r/s problem is sian man
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canot give in too much la.. if not u lose your dignity
sometimes u can accept sometimes u cannot accept when its over your limit.. give in too much make the galsa lose respect to u -
Originally posted by Tier:I cant really stand too dominant partner
My ex bf is more high ego and dominant guy. even if he is in the wrong he think he is right he will also angry. I would apologise for something I feel I have no wrong.
And I cant eat the food that I like. only can eat with him what he like. its rather tired to be in a relationship that you can only live in ur partner life.
if she is not so extreme still can work out. cause only during arguement right?
u can give in then after that talk to her frankly about how you feel.
Say that she must try to understand you as well and think in your shoes lo.
my gf is just like ur ex bf
thanks for the advices
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what i'll do is, let her have her way. after she cooled down. have a good talk with her over the arguement.Originally posted by RatedR:what if gf is a dominant type. Things must always go her way. in an argument, the fault is yours and she is correct. how do I settle this so both of us can be happy. other than giving in, what can I do? suck thumb
girls tend to bring up alot of things during arguement and they dun think much. just bear with it. you know she doesnt mean it =) -
Too much pride makes you look smaller than you think you are bigger.
aiyah, communicate and compromise. There the challenge about being in a relationship. It will foster growth for both of you. -
try to put yourself in her shoes and think through the problem again. If u still think shes too unreasonable then either break or always accomodate her. Unreasonable people are always stubborn, hence its quite difficult to actually do anything about them. Or u could hope for a miracle.. haha
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Whats it got to do with male Pride when the guy is giving in all the time and the gal is happily taking in all and giving back none?Originally posted by jojobeach:Yah, detrimental to male pride. I know.
But if you insist on seeing the relationship the MAN way, best you go marry a man lor.
I never say man must back down ALL the TIME.
But I can tell you this, most women will WANT THEIR WAY.
Like one of the forumer who posted , cannot remember who.
" Man has his wills, woman has her way."
It's either you want to put your relationship at risk, or just give in some to make peace.
It's all up to you.
"It's either you want to put your relationship at risk, or just give in some to make peace. "
Giving in all the time and TS is only asking the gf to give once in a while is putting the relationship at risk?
Since the bf is giving in all the time why can't the gf show him some respect by giving him in a few times.
Whats the difference between a dog and a guy who gives in all the time? -
ok. so lemme ask, is it really true that the TS is giving in all the time?
perhaps yes ONLY DURING an arguement. how about the times when TS made small mistakes and were accumulated to become big enough to spark a quarrel? that is why the gf wants TS to give in during a quarrel probaly because she has been putting up with his nonsense before the quarrel started.
TS sometimes you got to reflect. sometimes you might REALLY be in the wrong though you think that you're not at times. sometimes this occurs to me too because i can't understand my girl as well. (well not surprising huh) no doubt that you give in at times when you think you're supposed to be in the right. your girl knows that too. trust me. she probaly feels bad inside for making you eat in her faults.
anyway TS i know life isn't going to go on if you're going to give in all the time. let me cite you a fact. your girl will eventually start taking this 'giving in' thingy for granted and starts to take advantage of the situation everytime. everytime a quarrel sparks she will expect to be in the right. in chinese its called "de chun jing chi" (taking advantage when one is being nice to you)
anyway TS, treat yourself like you're in a video game. you have a life bar. each time both of you quarrel, your life bar decreases each time you give in. not saying that you should not give in but not all the time. eventually your life bar will deminish and you'll die. how long your life bar is, you decide.
try to have a good talk with her over this matter. before your life bar drains you out that is. try to talk to her during the night when things are quiet. face to face not over the phone or worse still MSN. good luck
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Yah lah, if the gf so farked up, then TS must be a real dumb shyt to be still hanging on to the relationship lor?Originally posted by Guardx:Whats it got to do with male Pride when the guy is giving in all the time and the gal is happily taking in all and giving back none?
Giving in all the time and TS is only asking the gf to give once in a while is putting the relationship at risk?
Since the bf is giving in all the time why can't the gf show him some respect by giving him in a few times.
Whats the difference between a dog and a guy who gives in all the time?
A dog knows to run away when the master keep kicking it's ass.
You think TS is not smarter than A dog? -
A gf is domineering because she views the bf as having a few criterias that she likes and many that she has to change. This may be because people were not honest in the beginning of the relationship.Originally posted by RatedR:what if gf is a dominant type. Things must always go her way. in an argument, the fault is yours and she is correct. how do I settle this so both of us can be happy. other than giving in, what can I do? suck thumb
Changing her mindset is possible but I'd advise you not to attempt it on your own. If there are strong reasons why you cannot get out of the relationship, I'd advise you both to seek professional help. -
Dear Jojo,Originally posted by jojobeach:Yah, detrimental to male pride. I know.
But if you insist on seeing the relationship the MAN way, best you go marry a man lor.
I never say man must back down ALL the TIME.
But I can tell you this, most women will WANT THEIR WAY.
Like one of the forumer who posted , cannot remember who.
" Man has his wills, woman has her way."
It's either you want to put your relationship at risk, or just give in some to make peace.
It's all up to you.
The debate between you and the bear posted the difference in thinking between the genders.
I find that the methodlogy is meant to woman who knows what they want and knows how to react and response to the needs of a relationship.
But on the other hand, there are woman whom are young and demanding hence there may be a need of change in the method used. The ideal case is also 50/50 but it really depends on both parties expectations of how much is equal.
Whereas, pride is nothing at certain pt of time, but a man without pride is like a man without confidence. The hard thing is to standing firm on his ground and convince the other party about the rational. Any misalinement will cause the relation to feel a strain and failed in a long run.
As for the TS, what matters is, are you confortable with her personality and demands? If not, this relation will fail in times to come.
We are who we are. We come in a package. Take it or leave it. There is no point to change another person. -
As u said it, man hope take the whole package at face value and hope they dun change. Where else woman take a package that catches her eye and with potential, then tried to change and mould them into something they want.Originally posted by abterror:The debate between you and the bear posted the difference in thinking between the genders.
We are who we are. We come in a package. Take it or leave it. There is no point to change another person. -
Not all women.Originally posted by jojobeach:Yah, detrimental to male pride. I know.
But if you insist on seeing the relationship the MAN way, best you go marry a man lor.
I never say man must back down ALL the TIME.
But I can tell you this, most women will WANT THEIR WAY.
Like one of the forumer who posted , cannot remember who.
" Man has his wills, woman has her way."
It's either you want to put your relationship at risk, or just give in some to make peace.
It's all up to you. -
ya, this could be a good idea. Be it men or women, when in a heated argument, they cant think straight. if one party can give in at that moment, and follow up with proper communication, guess that is one of the best ways.Originally posted by ahkeat:what i'll do is, let her have her way. after she cooled down. have a good talk with her over the arguement.
girls tend to bring up alot of things during arguement and they dun think much. just bear with it. you know she doesnt mean it =) -
How true!Originally posted by Isis:Too much pride makes you look smaller than you think you are bigger.
aiyah, communicate and compromise. There the challenge about being in a relationship. It will foster growth for both of you. -
Originally posted by abterror:
I do not think that debate is representative of debates between men and women.
[b]
Dear Jojo,
The debate between you and the bear posted the difference in thinking between the genders.[b]
It is merely jojo's opinion. No, it is not representative of all women species. -
Everyone in this world is different. No 2 persons are alike. When 2 people come together, there are bound to be loads of differences, but it is through communication, understanding and adaption that they become more compatible. Yes, some people really want to change their partners, like you too, you stated in your other thread you wanted your gf to improve. But you cant change a person to another completely.Originally posted by abterror:Dear Jojo,
The debate between you and the bear posted the difference in thinking between the genders.
I find that the methodlogy is meant to woman who knows what they want and knows how to react and response to the needs of a relationship.
But on the other hand, there are woman whom are young and demanding hence there may be a need of change in the method used. The ideal case is also 50/50 but it really depends on both parties expectations of how much is equal.
Whereas, pride is nothing at certain pt of time, but a man without pride is like a man without confidence. The hard thing is to standing firm on his ground and convince the other party about the rational. Any misalinement will cause the relation to feel a strain and failed in a long run.
As for the TS, what matters is, are you confortable with her personality and demands? If not, this relation will fail in times to come.
We are who we are. We come in a package. Take it or leave it. There is no point to change another person.
But changing and adapting is necessary so as to complement each other better. If one party is to harbour the attitude that "this is how i am, i am not going to change, take it or leave it", i am quite sure any relationship this person is going to be in, will be doom or his or her partner will be one pathetic sod. -
Generally?Originally posted by blu_sky:I do not think that debate is representative of debates between men and women.
It is merely jojo's opinion. No, it is not representative of all women species. -
From my experience, too long of a cool down period may cause an end.Originally posted by blu_sky:ya, this could be a good idea. Be it men or women, when in a heated argument, they cant think straight. if one party can give in at that moment, and follow up with proper communication, guess that is one of the best ways.
The problem is how long is correct? -
no, not all women think like that. but if you perpetually go for such women, of cos expect this type of thinking and behaviour.Originally posted by abterror:Generally? -
if cant handle, dont start it
once start, handle it well... -
what i meant was.Originally posted by blu_sky:Definitely.
The statement is for general. -
No, it is not a fair general statement!Originally posted by abterror:what i meant was.
The statement is for general. -
um... it is cool down, not cool offOriginally posted by abterror:From my experience, too long of a cool down period may cause an end.
The problem is how long is correct? -
okok so u meant either the bear or jojo is wrong.Originally posted by blu_sky:No, it is not a fair general statement!
muhahahah tai ji! -
no one is wrong. jo jo is entitled to her opinion and her behaviour to treat her relationships, afterall, she is the one in her relationship. if she can find a man who can give in to her all the time, i will just say "lucky her"!Originally posted by abterror:okok so u meant either the bear or jojo is wrong.
muhahahah tai ji!
but not all women think like her. and i do agree with bear that she should not be advocating so strongly for men to give in all the time regardless who is right and who is wrong.