in a dilemma
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Gosh watching dvd and catch up in a hotel. sounds like a very wrong place. This is a very awkward and wrong thing to happen with friend. its better to stop contact with this friend.
Its really terrible to be cheated on. But why must u do the same thing?
Gotta get some responsibility for your marriage. think of why u wanna marry your husband in the first place. All the love you all have for each other and in the ended cheated on each other.
Have good talk with him calmly and know what is he thinking. And your feelings for each other, is it still there?
If u still want this marriage to survive I guess it best to go for marriage counselling. I have friends who went before and find it works for them.
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What happened with DVD boy sounded almost like an accident.
That was not an accident.
When you tripped over your own shoelaces, that’s an accident.
When you check into a hotel with a man, your needs are not met.
Cheating in marriage is often due to a psychological reason rather than a sexual urge.
Your decision to cheat is not some overwhelming biological urge that took over you, but rather a psychological urge to seek positive validation to your ego.
Your husband wounded your ego when you realized he’s seeing someone else.
You cheated because of you felt unappreciated.
I’m telling you all these so that hopefully you will realize,
Stop rationalizing what has already happened.
Stop seeking that DVD boy.
He has nothing to offer to you except temporary validation and solace.
It is easier to be in an emotional and suffering state and to look for empathy rather than take ownership for the situation you are in when your actions contributed to it.
What is the reason your husband cheated?
Could it be because his needs are not met as well?
The only permanent solace you can get is from solving the problems you have in your marriage.
That problem has been staring right in front of your face.
Don’t choose to ignore it.
A lot have been said about whether you should or should not tell your husband.
I don’t think that is the main issue now.
A more important task at hand is to forgive yourself.
Forgiving yourself is hardest thing to do but the only way forward.
Your guilt will only drive your husband further away.
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Originally posted by browniebaobao:
so really got ple go hotel watch dvd wan har?
i tot it's a lame excuse commonly used by the celebrities.
who (especially a married woman) in the right mind would go hotel with a man thinking it's purely watching dvd?
did u do it out of revenge?
if u were.. u did it, but are u happy?
I think it would be only fair to tell him if he ever confessed to u abt his wrongdoings. From there, seek each other's forgiveness and hopefully after this crisis, u two will learn how to be truthful and cherish each other more.
watch porn no wonder will get intimate
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what u did was wrong..........even though he cheated on u before you still shouldnt have done those things ........it is because u want revenge..................
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lets go to the root of the problem first rather than solving the after effects.
Curious to know the following things
1) How old are you and your husband?
2) Do you have a good sex life with your husnband?
3) Is your husband a flirt before he married you?
4) have you actually seen your husband cheated on you? ( holding hands with another gal, checking into hotel with another gal e.g.)
5) how much do you really love your husband?
6) arranged marriage?
7) Why do you want to marry him? love, money, husband good looking, husband earning $15k a month?
There are many reason on why a marriage failed, is better to know more about the marriage first before I start on my advices.
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Originally posted by wirdan21:
i'm married-one year.things between me n my hubby are rocky right now.he cheated on me before.i'm very upset with him.so i met up with a guy fren just now.we checked into a hotel to watch dvds and just catch up with each other.i didnt have any motives or anything.i just need to spend some time with a fren,to pour out my sorrows.he started to get intimate with me and we ended up doing things that i'm not supposed to be doing-not the extent of having sex-.it wasnt like that last time.
now i'm feeling very guilty.i feel like i've done my hubby wrong.i've cheated on him havent i?haiz..i really dunno what to do.
Hi TS,Yes you have cheated on your husband. And i believe you knew it the minute he mentioned "hotel to watch DVDs".
Moving on you should keep it secret from your husband. Also let the guy know you wish to end it ... via sms is good.... meeting up with him just to say you wanna end the relationship will end up with more sex..... unless thats what you want. In which case u should ask yourself if you are after the thrill of having an affair.... or am greedy and want both .... or are you afraid of the hassle of splitting with your husband.
Regards
Genie99
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what done cannot undone.
see whether things can be reconciled. tell truths if necessary betw huby and u.
if not, move on. i know dam difficult 'cause divorce not prettty.
take care. mos of all.
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Originally posted by xavier1979:
Since your hubby cheated on you once, your heart felt like you had the license to be unfaithful too. But all that is left now is regret.
Why did you check into a hotel for? Just to watch DVDs only? The atmosphere is almost poisonous enough for such an incident to happen.
That guy sux. He knows you're married and he still tempted you to commit the wrong acts. For a place to chat, there is always the park, the cafe, the beach etc.
Come clean with your hubby. Both of you have committed adultery. If both of you can't forgive each other AND forget this past, then I'm afraid divorce is not far in the horizon.
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