sad sad sad....
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I liked this gal for quite a while now. Intially when I told her about it, she told me that she had feelings for me as well but as she can't forget her ex, she couldn't accept me. I respect her decison and continue treating her as a fren. The last couple of mths, she looked for me very often, calling me everyday and askin me out for dinner etc.. I was happy to keep her company but although I never brought up the topic again for fear of her avoiding me again, I feel that she feels something for me as well. But suddenly, she told me and told me she has a bf already. I don't know how to react. She said sorry and asked if I was angry wif her. I told her that I'm a nobody to her and wat right do I have to be angry? And why is she saying sorry to me for? I left, and haven't seen her since. She didn't call me, but she keep sms me those sorry, miss you, gd nite, kind of msg. Can anyone tell me what is going on in her head???
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Dun 'feel'.....cfm with her. Ur feelings r assumptions on ur Own based on how u've perceived her actions. But anyway, i dun blame u for thinking so coz i'd have thought so if i was in ur position
We'll never know wat she wants. If i guess...probably she is indecisive?
However, i can be sure of ONE thing, which is u r Never her 1st Priority. Cant u see tt? She, again probably, finds u someone whom she can be relying on....but yet not prepared for commitment with (why? u gotta ask her)
U r always someone she considers as gd fren as in Platonic F.ship
Sth to add.....she can be misleading u by sms(ing) u all tt (i wont do tt if i know the guy's interested in me but im not) Then again, a lot of my frenz (gals) find it alrite.....she might be one of them again
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I didn't "cfm" wif her becos I was afraid that she'll avoid me, like what happened when I told her I liked her for the 1st time.. I was really happy jus to have her around me, even as frens. But as you said, I was never her 1st piority... she properbly knew she might be leading me on, was selfish of her in a way.. which is why I don't contact her anymore.. I had to fight the urge everynight to call her at the time we used to chat everynite.. I had to refrain myself from thinking abt her or msging her cos I dun wan to be hurt again... but I'm already hurting now... Can't sleep everynite, thinking of what she's doing....
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Give urself sometime......im sure u know tt Time Heals the Wounds
Probably, u've experienced bfe like liking someone so much for tt time but the passion & longing cease when Life moves on & u meet more pple. I've came across jOhO's 'Love Sieve' which is gd to apply to ur case here....U'll learn fr here (this gal).....be more Determined of wat u want in Future by catching only the BIG lump (exactly wat u want)
Again, i've repeated myself in many of my replies.....
True Love can only be revealed when one is nearing death/died coz we can be looking back at our Lives to identify the one True Love. True may not be ur 1st or last....it may jolly well be the 3rd ot 4th. So, marlboro....u know it....let's move on
Found it
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=24560 -
A common classic case.Originally posted by marlboro:I liked this gal for quite a while now. Intially when I told her about it, she told me that she had feelings for me as well but as she can't forget her ex, she couldn't accept me. I respect her decison and continue treating her as a fren. The last couple of mths, she looked for me very often, calling me everyday and askin me out for dinner etc.. I was happy to keep her company but although I never brought up the topic again for fear of her avoiding me again, I feel that she feels something for me as well. But suddenly, she told me and told me she has a bf already. I don't know how to react. She said sorry and asked if I was angry wif her. I told her that I'm a nobody to her and wat right do I have to be angry? And why is she saying sorry to me for? I left, and haven't seen her since. She didn't call me, but she keep sms me those sorry, miss you, gd nite, kind of msg. Can anyone tell me what is going on in her head???
'Guy tell woman he likes her, woman say cannot forget ex'
What does this means? It simply refers to 2 reasons
- Just broke off
- Comparing the both of you, he is better.
In your case, you both become better friends and she started calling you out, talking, all the thingy. In her subconscious mind, she is giving you a chance to do something about it, and it looks like you lost your chance to fear of she avoiding you. - Trust me if you do it properly, no woman would run away the minute you tell them your feelings even they may not like you. Come on - she said cannot forget ex, never say never like you right? This mostly likely is your mis-conception of things, which lead to zero action and ends up in this situation.
You didn't take actions, therefore that guy took it before you. She SMS you all that, IS TO retain that kind of feeling you have in her. Still got 2 reasons
- She wants to have the best of both world
- She knows she won't last with that guy (probably a fling) and still needed you around when she breaks with him.
So... what to do? Play hard to get temporary because by showing signs that you bother means you are at a disadvantage. Yesh you may like her, but ai qin bu nen dang fan chi. I could teach you ways to counter her and make her break with bf, what whats the use? My advice is to move on while keeping an open eye - continue life and such and see how the situations goes, could get her back when tides turns around, but beware not to make it seemed that you have always been there (don't be a spare tyre). Remember to treat mushy SMS as just SMS and ignore mushy statement by deleting. NEVER ponder because you are nobody to her like what you have said - live what you have said to her and I can tell you and she will succumb to you subconsciously.
Post or email me for further advancement in this situations. Cheers. -
Somehow, i think she was just making use of u during dat time...she had no bf,but she cldnt live without a guy...(dats only my pt of view la!) and u were so ready for her...and when she found a bf, u became useless to her liao... dis kinda ger is...how shld i say...selfish?? she still msg u all those msgs coz maybe she dun want u to have the thought dat shes using u, and probably, if she broke off with dis present bf,she can look back for u again!!
Wow!!hey man, if i were u,i wldnt want to have anything to do with her again!! -
Originally posted by reallieRAW:
YOU ARE DAMNED TRUE.... very experienced hor...
Dun 'feel'.....cfm with her. Ur feelings r assumptions on ur Own based on how u've perceived her actions. But anyway, i dun blame u for thinking so coz i'd have thought so if i was in ur position
We'll never know wat she wants. If i guess...probably she is indecisive?
[b]However, i can be sure of ONE thing, which is u r Never her 1st Priority. Cant u see tt? She, again probably, finds u someone whom she can be relying on....but yet not prepared for commitment with (why? u gotta ask her)
U r always someone she considers as gd fren as in Platonic F.ship
Sth to add.....she can be misleading u by sms(ing) u all tt (i wont do tt if i know the guy's interested in me but im not) Then again, a lot of my frenz (gals) find it alrite.....she might be one of them again [/b]
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YOU ARE ALSO DAMN TRUE....Originally posted by ApPlE_PiE:Somehow, i think she was just making use of u during dat time...she had no bf,but she cldnt live without a guy...(dats only my pt of view la!) and u were so ready for her...and when she found a bf, u became useless to her liao... dis kinda ger is...how shld i say...selfish?? she still msg u all those msgs coz maybe she dun want u to have the thought dat shes using u, and probably, if she broke off with dis present bf,she can look back for u again!!
Wow!!hey man, if i were u,i wldnt want to have anything to do with her again!! -
maybe gals understand gals better than guys do... i myself also dunno wat they r thinking
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Well....isnt tt Obvious meh? Dun have to be experiencedOriginally posted by bigdeal:YOU ARE DAMNED TRUE.... very experienced hor...
I can DO it, so CAN u
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Read about a book thats says only enlightened guys and girls understand woman as a whole. Guys are normally thinks with their rational mind, while woman the emotional mind. If you are able to switch to your emotional mind just for that moment to understand what the hell is going on, you will come to realise.Originally posted by bigdeal:maybe gals understand gals better than guys do... i myself also dunno wat they r thinking -
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Hi, u sound like a nice guy. I have a friend who tells me he is waiting for a gal (attractive but attached, at lst ex then bf again) for 3 months. While another guy told him that he has been waiting for her for 6 years... Every of our conversation lasted for hours which I feel tiring. But as an old classmate, I continue listening and help when possible. He is rather obsess with her like: feel like dying when she didn't SMS him back, figuring out her feeling sad when she doesn't get along well with her bf, etc. Although he knew that she is already attach but he still thinks he has hope b'cos she always tell him that her bf doesn't treasure her. She can't tell whether she has any bf or in love b'cos she thinks that her bf is very unstable. He grabs whatever kind of opportunity he can. Sometimes they went karaoke togather, singing love duet songs.
Are you like him? There are abundant of gals out there which, u might not see her now. Time and determination are the best medicine to cure yourself if only you choose to let go. Let her pass without having anymore feelings with SMS or her presence. You will like yourself better as there is another kind of world waiting for you. I know it hurts, but who doesn't get it. -
Some things just don't always happen the way you thought it would be.... Or judging by the way things appear to be.... No supposingly so or not... Especially when it comes to the matters of the heart....Originally posted by marlboro:I liked this gal for quite a while now. Intially when I told her about it, she told me that she had feelings for me as well but as she can't forget her ex, she couldn't accept me. I respect her decison and continue treating her as a fren. The last couple of mths, she looked for me very often, calling me everyday and askin me out for dinner etc.. I was happy to keep her company but although I never brought up the topic again for fear of her avoiding me again, I feel that she feels something for me as well. But suddenly, she told me and told me she has a bf already. I don't know how to react. She said sorry and asked if I was angry wif her. I told her that I'm a nobody to her and wat right do I have to be angry? And why is she saying sorry to me for? I left, and haven't seen her since. She didn't call me, but she keep sms me those sorry, miss you, gd nite, kind of msg. Can anyone tell me what is going on in her head???
2 main reasons which I can propose to you as to why she still sms you such things are....
1. She knew you've got feelings for her... She thought she led you on and felt very sorry that things turned out to be this way...
2. She's conditioned to do so... She just do it... Perhaps even she herself is uncertain why is she doing those things.... Probably just a 'feeling'...? Perhaps she would think of it as either 'friendship' or an 'awkward relationship' which still persist in her mind....
There could very well be other possible reasons... But my advice is no point asking... She might very well be as confused as you are... By asking her and stirring up her feelings won't get both of you anywhere most probably.....
Just realise that whatever it was, it's over... What's the point of asking her what's on her mind and put both of you in a difficult position...? If you still want the relationship with her you can try friendship...? Might not work out, but it's really up to you.... If you really cannot stand her sms or don't want her to do so, can just tell her directly... Alternatively you can just choose to ignore them or give simple replies to them if you can handle it..... -
It could be the 'feelings' which you still just simply can't let go... If that's the case, you'll just have to LEARN to let it go... The EASY way or the HARD way.... Destination's probably the same, you just choose the path to cross the river...?Originally posted by marlboro:I didn't "cfm" wif her becos I was afraid that she'll avoid me, like what happened when I told her I liked her for the 1st time.. I was really happy jus to have her around me, even as frens. But as you said, I was never her 1st piority... she properbly knew she might be leading me on, was selfish of her in a way.. which is why I don't contact her anymore.. I had to fight the urge everynight to call her at the time we used to chat everynite.. I had to refrain myself from thinking abt her or msging her cos I dun wan to be hurt again... but I'm already hurting now... Can't sleep everynite, thinking of what she's doing....
2nd reason's a side-effect... She'd became an essential part of your Life for too long... (though both of you were never really a pair..) Try to fill your mind and time with some other things... For better effect, try to do something which is more routine on a frequent basis OR something which REALLY interest you... Like something which you'd always wanted to do when she was around but you just didn't had the time to do so.... Here's your CHANCE... GRAB IT before another relationship befalls you...? -
1st of all, I AM a nice guyOriginally posted by cat2001:Hi, u sound like a nice guy. I have a friend who tells me he is waiting for a gal (attractive but attached, at lst ex then bf again) for 3 months. While another guy told him that he has been waiting for her for 6 years... Every of our conversation lasted for hours which I feel tiring. But as an old classmate, I continue listening and help when possible. He is rather obsess with her like: feel like dying when she didn't SMS him back, figuring out her feeling sad when she doesn't get along well with her bf, etc. Although he knew that she is already attach but he still thinks he has hope b'cos she always tell him that her bf doesn't treasure her. She can't tell whether she has any bf or in love b'cos she thinks that her bf is very unstable. He grabs whatever kind of opportunity he can. Sometimes they went karaoke togather, singing love duet songs.
Are you like him? There are abundant of gals out there which, u might not see her now. Time and determination are the best medicine to cure yourself if only you choose to let go. Let her pass without having anymore feelings with SMS or her presence. You will like yourself better as there is another kind of world waiting for you. I know it hurts, but who doesn't get it. I guess I'm not as obsessive to her as ur fren is to the gal.. I know I have to let go, but it isn't easy. It takes alot for me not to reply to her msg and not to meet up wif her.... 
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I think u're very rite abt the second reason. She HAS become a part of my life without me realising it...Originally posted by Devil1976:It could be the 'feelings' which you still just simply can't let go... If that's the case, you'll just have to LEARN to let it go... The EASY way or the HARD way.... Destination's probably the same, you just choose the path to cross the river...?
2nd reason's a side-effect... She'd became an essential part of your Life for too long... (though both of you were never really a pair..) Try to fill your mind and time with some other things... For better effect, try to do something which is more routine on a frequent basis OR something which REALLY interest you... Like something which you'd always wanted to do when she was around but you just didn't had the time to do so.... Here's your CHANCE... GRAB IT before another relationship befalls you...? -
Originally posted by reallieRAW:
yeah.. if she realli likes u, she would haf stead wif u.. why bother haf another bf? rite? i tink she just takes u as a spare tyre.. when she brks wif her bf.. she will look up for u.. realli..
Dun 'feel'.....cfm with her. Ur feelings r assumptions on ur Own based on how u've perceived her actions. But anyway, i dun blame u for thinking so coz i'd have thought so if i was in ur position
We'll never know wat she wants. If i guess...probably she is indecisive?
[b]However, i can be sure of ONE thing, which is u r Never her 1st Priority. Cant u see tt? She, again probably, finds u someone whom she can be relying on....but yet not prepared for commitment with (why? u gotta ask her)
U r always someone she considers as gd fren as in Platonic F.ship
Sth to add.....she can be misleading u by sms(ing) u all tt (i wont do tt if i know the guy's interested in me but im not) Then again, a lot of my frenz (gals) find it alrite.....she might be one of them again [/b]
And she might just want u to be her sweetie pie.. meaning.. to sweeten her every now and den.. wif ur sweet words..
She is just another girl who is not commited to her bf..
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smallville season2 ep1 Vortex
“As long as you live people will try to exploit you” – Martha to Clark