Breaking up..
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Guys and Gals..
I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again. I think there's more time for relationships later..as for now... i wanna enjoy life to the max 1st...not hooking up with other girls/guys..but juz enjoy singlehood...spend more time with frenz kinda thing... lemme spoil myself...let me be the 1st prioriy in my life...
But, i love her very much and i dont want to hurt her feelings..what shud i do?
I wanna noe answers from the point of view that im a gal..and also as a guy... -
u're entitled to go for wat u (think u) want in life at this moment. so simply put, if u wanna be single for watever reason, then be single. break it off, and yes u may hurt someone in the process, but not after putting in alot of thought i hope.
all the above mentioned that u think will make u happee is achievable while being attached. that's wat i believe.
as for being the first priority in ur own life, well i guess that's a nice way of saying u wanna be selfish? don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to throw flames here. to be honest everyone has to fight for their own happiness, since no one else will, but there is a certain unique and indescribable satisfaction to make another person the first priority, while that same person makes u theirs.
and... priorities are akin to "rules". we can't live by rules all the time. a simple example would be a student having exams. the first priority is to study, and if a student hasn't studied hard enuff to be able to pass the exam, is he/she gonna forgo going to sleep, eating, shitting just to pass the exam? i know it's a pretty simplistic example, but i draw similairities between the example and the view of "priorities" as a whole.
and exactly wat does making YOU the first priority entail anyway? are there "steps" to be taken to make urself the top priority? isn't it a pretty subjective question? and to be honest, isn't that human nature to a certain extent?
maybe my point is that certain things do not have to be hard and fast. in your case, i dun see a need to choose "myself" over "us"... u could be happier being part of an "us" than by urself, or you could not. but if u are/were happee being part of an "us" then wouldn't that mean u're putting urself first priority since u're making urself happee? it's too vague.... i ask again: how exactly do u go about making urself top priority? and even if u knew the "techniques", how sure are u that they will work? -
Its sad to know tat u're still loving her but for some personal reasons, u wanted time & space to be alone. Actually, i've experienced similar situations before too
i tink its really selfish to make such decision leaving her with no choice but to accept your decision. Maybe there's a need to balance ur time well bet relationship & frenz...
but if u really feel that breaking up is what u tink is best for u, dun drag it too long. If u dun intend for a patch-up after u've enjoyed ur single-hood, make it clear & dun let her wait for u.
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One of the hardest lesson to learn from a relation is to allow them freedom to leave and be steady about it - what's point of any relation if either one of them feels drained and not happy at all?Originally posted by CorNeck:Guys and Gals..
I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again. I think there's more time for relationships later..as for now... i wanna enjoy life to the max 1st...not hooking up with other girls/guys..but juz enjoy singlehood...spend more time with frenz kinda thing... lemme spoil myself...let me be the 1st prioriy in my life...
But, i love her very much and i dont want to hurt her feelings..what shud i do?
I wanna noe answers from the point of view that im a gal..and also as a guy...
If it is meant to be yours, love will fly around and come back to your embrace even if it may get lost for a long moment - but surely, if it is meant to be yours, the fog of life cannot stop its yearning to return.
People hate making love decision because it involve two not one. If you are trying to delay the inevitable outcome, might as well, grant him/her happiness to move on? Relation is not about sticking together - its about learning and growing.
Cheers -
Originally posted by CorNeck:Guys and Gals..
I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again. I think there's more time for relationships later..as for now... i wanna enjoy life to the max 1st...not hooking up with other girls/guys..but juz enjoy singlehood...spend more time with frenz kinda thing... lemme spoil myself...let me be the 1st prioriy in my life...
But, i love her very much and i dont want to hurt her feelings..what shud i do?
I wanna noe answers from the point of view that im a gal..and also as a guy...
u shld tell her right away and trufully!!Yes,u'll definitely hurt her,(unless she dun really love u dat much! ) but its beta to say nw,rather than when the relationship proceed further,feelings grow deeper then u tell her...it'll be worse for her!!just tell her straight away... -
It is a give-and-take thing. Everybody has their own circle of friends. I bet your bf/gf also has his/her circle of friends.Originally posted by CorNeck:Guys and Gals..
I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again. I think there's more time for relationships later..as for now... i wanna enjoy life to the max 1st...not hooking up with other girls/guys..but juz enjoy singlehood...spend more time with frenz kinda thing... lemme spoil myself...let me be the 1st prioriy in my life...
But, i love her very much and i dont want to hurt her feelings..what shud i do?
I wanna noe answers from the point of view that im a gal..and also as a guy...
If you find the relationship is suffocating you of your social life, then singlehood is a good option. However, why not try to balance between spending quality time with ur bf/gf as well as sharing some happy moments with your normal friends? I've seen people who can do that, and their companions are understanding enough to let them do so. It may just work out for your case too.
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I think both of you need a serious and a heart-to-heart talk and sort this out. Perhaps, he is willing to compromise and let each other have some private time.Originally posted by CorNeck:I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again.
You may want to decide on issues like meeting up only thrice a week and calling each other only once per day...etc.
Don't just say: I think i want a break off. That is hurting, ambiguous and it doesn't bring your point forward. -
hmm.. den if u dun tell her u wanto brk off.. u r oso hurting her .. tt's wad i tink.. cos she nids to noe how u feel too.. since u haf no commitment. dun hurt her further..Originally posted by CorNeck:Guys and Gals..
I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again. I think there's more time for relationships later..as for now... i wanna enjoy life to the max 1st...not hooking up with other girls/guys..but juz enjoy singlehood...spend more time with frenz kinda thing... lemme spoil myself...let me be the 1st prioriy in my life...
But, i love her very much and i dont want to hurt her feelings..what shud i do?
I wanna noe answers from the point of view that im a gal..and also as a guy...
Of cos u dun tell her frankly: " baby, i nid a break" maybe someting like.. u noe.. beat ard the bush... sometimes, it works better this way
I can say it's a personal feeling if u wanto be alone.. i dun tink u're selfish but hiding the truth frm her makes u a selfish and self centred person make ur choice
Regards,
Stephanie -
smallville season 1 Nicodemus(ep15)
"You know, the choice is yours. You can either sit in your loft and play with your telescope, or move on.” –Chloe -
Smallville rocks! Chloe seems to have the best lines...
Back to topic...
I believe a couple can be together and also have time to be alone to do their own things... got real life example in my friend.... -
You there...?Originally posted by CorNeck:Guys and Gals..
I love my bf/gf..but i think i need space to be single again. I think there's more time for relationships later..as for now... i wanna enjoy life to the max 1st...not hooking up with other girls/guys..but juz enjoy singlehood...spend more time with frenz kinda thing... lemme spoil myself...let me be the 1st prioriy in my life...
But, i love her very much and i dont want to hurt her feelings..what shud i do?
I wanna noe answers from the point of view that im a gal..and also as a guy...