Should I forgive him.........???
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be desperate housewifeOriginally posted by Jamie Zawinski:you must be a housewife
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TS dun pressure your hubby too much, if not wait "Nong Qiao Cheng Zuo". Give him some privacy.
You must understand that is normal for guys to masterbate one. Not because he is flirt or dun love you already. Sometimes is because he wants to release stress and kill the urge. Of cos you can say there are alot of ways to release stress but masterbating is the most easiest way out. What you need is just some imagination and of cos some strength. And less than a ten mintues everything is done. His stress is released and got his satisfation and dun need to bother you.
We can understand your concern but what he does is only virtually that every guys does too. Maybe you can try understand your hubby that why he want to masterbate? Why he wanna lie to you in the first place? Of cos when u approach him with all these questions, you have to accept it with an open heart.
But, b4 you question him, do ask yourself
- Everytime when you have s3x with him do you really satisfy his needs?
- Do you have s3x regularlly?(At least 2 - 3 times a week)
- Maybe we can excuse you for pregeant for not having s3x with him but you can also excuse him for himself to masterbate for this period of time?
One thing for sure is that he lied to you. That's the truth and no one can deny. Do you know why he want to lie to you? I guess when I say it out, all the guys here will support me.
- He care and dun want to hurt your feelings.
- He's embarssess to tell the truth.
- He care about your health, your body and baby.
- He can't force you to satisfy him. He also can't commit adultery cos he knows is an offence and he's going to be a father soon. So he uses DIY method.
For a guy, I think if his wife can't satisfy his hubby needs, is really a very sad thing. Instead if pinpoint him wrong, why not think what started this?
Good to think about it.
Thanks for your time. -
There is no forgiveness to be talked about here. He has done nothing wrong. Surfing porn isn't as immoral as it has been made out to be. It is you, who has planted the seeds of doubt in your heart, who has faulted.
There are no saints in the world. Only with love we make each other perfect.
Love him as he loves you. If he does not, you can leave him. If he does, forgive YOURSELF and move on. -
you are taking this matter into extremes.Originally posted by iluvham:actually i've made peace with him around noontime..
being pregnant with his baby mah... swallow pain myself lor..
what to do?
if u cant fight the crowd, join the crowd...
i will go buy lots of porn movies later & watch together with him..
then we have farking hard sex... then everybody will be happy lor
then i want sex everyday.. if he fail to satisfy me..
i will have the excuse that he cant satisfy my high sex drive during pregnancy period, then i need to watch more porn movies so i can masturbate to satisfy myself.... does this sounds better now?
VICE-VERSA Story.. think about it, everyone...
tell u u dun listen, den like children like dat throw tantraum.
woman who are pregnant hav a tough time, i dun doubt dat. if u really do the above (watch porn movie everyday, den hav sex and force urself to hav sex with him even though u are v tired), who is going to lose out? you are going to harm urself!
in today's society, even girls masturbate and watch porn. all humans hav needs and urge, nobody is going to doubt dat.
i guess u really need to calm down. -
u must be jokingOriginally posted by iluvham:i am currently pregnant in my 1st trimester.. so i feel easily tired for past month.. & i really dont have the energy to have sex with him most of the days.
i rejected him several times & he also said he understands my health & won't blame me.. Bullshit lor..
early today morning, i found out that he had been surfing porn websites before he went out for work (usually he wakes up lates & will be rushing out for work, where got time to surf net??!!) & i am not sure whether did he masturbate before he went out..
so i confronted him over the phone..
he denied at first but later he admitted that he surfed those porn sites (this is not the 1st time he's doing this, he had always wanted to lie to me.)
i asked him why he do that? i mean.. i am just sleeping beside you & if you are really horny, then should wake me up & do it.. why have to do such stupid thing? what will our baby think of you?
he said thousand times of sorry to me already.. but i am just so disappointed with him..
he's already a father-to-be, and still do such stupid thing & what's more, this is not the 1st time already... i've warned him several times & he stop doing this for a quite a while but now he's doing it again... my heart really breaks
i wanted to visit hospital this morning & get an abortion, leave him & start my life afresh.. but i cant bring myself to kill my baby... its unfair to the baby..
but i kept thinking.. what if he betray me later after i gave birth?
it may even be worse, i may jump off a building together with my baby... worse right?
what should i do? i am really at a total loss now..
another drama queen -
You said that he understand that you are tired.
And how can he make love with you?
When guys cant control it, they rather watch pron.
I think yr husband is good in a way that,
when he needs it, he dont ask for you, cors he knows you're tired.
So yea, i don't knwo if you agree to what i say, (:
But its a opinion
Cheers -
anyway my wife also 1st trimester.understanding the tired body u can have at this time.obviously i also cant think of having sex with her.so wat i did is the same as ur husband watch porn loh no choice leh."u cant give,we cant do,wat u want mi to do.
seeing naked body in porn site is better than u go outside look real women .masterbate is the way out for guys like ur hubby n mi ...........iluvham
like that also cannot OMG be monk liao
be understanding on both side 9 month very fast de -
HAVE YOU APOLOGISED TO YOUR HUSBAND AND GIVEN HIM A NICE BJ? -
I think the main point isnt about him watching porn.
The main concern abt this is that you can actually have the thought of getting an abortion or committing suicide with ur child.
I really hope u said this out of anger. And even if so, it isnt the right avenue to go to in the first place.
If you really meant it, pls go seek professional help. Its needed, pre-natal depression or not. -
your husband is very good already..
he wants s3x, you refuse him. can you imagine feeling the rejection?
but despite the rejection, he understands you're tired and having a troubled time too with your(the both of you) baby.
but he needs some.. form of release from all the daily work and increasing ERP and rise in price of daily commodities. he turns to porn w/ the hope you dont see it.
but you chance upon him surfing porn and he initially doesnt admit to it because he wants you to know you're still the best s3x he can get. it's lying for the good of the both of you.
so yesh, please understand. your husband's a manly(coz he needs the s3x) gentleman(coz' he's nice). -
just dont turn out like ann kok on ch 8 7pm drama.
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A) DIY
B) find other girl
take ur pick luh -
dear pregnant lady
stop being so self-centred. the world doesn't revolve around you, neither does your marriage. Your husband has just as much as needs as you. learn that. -
Originally posted by iluvham:if he's not interested in other women anymore, then why he still want to watch some other women in naked bodies??
People control their temptations when in a relationship, but they won't lose interest in the opposite sex.
If he ever lose interest in women's body, it includes u.
Grow up. -
sometimes bcos she is tired, so we dont disturb her, DIY is better by watching porn, but for me, i watch models can liao, once in a while go massage and have HJ, I think we dont betray her in this way.
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because you first give him an impression that you hate to know he surf porn.Originally posted by iluvham:its not just about the porn websites...
what i cant forgive is that he still tried to lie to me even after i confronted him
then how many times had he actually lied to me before?
That's why he tell the lie, of coz he should be honest but you should also let him know that it is ok for him to surf porn. -
hi iluvham
Let me warn you first hor, when you are pregnant, having extreme stress can cause permanent harm to your baby both mentally and physically.
I don't want you to regret for the whole life. -
hi EvilPorkChop (u dun sound evil at all...Originally posted by EvilPorkChop:TS dun pressure your hubby too much, if not wait "Nong Qiao Cheng Zuo". Give him some privacy.
You must understand that is normal for guys to masterbate one. Not because he is flirt or dun love you already. Sometimes is because he wants to release stress and kill the urge. Of cos you can say there are alot of ways to release stress but masterbating is the most easiest way out. What you need is just some imagination and of cos some strength. And less than a ten mintues everything is done. His stress is released and got his satisfation and dun need to bother you.
We can understand your concern but what he does is only virtually that every guys does too. Maybe you can try understand your hubby that why he want to masterbate? Why he wanna lie to you in the first place? Of cos when u approach him with all these questions, you have to accept it with an open heart.
But, b4 you question him, do ask yourself
- Everytime when you have s3x with him do you really satisfy his needs?
- Do you have s3x regularlly?(At least 2 - 3 times a week)
- Maybe we can excuse you for pregeant for not having s3x with him but you can also excuse him for himself to masterbate for this period of time?
One thing for sure is that he lied to you. That's the truth and no one can deny. Do you know why he want to lie to you? I guess when I say it out, all the guys here will support me.
- He care and dun want to hurt your feelings.
- He's embarssess to tell the truth.
- He care about your health, your body and baby.
- He can't force you to satisfy him. He also can't commit adultery cos he knows is an offence and he's going to be a father soon. So he uses DIY method.
For a guy, I think if his wife can't satisfy his hubby needs, is really a very sad thing. Instead if pinpoint him wrong, why not think what started this?
Good to think about it.
Thanks for your time.
),
thks very much for yr time to analyse so much too
i really appreciate it...
very glad that there're still many many nice pple here... (except Jamie Zawinski..stop asking me about the BJ thingy...
)
i realise that all u pple are geniuses!!
i guess anger overcomes intelligence at times especially when strong emotions prevents optimal brain function.
i am not stupid, mentally-ill, immature (like some of u mentioned....
)
but i am a person who is very emotional, hot temper, strong headed and takes things very seriously (because i worry about the future).. similar to a perfectionist, thus resulting in many harsh attitudes and actions causing myself and others lots of stress...
but most importantly, i realise my mistakes and learn to move on my life..
THANK YOU EVERYONE -
hmm if he watch porn or pcc... does not mean he has strayed from you.Originally posted by iluvham:i am currently pregnant in my 1st trimester.. so i feel easily tired for past month.. & i really dont have the energy to have sex with him most of the days.
i rejected him several times & he also said he understands my health & won't blame me.. Bullshit lor..
early today morning, i found out that he had been surfing porn websites before he went out for work (usually he wakes up lates & will be rushing out for work, where got time to surf net??!!) & i am not sure whether did he masturbate before he went out..
so i confronted him over the phone..
he denied at first but later he admitted that he surfed those porn sites (this is not the 1st time he's doing this, he had always wanted to lie to me.)
i asked him why he do that? i mean.. i am just sleeping beside you & if you are really horny, then should wake me up & do it.. why have to do such stupid thing? what will our baby think of you?
he said thousand times of sorry to me already.. but i am just so disappointed with him..
he's already a father-to-be, and still do such stupid thing & what's more, this is not the 1st time already... i've warned him several times & he stop doing this for a quite a while but now he's doing it again... my heart really breaks
i wanted to visit hospital this morning & get an abortion, leave him & start my life afresh.. but i cant bring myself to kill my baby... its unfair to the baby..
but i kept thinking.. what if he betray me later after i gave birth?
it may even be worse, i may jump off a building together with my baby... worse right?
what should i do? i am really at a total loss now..
Guys have needs. It is very normal.
Making love during pregnency can be dangerous for you and the baby. -
I'd advise you to talk to your family doctor or even see a shrink.
-
Hi,
Once bitten twice shy, this quote sounds very familiar to all of us here.
Everyone living on earth has similar characters in one way or another, but it does not implies that we are the same.
You are in fact considered fortunate to be married to a Mr Nice for your second marriage, don't you think so? Since you have chosen to remarry to your present husband, you should not harbored the thoughts of what your ex-husband has had done that resulted in your failed marriage.
Isn't it unfair for you to compare them? If your present husband doesn't possess certain marriage material that you are looking for, I doubt you will consider marrying him and even willing to bore him a child, am I right?
Yes, you are pregnant, but remember, do not let this be a threaten to your marriage.
Think about it, if your husband does not have any needs in his sexuality, isn't it that there's something wrong with him too
Does it mean that if you are pregnant, your husband cannot be a Man? I am sorry for being crude here, but watching porn is definitely not a fatal offence or crime that he has committed.
he has been trying to give in, I mean as a couple, you should learn to be understanding and trust each other.
Being pregnant, you will have the tendency to be temperamental, so does that means that he has to give in to you and kow tow to you?
Since it is not advisable for you to satisfy him in his sexual needs, then you should try to be nice and allow him masturbate or watch porn.
He lied because watching porn is not something that a person can flaunt of and he is also being sensitive to you and trying to show some form of respect too. Don't always take it negatively.
You are going to be a mother soon, live happily, have confidence in your choice of marriage, your husband, your life and be optimistic. Most importantly, you have to trust your husband. If you continued to give yourself this kind of stress, you are also putting him on a spot and pressuring your marriage.
Last thing, think of why in the first place do you marry him?
Why is it that you allow yourself to be tied up with the past that your do not want to remember?
Since you are leading a whole new life now, you are already giving yourself a new lease of life in sought of your happiness. do not dwell in the past and bring misery to your life. You should look forward in receiving your newborn, your new motherhood life, be a wonderful , considerate wife and not look backwards. Learn to appreciate and cherish those who loves you, maybe you have longed overlooked that due to your insecurities. -
Originally posted by Jamie Zawinski:
[b]HAVE YOU APOLOGISED TO YOUR HUSBAND AND GIVEN HIM A NICE BJ?
[/b] Rubbing it in? -
TS,
you are just over reacting ...
don't think so much, clam down and move on your life ... -
Originally posted by iluvham:
HAVE YOU APOLOGISED TO YOUR HUSBAND AND GIVEN HIM A NICE BJ?
hi EvilPorkChop (u dun sound evil at all... ),
thks very much for yr time to analyse so much too
i really appreciate it...
very glad that there're still many many nice pple here... (except [b]Jamie Zawinski..stop asking me about the BJ thingy... )
i realise that all u pple are geniuses!!
i guess anger overcomes intelligence at times especially when strong emotions prevents optimal brain function.
i am not stupid, mentally-ill, immature (like some of u mentioned.... )
but i am a person who is very emotional, hot temper, strong headed and takes things very seriously (because i worry about the future).. similar to a perfectionist, thus resulting in many harsh attitudes and actions causing myself and others lots of stress...
but most importantly, i realise my mistakes and learn to move on my life..
THANK YOU EVERYONE [/b] -
Just a question:
Is he watching normal Porn or Paedophile kinda porn? *shudders*