Heres my previous post
http://www.sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/308507
well, today, sort of chatted with her again. i know im a retard, doing this kind of thing. but, couldnt control myself.
wanted to be at least frens with her. close frens even.
but after i stated to her that, she replied no, sorry.
asked her what was it that was holding her back, she couldnt explain.
wanted to ask millions of questions, wanted to know the very truth. but couldnt have the courage to even type it out to her.
she flared up the next moment, using caps and all. making it clear it was impossible for us to have anything else anymore.
i stated that i wasnt trying to have any relationships wif her anymore. and she said she wasnt implying i was.
those words, they strucked me like a satanic blade, deep down my heart. and the feeling of being slapped again and again was back.
words that were flowing around in my mind, couldnt muster up the courage to type them out. whereas i could, to others, instantly.
i am like an object of resentment to her, an object she despised, greatly. an object she never wants to see again.
she went offline after that. without looking at what i have to say about all this.
now, i feel like a loser and a shameless bastard, keep on sticking to her. i kept on trying to chat with her and all, holding onto any hope available. kept trying to infer from her words, looking for a hidden meaning to every one of them; like a stray dog rampaging through a rubbish dump. knowing that there isnt any food no matter how hard he try.
im in deep shit, i really am. i will be seeing her again on monday for class.
how am i going to face her? how is she going to treat me? what will i react upon meeting her?
thousands of question, none answered.
what should i do? i have tried all those that you kind souls have given me, but all failed upon meeting her online just now.
i really suck, im at wits end now. i can do nothing, totally nothing to stop this kind of feeling for her. this special place in my heart, specially for her....
forumers, kind forumers, please advise me what i should do now. thanks...
cont in previous thread then.