Originally posted by Silenthunter:
I'll try to give a very neutual answer.......the fact is.....NONE of them is actually wrong.
A relationship that falls after 9 years is something different from a relationship that fall after 2years. Most probably, Mr A and GF are very serious to each other. Or else why the GF wait for 9 years? If the GF is a real bitch she would've pass in 2 or 3 years.
So the main reason for failure could be lying on the change of perspective of the GF are Mr A in the 9 years. As time pass, pple tend to mature and think differently. Maybe the GF was young then and now she understand her own need and wat she wants. maybe during the middle of the relationship she and Mr A had a great fight that affected him or her deeply . 9 years alot of things can happen that could either weaken or Strength the relationship. Of course in this case....it's the latter.
The girl is not entire wrong. Mr B's advances might give her the need that Mr A fail to give. Mr B's advances might heal her from the wound of Mr A's relationship. The GF might find that Mr A neglecting her, be it work or other factors. For 9 year, one could be tired of the other's character and she could be putting up with many of his bad habits that Mr A doesn't want to change. It's not wrong not to love someone anymore, wat really matters is whether are you able to live the one you don't love. in this case, the GF knew she cannot carry on this relationship anymore. Her "chase me again" might not only be meant giving Mr A a chance, but to give herself another chance to love Mr A again.....of course Mr A chose breaking up. And With Mr B in the picture, Mr B might be more click with her in terms of the things Mr A not not fit in. Mr A might think that he loved her and showed his love, but that may be be the kind of love the GF really wants. The GF is not selfish, who want to live with someone that he/she don't like FOR LIFE? Not me definately......will you? However the GF is wrong for not sorting out her finally feelings earlier.
Mr A is not wrong but he's not entirely innocent too. First Mr A have to tell himself how he got this GF and how he treated her. Did Mr A know alot about her character and she behave? Have Mr A been unreasonable with his GF before and have Mr A been to libreral on her that she might get to wrong idea tha that Mr A don't care. Mr A might think that her put in alot of effort but this that wat the GF wants? Did Mr A try hard to save the relationship? Or did he just meet up with her more, give her flowers and money? If so then he'll surely fail. But if the GF is still unmoved, then it's no use to hang on to such flimsy relationship. She could be better off without Mr A and he could be better off without her. Mr A cannot blame Mr B or his GF, he can only reflect upon himself, stand up from failure and learn.
Mr B is the third party. There's nothing wrong to love someone, even if the one is already attached. Mr B's love could be so deep that he cannot retrained himself. But third party or not, Mr is not wrong. If the relationship had been strong, Mr B would even stand a chance. But the relationship is weak and that's why Mr B got it. Who know Mr B might've save the day cos he's the one to make Mr A and GF realise that their relationship is not working and have to break.
Cos of, this are based on my opinion. Very neutual. You didn't give much details on their character and so on so I cannot say that the GF is a money-eating BITCH or Mr B is the CUNNING ASSHOLE or Mr A is the pathetic poor victim. IMO, nobody is wrong.
If there anything you disagree, I welcome subjective critcs....I won't tolerate flames.
Good analysis and I almost agree with you, with the exceptions...
I agree with the fact that if she is a bitch, she would have broke him long ago instead of lingering in this relation....
- Her Bf is good, but she has finally found someone who is much better than those other guys who tries to woo her. In terms of everything. If you are talking about strength of relation, 9 years does not mean = strong foundation - in fact in reality, the longer a relation goes without marriage - it is at risk of a weaker foundation, because relation is a continuous movement - either going up, or going down. The same as your second paragraph, with a slight difference in explaining.

For your third paragraph, you provide reasonable insight into this situation, but I have disagree slightly and add more one point. You said the whole entire paragraph, let me phrase it into one sentence: 'You should go with the person you really love, instead of sticking with someone where the chemistry and feeling is gone.'
But the thing is that marriage is a totally another issue. She dump him and married him straight away. This makes totally ZERO sense, because she probably led a strange relation with this guy prior before she made this decision of marrying. A high likelihood of two-timing. I mean you don't break, go with another guy and marry him right? So, this shows that a private relation is likely to happen within the girl and guy B - in Love, nobody is at fault (its personal preception, feelings and way of thinking), so, yes it is not her fault - but it does degrade her don't do think?

Guy B.... as long as she is not married - he still stand a chance. So I agree with your saying.

Guy A.... one thing I have to say is that he is the one who broke her and discovered that his gf isn't what she think she is - it is a good thing and he should be gald that he didn't marry her, because if he did - he is going to regret to find out that her heart is not totally with her and would likely end up in divorce. If there is a child already - another innocent party comes into the picture and complicate this situation. Thank God that before such scenario happens - he have seen the real picture. He is not the victim - he is the enlightened one.
