My story
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jojo jie, ever the romantic. nice metaphor.Originally posted by jojobeach:[quote]
Dear Crimson Soldier,
Women's need to nurture is part of her nature.
When a woman see a wounded man, she sees a little wounded bird.
Instinctively, she will want to bring it home, care for it, and heal it's wounded wings, before telling the bird " Fly little bird, you are well enough now."
That is when a woman feel gratified when the bird flaps it wings and fly towards the endless sky.
If you ask her, " why wouldn't you keep it in a cage for a pet ?"
Her reply will be, " That was never my intention in the first place."
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Wow...so many points of view
Think I will push her *a bit* for an answer first, and see how. then again I already tell her she is important to me, she is dear to me, blah; no adverse reaction from her
if I go to the next level and say "be my gf" I think I might scare her off again, but maybe that will be a closure I am looking for(?)
Although some of you may disagree and say that I am cheating myself, I believe that she didn't accept me two years ago because she wasn't ready, not because she thought I wasn't the "one". But now we are no longer teens, but adults! So perhaps she is emotionally ready? -
well i support ur decision.. but be mindful dun try to overdo things... otherwiseOriginally posted by crimson soldier:Wow...so many points of view
Think I will push her *a bit* for an answer first, and see how. then again I already tell her she is important to me, she is dear to me, blah; no adverse reaction from her
if I go to the next level and say "be my gf" I think I might scare her off again, but maybe that will be a closure I am looking for(?)
Although some of you may disagree and say that I am cheating myself, I believe that she didn't accept me two years ago because she wasn't ready, not because she thought I wasn't the "one". But now we are no longer teens, but adults! So perhaps she is emotionally ready?
u might lose more than what 2yrs ago happen.... so hopefully she'll accept u and
we'll soon be able to drink ur wedding tea
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I've got a feeling you are going to be disappointed.Originally posted by crimson soldier:Wow...so many points of view
Think I will push her *a bit* for an answer first, and see how. then again I already tell her she is important to me, she is dear to me, blah; no adverse reaction from her
if I go to the next level and say "be my gf" I think I might scare her off again, but maybe that will be a closure I am looking for(?)
Although some of you may disagree and say that I am cheating myself, I believe that she didn't accept me two years ago because she wasn't ready, not because she thought I wasn't the "one". But now we are no longer teens, but adults! So perhaps she is emotionally ready?
But, if you never try, you'd never know.
Good luck bro. Come back and tell us your triumphant venture, and I will pop a champagne for you. -
Hi crimson soldier,
While I agree with most of the previous posts on your need to come out of your "forever forlorn admirer" mentality and take charge of things, I suggest that you not push the issue too much.
Guys are usually goal-oriented, and cannot live with fuzziness, especially when it comes to BGR. But like nehpyh said, just go ahead with a positive and humble attitude towards her, and I wouldn't be surprised if things improve from there.
Your analysis of her feeling uncertain may be right, and while you have "shut the door" 2 years ago while she's not quite ready, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. You have relieved the pressure off her, and it reflects well on you. And that explains her courage to show concern for you because she trusts you to be a sensible guy who can take "no" for an answer and is sensitive to her feelings.
Unlike jojobeach though, I believe your ending will be good. -
You can bring in the topic gradually and when the timing is right.Originally posted by crimson soldier:Wow...so many points of view
Think I will push her *a bit* for an answer first, and see how. then again I already tell her she is important to me, she is dear to me, blah; no adverse reaction from her
if I go to the next level and say "be my gf" I think I might scare her off again, but maybe that will be a closure I am looking for(?)
Although some of you may disagree and say that I am cheating myself, I believe that she didn't accept me two years ago because she wasn't ready, not because she thought I wasn't the "one". But now we are no longer teens, but adults! So perhaps she is emotionally ready?
How she felt about you 2 years ago.
How she felt about you now.
There will always be conflicting views but if you think about it, there's really nothing for you to lose and everything to gain.
If she says yes, buy yourself a beer and buy 4D.
If she says no, at least you can now truly convince yourself that there is nothing in the first place and there is no point dwelling anymore.
Like i said, you will be much more focused in your recovery.
So I'd say yes...talk to her. -
oh man i resemble u. cept that the time is reduced alot.
i think, a new target would be best. if not like me lo, try try and try again..
fail liao go get emo. XD -
In ANY case, a person who finds someone to love just for the sake of, well, loving someone; wouldn't find happiness easily, right? Much less my case, that's what I think lah.Originally posted by r0mE_27:oh man i resemble u. cept that the time is reduced alot.
i think, a new target would be best. if not like me lo, try try and try again..
fail liao go get emo. XD
I used to think "try try and try" when I was younger but it doesn't work the way!
So just let fate decide
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My ending will be good, but will it be with her? I do know her ending will be good too, and I truly hope so regardless of me.Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:Hi crimson soldier,
While I agree with most of the previous posts on your need to come out of your "forever forlorn admirer" mentality and take charge of things, I suggest that you not push the issue too much.
Guys are usually goal-oriented, and cannot live with fuzziness, especially when it comes to BGR. But like nehpyh said, just go ahead with a positive and humble attitude towards her, and I wouldn't be surprised if things improve from there.
Your analysis of her feeling uncertain may be right, and while you have "shut the door" 2 years ago while she's not quite ready, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. You have relieved the pressure off her, and it reflects well on you. And that explains her courage to show concern for you because she trusts you to be a sensible guy who can take "no" for an answer and is sensitive to her feelings.
Unlike jojobeach though, I believe your ending will be good.
Anyway she's out of the country atm so I have much time to think... -
she said yes! Loved her for 2.5years, waited for her 1.5 years and who said dreams don't come true?
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Ya, when u got it, it is like dream come true, but it only the begining ya, becareful, later got problem, you might realise it is a bad dream come true.Originally posted by crimson soldier:she said yes! Loved her for 2.5years, waited for her 1.5 years and who said dreams don't come true?
So, walk you love life with caution, cherish it, treasure it, but dun ever stuck cling so tight on it, love is just an emotion that ecompass hate, sad, happy, nice, angry and at time crazy feeling. Occasionally, remember stand out of your love and look from a different perspective just to check the progress ya.
Love with eyes open ya, not blind. -
congrats, now treat her wellOriginally posted by crimson soldier:she said yes! Loved her for 2.5years, waited for her 1.5 years and who said dreams don't come true?
everytime you find yourself starting to take her for granted, remember how hard it was to be with her in the first place
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was about to post in aunt agony to ask why she blows hot and cold even though it is a new relationship
then I made a wiser choice and asked her instead...and now I understand -
So what did you find out ?Originally posted by crimson soldier:was about to post in aunt agony to ask why she blows hot and cold even though it is a new relationship
then I made a wiser choice and asked her instead...and now I understand -
ALL THE BEST! JIAYOU!
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Personal stuff I guess, mostly why she has become more quiet in the time we had little contact. haha but I think it's the first step to working it outOriginally posted by jojobeach:So what did you find out ? -
hahaha... I guess the best treatment to TS agony are her words...
Aunt Agony r only for people who r busybody like me...
><
Gratz TS... Treasure her well... Avoid Agony... it is bad for relationship... it confuses people n may be misleading sometimes... -
congrats ts.u are indeed a very patient and faithfully lucky chap.U deserve it.
While me,like u ...still waiting.Hope mine will come true one day.Not too long i hope. -
congrats !
u waited long enough. treat her good forever =)
dun ever take her for granted! -
I'm glad you talked to her.Originally posted by crimson soldier:was about to post in aunt agony to ask why she blows hot and cold even though it is a new relationship
then I made a wiser choice and asked her instead...and now I understand
Now we have a new list of potential problems.
Whatever I say here is not meant to dampen your spirits.
It is to help you protect yourself.
She is blowing hot and cold in this new relationship.
Asking her for the reason is not a wise choice.
Asking anyone in this forum is equally silly.
The solution is simple.
Do not ask!
The first sign of a man messing things up in a relationship is when he thinks to himself,
"I don't want to mess things up!"
The problem I foresee is that you are always planning your next move, so you will never let up and enjoy yourself.
Communication is essential.
But conversation has to be spontaneous.
Show her your world and casually invite her in.
When you probe too much too early, everything tighten up.
I know how eager you are to show that you care for this lost and found relationship.
If her interest in you is based on a logical evaluation of her opinions, you would have scored a 8 or 9 out of 10.
But it is not.
Good luck. -
You hit the nail, curiousorange.
Thanks for the advice -
