Just a thought...
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Well we know the common saying..."all is fair in love" and stuff like that...
Experienced the following incident...probably it's repeated a million times...but just wanna ask...what would u do?
(For easy identification, I shall use letters to denote the people.)
My friend, A, likes this girl B. Well, I've know that for quite some time. And that was even before I left for overseas.
Before leaving, I got to interact more with this girl C, and I had developed a liking for her, but too bad, did not have more time to really build up a good r/s or anything. So I decided to leave things as it is and go overseas. (Personally I do not like to say "I like you" to a girl when it is just the beginning of liking of a person. It might just be a crush, right?) Furthermore, I would not be off for long, just 6 months (or so I thought). And I shared with A that I liked C, since he shared his story with me. We're good friends, after all.
2 months on, and I heard news that B got attached some 3 weeks back. Well, I did not really contact A to ask him that, as I thought that he might be down and in the dumps cos of B.
All the while, C seldom comes online, but everytime she does, I will spend my time to talk to her, and it's great, regardless of the time spent. I sent some emails, so as to bridge the gap between the days which she does not come online.
Meanwhile...A contacted me. He told me that he likes C, the same girl as I liked. I was stunned. It was totally unexpected, and he seemed to wait for my reply. Of course, I was too stunned to say anything, and I closed the conversation window thereafter.
My thoughts were jumbled, confused. I was thinking, how can my friend do this to me? Changing targets so fast? Should I tell C I like her? Thoughts flew through my mind.
Today, I asked him why did he tell me. He said that he felt it is better to tell me personally instead of hearing from someone else, and because he does not feel right talking to me...if he doesnt tell me...like hiding something from me (I changed the subject-verb agreement here, so that's the full sentence).
Sighs. Dunno what to do now. -
Hiaz..
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First, tell this C girl that you like her. Tell her that when you come back from your stint overseas, you intend to "woo" her << this sounds corny so be sure to rephrase it accordingly...lol
DO THIS NOW!
Letting her know your intentions will cast away any doubt she might have about your feelingsd for her and might give you the edge needed.
Then tell A that you appreciated his honesty, but don't intend to back down.
Also remember to tell him that you have communicated your feelings for C to her...and thank him for giving you the courage to do so.
Wish him the best of luck in his endevours, (but not too much luck)
Then put your effort into your interest in this C girl.
There is no real point in getting upset with A or worrying about whether he will get C.
Let C choose who is best for her, and the one who isn't must remember to bow out gracefully.
Always remember that there is still d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z to choose from. -
also got, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, on and fourthOriginally posted by Clandestine:Always remember that there is still d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z to choose from.
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Hmm thanks for the comments...really appreciate itOriginally posted by Clandestine:First, tell this C girl that you like her. Tell her that when you come back from your stint overseas, you intend to "woo" her << this sounds corny so be sure to rephrase it accordingly...lol
DO THIS NOW!
Letting her know your intentions will cast away any doubt she might have about your feelingsd for her and might give you the edge needed.
Then tell A that you appreciated his honesty, but don't intend to back down.
Also remember to tell him that you have communicated your feelings for C to her...and thank him for giving you the courage to do so.
Wish him the best of luck in his endevours, (but not too much luck)
Then put your effort into your interest in this C girl.
There is no real point in getting upset with A or worrying about whether he will get C.
Let C choose who is best for her, and the one who isn't must remember to bow out gracefully.
Always remember that there is still d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z to choose from.
But won't the girl feel weird that...I suddenly tell her that? Like...out of the blue, u know what I mean?
And the worse part is...I cant call home using IDD...darned...card doesnt work on HPs
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Try to work the subject of having someone u like in the coversation, and ask her if there's someone she likes....Originally posted by deathscythe99:Hmm thanks for the comments...really appreciate it
But won't the girl feel weird that...I suddenly tell her that? Like...out of the blue, u know what I mean?
And the worse part is...I cant call home using IDD...darned...card doesnt work on HPs
then tell her "well there is someone i like, she's in Singapore, i talk to her almost everyday via msn, and when she's not online, i write her emails.... etc(inputting other details that leaves no doubt in her mind that u are refering to her)"
P.S. there's a thing called Skype or MSN Web chat. u can virtually talk and not type, -
Why do you worries so much over it?
You must realised that it is not up to you or A to decide about C. It's all about the choice the C might take or might not at all.
Instead of ending up like a desperado and confess to C, why not keep it cool and be normal about it? If A had to tell you that he also likes C, it means he is also not confident about his chances and is probably waiting for you to screw things up with C by hoping that you would be anxious hearing that A also likes C. If you really reacted, then C might be troubled/uncomfortable and A might get a golden ticket to get even closer to C thanks to the situation caused by your silly implusive confession. It's a fair fight and do not be naive to hope that A might be neutral and speak well of you.
If A really had a potential chance of getting C, he wouldn't tell you about it before he succeed. It seems that he realised that he's in some kinda stuck situation with C, and he doesn't know what is the next step that he should or can take regarding C.
You should have a upper hand if you stay cool and ignored what A have told you cos it's not going to help you remained cool if you kept thinking about it. Chances of you screwing up before A does is very very high!!!
One more thing....whatever you do, always keep A out of the equation so that you not self-sabotage yourself or plans things that also accomodate or with A in consideration. Remember....IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU AND C, A .... Who's A?
Be confident in yourself and be a gentlemen towards C. Be a better friend to C first before becoming a boyfriend....not closer friend. Close friend cannot become boyfriend.
Good Luck!Originally posted by deathscythe99:
Well we know the common saying..."all is fair in love" and stuff like that...
Experienced the following incident...probably it's repeated a million times...but just wanna ask...what would u do?
(For easy identification, I shall use letters to denote the people.)
My friend, A, likes this girl B. Well, I've know that for quite some time. And that was even before I left for overseas.
Before leaving, I got to interact more with this girl C, and I had developed a liking for her, but too bad, did not have more time to really build up a good r/s or anything. So I decided to leave things as it is and go overseas. (Personally I do not like to say "I like you" to a girl when it is just the beginning of liking of a person. It might just be a crush, right?) Furthermore, I would not be off for long, just 6 months (or so I thought). [b]And I shared with A that I liked C, since he shared his story with me. We're good friends, after all.
2 months on, and I heard news that B got attached some 3 weeks back. Well, I did not really contact A to ask him that, as I thought that he might be down and in the dumps cos of B.
All the while, C seldom comes online, but everytime she does, I will spend my time to talk to her, and it's great, regardless of the time spent. I sent some emails, so as to bridge the gap between the days which she does not come online.
Meanwhile...A contacted me. He told me that he likes C, the same girl as I liked. I was stunned. It was totally unexpected, and he seemed to wait for my reply. Of course, I was too stunned to say anything, and I closed the conversation window thereafter.
My thoughts were jumbled, confused. I was thinking, how can my friend do this to me? Changing targets so fast? Should I tell C I like her? Thoughts flew through my mind.
Today, I asked him why did he tell me. He said that he felt it is better to tell me personally instead of hearing from someone else, and because he does not feel right talking to me...if he doesnt tell me...like hiding something from me (I changed the subject-verb agreement here, so that's the full sentence).
Sighs. Dunno what to do now.[/b] -
What's meant to be yours, will be yours, no matter how long it takes.
Besides thinking for yourself, have you thought about C feels? You are overseas now. Do you think it is fair for someone to wait for you? You will never know what will happen in the future. -
Yup true. That's what I was thinking...precisely. That made me confused lor..Originally posted by ILPSY:What's meant to be yours, will be yours, no matter how long it takes.
Besides thinking for yourself, have you thought about C feels? You are overseas now. Do you think it is fair for someone to wait for you? You will never know what will happen in the future.
Concerning the above the 2 posts, I've also read, but never quote.
Well...trying to be a better friend...somehow, somewhat. Hopefully there's still time -
Even if C has a bf, you can still be a better friend to her.
Sometimes in life, we cannot expect what is given, to be returned to us 100%, especially in relationships.
I always have this thought: We give willingly, no matter if the other party wants to receive them or not. Thus, we are not entitled to receive any returns from them unless they want to. In love, we give because we love them. However, whether or not they reciprocates our love, it is up to them. We cannot expect them to give their love back to us because in the first place, they did not ask us to give.
Just like secretly admiring someone is sweet and doing things that you think will touch the person. So long as the person is happy, you will be happy too. However, when you become greedy, things changes. It is when you expect the person to reciprocate your feelings and that person does not do the things that you expected, you become sad and frustrated. In this case, aren't we forcing our Will on that person? -
Your case sounds like a Bollywood script.
Clandestine gave some good pointers.
You got to do something.
Letting her know of your feelings for her is one of them.
The other is to continue to contact her.
She gotta decide.
'A' got homeground advantage.
But fret not, as he could be on the rebound from his break up with B.
Eventually it would be up to C to decide whom she wants to be with.
Who dares win.
Who hesitates lose.
Alls fair in love and war. -
Wah you read Art of War de ah? So is it better for TS to let the gal know about his feelings towards her or just an bing bu dong?Originally posted by parn:Why do you worries so much over it?
You must realised that it is not up to you or A to decide about C. It's all about the choice the C might take or might not at all.
Instead of ending up like a desperado and confess to C, why not keep it cool and be normal about it? If A had to tell you that he also likes C, it means he is also not confident about his chances and is probably waiting for you to screw things up with C by hoping that you would be anxious hearing that A also likes C. If you really reacted, then C might be troubled/uncomfortable and A might get a golden ticket to get even closer to C thanks to the situation caused by your silly implusive confession. It's a fair fight and do not be naive to hope that A might be neutral and speak well of you.
If A really had a potential chance of getting C, he wouldn't tell you about it before he succeed. It seems that he realised that he's in some kinda stuck situation with C, and he doesn't know what is the next step that he should or can take regarding C.
You should have a upper hand if you stay cool and ignored what A have told you cos it's not going to help you remained cool if you kept thinking about it. Chances of you screwing up before A does is very very high!!!
One more thing....whatever you do, always keep A out of the equation so that you not self-sabotage yourself or plans things that also accomodate or with A in consideration. Remember....IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU AND C, A .... Who's A?
Be confident in yourself and be a gentlemen towards C. Be a better friend to C first before becoming a boyfriend....not closer friend. Close friend cannot become boyfriend.
Good Luck! -
she's still single...
it's fair lor... -
Originally posted by deathscythe99:
Don't worry, just go ahead.
Well we know the common saying..."all is fair in love" and stuff like that...
Experienced the following incident...probably it's repeated a million times...but just wanna ask...what would u do?
(For easy identification, I shall use letters to denote the people.)
My friend, A, likes this girl B. Well, I've know that for quite some time. And that was even before I left for overseas.
Before leaving, I got to interact more with this girl C, and I had developed a liking for her, but too bad, did not have more time to really build up a good r/s or anything. So I decided to leave things as it is and go overseas. (Personally I do not like to say "I like you" to a girl when it is just the beginning of liking of a person. It might just be a crush, right?) Furthermore, I would not be off for long, just 6 months (or so I thought). [b]And I shared with A that I liked C, since he shared his story with me. We're good friends, after all.
2 months on, and I heard news that B got attached some 3 weeks back. Well, I did not really contact A to ask him that, as I thought that he might be down and in the dumps cos of B.
All the while, C seldom comes online, but everytime she does, I will spend my time to talk to her, and it's great, regardless of the time spent. I sent some emails, so as to bridge the gap between the days which she does not come online.
Meanwhile...A contacted me. He told me that he likes C, the same girl as I liked. I was stunned. It was totally unexpected, and he seemed to wait for my reply. Of course, I was too stunned to say anything, and I closed the conversation window thereafter.
My thoughts were jumbled, confused. I was thinking, how can my friend do this to me? Changing targets so fast? Should I tell C I like her? Thoughts flew through my mind.
Today, I asked him why did he tell me. He said that he felt it is better to tell me personally instead of hearing from someone else, and because he does not feel right talking to me...if he doesnt tell me...like hiding something from me (I changed the subject-verb agreement here, so that's the full sentence).
Sighs. Dunno what to do now.[/b]
You over-analyse. Just because A wanted to change targets doesn't mean you cannot chase right ?
Hey, do you have your own mind as a human being? I believe we have human rights.
It's fair and square and the best gets the girl.
Let her decide who she wants.
doko -
Does A know that you like C before he told u abt him liking C ? If he does then what he did is really wrong. I mean you cant do that to you friend who is still in the "game". Its wrong to just appear as "new challenger" when he is ur frend afterall.
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Originally posted by deathscythe99:
well when it comes to love, its all selfish... ur fren probably jz another despo who go after any gal he sees... n dun tink he reali treat u as fren... but watever he do also no use if C is not interested.... since u not here in sg better do ur homework n improve the relations wif her then when u come back then woo her...
Well we know the common saying..."all is fair in love" and stuff like that...
Experienced the following incident...probably it's repeated a million times...but just wanna ask...what would u do?
(For easy identification, I shall use letters to denote the people.)
My friend, A, likes this girl B. Well, I've know that for quite some time. And that was even before I left for overseas.
Before leaving, I got to interact more with this girl C, and I had developed a liking for her, but too bad, did not have more time to really build up a good r/s or anything. So I decided to leave things as it is and go overseas. (Personally I do not like to say "I like you" to a girl when it is just the beginning of liking of a person. It might just be a crush, right?) Furthermore, I would not be off for long, just 6 months (or so I thought). [b]And I shared with A that I liked C, since he shared his story with me. We're good friends, after all.
2 months on, and I heard news that B got attached some 3 weeks back. Well, I did not really contact A to ask him that, as I thought that he might be down and in the dumps cos of B.
All the while, C seldom comes online, but everytime she does, I will spend my time to talk to her, and it's great, regardless of the time spent. I sent some emails, so as to bridge the gap between the days which she does not come online.
Meanwhile...A contacted me. He told me that he likes C, the same girl as I liked. I was stunned. It was totally unexpected, and he seemed to wait for my reply. Of course, I was too stunned to say anything, and I closed the conversation window thereafter.
My thoughts were jumbled, confused. I was thinking, how can my friend do this to me? Changing targets so fast? Should I tell C I like her? Thoughts flew through my mind.
Today, I asked him why did he tell me. He said that he felt it is better to tell me personally instead of hearing from someone else, and because he does not feel right talking to me...if he doesnt tell me...like hiding something from me (I changed the subject-verb agreement here, so that's the full sentence).
Sighs. Dunno what to do now.[/b] -
Chuck Norris has raped that girl before - thrice.
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I never said I cannot chase... >.<"Originally posted by dokono:Don't worry, just go ahead.
You over-analyse. Just because A wanted to change targets doesn't mean you cannot chase right ?
Hey, do you have your own mind as a human being? I believe we have human rights.
It's fair and square and the best gets the girl.
Let her decide who she wants.
doko
And I do have my own mind as a human being. I'm just looking at the factors and since I barely can do anything right now...geez. It's like an ant on a grill u know. -
Yea A knows I like C before he told me. And he did say (as I've mentioned earlier) that he felt it would be better for him to say to me than listening from someone else...)Originally posted by RaaRaa:Does A know that you like C before he told u abt him liking C ? If he does then what he did is really wrong. I mean you cant do that to you friend who is still in the "game". Its wrong to just appear as "new challenger" when he is ur frend afterall. -
Round 1 : Fight !
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if A were confident, he would have kept silent methinks.
hmm..there's always some room for "politics"
Do you know any of C's friends? -
u did not take action 1st so why bother abt ur friend liking her now
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In fact...I doOriginally posted by LazerLordz:if A were confident, he would have kept silent methinks.
hmm..there's always some room for "politics"
Do you know any of C's friends?
But so does the other guy...so....
I did not take action first cos I was gg overseas. Din want to have a state of "Hey I like u...but I'm gg overseas so shall we be *something* and we continue when we come back?" I feel that it's wrong to do that...besides as I've stated I do not know her that well enough.Originally posted by de_middle:u did not take action 1st so why bother abt ur friend liking her now -
You are still in overseas now. So, what makes you worried now? Your friend is chasing her? Or, are you just disappointed with your friend? But, you have to know that, there may be other guys that have been chasing the girl all along, but its just that you dun know any of them. It doesnt change the game at all.Originally posted by deathscythe99:I did not take action first cos I was gg overseas. Din want to have a state of "Hey I like u...but I'm gg overseas so shall we be *something* and we continue when we come back?" I feel that it's wrong to do that...besides as I've stated I do not know her that well enough.
And, through your story, it seems that you are the only one who has been trying hard to keep the "relationship" going, what about the girl? What does she think of you? -
haiz... now the problem is how to u tell the girl C that u like her.
here is a few suggestion:
Since hp cannot work:
1) see can use webcam a not. Face-to-face always more sincere and get answer very directly (body language).
2) msn or email her. IF possible avoid this mean, quite useless.
Best Ask girl C whether she likes ur fren A a not. If answer is no, wait till u come back then c how.
