Please help me please.....
-
Please give me advice. I really need help on this.
I am 24 this year.
Currently I have a boyfriend of nearly 2 years. He is 28 years old but has no savings at all. He doesn't like to work, or rather doesn't like to work for people. He has this concept that you will never get rich or never get financial freedom or get out of the so called 'rat race' if you work for people as an employee. So his dreams and goals are to set up a business and be the richest man in the world with his pictures and stories all over the daily newspapers. All the while I support him with all my might and give him all my encouragement that I could. I am happy he has got such dreams and I believe he can do it if he puts in effort to fulfill his dreams. He has not been working for a year plus now and only survives on his bank savings of hundred plus. Although I have a job and I don't have to live on him and I have never asked for anything from him before, it seems like he is also doing nothing about his own life, a life that is without any savings and money. He keeps telling me that he has been hot on the balls everyday at home exploring the internet to search for his business inspirations. But when I asked him what ideas he has actually got from the internet, he told me he was having a rest for that day and was playing computer games at home, and said he needed more time. He is unable to tell me his progress and what he has done so far for his dreams.
He is also a person with a not-so-good temper, scolds and shouts at me sometimes over a small matter but usually will apologise after he cools down. I voice out this unhappiness and he promise me he will change but I have not yet seen any improvement so far.
He doesn't like my family and my friends. He said my parents didn't like him and my siblings were rude to him and that my family only cared about themselves. He said my friends showed attitude towards him. He firmly told me that after we got married, he would never want to have anything to do with my family and friends but he would not restrict my own interactions with them.
As a girl, I need stability and security for my future. Frankly speaking, I am not an unreasonable person and I have quite good temper and tolerance. I can easily tolerate with temperamental people, but surely not to the extent of being shouted at in public too frequently huh. My ties with my family and my friends are very important to me and I of course hope my future husband will treat them as importantly too.
Then, recently there is this guy who confesses that he likes me. He is my former colleague and everyone who has worked with him before knows he is a very diligent man, a very matured man, takes his job very seriously and has never one time slackened his responsibility at all. He is 26, got an average job, got much better temper, not as good looking as my current boyfriend and he is of bigger size and he smokes which my boyfriend doesn't. But overall. he is a very very nice guy, a person who can be trusted to be a good husband in future.
I am very at lost now... Should I take the risk and wait for my current boyfriend to succeed his dreams one day and no longer be a good-for-nothing like now, but for this I really don't know when he can make it and how long I will have to wait. Or should I go for the other guy who obviously has got better criteria now?
I am so at lost.
Can someone please give me an advice on who is good for me? Please tell me what to do.[color=green][/color] -
Hrmmm,
Well seems to me that your boyfren is pretty much a daydreamer, no offence theres only a few people who make it
1. Hardworking
2. People with brains and connections
3. People with rich daddies or mommies hah
unless you can motivate him to get off his butt I think it's really quite pointless to carry on. But besides that it also boils down to yourself on how you would deal wif it.
Good luck -
Your future begins with your dreams......
...... so go back to sleep. -
Well,just go with the flow
one of these days,ur heart will def tells u what u want ( its just a matter of time) meanwhile (as a gf) just try talking to ur bf again and if hes still the same...then u shld know what u shld do... -
Good luck, all the best in life...
-
Your bf is probably waiting:
1. to win the first price in the lottery
2. to inherit a large sum of money from a distant relative
3. to stumble across some hidden treasure
before he gets off his lazy arse and starts his own business.
What a lamer! -
if u r nt happy wit him, wat for still hang on?
-
She is right.Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:
if u r nt happy wit him, wat for still hang on? -
from what you wrote, i believe you love your bf a lot.....but sad to say, in reality, ai qing cannot dang fan chi.........(love cannot be taken as food to eat)
I am not you, i cannot tell you what to do.....i can only advice you. if you really love your bf very very much, try to change him.....if attempts to change him backfires, then i suggest you to leave him.....as a man, firstly, it is very important to find a job......in fact, to HAVE a job........dreams & aspirations can only be fulfilled if one makes plans & have the relevant knowledge & capital...
Unless he is born with a silver spoon, a job is necessary in order to save up ready capital for his ventures...plus reading up.........
if nothing has been done, but rather idling around, i can say...he is still very immatured esp for a man of his age.........sorry to say that......what is he waiting for? waiting for the sky to drop money at him??
another thing, how can he ever take care of you when he do not even know how to take care of himself.....let alone, taking care of his family?
screaming & shouting at you in public is a very good indication on how he treats you.........it's a sign of disrespect.......taking you for granted.......now you are not married to him & he treats you this way, can you imagine on how he will treat you once you are his wife?
to tell you the truth, it will be very hard to change such a person as you have mentioned above......BUT i am not you, i cannot judge the whole situation........weigh them yourself.........
fren, this is your life...........decide on how you want your life to be...
seriously, i feel that you deserve a better man...........
let's not mention about the 'new' guy who recently appeared in your life.......even if he did not appear, you should take appropriate actions........
~good luck, fren...........hope you will find your destiny~ -
Celery,
Feel sorry for u....coz i've got a fren like this as well......so i can u/stand ur plight.....
1st of all......im glad tt u can u/stand tt his 'Aspiration' has some gd reasons...
but i can promise u tt 'this kind' of pple take a long time to 'wake up' before they know the Actual Situation they r in now.....(fr my experience, up to u to believe)
Economy has been bad.....Networking....MLM stuffs r real Vibrant these days...they create Dreams for the pple out there who desire to excel in Life.....ur bf might be one of them....he joins any Networking company?.......Guess even if he did....most probably he'll not be able to carry on in the com since he likes to 'Think n not Work'...real NATO (im sorry if my words r harsh )
These pple keep Believing tt they can succeed in Life...not tt it's wrong...it's gd but muz be Moderate.....they hold on Firmly to this Belief : AS LONG AS I DUN GIVE UP, I WILL SUCCEED.....if this is reallly ur BF.....u muz really Let him know tt his Life is no longer juz abt himself but it involves ur future.....
STRESS on tt coz most of time...these pple r really in another World.....they cant feel ath 'REAL' except for 'SUCCESS'.....
Then u can try to let him know abt this guy who's after u....let him know tt his Situation isnt tt SAFE...he has a rival afterall........the rest is up to him.....i believe tt u wrote in coz u Love ur current BF but alot of things really cant be plainly WAITING ......one has to DECIDE. For U n for HIM.
Maybe ur decision will be greatly dependant on how ur BF's gonna react to this suituation......either he WAKES UP or DREAMS ON.......U can use this time to LOOK INTO ur own life......will u b Happy if ur BF remains the way he is now in future when married? As for ur Admirer...try not to involve too much with him yet as in Feelings coz it may not be a really fair case to ur BF......settle wif ur BF's case 1st then proceed on to.....ermm...well....i dunno......it's ur decisions.....U've done ur part...it's time ur BF shld be doing sth.....
GD LUCK TO U...may u find ur HAPPINESS! -
Your bf SEEMS like a pretty self-indulged kind of man? I would not make out comments on whether he'll make it one day, though SEEMINGLY very unlikely... Whether you want to stay with this bf of yours is all up to you... If might have some LOVE to gain, but PRICE to PAY as well.....Originally posted by celery:Please give me advice. I really need help on this.
I am 24 this year.
Currently I have a boyfriend of nearly 2 years. He is 28 years old but has no savings at all. He doesn't like to work, or rather doesn't like to work for people. He has this concept that you will never get rich or never get financial freedom or get out of the 'rat race' if you work for people as an employee. So his dreams and goals are to set up a business and be the richest man in the world with his pictures and stories all over the daily newspapers. All the while I support him with all my might and give him all my encouragement that I could. I am happy he has got such dreams and I believe he can do it if he puts in effort to fulfill his dreams. He has not been working for a year plus now and only survives on his bank savings of hundred plus. Although I have a job and I don't have to live on him and I have never asked for anything from him before, it seems like he is also doing nothing about his own life, a life that is without any savings and money. He keeps teloling me that he has been hot the balls everyday at home exploring the internet to search for his business inspirations. But when I asked him what ideas he has actually got from the internet, he told me he was having a rest for that day and was playing computer games at home, and said he needed more time. He is unable to tell me his progress and what he has done so far for his dreams.
He is also a person with a not-so-good temper, scolds and shouts at me sometimes over a small matter but usually will apologise after he cools down. I voice out this unhappiness and he promise me he will change but I have not yet seen any improvement so far.
He doesn't like my family and my friends. He said my parents didn't like him and my siblings were rude to him and that my family only cared about themselves. He said my friends showed attitude towards him. He firmly told me that after we got married, he would never want to have anything to do with my family and friends but he would not restrict my own interactions with them.
As a girl, I need stability and security for my future. Frankly speaking, I am not an unreasonable person and I have quite good temper and tolerance. I can easily tolerate with temperamental people, but surely not to the extent of being shouted at in public too frequently huh. My ties with my family and my friends are very important to me and I of course hope my future husband will treat them as importantly too.
Then, recently there is this guy who confesses that he likes me. He is my former colleague and everyone who has worked with him before knows he is a very diligent man, a very matured man, takes his job very seriously and has never one time slackened his responsibility at all. He is 26, got an average job, got much better temper, not as good looking as my current boyfriend and he is of bigger size and he smokes which my boyfriend doesn't. But overall. he is a very very nice guy, a person who can be trusted to be a good husband in future.
I am very at lost now... Should I take the risk and wait for my current boyfriend to succeed his dreams one day and no longer be a good-for-nothing like now, but for this I really don't know when he can make it and how long I will have to wait. Or should I go for the other guy who obviously has got better criteria now?
I am so at lost. Can someone please give me an advice on who is good for me? Please tell me what to do.[color=green][/color]
Regarding the 2nd guy.... I think it's only too early to tell if he would be suitable for you since both of you are currently not a pair... But this DECISION should be ANOTHER ISSUE altogether... IDEALLY after you've settled the issue of your bf.... -
There seems to be a third way.
That is to not be involved with them if you dun really feel for them , but to look out for someone else or perhaps there's someone out there whom u like but never dared to appraoch?
Happiness lies in own hands and u probably already know it. -
Shit... This type of GUY also can have gals like him? Can I know why did you like him in the 1st place?? Is it becos he is handsome?Or he put on luv curse onto you?
FATE or the F*** GODS like to play around! -
Well, i guess you still love yr bf at this moment. but tink for the long run, wat do u want from this relationship and where do you see it going.
imagine, 2 yrs down and he is still sitting around and pushing the mouse around on the table aimlessly. a few hunderds now won't last him long, at most till december 2002. as a guy, i seriously can't face the world if pple found out that i'm literally living of my wife/gf. tink i'll have to drown myself to save face.
in order to start a family, there must be finiancial security. can he provide or are you going to become the sole bread winner and he the houseband. if you can live wif tat, fine.
tink abt how he is treating you also. screaming and shouting at you? where is the sign of respect. this is juz the beginning. when you are married, he might even start beating you, and you wanna end up getting a PPO? wat's the point?
unless he suddenly wakes up then i can see a point in carrying on this relation. love is love but sometimes you need some logic to carry on life. in an ideal world, you can juz choose to run away off into the sunset wif him and live happily ever after. sweet rite? welcome back to the non ideal world. we all need to work. the world revolves on money.
if you can't see the future wif him, then it's time to move on. it's no longer in jc where you are together juz becos you 'love' each other. it's not becos there's a better guy trying to jio you, but it's for yrself and yr future.
FOR LOVE IS KNOWING WHEN TO WALK AWAY
gd luck. choose wisely. -
...... ~Sigh....~
-
for me you are just wasting your time ... look into yourself and look into him seriously .... does he worth you waiting for him ... i dun think so ...
-
why isn't she responding? 1 post so far...
-
Originally posted by jOhO:why isn't she responding? 1 post so far...
And that's not all.... LOOK CAREFULLY....? -
Why the.... --->Originally posted by skycrawler:dont understand ur questions?????
By the way, is 'skycrawler' suppose to be SPIDERMAN...?
-
er... enlighten me buddy... i'm lost.Originally posted by Devil1976: And that's not all.... LOOK CAREFULLY....? -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Why the.... --->
By the way, is 'skycrawler' suppose to be SPIDERMAN...? ????
now i really dont understand anything..... -