perhaps breaking up is not the word
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Just wondering if it is wise to go back into a relationship to an ex who dumped you for 3 times for other gals.
Sometimes, it is so hard to trust men. And you don't know when is it the truth and when is it not. -
hmm i think it not wise... cos there might be a possiblity that he might do it again since this is not the first time
but i think, sometimes even though that guy had let u down for a no of times, that girl will still accept him still thinking that he will change...
cos love is blind... -
I guess you must have love him a lot........which lead you to be so blinded to the extend of going back to him even though he did you wrong..........
but you must be very clear on one thing.........doing it once, twice or even the third time, may mean that he will do it again in future...this is very highly.
If I am not wrong, I think he has already developed the thinking that no matter what he does, you will stay as faithful to him as ever & will definitely go back to his side.
In a way, it will be unhealthy for your relationship.
in fact, nobody can decide what to do for you...you yourself know best.
Maybe you can try to ask yourself the following question...
do u want to fight a battle that is so uncertain & the possibility of losing the war is very high?
in any situation, try to protect yourself..........do not let this guy hurt you any further...
do not give up a tree for a whole forest........
good luck~ -
You'll never know unless you STEP into it.... Worse still, for some people who's in it and still do not know.... Then again, there're people who knows but just don't do anything about it.... This is LIFE.... Like it or not....?Originally posted by star princess:Just wondering if it is wise to go back into a relationship to an ex who dumped you for 3 times for other gals.
Sometimes, it is so hard to trust men. And you don't know when is it the truth and when is it not. -
i dun think u shld go back to him...u had been hurt bythe same guy thrice,and yet nw,u still wan to go back to him??
ger,u have to learn how to protect urself!! learn how to love urself first b4 learning how to love another person...there are plenty of gd guys out there...who noes??maybe some time later u'll find a guy who truly love u??'
Life is very unpredictable...dun go back to him...
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I wun suggest u to go back to him.... coz he hv betray ur trust in him for so many times...
there might be a chance he will do it again...
he must hv taken u for granted....
dun waste ur time on him....u deserve someone better
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First if he wants to go back to you after he had fun from other girls, this is known as what layman calls it the 'SPARE TYRE'. Don't talk about love this love that - ai qin bu nen dang fan chi, true love needs wisdom - many people lacks, but through experience, they gain it. If you talking about experience here and learning of lessons - if you still go back to him, you have zero right to say say 'ITS so HARD to TRUST guys because the first law in love is....Originally posted by star princess:Just wondering if it is wise to go back into a relationship to an ex who dumped you for 3 times for other gals.
Sometimes, it is so hard to trust men. And you don't know when is it the truth and when is it not.
'Its you who chooses your partner not your partner chooses you.'
If you doesn't want - he can't do anything regardless what he did and since you never learn your lessons - he knows your weakness and exploit it, you are always going around a cycle. Don't think about 'I love him alot' kind of thingy because thats your weakness - think about 'I believe that I can find someone eventually that will treasure me instead of using me as a security after having fun with other woman'
You said you don't know when is the truth, when is not - you are feeling insecured and there is little trust in this relation, which just further warn you that you should'nt stick with his guy - and you NEVER heed.
Is love in its purest form is actually very simple - but in reality this is far from truth. By itself before it gets break down into its purest form - it is hell of a complicated. People with love wisdom will see through many love scheme people uses regardless whether it happens on others, or on yourself. Always heed what your womanly INSTINCT tells you and don't overly reply on your emotions because woman's emotions is untrustable.
In love - its is survival of the fittess - those with wisdom will survive, those without will go through learning cycle that they never learn. Are you going to be one of the latter? -
Maybe i didn't express myself clearly in my message. But it is really not easy to spell out everything here. It involves lots of feelings. I know the 'give yourself sometime' 'know more friends' 'don't be dependant on him' 'don't let him cheat you' and so on...Originally posted by Yunhaier:In love - its is survival of the fittess - those with wisdom will survive, those without will go through learning cycle that they never learn. Are you going to be one of the latter?
When i said about the trust issue. I mean, i am not sure whether to truly believe in his 'i love you' because that alone brings so much emotional feelings. I feel confused, happy but yet doubting.
One can never say who is right and who is wrong in a relationship. You aren't the one who went through it all.
I will be slow, maybe be friends again and along the way, observe him more and should the feelings come back again, we will see what is best for us.
I never take relationship for granted or will i treat it like a game. Its not like a skill which you can master. It's not about surviving. It's totally a different flow for me. -
You feel confuse because you can't take his words for real many at times, which makes you doubting. You are happy because at the point of time when he is trying to patch you up - definitely he will re-woo you again - he will be like the good old last time guy (the beginning stage), this brings back happy moments, you will feel happy.Originally posted by star princess:Maybe i didn't express myself clearly in my message. But it is really not easy to spell out everything here. It involves lots of feelings. I know the 'give yourself sometime' 'know more friends' 'don't be dependant on him' 'don't let him cheat you' and so on...
When i said about the trust issue. I mean, i am not sure whether to truly believe in his 'i love you' because that alone brings so much emotional feelings. I feel confused, happy but yet doubting.
One can never say who is right and who is wrong in a relationship. You aren't the one who went through it all.
I will be slow, maybe be friends again and along the way, observe him more and should the feelings come back again, we will see what is best for us.
I never take relationship for granted or will i treat it like a game. Its not like a skill which you can master. It's not about surviving. It's totally a different flow for me.
I am not the one that go through this, but there is one thing for sure - feelings is only one part of the pictures (because it is always the feelings that retains you), but ultimately, are you delay the inevitable? Or because you let yourself fall back into history (your bf KNOWS this point about you thats why he always repeat his act)? Nobody says feelings is easy to let go - its not - but willingness to try to release yourself from this chains of depression is the first step.
Think about this - if he really did repent, why not be the first time you both patch? Why not the second? And why not the third? If he is really treasuring this relation - what problems would be so major that you both have to go on separate ways? Most problems are solvable if BOTH parties wants to - not saying that you are not doing anything - perhaps you are doing everything, but it needs two the clap.
This relation already lacks the *must-have* - trust. Even if you were to go back to him for the fourth time, fifth, etc, would be still the be same? No... (you know it deep inside).
I think I expressed wrongly - every relation is a venture (like doing something you never did before). You have to understand yourself very well, what you actually want, and stuff, before committing because with a strong foundation in mental principles - problems are just more like a breezing wind. This wisdom and the woman's inner voice is like a page messenger - it brings message, warning, etc to you, who will eventually make the decision.
I could see you have been listening to your emotions all these while - its not right nor wrong (correct), but if it is message is effective, you wouldn't be posting it your problems here because you would be much happier now. I am gald to hear that you never take relationship for granted, which seemed to me that this past relation hasn't bring you down - instead it builds you up.
You have already made a decision yourself - to be friends. My post is not to make decision for you - you have already done it, but all I am doing is to let you know things from another point of view. All this while you have been listening to pure feelings - try for a moment to look at my words and see if it makes any point.
One warning is that when you both remain as friends, be weary and cautious about it - because you will never be sure of yourself whether you just really wanna remain as friend, or it's another beginning steps of your cycle agan.
Prays -
thank you Yunhaier for your most honest and detailed analysis on my short 2 para of my message here.
Yes it's always nice to hear from another person's perspective and you have indeed make me wonder why you are able to think deeply unlike most guys (in general). you are only 1985? that's so young.
Have a bright future. All the best and thank you for your posts. -
I am 1984...Originally posted by star princess:thank you Yunhaier for your most honest and detailed analysis on my short 2 para of my message here.
Yes it's always nice to hear from another person's perspective and you have indeed make me wonder why you are able to think deeply unlike most guys (in general). you are only 1985? that's so young.
Have a bright future. All the best and thank you for your posts.
You are welcome, by the way... -
yeah true.. it's not whether it's hard anot.. it's u dunno when or whether it's worth the trust=)Originally posted by star princess:Just wondering if it is wise to go back into a relationship to an ex who dumped you for 3 times for other gals.
Sometimes, it is so hard to trust men. And you don't know when is it the truth and when is it not.
Well... I tink tt ex not worth it.. why let urself be a victim? keep away frm him man ger...
If u dowan to get hurt i mean... i hate to see gers get hurt.. cos i haf been in tt situation b4..
Though u like him alot.. but rem.. not everyone will change.. u cant expect him to change.. and if he's going out wif other gers.. it is proven he cant go for a stable relationship..
Last time i used to warn my exs: if u wanto flirt.. dun stead
.. sounds like if u wanna drink , dun drive.. it;s the same ting..
But love.. u cant buy insurance..
Expect the unexpected..
Regards,
Stephanie
the decision is in ur hands.. to get hurt or to get outta hurt -
TRUST....
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Is Love realli a hurting matter? Why do ppl blame that love hurts ppl every single time? Or do we allow the hurt to come to us, and we dont do something to avoid it? some times guyz just wan a shoulder to ly on then they r lonely. Beware. if u cant make up ur mind, trust ur heart to make the decision for u. 3 Cheerz for u gerOriginally posted by star princess:thank you Yunhaier for your most honest and detailed analysis on my short 2 para of my message here.
Yes it's always nice to hear from another person's perspective and you have indeed make me wonder why you are able to think deeply unlike most guys (in general). you are only 1985? that's so young.
Have a bright future. All the best and thank you for your posts. -
star princess,
I hate to admit this but had to that there are really some guys out there who are just not worth you to wait or give chance to. Because they knew once they had enough fun for now outside with others gals, they can easily come back to you because they know they had the ability to sweet talk you into doing it. Been hurts once is more than enough. Try to protect yourself from people like him. I had a friend gal friend who are in the same stituation like you and she just don't seem to be able to get out of it. I even remember reading a story of a gal in your stituation and she eventually end up killing herself. So it is not worth. Those guys only love themselves more anyone else if not they will know that they need to be considerate about others feeling before doing anything thats hurts.
BrenBren -
erm but u hab to think urself hab u done anything wrg anot first lor....if u treat him perfectly good etc den u shld dump him lah...but if u so demanding throw tantrums always surely he will leave u for other gals rite....