advice needed..
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well, basically the scenario is as such..
i have this friend who's currently in school XYZ. however, she really really doesnt like that school, and have barely managed to endure through the past 6 months in that school..now, her promos are just round the corner, and there's a high probability that she'll fail and get retained (her studies aint that good). i've been trying to help her in whatever ways i can, helping her in her studies..the thing is, she doesnt feel the motivation. also, she said that she'll probably end her life if she really flunks her promotional exams, rather than suffering another year in that school.
so basically, what im asking is for some advice on how to help her..thanks.. -
its her life.
you like her is it? -
quit and go poly
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my gfOriginally posted by mistyblue:its her life.
you like her is it?
and for that poly thing, forgot to mention, her parents wouldnt let her do that..she's currently in the science stream, and neither will her parents let her change to arts. so basically, she's just stuck there. -
Ask her to drop out then... She want to get out but she is not helping herself...Originally posted by mystiv:well, basically the scenario is as such..
i have this friend who's currently in school XYZ. however, she really really doesnt like that school, and have barely managed to endure through the past 6 months in that school..now, her promos are just round the corner, and there's a high probability that she'll fail and get retained (her studies aint that good). i've been trying to help her in whatever ways i can, helping her in her studies..the thing is, she doesnt feel the motivation. also, she said that she'll probably end her life if she really flunks her promotional exams, rather than suffering another year in that school.
so basically, what im asking is for some advice on how to help her..thanks..
The only easy way is to drop out of school. Else, ask her to apply for a transfer lor.
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talk to a teacher
school counsellor? -
cant la. parents.Originally posted by caleb_chiang:Ask her to drop out then... She want to get out but she is not helping herself...
The only easy way is to drop out of school. Else, ask her to apply for a transfer lor.
transfer ah..transfer at most can go a lousier school, and still end up getting whacked upside down by her parents
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Tell your gf,Originally posted by mystiv:well, basically the scenario is as such..
i have this friend who's currently in school XYZ. however, she really really doesnt like that school, and have barely managed to endure through the past 6 months in that school..now, her promos are just round the corner, and there's a high probability that she'll fail and get retained (her studies aint that good). i've been trying to help her in whatever ways i can, helping her in her studies..the thing is, she doesnt feel the motivation. also, she said that she'll probably end her life if she really flunks her promotional exams, rather than suffering another year in that school.
so basically, what im asking is for some advice on how to help her..thanks..
If she cannot survive in JC, then forget about University. University is not like JC so spoon-feded. I scored 4 A in my JC, but now i feel like quitting uni. However, i still hold on..... y? for my degree lol... no matter how bad it turns out, i will be grateful AS LONG AS I HAVE TRIED MY BEST...
I think this is the mentality that she needs to have now. Nothing is worst till u steps into the working world. -
thought about telling her to go for counselling...suggested it, and turns out that she's extremely against that idea for some reason or another..Originally posted by udontknowme:talk to a teacher
school counsellor? -
it's up to her now, really.
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most pple are against the ideaOriginally posted by mystiv:thought about telling her to go for counselling...suggested it, and turns out that she's extremely against that idea for some reason or another..
but if she means if about ending her life, i think it's safer to just make her go.
go with her....???
did u ask why she is against it??
it might also help her with the issues she has with her parents not letting her change course etc. -
she has to choose her life
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i know about that..Originally posted by Uncertain:Tell your gf,
If she cannot survive in JC, then forget about University. University is not like JC so spoon-feded. I scored 4 A in my JC, but now i feel like quitting uni. However, i still hold on..... y? for my degree lol... no matter how bad it turns out, i will be grateful AS LONG AS I HAVE TRIED MY BEST...
I think this is the mentality that she needs to have now. Nothing is worst till u steps into the working world.
problem is, im sure you know not everyone has that strong a mind to hold on..yeah? what me and you can do, aint what some others may be able to do..ah.. -
hmm..ok...maybe i'll try that..provided that she manages to get through her promos 1stOriginally posted by udontknowme:most pple are against the idea
but if she means if about ending her life, i think it's safer to just make her go.
go with her....???
did u ask why she is against it??
it might also help her with the issues she has with her parents not letting her change course etc.
cant quite rmb her reason for being anti-counselling.. -
hmm... very hard to advice... if she doesn't grow stronger mentally then i advice u to tell her to quit. It is totally pointless to struggle. But then... before she quits... ask her this question:" In the future, if u don't have a diploma or degree, do u think u can survive?"Originally posted by mystiv:i know about that..
problem is, im sure you know not everyone has that strong a mind to hold on..yeah? what me and you can do, aint what some others may be able to do..ah..
The answer to this question is rather ambiguous... career is not all about qualification though but more of luck and opportunities being seized. However, qualification is a STEPPING STONE for a person to get the job he/she desires. -
just tell her to endure!!
although it is really quite hard and difficult!
i had experience too!!!
Maybe try to talk to her and show her some comfort.
Maybe is the school environment!
ask abt school environment, is it the people making her life difficult or is it school work!!
if it is people , then she have to find ways!
if it is school work, find tution centre or pple to coach her!
tell her to perserve!!
jia you!!
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I agree with thisOriginally posted by Uncertain:Tell your gf,
If she cannot survive in JC, then forget about University. University is not like JC so spoon-feded. I scored 4 A in my JC, but now i feel like quitting uni. However, i still hold on..... y? for my degree lol... no matter how bad it turns out, i will be grateful AS LONG AS I HAVE TRIED MY BEST...
I think this is the mentality that she needs to have now. Nothing is worst till u steps into the working world.
Why give up so early?
For a start, you may try Homework Forum. In JC, it is a lot of self motivation and initiative to learn. The teachers will be especially willing to help if she asks them any questions. JC is a time for her to learn how to manage the stress level and low motivation problem. She has to get through this stage of life.
There's still some time before promos. Work hard everyday and the results will be the sweet reward that she can get in the end. May I know what subjects she's taking? Certain combinations can bring more stress than others. -
Right now, it might be hard to convince her parents, so I guess all you can do is support her.
Tell her to do her best, and if she fails, then she'll have to cross the bridge when she gets there. Don't focus too far, just on the task at hand. If she really can't take it, I think if she opens her heart to her parents, they'll understand. I mean, few parents would be so unreasonable to demand more from their kids if the child breaks down in front of them. Hopefully it doesn't come down to that.
But really, she has to take things one step at a time. The future is there, on the horizon, but it's not necessarily her focus. Focusing too far will only scare her. Just get her to try her best, then there'll be minimal regrets. -
Parents want the best for their kids.
Parents don't always know WHATS best for their kids.
My experience is, if a person threatens to "end their life", let them.
Only then will they realise that not everyone is going to run to their aid everytime they cry.
When she learns this, maybe then she will also realise that there will come a point where she has to take control of her life....and parents NEVER make that decision an easy one (because they love you).
Shes got to choose to do it though.
All you can do is listen to her when she needs to whine/talk/cry...and be there for her to remind her that there is really more to life than just "her problem at school". -
Migrate overseas. She may stand a better chance in than studying in a pressure cooker.
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Make a suicide pact with her - both of you commit sepuku together lor! End of misery liao.........
