Learning to love yourself - an article to share.
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Learning to Love Yourself
It Begins With You...
We've all heard it countless times before, "To experience true love, we first must love ourselves," or some variation of such. However it is stated, the importance of self love is vital to becoming a healthy, whole, human being. We are all children of the universe, created out of love. We accept and love other people, animals, nature, all that comes from the same source as we do. We too then, are worthy of our own love. To honor oneself with love and acceptance is to honor the universe that created us.
Self love is about fully embracing oneself, realizing one's strengths and accepting one's flaws. Self love is not about being self-centered or self-absorbed, which is based on insecurity and not knowing oneself. True self love is a guarantee that we will not succumb to such selfish pursuits. For if we truly love ourselves we know that we do not need to be the best looking, most talented, or have the most possessions. When we love ourselves, we are able to give love freely to others without fear of being hurt or used. We love ourselves enough to not allow others to take advantage of us. And, when we are secure in our love of self, we attract the love of others.
To learn to love yourself, treat yourself the way you treat those you love. Be kind to yourself, giving yourself all that you need to be happy and healthy. Show yourself a good time by doing things you like. Eat well and take care of your body. Say nice things to yourself. Compliment and praise yourself, just as you would a friend, family member, or lover. Encourage yourself when you're feeling down.
And most importantly, say the words that we all long to hear. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I love you." This can be difficult, but it's a powerful tool in acceptance and self love. It may not be easy, you may feel foolish at first, but you can do it. Even if you don't feel it right away, keep doing it. Love yourself first and you will be able to truly love others and to be truly loved in return. -
hey thanks, nice read.....i will follow it closely
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Patience and forgiveness made a huge difference for me. When I got better at forgiveness, I got better at loving myself and others. This was hard because at the time I thought I was pretty damn perfect. The idea that I would need to forgive myself for something was more an intellectual conversation about probablility than a humble belief. I started from a humanist psychology approach with the concept of unconditional positive regard. This is the belief that--no matter how poorly someone is behaving--they are acting in the best, most effective way they can manage in the moment and as such deserve empathy, compassion and love. It doesn't mean you condone or put up with bad behavior, but your responses to it come from love and kindness instead of fear and retaliation. Starting with yourself, in my opinion, makes it easier to extend this kindness to others. In fact it may be impossible to extend to others if you don't also believe it about yourself.
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1. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
2. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you
really loved.
3. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.
4. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
5. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
6. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.
7. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in. -
Do you extend as much kindness to yourself, as you do to others?
Do you love yourself?
Take a few moments. Ponder these questions carefully and soulfully.
Don't know where to begin?
Let me provide the "Circle of Love" road map, so you can recognize the road signs on your path to love.
It all starts with you. You are the center of your "Circle of Love".
Finding the right person with whom to share your life is not the first focus of loving. The primary focus is how you live your daily life: it's developing your capacity for loving yourself, so that you may better love those around you. It all centers on you. On a daily basis, increase the love you give to yourself. Be kind and loving to you. Start doing things for you. This is not being selfish: this is an act of self-love. You will be amazed how your new attitude towards giving and receiving love returns to you.
Love extended to others in a healthy way is like the knowledge that a teacher shares with his or her students. At the end of the class, the teacher retains the knowledge and the students have gained the knowledge. Love is like the teacher's knowledge in that it should be shared, not given away at one's own expense. The more you share love, the more love you will gain.
There is a world of difference between the person who possesses self-love and the person who does not. The former is truly giving in sharing love with others, whereas the latter is not. It all starts with loving yourself: this will allow you to give a more enriched love to others. Once you reach this point, your Circle of Love will expand.
Within an expanded Circle of Love, you will be able to extend, attract, and recognize committed love. Once you have the committed love you seek, you can rise to new levels of love in your life. Love's Journey is an endless road, and your Loves' Circle just keeps getting bigger. -
Please tell me how to i forgive myself for falling in love with almost any girl i met? I hate myself for falling in love so readily. I hate myself for my outlook, but i dun blame my parents. I hate myself to the extent that i numb my feeling for girls with sad song. I hate everything except my loved one, sgforums and some of my true friends...Originally posted by Isis:1. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
2. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you
really loved.
3. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.
4. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
5. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
6. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.
7. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in. -
*Clap clap clap*
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wrong forum lol
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Perhaps its not love but infatuation? Its the interest you develope in the girl that misleads you into thinking that is love. try supressing those thoughts and treat them like ordinary friends instead...Know that somewhere out there somewhere someone is waiting for your true love.Originally posted by Uncertain:Please tell me how to i forgive myself for falling in love with almost any girl i met? I hate myself for falling in love so readily. I hate myself for my outlook, but i dun blame my parents. I hate myself to the extent that i numb my feeling for girls with sad song. I hate everything except my loved one, sgforums and some of my true friends...
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Thanks for the advice but my heart is made of flesh afterall but i will rehold all my feeling with all my might. hope what u said came true one dayOriginally posted by rain-coat:Perhaps its not love but infatuation? Its the interest you develope in the girl that misleads you into thinking that is love. try supressing those thoughts and treat them like ordinary friends instead...Know that somewhere out there somewhere someone is waiting for your true love. 
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How about not having unrealistic expectation about being with this girl ?Originally posted by Uncertain:Please tell me how to i forgive myself for falling in love with almost any girl i met? I hate myself for falling in love so readily. I hate myself for my outlook, but i dun blame my parents. I hate myself to the extent that i numb my feeling for girls with sad song. I hate everything except my loved one, sgforums and some of my true friends...
I'm not really sure by what you mean by falling in love with almost any girl you meet. Let say you have a girlfriend already and it is possible for you to fall in love with another girl then?
Love is more of loving someone and being loved back. Love also has its up and down to make it complete. This is love in BGR sense.. i think.. -
I fall in love readily may be attributed to the fact that i am yielding badly for one as i nv have one before. However, i find this yielding so undesirable and that explains y i hate myself.Originally posted by Isis:How about not having unrealistic expectation about being with this girl ?
I'm not really sure by what you mean by falling in love with almost any girl you meet. Let say you have a girlfriend already and it is possible for you to fall in love with another girl then?
Love is more of loving someone and being loved back. Love also has its up and down to make it complete. This is love in BGR sense.. i think..
People call this:" despo, horny... whatever" When a girl treats me nicely, i always have this thought that i am having a chance. I know this is, in fact, no true at all. Therefore, i hate myself for being so despo but this sounds rather unpleasant and that's y i modified it as above.
i totally agree with u on this:" Love is more of loving someone and being loved back" But how to i know whether she is my destined one? What if i nv get to meet her, how am i going to console myself and to explain to my mum that i cannot find one in the coming future?
These questions are unanswerable, that's also y i nv want to think about such questions. I am in a closure to ensure myself to be safe. I know u will say escapism won't solve problems but this is the only way to prevent myself from making further mistakes of scaring away my female friends. I won't risk a friendship for a r/s. My faith for r/s is draining and i seek to refill it by having one but then i am caught in a dilemma again (friendship vs r/s) and with all my bad past experiences, the only option left on the shelf is just friendship. To ensure, i don't go back; i listen to sad song to make myself as depressed as possible so that i won't have silly thought. 
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hmmm........
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Haha dont worry its normal to feel this way. I know how you feel cos i experienced them before. Although im still single i try to indulge myself in friendship rather than BGR. for me its quite easy as im in scouts and it is really where i meet real buddies. try sharing your problems more often then we can all talk about it and im sure you will feel better...Originally posted by Uncertain:I fall in love readily may be attributed to the fact that i am yielding badly for one as i nv have one before. However, i find this yielding so undesirable and that explains y i hate myself.
People call this:" despo, horny... whatever" When a girl treats me nicely, i always have this thought that i am having a chance. I know this is, in fact, no true at all. Therefore, i hate myself for being so despo but this sounds rather unpleasant and that's y i modified it as above.
i totally agree with u on this:" Love is more of loving someone and being loved back" But how to i know whether she is my destined one? What if i nv get to meet her, how am i going to console myself and to explain to my mum that i cannot find one in the coming future?
These questions are unanswerable, that's also y i nv want to think about such questions. I am in a closure to ensure myself to be safe. I know u will say escapism won't solve problems but this is the only way to prevent myself from making further mistakes of scaring away my female friends. I won't risk a friendship for a r/s. My faith for r/s is draining and i seek to refill it by having one but then i am caught in a dilemma again (friendship vs r/s) and with all my bad past experiences, the only option left on the shelf is just friendship. To ensure, i don't go back; i listen to sad song to make myself as depressed as possible so that i won't have silly thought. -
Thanks! Perhaps i am now taking the path that u once took. Anyway, i will attain ur mentality one day and be a better person..Originally posted by rain-coat:Haha dont worry its normal to feel this way. I know how you feel cos i experienced them before. Although im still single i try to indulge myself in friendship rather than BGR. for me its quite easy as im in scouts and it is really where i meet real buddies. try sharing your problems more often then we can all talk about it and im sure you will feel better...