure can work out..
But if u tell him and he says u add on his stress.. u haf to do wad u tink u mus do.. it sounds like u 've been a burden to him
Tt reminds me of myself in the past..
Adding wad stress? Relationships shd be happy together.. rite?