Father - son relationship problems
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Need some advice.
Have some relationship problems with my dad. Sometimes he never notices the things I did, and keeps on saying what I did not do, and never asks why. Even when I say the reason (valid reasons, like busy, or truly forget) he rarely listens.
never admits wrong and sometimes can be a showoff. I know I shouldn't say this but... hai. If I say something back, like give the reason why I did not do something he always say I love to quarrel with people. Wth...
Also..... when I'm feeling down, I tell him "no mood" he'll say something like "the buddha does not have emotions" or "emotions is up to you to decide your emotion". This hurts me even more. Or say I tell him I failed my test. He would say "why u always sleep late huh? later u fail and fail again. see you failed maths" instead of saying something nice.
can't remember when's the last time he said sorry to me or said words of encouragement. hai. -
i also fail maths
nvm la
oh ya
not saying anything doesnt mean hes doin nth
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Most people feel about their father this way...
And most father is like that.
Thats why mother is always closer to us ^^
The reason is that father work and mother stay home do housework...
See mother more then see father...
thats why closer to mother...
Also, some might feel that they are like 'abusing' their power as elder... Everything they can say but we cannot talk back...
For me is the same... I hate my father...
And after so many time of he being wrong, and push the blame to me, i decided not to talk to him anymore...
I can for a whole week talk less then 3 sentence with him...
Just tired of talking with him then get scold... for no reason... -
my dad is egoistic, stereotypical chinese fatherly type, middle aged.Originally posted by popikachu:For me is the same... I hate my father...
And after so many time of he being wrong, and push the blame to me, i decided not to talk to him anymore...
I can for a whole week talk less then 3 sentence with him...
Just tired of talking with him then get scold... for no reason...
his logic is odd
Once he offered to buy me curry rice. So i said, thanks. So comes the curry rice (tah pow). I was doing something, so he poured the rice into another bowl, then accidently spills abit on the floor/table.
Then what happens?
He scold me "why u tell me buy curry rice, see now I spilled on floor need to wipe"
I was
My fault?
Sigh.... -
I am happy that both my parents not like that.
Only thing i dont like is my mum damm paranoid about me being skinny haha. -
thats better lor.. i dont remember talking to my stepdad for many days straight
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almost anyone above my age always like this. including teachers.Originally posted by Mr_Nameless:never admits wrong and sometimes can be a showoff. I know I shouldn't say this but... hai. If I say something back, like give the reason why I did not do something he always say I love to quarrel with people. Wth... -
maybe ur dad don't know how to express his love towards you.
so he do smething like dis. lool -
That why mum are alway the best....
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sometimes its hard to communicate with parents because they come from a different generation from us. that is why they may stereotype and tend to have old fashion mindsets.
my parents tend to stereotype and restrict my freedom even if they are professionals because they think its not good for me.
at the end of the day your parents love you. -
So lucky.
I don't even know who my father is. -
/pats patsOriginally posted by jojobeach:So lucky.
I don't even know who my father is. -
Are you my father ?Originally posted by lageihsif:/pats pats -
no.Originally posted by jojobeach:Are you my father ?
/points at ts -
You are TS's father ?Originally posted by lageihsif:no.
/points at ts -
no.Originally posted by jojobeach:You are TS's father ?
im his son
ur my brother -
Impossible... TS younger than me.Originally posted by lageihsif:no.
im his son
ur my brother -
ts's a clone.Originally posted by jojobeach:Impossible... TS younger than me.
his original 1 is our father -
gen. gap.. sigh. His style is very his era.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:sometimes its hard to communicate with parents because they come from a different generation from us. that is why they may stereotype and tend to have old fashion mindsets.
my parents tend to stereotype and restrict my freedom even if they are professionals because they think its not good for me.
at the end of the day your parents love you.
When I go bbq (like 2 or 3 times a yr max) he'll say I'm a "current student". Huh? Students can't make friends?! Then he say "make friends? Go find work" wtf.
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Believe it or not this is one stage in life every son and dad has to go through.You might think that he is uncaring towards you and never listen but he does,he might think that you are an ungrateful son but you do owe him but just dont want to show it.The problem is that you are becoming a man too soon and he is afraid for you,on the other hand he has forgotten what it is like to be a young man and you find him different and no fun.Just have to wait for the next stage in life when the two of you would automatically start to communicate again.
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haiz...at least ur dad is still around.
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Growing up, I was never close to my dad.
He was always sailing and wouldn't come back for months.
So my mum was the one I am close with.
As I became older and older, my dad to me is just a person who stays in the same roof as me, and quite frankly speaking, I don't feel much for him.
Sometimes, he spits on the floor when we go out which disgust me.
Or he would eat leftover food without heating them up.
I tried to be nice to him and try 2 know him more, but he was always a man of few words. Sometimes when I tell him something, he just nods and keeps quiet. I thought he wasn't interested in what I am saying and subsequently I just tell my mum whatever happenings there are in my life.
Last year, he got a stroke. As he lied in bed and told me that he may now need to depend on me and my sis to take care of him for the rest of his life, my heart broke.
He was always the silent type, but I know he shed tears over his stroke.
It was around this time I started to know him better.
I took the effort to talk to him more, know him better. And I realise that he actually really doted on me.
The man who I thought don't know me is actually the man who knows me better than anyone else.He's better now and can walk on his own without assistance.
True, mothers may be the ones that most people are close to, but do remember that our dads love us just as much. Just that he may not show it always.
It took a stroke for me to realise that. I now treasure my dad a lot.
And u guys should too. Dads may be the ones who scold or pick fault with u, but do remember to treasure him. Don't wait until he's gone before u regret. -
maybe he's just feeling like a failure.
how old is he? does he have things that he was dreaming of ? maybe he looked up and see rich people with mercs, nice condo, overseas holiday... then he look down and he sees him stuck in HDB, can't afford own transport or holiday, and the son who he really hope can be the turning point... failed math.
he's just not happy with his life, and you are the victim cos you are always around him. he's grumpy not because he hates you, it's just a way to let it out... he needs to let it go otherwise it will be a killer sickness if he tries to swallow it. unfortunately, when he needs to be grumpy, you are always around.
now, if this is the case.. how you think you should face it? should you just don't bother? should you encourage him? should you fight him back?
your call... -
your father doesn't know how to express himself nicely.
but he meant well. -
i oso have a dad who's having the same character as ur dad bahx..dunno abt ur dad but my dad doesnt admit that he's wrong..even he's wrong,he wld argue until u got nth to say..and if he loses in a quarrel,he wld change the subject by saying like 'how dare u shout at me?!' or smth like that..den ended up he says u're at the wrong still wanna argue or smth..oso dam unreasonable..haiz..i think for me the only way for me is to avoid him..i noe it's rather weird but i think i wld rather avoid than talking to him face to face about the prob..becoz i noe that his character doesnt allow him to talk peacefully face to face to his son de..that's y..Originally posted by Mr_Nameless:my dad is egoistic, stereotypical chinese fatherly type, middle aged.
his logic is odd
Once he offered to buy me curry rice. So i said, thanks. So comes the curry rice (tah pow). I was doing something, so he poured the rice into another bowl, then accidently spills abit on the floor/table.
Then what happens?
He scold me "why u tell me buy curry rice, see now I spilled on floor need to wipe"
I was
My fault?
Sigh....
so dont worry k...i'm sure when we all grow up,things wld change..