i feel im dull toward this girl i like
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Just have change your mentality, don't be so cowardly or so concerned about her. If you can get past this stage, You can almost crap about anything with her.
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X 2 CheersOriginally posted by Agenda:Just have change your mentality, don't be so cowardly or so concerned about her. If you can get past this stage, You can almost crap about anything with her.
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You dun hv to make a gal laugh, u dun hv to feel remorse about unable to start initiate a topic when there is nothing to talk about. If u are sincere, love her truly by your heart, trust within and care for her, she will love you dearly and forever.
In actual fact, we gals do not need much laugh, perhap only in the initiate courting stage. Once we find the guy is truly sincere and love us by his heart thru his action, words are nothing to Love.
Having said that, if the gal is after money or fame, that is another story. But a good gal like me will treasure a good boy and shower him with love too
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hope she is like this too...sigh....Originally posted by angel7030:You dun hv to make a gal laugh, u dun hv to feel remorse about unable to start initiate a topic when there is nothing to talk about. If u are sincere, love her truly by your heart, trust within and care for her, she will love you dearly and forever.
In actual fact, we gals do not need much laugh, perhap only in the initiate courting stage. Once we find the guy is truly sincere and love us by his heart thru his action, words are nothing to Love.
Having said that, if the gal is after money or fame, that is another story. But a good gal like me will treasure a good boy and shower him with love too . -
Aiya.Dun worry.Be urself.n she will fall for u.yes.thats v imptt.when chat.anyth in mind just say out.she might enjoy it n laugh out loud.so dun worry.for me oso sth like that.always v silence.bt my gal say its ok.just be myself.and things will be fine de.trust me.
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haha okay thanks everyone for ur help! so basically its confidence and really just showing ur affection to her in return for hers. =)
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TS,actually i'm in the same situation as u,i like a gal who is older den mi den 1 yr,we went thailand together for community services to help those poor kids,i found out she's kind n caring type,we chat alot,sms alot,but wad i'm nt sure is whether do she haf any feel towards mi,if i suddenly propose to her tat i like her,if i'm rejected,i'm afraid we would nt the as close as b4..tis is the part where i'm worry abtOriginally posted by Allen.Iverson:i like this girl who is older than me by a year. been goin out with her and i like her. shes interested in me as well. but we always run out of things to talk about and there will always be awkward moments of silence.
furthermore, i feel that i lack the ability to make her laugh alot. girls like guys who can make them laugh but i cant make her do so often. how can i not appear to be so dull towards her?
pls dont tell me that its who i am and i shouldnt change the way i am cos i believe that it is a personality trait that can be improved upon and is highly beneficial.
need help!! please!!
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That's what I fear most.Originally posted by acerchan2002:TS,actually i'm in the same situation as u,i like a gal who is older den mi den 1 yr,we went thailand together for community services to help those poor kids,i found out she's kind n caring type,we chat alot,sms alot,but wad i'm nt sure is whether do she haf any feel towards mi,if i suddenly propose to her tat i like her,
if i'm rejected,i'm afraid we would nt the as close as b4..tis is the part where i'm worry abt -
any pros here to help mi?
mi newbie,muz learn from laojiao -
Allen.Iverson hope u dun mind tat i use ur thread,sorri
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TALK TO HER ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS
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Look, if you found out you were terminally ill and living on borrowed time, you'd probably be a hell lot more courageous than you are now and live your life with a greater purpose to pursue the things you want. If you subscribed to the notion that you only live once and should make the most of your opportunities, you probably can't - and won't - imagine you'd actually live a life of fear. Address that and the other side issues will take care of themselves...Originally posted by acerchan2002:TS,actually i'm in the same situation as u,i like a gal who is older den mi den 1 yr,we went thailand together for community services to help those poor kids,i found out she's kind n caring type,we chat alot,sms alot,but wad i'm nt sure is whether do she haf any feel towards mi,if i suddenly propose to her tat i like her,if i'm rejected,i'm afraid we would nt the as close as b4..tis is the part where i'm worry abt 
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It does not matter on what your hobbies or interests are, seriously.Originally posted by Allen.Iverson:thanks alot for ur help! ok i shall state here how i usually spend my time.
i read widely
i play the guitar
i hang out with different groups of friends alot. however im somehow still not a very good conversationist. but is it because we all hardly share common interests?
i use the internet
i visit the gym regularly
i practice karate and play basketball
but i hardly watch tv though..
so basically i do quite alot of stuff on my own. but i go out with friends alot. are there any recommendations on other activities i can do that would help??
It definitely has something to do with my confidence level and the fact that she is my first. i havent been close to girls before so i dont know what to do! it seems very natural for my other friends to talk to so many girls easily. girls try to know me but sometimes it appears that after awhile they kinda get bored?
=(
Making interesting conversations is an art.
I used to think that different age will have problems in communications at first too, in the past. And running out of topics is normal.
But seriously, I tell you, that is rubbish.
But well, age does matters from other point of view if you are talking about relationship that's gonna last. Last as in getting married and not those "waa! Me and my stead 8yrs relationship! last for very long leh!~"
Whatever 'type' of girl she is, does not matter.
Unless you are saying that she thinks that you are a turn-off or she is rude bitch.
But if that is the case, you would not be together with her in the first place.
It is like seriously, are you even interested about her life at all?
Do you even ask, "Oh, how's your day?" OR maybe you did, but are you asking for the sake of asking?
"Oh, I came from school. Then come meet you already lor."
"Oh, okay."
So that is all? oh, okay. finish. end. no more. Like that?
No right?
You are interested to know more about her right?
Then ask! Eventually you will come to something that she is interested in talking about!
For example, if that example above is what she replied, I will already have a lot in mind of what to say already.
Eg.1
So, how you come here from school ar? Bus? Train? Cab?
So what bus number? Oh, from your school to here how many stops ar?
A lot of people in the bus? Oh, I see..
So... you eat already or not? Yes, No, 1/2 full?
Yes, but I'm very very hungry. Follow me go eat first. I want to eat burger king. Gonna order a double swiss meal, up size, change fries to onion rings, add a pie.
She: "Waa! Eat so much?"
Ya lor. I very hungry leh. Whole day haven't eat. Actually, just the meal can already. But recently got craving for the pie... so... haha... Sure you don't want to eat?
I share some with you la!
Eg.2
So, what's the lessons for the day?
A.Maths, so what topics are you covering today? Oh, is it hard?
So, what is it about actually?
She: "I tell you, you also don't know..." (standard topic killer)
If you tell me, I might know, or might not know.
If you don't, I'll never know.
*important part: You want you're boyfriend to be a sua ku meh? No right?
Hmm... I see... Though I don't know what it is, but it sounds really tough.
How are coping with it anyway?
She: "Okay lor..." (standard topic killer)
Okay as in? Can do? Cannot do? Question come out for from topic sure can answer and get a 6/10 for that question?
It is like seriously, I can even give you example 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
But that will be pointless.
It have to come from you yourself, from your character.
You just have to go through the conversations until you hit her interest.
You will know that it is when she speak a few more words on that topic.
When that happens, just elaborate more from that topic.
Just like playing guitar, when you find out what that scale is, for example Am.
You can play it with Am pentatonic scale or Am diatonic scale, add some Am blues scales, chromatic notes, play in shapes, triads, arpp, just improvise!
Same thing over here.
But please be natural. Do not stamma. Do not be lame.
Watch your body language also. Like where you hands should be when you speak. Open your palms and not behind your back or in your pockets.
Your eyes, do not wander around when you are talking to her.
Look at her, but not to the extend of where you stare at her like you are gonna eat her.
Well unless, you really are going to *eat her... hmm... yeah... then at that time please do stare.
Crack jokes that are really funny. Or else, please don't. Not at all.
I am sure would rather be known as someone boring then a farking lamer.
You do not need jokes to be funny.
You said you read widely right?
Then, go look for books.
Read not only on how to communicate, but read to understand girls too.
Women are creatures that needs attention, care, corncern, love... bla bla~...
Yes, those are common sense! But that is not all!
If that is all you know, you will most probably get ditch.
They need attention yes... BUT the "right" kind of attention!
They need care yes... BUT from the person they want care from only!
They need concern yes... BUT from at the right time only!
And yes, they feel plesure too.
Males are human, Females are human.
You have sex organs, they have sex organs.
You will feel horny, they will feel horny too.
Organs that allows them to feel sexually arouse when stimulated.
They are given the organs for a purpose, it is not there for show.
But please use a condom if you do intend to try anything funny.
I am telling you this not to encourage you to have sex with her.
There are times where you need to know.
If that time doesn't come, then this section would probably not mean anything to you.
Remember this, practice makes perfect.
Don't give up just because you failed.
Know the reasons why you failed.
And don't continue on the "things" that cause you to fail after you've failed. -
okay thanks alot for ur help i really really appreciate it! its quite useful i shall try =)Originally posted by iori8888:It does not matter on what your hobbies or interests are, seriously.
Making interesting conversations is an art.
I used to think that different age will have problems in communications at first too, in the past. And running out of topics is normal.
But seriously, I tell you, that is rubbish.
But well, age does matters from other point of view if you are talking about relationship that's gonna last. Last as in getting married and not those "waa! Me and my stead 8yrs relationship! last for very long leh!~"
Whatever 'type' of girl she is, does not matter.
Unless you are saying that she thinks that you are a turn-off or she is rude bitch.
But if that is the case, you would not be together with her in the first place.
It is like seriously, are you even interested about her life at all?
Do you even ask, "Oh, how's your day?" OR maybe you did, but are you asking for the sake of asking?
"Oh, I came from school. Then come meet you already lor."
"Oh, okay."
So that is all? oh, okay. finish. end. no more. Like that?
No right?
You are interested to know more about her right?
Then ask! Eventually you will come to something that she is interested in talking about!
For example, if that example above is what she replied, I will already have a lot in mind of what to say already.
Eg.1
So, how you come here from school ar? Bus? Train? Cab?
So what bus number? Oh, from your school to here how many stops ar?
A lot of people in the bus? Oh, I see..
So... you eat already or not? Yes, No, 1/2 full?
Yes, but I'm very very hungry. Follow me go eat first. I want to eat burger king. Gonna order a double swiss meal, up size, change fries to onion rings, add a pie.
She: "Waa! Eat so much?"
Ya lor. I very hungry leh. Whole day haven't eat. Actually, just the meal can already. But recently got craving for the pie... so... haha... Sure you don't want to eat?
I share some with you la!
Eg.2
So, what's the lessons for the day?
A.Maths, so what topics are you covering today? Oh, is it hard?
So, what is it about actually?
She: "I tell you, you also don't know..." (standard topic killer)
If you tell me, I might know, or might not know.
If you don't, I'll never know.
*important part: You want you're boyfriend to be a sua ku meh? No right?
Hmm... I see... Though I don't know what it is, but it sounds really tough.
How are coping with it anyway?
She: "Okay lor..." (standard topic killer)
Okay as in? Can do? Cannot do? Question come out for from topic sure can answer and get a 6/10 for that question?
It is like seriously, I can even give you example 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
But that will be pointless.
It have to come from you yourself, from your character.
You just have to go through the conversations until you hit her interest.
You will know that it is when she speak a few more words on that topic.
When that happens, just elaborate more from that topic.
Just like playing guitar, when you find out what that scale is, for example Am.
You can play it with Am pentatonic scale or Am diatonic scale, add some Am blues scales, chromatic notes, play in shapes, triads, arpp, just improvise!
Same thing over here.
But please be natural. Do not stamma. Do not be lame.
Watch your body language also. Like where you hands should be when you speak. Open your palms and not behind your back or in your pockets.
Your eyes, do not wander around when you are talking to her.
Look at her, but not to the extend of where you stare at her like you are gonna eat her.
Well unless, you really are going to *eat her... hmm... yeah... then at that time please do stare.
Crack jokes that are really funny. Or else, please don't. Not at all.
I am sure would rather be known as someone boring then a farking lamer.
You do not need jokes to be funny.
You said you read widely right?
Then, go look for books.
Read not only on how to communicate, but read to understand girls too.
Women are creatures that needs attention, care, corncern, love... bla bla~...
Yes, those are common sense! But that is not all!
If that is all you know, you will most probably get ditch.
They need attention yes... BUT the "right" kind of attention!
They need care yes... BUT from the person they want care from only!
They need concern yes... BUT from at the right time only!
And yes, they feel plesure too.
Males are human, Females are human.
You have sex organs, they have sex organs.
You will feel horny, they will feel horny too.
Organs that allows them to feel sexually arouse when stimulated.
They are given the organs for a purpose, it is not there for show.
But please use a condom if you do intend to try anything funny.
I am telling you this not to encourage you to have sex with her.
There are times where you need to know.
If that time doesn't come, then this section would probably not mean anything to you.
Remember this, practice makes perfect.
Don't give up just because you failed.
Know the reasons why you failed.
And don't continue on the "things" that cause you to fail after you've failed.
but one thing about the conversation part u gave some examples..it seems as though i keep probing her on and on about a topic which she seems not to have interest in.. should i? -
no problems =)Originally posted by acerchan2002:Allen.Iverson hope u dun mind tat i use ur thread,sorri -
That's why I say, be natural.Originally posted by Allen.Iverson:okay thanks alot for ur help i really really appreciate it! its quite useful i shall try =)
but one thing about the conversation part u gave some examples..it seems as though i keep probing her on and on about a topic which she seems not to have interest in.. should i?
And don't ask for the sake of asking or for the sake of making conversation.
Don't sound like you are memorizing from a book or something.
It's not like you should just come out "topics" randomly you know?
Make it logical, like it's normal to ask such questions.
For example the bus thing, asking how she come, how many stops, what bus number... so that next time if you are travelling there, you know how and what is the bus route. Or even what buses does her school's bus stop have.
It's nothing even about if she's interested in the topic or not. There isn't a topic there in the first place. You're just asking a question. -
Brother, the art of conversation is from the root. And the root is... You have to be interested to talk. You have to be interested about everything. You WANT to know things. That's why you talk.
You don't talk to impress. You talk to learn.
And when you learn, you share. That's pretty much how conversation goes about.
Now humor, is much too complex for me to explain. I don't have much problem making people laugh. The key factor here is to let loose. Don't bother about what people will think of what you say. Make yourself look silly! Say silly stuffs! And somehow, it will all work out.
Half the time, people give me that look where they wish they can kill you for saying something THAT stupid. But it doesn't affect me. -
What he said.Originally posted by DrTech:Brother, the art of conversation is from the root. And the root is... You have to be interested to talk. You have to be interested about everything. You WANT to know things. That's why you talk.
You don't talk to impress. You talk to learn.
And when you learn, you share. That's pretty much how conversation goes about.
Now humor, is much too complex for me to explain. I don't have much problem making people laugh. The key factor here is to let loose. Don't bother about what people will think of what you say. Make yourself look silly! Say silly stuffs! And somehow, it will all work out.
Half the time, people give me that look where they wish they can kill you for saying something THAT stupid. But it doesn't affect me.