Siblings Rivalry..;(
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To the TS,
For a start you should learn from your brother to see how he achieves all these successes so far. Perhaps he is a lot more disciplined than you are and sets high goals for himself.
Also, you have to accept that perhaps your brother is just smarter and more capable than you. That may be something beyond your control BUT what is within your control is your attitude towards the situation.
No point lamenting. Work hard to achieve the goals you set out for yourself.
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believe in yrself. everyone has different level of capabilities. i have an elder sister who is better than me in academics as well as co-curriculum. you work hard, and have self esteem. be proud of yrself. try it this way, learn to feel proud of your brother. whenever i tell my friends about my sister's achievement, i feel proud, because she is my sister. you guys are a family. :D all the best.
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I think everyone is made special so you should love yourself for who you are
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man...I feel what you feel, coz i'm like you too...My bro is a high flyer, while i'm....a bum....
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urmm i didnt read the whole thread... sorry
but i wanna noe if ur bro treats u good? does he treats u good and respect u?
if he does, tell him the truth, like ur first post... tell him u dun wan to break this brotherly love with him, u wan to dote him... should help tho...
Cheers
asdfghjkl -
what is the age gap between your brother and you?
When I was younger, I felt this too. My younger brother seemed to be blessed with so many good things ~ runner, music, academic while I was the rebellious one that gave my parents all the heartache. I used to really resent it.
But eventually you need to learn to accept that you have your own good points too and learn to respect yourself. Only when you respect yourself, then you can learn to respect other people for what they are good at.
Sometimes I feel surprised, despite my brother being the 'high flyer' in the family, everytime he comes to me to share about his work experiences, or ask me advice about his choices, I always feel thankful that somehow or other, even though I am not half as successful as he has been, my opinion as his jiejie matters. When we are able to share a joke, or he is amazed at some of the things I do, i feel a sense of pride that its my high flyer brother that's praising me and not some tomdickharry who might not know the quality of what I do.
That's what love is all about. Learning to love yourself first.. And when you learn to love yourself for what you have.. a lot of the envy, rivalry and jealousy will dissipate and you can love others with the best you have. :) -
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
what is the age gap between your brother and you?
When I was younger, I felt this too. My younger brother seemed to be blessed with so many good things ~ runner, music, academic while I was the rebellious one that gave my parents all the heartache. I used to really resent it.
But eventually you need to learn to accept that you have your own good points too and learn to respect yourself. Only when you respect yourself, then you can learn to respect other people for what they are good at.
Sometimes I feel surprised, despite my brother being the 'high flyer' in the family, everytime he comes to me to share about his work experiences, or ask me advice about his choices, I always feel thankful that somehow or other, even though I am not half as successful as he has been, my opinion as his jiejie matters. When we are able to share a joke, or he is amazed at some of the things I do, i feel a sense of pride that its my high flyer brother that's praising me and not some tomdickharry who might not know the quality of what I do.
That's what love is all about. Learning to love yourself first.. And when you learn to love yourself for what you have.. a lot of the envy, rivalry and jealousy will dissipate and you can love others with the best you have. :)sorry ppl for not following up, well at least yr bro still comes to u for advices n chit chat.
mine is the exact opposite. he dont talk to me, i dont talk to him. sometimes i try to start a conversation with my bro but he often gives 1 word replies, clearly not interested in talking to me.
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sorry ppl for not following up, well at least yr bro still comes to u for advices n chit chat.
mine is the exact opposite. he dont talk to me, i dont talk to him. sometimes i try to start a conversation with my bro but he often gives 1 word replies, clearly not interested in talking to me.
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Originally posted by asdfhgjkl:
urmm i didnt read the whole thread... sorry
but i wanna noe if ur bro treats u good? does he treats u good and respect u?
if he does, tell him the truth, like ur first post... tell him u dun wan to break this brotherly love with him, u wan to dote him... should help tho...
Cheers
asdfghjklhe is cold towards me
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Then be more proactive in making him talk. Like say.....twisting his arms for starters.
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Originally posted by onlooker123:
To the TS,
For a start you should learn from your brother to see how he achieves all these successes so far. Perhaps he is a lot more disciplined than you are and sets high goals for himself.
Also, you have to accept that perhaps your brother is just smarter and more capable than you. That may be something beyond your control BUT what is within your control is your attitude towards the situation.
No point lamenting. Work hard to achieve the goals you set out for yourself.
i did, for my past O lvl exams i did study very hard for it. prepare many months in advances, burning midnight oil, doing 10 yr series, memorising notes etc. in the end my l1r5 score is double of his score when he merely spent 1 mth before the Os to seriously study.
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Originally posted by joshua182:
just curious.. how were his A's?
straight As, applying for schloarships
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Originally posted by Borntolive.:
i did, for my past O lvl exams i did study very hard for it. prepare many months in advances, burning midnight oil, doing 10 yr series, memorising notes etc. in the end my l1r5 score is double of his score when he merely spent 1 mth before the Os to seriously study.
Then you just have to accept the fact that he's smarter than you. That's life.My sister is doing her PhD in physics and I'm very proud of her.
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Originally posted by Borntolive.:
sorry ppl for not following up, well at least yr bro still comes to u for advices n chit chat.
mine is the exact opposite. he dont talk to me, i dont talk to him. sometimes i try to start a conversation with my bro but he often gives 1 word replies, clearly not interested in talking to me.
Borntolive,
Well, let's face it, you ain't the most supportive brother he had for years.
In fact, the relationship has become so cold it just takes time and efforts to warm it up again.
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Originally posted by Borntolive.:
sorry ppl for not following up, well at least yr bro still comes to u for advices n chit chat.
mine is the exact opposite. he dont talk to me, i dont talk to him. sometimes i try to start a conversation with my bro but he often gives 1 word replies, clearly not interested in talking to me.
Things won't change overnight... how can you start to show concern for him?Some ways:
Call him before you come home to see if he wants supper/dinner.
Get him a birthday present
Encourage him before his exams and praise him if he did well
Start by talking to him about things HE i interested in
Get him on MSN or Facebook or something :D if you find it harder to be demonstrative
I hope you can slowly build a good relationship with your bro.
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To me, a successful life...i don't know about others but....the 3 words that make me live life happily and on a steady course is "Dream, Plan & Action!!"
Lol, this ain't a movie but in life, when i want something, or want to get something which benefits me, i dream of it, then i plan on how to go about it and apply actions to it.
And then yea, i get it. But nobody is perfect and i am not also so not always things happen according to what i had planned. But i make it as close to no error.
So yea, thats how i live my life lol. It may be weird to some but well that's meˆˆ
It's never a good thing to compare yourself. Each one of us holds different qualities. He may not have what you have but at the end of it all, you may just turn out to be the better of the two. So what if his smarter, no biggie. Just live your life the happy way full of freedom. Do not be affected my friend for people may shower their attention on your brother, your life is your life and you may just be the better person at the end of it all.
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TS,
Perhaps it is not in you to be good in your academics but there is nothing to say that you may be as bad in other areas. Only time and much effort will you discover your other better aspects, so be patient about this.
I believe that the both of you have a barrier here. He may be introvert and you have a self placed inferiority complex get in between the both of you - as far as communication is all about here. I feel that perhaps you will need to drop the being looked up thinking and start being level headed with him. Look I mean, when was the last time you praised and congratulated him? What do you notice about his likes and dislikes? And when was the last time you did something loving as a brother for him? Respect is something you need to earn and it isn't all about becoming superior in the real world today. You will need to be approachable, understanding, open minded and all the X factors you can think about. Most of all you need to be loving.
As I have said earlier, you need to learn to appreciate your brother's accomplishment and success and be attentive to him in his time of need(s) which obviously he has not yet. But that doesn't mean you can ignore that and not prepare for that day. For one I can sense that one day he may need more money to further his studies. So are you prepare to support him when the time comes? There may be other areas so learn to anticipate with a loving perspective and the rest will fall into place. You can trust me on this.