Girl chase guy, what is your opinion?
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Originally posted by Wai Leng:
dare not ask leh...got chance to dinner together with him one, cos sometimes we'll work late, but I always will take my packet of rice & gone back to my desk to take my dinner, no courage leh ---> will try pluck up my courage next week cos I'll be working OTs...
my hubby got a ger ex-colleague *be4 we married* told him she like him when she was drunk
our housewarming we invited her, she go to our bedroom alone & sat beside my hubby bed on the floor *no one inside bedroom cos we busy entertain frens* even though she know he's married & his wife was around at home
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Dunno... it happened to me all the time...
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you like me.
no.
how about bee hoon.
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personally, i dun think its right to chase after a guy.
i think as a woman, we need to have the basic pride or maybe i very old-fashion?
my frenz keep saying me stubborn and old-fashion too.
i kind of in the same situation as TS.
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I am quite okay with it actually, but I would prefer the girl to at least leave me with a bit of work and not to tell me outright.
so I think it would be best to drop very obvious hints, like asking him out for a movie or dinner (the guy should know enough to offer to pay) with just the two of you or you calling or messaging him to chat often.
if the guy does like you, I am sure he would catch the drift and jump at the opportunity. as the saying goes, 女追男隔层沙，男追女隔座山
EDIT: oh, just realised you asked what you shouldtalk to him about since both of you are quiet people. replied the above according to the title.
small talk about work perhaps? you all work at the same place after all, there must be something common about it you two can talk about. you can also talk about something interesting that happened or you witnessed in the day. if he is that much of a woodblock and not talk about something similar, you can ask things like "so what had you been busy with all day?". after a few times doing such stuff, he would normally be more comfortable chatting with you and would take the initiative to chat you up.
the above is just my personal opinion. thought it sounded a little dumb lol.
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hmm...probably as many of our forumites have said, although now more n more girls chasing guys, its still onli limited to the minority bah...n u say u shy mah, so difficult for u to initiate oso...it will b good n courageous for u to initate of course, but if not done rite, it may cause many embarassments for both of u...
asking him out for a date is not bad bah like lunch n stuff...whenever he isnt gonna eat with anyone yet, try to ask him if he wants to join u for lunch, then u guys can chat arnd...if theres no topics, its nice to still at least haf each other's company n see how he feels abt being alone with u onli
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its good.. i like girls making the first step..
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Originally posted by deskoh91:
I am quite okay with it actually, but I would prefer the girl to at least leave me with a bit of work and not to tell me outright.
so I think it would be best to drop very obvious hints, like asking him out for a movie or dinner (the guy should know enough to offer to pay) with just the two of you or you calling or messaging him to chat often.
if the guy does like you, I am sure he would catch the drift and jump at the opportunity. as the saying goes, 女追男隔层沙，男追女隔座山
EDIT: oh, just realised you asked what you shouldtalk to him about since both of you are quiet people. replied the above according to the title.
small talk about work perhaps? you all work at the same place after all, there must be something common about it you two can talk about. you can also talk about something interesting that happened or you witnessed in the day. if he is that much of a woodblock and not talk about something similar, you can ask things like "so what had you been busy with all day?". after a few times doing such stuff, he would normally be more comfortable chatting with you and would take the initiative to chat you up.
the above is just my personal opinion. thought it sounded a little dumb lol.
for the chinese saying...i tot shld b the other way round?xD....
anyways, abt what u suggested for topics....coz both of them r shy, it might not wrk well...those qns r better if the other party has alot to talk....doesnt sound dumb though lol, ive tried it a few times, actuali if the other party is shy or 'doesnt click with u', it'll still end up in some embarassing pauses in between, n it might become worse coz the failed attempt at tryin to get a conversation out will b obvious...
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Originally posted by darkhour:
for the chinese saying...i tot shld b the other way round?xD....
anyways, abt what u suggested for topics....coz both of them r shy, it might not wrk well...those qns r better if the other party has alot to talk....doesnt sound dumb though lol, ive tried it a few times, actuali if the other party is shy or 'doesnt click with u', it'll still end up in some embarassing pauses in between, n it might become worse coz the failed attempt at tryin to get a conversation out will b obvious...
I believe the saying is used more often as I illustrated than vice versa according to a quick glance on a google search. lol.
gee thanks for the comment too. why not you offer some suggestions that are more applicable then? we should learn from each other right?
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personaly i never chase any girl but always wait for the girl to start everthing.lol
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Originally posted by deskoh91:
gee thanks. why not you offer some suggestions that are more applicable then? we should learn from each other right?
hahaha....im a better talker online bah....mayb u guys can try loh....coz online no face-to-face contact so easier....but i online n offline can b quite different la so....cant reali say xD -
Originally posted by Ed11790:
personaly i never chase any girl but always wait for the girl to start everthing.lol
lol....dangerous la...but reali depends on what type of girls u r attracting loh...different type of girls different probablilities=p...can see from their way of talking one la...but as a guy, honestly, still better to take initiative la... -
oh yeah i just remembered that if a girl is shy and quiet and the guy also then it doesnt match and it wont be a good relationship............if 1 is quiet and shy and the other is not then its ok
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Originally posted by Ed11790:
oh yeah i just remembered that if a girl is shy and quiet and the guy also then it doesnt match and it wont be a good relationship............if 1 is quiet and shy and the other is not then its ok
yea it can b a problem la...happened to me b4...its like, will end up got alot of silence on the phone loh(but for me thats partly coz we practically call everyday oso la xD)...but anyways, cant say it wun b a good relationship la....still possible...juz depends on what each party wants in the relationship loh...u can haf a relationship without talking everyday oso mah...sometimes its the company that matters -
yeah happened to me too but im the quiet one who just goes "yes.....no......yes.....really?......great......."
and my gf was the one who likes talking a lot and aways say"u are so cold"..........then she started hating me for it so we broke up........................this was the thing that i regret the MOST in my life........if i have known earlier then i would change and take action more..........now i believe any guy like me in the past wont get any good relationship so i think guys have to be not shy and not quiet but also make the girls happy and smile^^
SERIOUSLY....I REALLY REGRET IT...........
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Originally posted by Ed11790:
yeah happened to me too but im the quiet one who just goes "yes.....no......yes.....really?......great......."
and my gf was the one who likes talking a lot and aways say"u are so cold"..........then she started hating me for it so we broke up........................this was the thing that i regret the MOST in my life........if i have known earlier then i would change and take action more..........now i believe any guy like me in the past wont get any good relationship so i think guys have to be not shy and not quiet but also make the girls happy and smile^^
SERIOUSLY....I REALLY REGRET IT...........
aiyoz.....aiya coz u reply liddat ppl tot u dun make the effort to talk to her mah....but no la, doesnt mean u knw how to talk then can get girls....actions spk louder than words, u nvr hear b4? ;) -
yeah taking actions is important........but she was the one who took actions too and did the talking and words....lol..............it was that she thinks i dont like her and dont have interest in talking to her then she started slowly to hating me and then cheated on me and ran off with someone else............its over a year now and i still think about her everyday
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Originally posted by Ed11790:
yeah taking actions is important........but she was the one who took actions too and did the talking and words....lol..............it was that she thinks i dont like her and dont have interest in talking to her then she started slowly to hating me and then cheated on me and ran off with someone else............its over a year now and i still think about her everyday
it sounds like u din even take any effort to show her ur love leh honestly....i mean u can b quiet thats one thing, but not doing anything to show that u care n love her is another...girls need to b pampered ;) -
yeah i didnt show her i loved her.........for some reason im just the guy who likes a girl but wont want to tell her how much i love her...................i think its embarrasing to let her know or something..............i think im a failure in these relationship and love stuff.lol
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Originally posted by Ed11790:
yeah i didnt show her i loved her.........for some reason im just the guy who likes a girl but wont want to tell her how much i love her...................i think its embarrasing to let her know or something..............i think im a failure in these relationship and love stuff.lol
well then u got to improve on it le loh....need to constantly show girls ur affection for them de(n i dun mean physically, those can wait=p)...but then again, i haf to say this applies to most girls la...not all la i think... -
Well... I am facing the same issue too, but from the guy angle. I like a girl who is more capable then me, but don't dare to make the move cause she treat everyone the same.
Put yourself in the guy shoe also. Maybe he's not making the move cause you are his colleague? So it will be extremely awkward if you reject him. Perhaps you should drop some hints that you like him so he can be more sure of your intention.
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just start slow. Know the guy well first before even you start a relationship. Without a good start the relationship will soon fall apart.
You can try this few steps to help you know him better
1) ask him for msn, and try chatting with him ( very usefull for shy guys like him)
2) Sms him as a friend
3) Talk crap with him
4) ask him out in a group for example group dinner
3) slowly ask him out for a moive with him alone
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there is chase... and there is chase...
I think if you don't know this person well at all yet, then for your own sake and his, just get to know him first. How do u get to know a friend? Smile, be friendly, ask how's your day, bla bla small talk ma. Don't let the whole idea of your attraction put you away.
Who knows, after you do the small talk chit chat, you realise, actually he is rude uncouth and boring, so you don't like him anymore?
But let's say you do, then cultivate the friendship slowly loh. Cannot rush one lah. Organise grou activities, invite him along as one of the colleagues etc.
Stalk prey must stalk quietly carefully don't scare away the prey... then when near, go for the kill!
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small problem.. i no need advice la..
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just do it. when desperate use desperate measures