This love-will it last?
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We got together about 5 years ago, she was sweet, gentle and innocent. I didnt really chase after her, we just got together, and we are really close, spending most of our times together.
As study years progressed she got quite competitive, and sometimes character changed abit. I became the one supporting her from the back, but sometimes its really hard and tiring to do so.
We have been through hard times together, but still loved each other even though we know that we are not really compatible.
Recently she went for overseas internship and said she found what she really want.
I meet a nice lady. We chatted alot and i found out that she has lots of similarities with me and i am comfortable with her company. Not sure of her feelings with me though, but we are good friends i guess. Much better den the current one
I dunno what lies ahead with me and current girlfriend but we really love each other alot. to Stay or to go? -
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She know that we hav no future, just a matter of when giving up
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hmmm? no future together?
u all need to sit down and talk.. -
we did....she know that she will not stay in sg...
and yes, she said we are not compatible -
talk abt future already?..Originally posted by tek_koh:we did....she know that she will not stay in sg...
and yes, she said we are not compatible
so wads the outcome? just decide now -
if both also feel no future.... why continue? dont waste anymore of each other's time liao loh
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you already already contemplating the other one, it's rather obvious the current one's over isn't it ? ...
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If you guys are still in school and you're still deeply in love with your girlfriend, then just stay for the moment and enjoy the moment for what it is worth. When you're young, lives are geared to random chance and sudden impulse and it should remain that way, at least until you get older.Originally posted by tek_koh:We got together about 5 years ago, she was sweet, gentle and innocent. I didnt really chase after her, we just got together, and we are really close, spending most of our times together.
As study years progressed she got quite competitive, and sometimes character changed abit. I became the one supporting her from the back, but sometimes its really hard and tiring to do so.
We have been through hard times together, but still loved each other even though we know that we are not really compatible.
Recently she went for overseas internship and said she found what she really want.
I meet a nice lady. We chatted alot and i found out that she has lots of similarities with me and i am comfortable with her company. Not sure of her feelings with me though, but we are good friends i guess. Much better den the current one
I dunno what lies ahead with me and current girlfriend but we really love each other alot. to Stay or to go?
IMHO, planning incessantly on tomorrows and delving way too deeply into the future takes the joy out of everything. Especially relationships.
Why value thoughts and promises instead of holding on to the here and now? -
i think it's very irresponsible..
dated for 5 years just to find each other not compatible..
if that's the case..
why spent 5 years together??
she could be engaged with other people and you might get engaged already..
sigh -
lots of people are like this wat
they remain in a relationship that is already in a comfort zone with no real push factor.. to go and no real pull factor to want to go
so like this.. very lukewarm for 5 years lo. -
Originally posted by tek_koh:We got together about 5 years ago, she was sweet, gentle and innocent. I didnt really chase after her, we just got together, and we are really close, spending most of our times together.
As study years progressed she got quite competitive, and sometimes character changed abit. I became the one supporting her from the back, but sometimes its really hard and tiring to do so.
We have been through hard times together, but still loved each other even though we know that we are not really compatible.
Recently she went for overseas internship and said she found what she really want.
I meet a nice lady. We chatted alot and i found out that she has lots of similarities with me and i am comfortable with her company. Not sure of her feelings with me though, but we are good friends i guess. Much better den the current one
I dunno what lies ahead with me and current girlfriend but we really love each other alot. to Stay or to go?
I believe it is more of a 'because-it's-5-years-relationship' that contributed largely to this great reluctance to drop the relationship. This relationship is probably akin to a drunken stupor, running on marginal consciousness despite experiencing little growth.
Your relationship is merely being pulled along by sheer force - the moment anyone of you stop pulling it, your Love will perish with immediate effect.
Already, as it seemed to me, there are signs of a mutual desire in wanting out, but is hindered apparently for some unspoken reason/s. You have found someone comfortable and she has found what she wants in life - then, shouldn't the both of you pursue what you two reckoned that could provide the happiness each of you seek?
Without growth in relationship, often, there's little to look forward in Love.
Time change & people change; therefore needs change. True Love might be a constant, but our needs change as our inner self develops. Love may stay, but needs change because our Self condition will not remain forever in the same state as it did five years ago.
Surely there are reasons why you two ended up together five years back, but when we spiritually and emotionally start to evolve subconsciously - what that began the same, might one day diverge and grow differently.
Because Love is truly not about looking at each other, but in one collective direction. The minute the relationship loses this vision, it loses its soul to function.
Perhaps you might want to discuss with her if there is a possibility of this shared vision and how you want your relationship to move in the future. If there isn't a common goal, then perhaps, it might be beneficial for the both of you to come to a mutual agreement to null this relationship and end this amicably.
Why delay the inevitable? Reminded me of a Chinese Proverb - liu zi wu yong, qi zi ke xi (Mundane to keep, but pity to throw).
You don't have many 'five years more' to consider - especially your girlfriend.
Cheers -
what about the still burning flame for each other.
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hm...
if u think that there is no future and are not suitable...
then dun waste any time together.. find other that are more suitable for you...
I think that love is when you know you cannot live without each other... u are supporting each other and loving the person for who they are and try to develop each other for the better...
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care to explain on tat? u mean the life or a guy? anyway shes jz temp overseas not 4ever... stick wif her la...Originally posted by tek_koh:We got together about 5 years ago, she was sweet, gentle and innocent. I didnt really chase after her, we just got together, and we are really close, spending most of our times together.
As study years progressed she got quite competitive, and sometimes character changed abit. I became the one supporting her from the back, but sometimes its really hard and tiring to do so.
We have been through hard times together, but still loved each other even though we know that we are not really compatible.
Recently she went for overseas internship and said she found what she really want. I meet a nice lady. We chatted alot and i found out that she has lots of similarities with me and i am comfortable with her company. Not sure of her feelings with me though, but we are good friends i guess. Much better den the current one
I dunno what lies ahead with me and current girlfriend but we really love each other alot. to Stay or to go? -
her life... but her values have changed, but oso she wun be in sg forever as well.
we are still tgt cuz we still need each other as a support.. its just the matter of time tts all -
Originally posted by tek_koh:what about the still burning flame for each other. You kept harping on this invisible flame that burns - or you reckon that it still does - but what effect does this fire have in your Love? Does it still give you the strength and endurance to continue ploughing the field of the relationship?
Or perhaps you are just afraid of abolishing this security you always enjoyed within the boundary of your relationship, to pursue something outside this familiarity, by artificially having to fuel this dying flame.
You questioned the identity of your relationship and could still tell me about this burning flame for each other?
A burning flame signifies the immerse drive to overcome the struggles in your relationship - not just helpless emotions capable of only 'feeling' and not 'initiating', for if you belong to the former, it simply doesn't justify the reason why you should drag things on.
'Feelings' are but product of our complicated emotions. If you reckon that there are still greater reasons why you should hang on, I say do something about it and not just sit by and watch the relationship decay gradually. Because if there isn't any motivation to do so; your burning flame is probably imaginary.
You probably made it exist.
Cheers -
i think u sorta have an answer already..
u feel that u and ur gf are drifting apart.. the burning flames u mentioned.. is it mutual or juz one sided?
u like to try it out with this new girl right? ur current gf made it clear that both of u are incompatible and she wun be coming back.. i think she's waiting for u to initiate a break ba..
talk it out with her lor.. if u still love her, then try to work it out.. if u dun feel love anymore, and she dun need u anymore.. maybe u should juz let it go. -
guess i would wait for her return and talk about it
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Why can't go for someone new? Why force yourself on someone when you know deep down got no future and more over they already talk it over. If marriages can end at the snap of a finger what makes you think just a normal relationship like theirs would hold out when they themselves already know it? It's better for them to end now then end it after marrying and discover they really cannot stand each other then start quarrellinglah, fightlay, get hurt emotionally and physically then go courtlah. You think masak-masak?Originally posted by MidnightK:Don't go for someone new..
damn.. how can you be like this!
just reading this i get flared up.. -
my bad my bad..
what i meant is like, spending so much time together, then it's really a waste to let everything go down the drain..
don't have to reply to what i say.. thanks..
i don't need the reply and -
Still? They are not married yet what why can't change mind? So? 5 years together means MUST be together for sure? Where you get that idea one?Originally posted by MidnightK:he didn't say that at the start.. how would i know..
Anyway TS original post did say 'they are not compatible' -
5 years le...
shuo duan bu duan..
its hard to maintain a relationship for 5 years
to me 5 months oso got problem liao..
maybe u all nid a break bah..
a few weeks break to consider wad u and her really wan.
its a pity to jus let go, i agree..
but its oso a pity not to let others who deem more compatible a chance.
its like being in a sunken boat.
theres another boat coming.
choose one.
but dun ever stand in both together.
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alot of time invested despite knowing no future, u guys are awesome......
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I have to admit i really bu she de letting go, and the fear of not getting a new or better one after this.
Coward hor