Call it off then regret..
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Recently I called off my BGR again by making my guy angry and he stormed off. After that, i felt regretful and realized that I still love him. I already expressed my thoughts and he told me that he was hurt when we quarrelled. However, he didnt come back to me after that. I sms him that I know he doesn't love me anymore as he does not tell me much things now. He explained that it wasn't like that.
Now I am in a dilemma. How can I know if this guy still love me? -
wat u meant by
'he explained that it wasnt like that'? -
any details on what the quarrel was about? was it regarding your relationship or something else?Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:Recently I called off my BGR again by making my guy angry and he stormed off. After that, i felt regretful and realized that I still love him. I already expressed my thoughts and he told me that he was hurt when we quarrelled. However, he didnt come back to me after that. I sms him that I know he doesn't love me anymore as he does not tell me much things now. He explained that it wasn't like that.
Now I am in a dilemma. How can I know if this guy still love me?
details pls!
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NO detail, NO help.
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My exposure is more than him. Our greatest difference is I have more experience in life as i went overseas and live on my own for 2 yrs. He has not travelled much in his life. Both of our circle of friends are different. My friends talks more about reality in life, whereas his friends talks more about leisure. I have no problem blending to his circle, but not the other way round.
He cares a lot for me and would do almost anything for me. On the other hand, I didnt make him feel importance in many ways. Apart from being compatible in interest, lifestyle, our thinking differs a lot. Maybe it is the prioritizing. He put me as first, but he feels i put him as 2nd. The problems come and cause the drift.
After we separated, I started to miss him and even revealed my thoughts for him. However, he seems to take a step back now. He doesnt want to tell me anything now. -
meet him and talk abt ur problems....both of ur problems
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You and him , not compatible.Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:My exposure is more than him. Our greatest difference is I have more experience in life as i went overseas and live on my own for 2 yrs. He has not travelled much in his life. Both of our circle of friends are different. My friends talks more about reality in life, whereas his friends talks more about leisure. I have no problem blending to his circle, but not the other way round.
He cares a lot for me and would do almost anything for me. On the other hand, I didnt make him feel importance in many ways. Apart from being compatible in interest, lifestyle, our thinking differs a lot. Maybe it is the prioritizing. He put me as first, but he feels i put him as 2nd. The problems come and cause the drift.
After we separated, I started to miss him and even revealed my thoughts for him. However, he seems to take a step back now. He doesnt want to tell me anything now.
Unless you can always pretend to be someone of his level.
You will always have a hard time with this relationship.
Think about it, is this what you want ? Forever? -
...even if he still loves you does not mean that he wants to be in a relationship with you....Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:Recently I called off my BGR again by making my guy angry and he stormed off. After that, i felt regretful and realized that I still love him. I already expressed my thoughts and he told me that he was hurt when we quarrelled. However, he didnt come back to me after that. I sms him that I know he doesn't love me anymore as he does not tell me much things now. He explained that it wasn't like that.
Now I am in a dilemma. How can I know if this guy still love me? -
Live oversea doesn't mean u r expert in love, base on the way u handle yr ex-bf it is yr fualt. U think RBG is a game?
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huh? Did she say it made her an expert in love?Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:Live oversea doesn't mean u r expert in love, base not the way u handle yr ex-bf it is yr fualt. U think RBG is a game?Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:My exposure is more than him. Our greatest difference is I have more experience in life as i went overseas and live on my own for 2 yrs. -
why focus on the differences when you can focus on the similarities?
I believe differences spice up a relationship and you can complement each other in many ways.
A person who never lived overseas doesn't need to be lacking. He may possess knowledge and skills and a perspective that you don't. And this perspective that he has about life - even if it is leisure - doesn't make him shallow. life isn't always about deep conversations - it is about leading it well.
but if you feel that his 'difference' makes him in anyway LESS than who you deserve, then it is better for you to assess your own priorities and values. Afterall, you can't live with someone who does not believe in the same fundamental values as you. What do you think is the most important?
how do you know if he loves you? Do you deserve his love for feeling he and his friends are 'shallow'? Don't say you miss him simply because you miss his loving ways. Will you judge him again if he returns to you?
--------this part don't really need to read, just sharing - -------------------------
i've lived overseas for 3 years but my hubby havent. I love reading, and discussing books and news with friends - but he doesn't fit in that well when I meet up my friends like that.
But we have our common friends that we enjoy life together with. Most of all, i respect his knowledge of gardening, of cooking, of taking care of animals, of picking durians (my hubby kampung boy) and that's where I know that for all my 'exposure', are things I am hopelessly lacking.
Do i feel that he is less of an 'intellectual' because he doesn't have 'chim conversations'? I don't think so, and having lived with him, I realise that sometimes poetry and living life doesn't have to be in spoken words, but in a person appreciation of life and in his actions. -
No need to mention, immature is the word. I noe of gal treat guy like dat, nothing new just that they thought they r smart. Infact they r insecure and lack of confidence or maybe too confidence.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:huh? Did she say it made her an expert in love? -
U dumped him? that's it. Smart gals dun take back dumped guy ya. It will lower our gal reputation.Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:Recently I called off my BGR again by making my guy angry and he stormed off. After that, i felt regretful and realized that I still love him. I already expressed my thoughts and he told me that he was hurt when we quarrelled. However, he didnt come back to me after that. I sms him that I know he doesn't love me anymore as he does not tell me much things now. He explained that it wasn't like that.
Now I am in a dilemma. How can I know if this guy still love me? -
thank you for your advice. Think this is what that is drilled in my thoughts all these while. He has his skill sets and plus points, which I did not take into consideration. I believe he is someone who will be there for me always. I should have reciprocate by motivating him to aim for a better future. Earlier on, I was easily influenced by what my friends commented abt my relationship with him.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:why focus on the differences when you can focus on the similarities?
I believe differences spice up a relationship and you can complement each other in many ways.
A person who never lived overseas doesn't need to be lacking. He may possess knowledge and skills and a perspective that you don't. And this perspective that he has about life - even if it is leisure - doesn't make him shallow. life isn't always about deep conversations - it is about leading it well.
but if you feel that his 'difference' makes him in anyway LESS than who you deserve, then it is better for you to assess your own priorities and values. Afterall, you can't live with someone who does not believe in the same fundamental values as you. What do you think is the most important?
how do you know if he loves you? Do you deserve his love for feeling he and his friends are 'shallow'? Don't say you miss him simply because you miss his loving ways. Will you judge him again if he returns to you?
--------this part don't really need to read, just sharing - -------------------------
i've lived overseas for 3 years but my hubby havent. I love reading, and discussing books and news with friends - but he doesn't fit in that well when I meet up my friends like that.
But we have our common friends that we enjoy life together with. Most of all, i respect his knowledge of gardening, of cooking, of taking care of animals, of picking durians (my hubby kampung boy) and that's where I know that for all my 'exposure', are things I am hopelessly lacking.
Do i feel that he is less of an 'intellectual' because he doesn't have 'chim conversations'? I don't think so, and having lived with him, I realise that sometimes poetry and living life doesn't have to be in spoken words, but in a person appreciation of life and in his actions.
But how can i talk to him now? -
Question: What if he doesn't WANT to have a better future? He enjoys life and isn't ambitious? Regardless of how much you motivate him? Can you accept it? Be honest with yourself - i am assuming you are expecting a long term relationship.Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:thank you for your advice. Think this is what that is drilled in my thoughts all these while. He has his skill sets and plus points, which I did not take into consideration. I believe he is someone who will be there for me always. I should have reciprocate by motivating him to aim for a better future. Earlier on, I was easily influenced by what my friends commented abt my relationship with him.
But how can i talk to him now?
I guess the first step you have got to take is to eat the humble pie and tell him how you feel honestly. If he doesn't want to meet you, write him a letter. Ultimately, you can't force him to reciprocate. You can't ASK him to love you , again, - you can only try your best to be someone he can love.
And after that, give him time to think. You can't force him either - he needs to have his own reasons for wanting to continue the relationship willingly. And if he can't find it - well... you can only accept it with grace.
Sometimes that might be for the better. -
i just have this hunch, you are making your guy very very tired. mentally. like you don't seem to understand him inside out. maybe you can try standing at his point of view. it helps i believe.
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once a guy stops talking.......its the end
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personally , i dun think that exposure is much of a problem...
the biggest problem here is communciation and the girl think that the guy is "shallow". In what way, u think that he is shallow, if he chat with you all the deep conversation, will u still think that he is shallow...
if you want to continous the relationship , pls find out the problem and try to solve it instead of critisize and point out each other faults...
if not, break up... easy solution..
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personally , i dun think that exposure is much of a problem...
the biggest problem here is communciation and the girl think that the guy is "shallow". In what way, u think that he is shallow, if he chat with you all the deep conversation, will u still think that he is shallow...
if you want to continous the relationship , pls find out the problem and try to solve it instead of critisize and point out each other faults...
if not, break up... easy solution.. -
g3t it 0v3r. u wan ur lif3 to stop right now ??
i think h3 gott any oth3r g@l alr3ady. s3riously n0 point continu3 , c0z h3 w0nt l0ve eu as wat he did pr3viously.
my situation is same as urs. My ex brok3 up for nth. Aft3r half a yr , sh3 remain3d singl3 sinc3 w3 brok3 up. now sh3 is still hoping f0r a patch.
she has onc3 hurt3d me badly , i didnt patch b3coz i kn3w i wont lov3 h3r as much as b4. The result will be still the same ev3n if we patch -
I suggest you take some time to think of what you want really, because compatibility in thoughts is important. If you prefer someone who has the similar backgroud, wave length as you, then I think you should spend some time to look for this someone instead of running back to someone whom you already know is less compatible with you.
The fact is, not all relationships will turn out well, the dating process is the discovery process to find out if there are love & compatibility. But do be brave to end relationship once you know it is not going anywhere.
I have friends who were blind to the problems in the relationships, didn't manage to work them out, nor want to acknowledge them. Finally they ended up divorce after short marriages. So lets not become another statistic. -
If you had decided to call it off...in the first place you should be prepared of the consequences...you cannot treat people as though they are your pawns...people have feelings too...getting him back now...he'll just make you feel 10 times worse of what you made him feel...
Kudos to you indecisive behavior...now you have to regret... -
now regret..so move on.. and dun make e same mistake(s) again
cheers -
I support your ex by not going back to you, cos you do not treasure guys like your ex who cares for you so much but in the end was betray by gals like you who thinks so highly of yourself.Originally posted by smurfsmiff21:My exposure is more than him. Our greatest difference is I have more experience in life as i went overseas and live on my own for 2 yrs. He has not travelled much in his life. Both of our circle of friends are different. My friends talks more about reality in life, whereas his friends talks more about leisure. I have no problem blending to his circle, but not the other way round.
He cares a lot for me and would do almost anything for me. On the other hand, I didnt make him feel importance in many ways. Apart from being compatible in interest, lifestyle, our thinking differs a lot. Maybe it is the prioritizing. He put me as first, but he feels i put him as 2nd. The problems come and cause the drift.
After we separated, I started to miss him and even revealed my thoughts for him. However, he seems to take a step back now. He doesnt want to tell me anything now.
Since you do not know the importanace of accepting the person as he is and chose to keep listerning to your friends. You do not deserve someone gd at all. Sick and tired of gals like you who treat good guys like trash and want to take them back when you feel like it.
I am waiting to see the day when the person who you care and love so much for dumps you as cos he thinks you are so low class.
People like you should feel the hurt and pain the good guys suffer in order to know how it is like.