rlsp problem.
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well. t start, i want t say that i feel really stupid. but you cant blame me, can you ? i admit i was not thinking right, i was a little rash. alright, here goes.
less than a week ago, i broke up w my boyf. first, i started off msging him. then he gave me this cold reply. this doesnt happen just once, or twice. it`s many times. i know he`s out w his friends, i can tell. but guys, do you really ignore/not bother at all about your girlf when you`re out w friends ? in my opinion, if th girl matters at all t you, you wont do so.
i asked for a brkup. it was sms, he replied okay. it totally seemed like he didnt care at all.
th nxt day, i msged him again, i asked t patch. he told me that we should move on. then we quarrelled abit, he told me this : give me till th end of th hols, i`ll give you an ans aft th hols.
th hols are coming t an end. i guess you know what ans i want t get, right ? anw. i still msg him every morning, every night, even though he doesnt reply.
2 days ago, we had this conversation. in short, he told me 5 things. first, he told me that no matter what happens, we still hav t move on (i didnt reply him yet). then, he told me he wanted t patch (well, i didnt reply yet. it could b what his friend sent, i dontknow. but he didnt deny it anw). then he told me not t bother (w what he said previously). then, he told me i was thinking too much, & he said aft th holidays meant aft th holidays. last, i asked if i still had a chance w him, told him not t drag anymore if he had already decided t end all this. but he said most probably.
i dontknow how t face it. if th ans he`s going t give me is that we wont hav another chance. i want t know, what forumners think. advice is really appreciated, thank you for reading.
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Originally posted by candyx3o:
but guys, do you really ignore/not bother at all about your girlf when you`re out w friends ? in my opinion, if th girl matters at all t you, you wont do so.
No, i won't ignore her... Apparently i do just that but pity she isn't my girlfriend. -
again and again the guy has shown that he wants to move on.. i have to be truthful to u n not give u false hopes.. its not going to work.. if he isn't even bothered to reply to ur sms-es, i think he seriously cannot be bothered le.. u shud move on and dun let him think that u NEED him.. lead ur own life, find another guy who truly appreciates u and live better than him..
the next time u see him on the streets, u will be glad that u made the right choice of leaving someone who doesn't appreciate u..
good luck to u..
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but he means so much t me. aft that day, i couldnt do anything w/o th thought of him. it was difficult t b ard my friends & family, i had t hide all these from them. i couldnt appear down & all that in front of them, could i ? i cannot let go, i know all i want is t b back tgt w him, then try t talk things out. wouldnt that work ?
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i have to agree with purpledragon. move on with your life girl. he's totally lost interest in you. giving you an answer after the holidays is probaly just to give you time to cool down and pull yourself. he probaly knew you couldn't take the break immedietly thus this 'aft holiday thingy' came up.
i know its hard to show the downside to your family and friends. if its embarassing to show it to your family, turn to your friends than. your true friends who will really piece your life back up again. i do hope you learn to pick yourself up. slowly but gradually.
remember you can slowly progress and move forward. take your time. you can even stay stagnent with your life. but, don't ever walk backwards in life.
good luck
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if u go back, then u haven grow up
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Face it... you got all the hints you needed... what you need is us telling you to move on...
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Break up means break up.
Since when say patch means everything back to normal again?
I don't think you're treating this relationship seriously at all.
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I agree that he is just dragging it to let you cool down first. Guys don't like to face an emotional wreck..
Girl, I know you like to hint to make him react. Like asking for a breakup, hoping that he will say something or do something nicer. Unfortunately, guys are dense. To him, breakup = breakup. He won't read too much into your motives and such..
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if he wans to b back then ok if not then wats the big deal... theres many guys out there who r better n can give u better days... dun b afraid to step out... still young so u still got many chances... i say show him the finger after friday... no need sms or call him... if he wans he'll call himself...
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Candy,
Sorry to say this. But you have played with fire.. now you've got your eyebrows burned.
Unfortunately, I don;t really believe you actually is still in love with him. A woman who is in love with her beau will not anyhow say break up one.
You just cannot get over the fact that he took it (the break-up) so easily in his stride.
You are perhaps.. hoping for some kind of "dramatic" episode where your guy begs you not to let this relationship go. You just want to feel that you have the advantage to control this relationship but, too bad he's not letting you have your day.
Even if he comes back to you.. will you be a better gal friend ? Or will you stay the same, taking this relationship lightly ,happy happy break ?
Women.. . we want to win.. but sometimes even if we do get what we want.. we'll still feel like the loser.. this is what you are feeling right now.. yes ?
At the end of the day.. I assure you.. even if you managed to beg him back.. he'll treat you like dirt. Because he can no longer love you like before anymore.
The thought of getting even with him.. may seem sweet now.. but the after taste of revenge will always be bitter.
My suggestion to you girl... is go find someone else you can truly respect and admire. That way, you'll be able to cherish a good man.
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u need to go take english lessons then ill understand what u saying
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don't ever play around with the idea of "break-up", we guys take it very seriously!!
no point for regret now that you have burnt your finger. If you really want him back then put in the effort to show him that you are SERIOUS about him and don't ever toy with the the idea of "break-up" again.however, from what I see, I have to be honest that the chance of you 2 getting patching back is indeed very slim given how cold your guy is, and he seems quite keen to move on.
gd luck gal, but maybe it's time for you to move on too
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yes i agree with raftiger................dont joke around with break ups just because u are mad at us and want more attention from us
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thankyou for all th advice. im sorry for my english. i`ll rmbr all these, & whatevr he gives me aft th hols, i`ll accept. if i hav t move on, i will. even if it takes a long time, i wont go back.
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Originally posted by candyx3o:
thankyou for all th advice. im sorry for my english. i`ll rmbr all these, & whatevr he gives me aft th hols, i`ll accept. if i hav t move on, i will. even if it takes a long time, i wont go back.
stay strong.. believe in urself.. everything will be fine in the end.. the world doesn't revolve ard him, so u shudn't revolve urself ard him too.. u will easily find someone better.. Time can heal ur wounds and let u learn frm ur past..
best wishes=)
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Break liao then patch for
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for me as a guy, i HATE being interrupted when im out wif the guys or juz doing my stuff. it's my pte time & my gf is well aware. unless it something TERRIBLY URGENT like she's gonna die or got kidnap or something like that...she'll get it fm me if she calls or sms me during this time.....
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My advise for you: Can you type properly? It is difficult to read what you are trying to say. A t with an o which makes up the word to, is that so difficult?
If i'm your bf, i would get fed up and not reply your sms.
Ok jokes aside.Break up, he dont deserves you and has lost interest in you already.
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Not trying to give you any false hope here. As you have posted (minus some other finer details) here is how I will look at it from another perspective.
It is initially shocking to receive a break up especially by the interpersonal method you adopted doing it - via SMS. In my opinion such an act is really an act of cowardice and really doesn't speak well about your character and integrity. To me r/s is something so trivial to you, that I just cannot know when it will be before you come with your nuances again. So as a guy, I would go for the protect myself option, I will commit as long as you are committed. Other than that I cannot trust your emotions again, so before you are going to hurt me I will remain as status quo.
It take 2 to tango and what you have done is really hurting even though he may not have confessed his feelings about this recent episode and I would not be surprise at all. You cannot even handle your emotions, so how is he going to trust his in you. I do not know what had conspired between the both of you but I gather it has something to do with the lack of attention from him. Correct me if I am wrong. On the whole picture, I think it would really help if the both of you can devote more time communicating with each other and learn how to anticipate each other's needs. In that way, you can avoid wasting your time 2nd guessing the other party and let all that negative feelings eat and come in between the both of you.
What I see from his reply is simply that I wouldn't want any committment till I have gotten assurance from you that you will not look at our r/s so trivially and overlook me as a human being with feelings. Period.
Hope you see things from another perspective.
Just my 2 cents worth.
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Is it feelings or just a rountine to keep him by your side?
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think we got the same situation i just broke up 2 wks ago
we dragged for abt a mth n the final ans is still a break up
he asked me to move on to n call me go find oer guys n he said the dun love me anymore( straight in my FACE!!!)
haix so now i'm living alone lyk this very lonely sometime i think i just regret asking for a break up
argh
good luck to you
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once break up is better not to patch back,sorry but have to say this when u know the cause of this relatationship to break,the same thng will happen even if u patch back.same issue always come back to u.love is like fishing pull n release pull n release but if u always want to pull the string obviously it will break right.everybody need a break to a relationship even f u work u also want off day right.if is urs it will be urs "candyx3o".this tell mi one thing u are a controller keep control of the relationship ur the other half is a pilot control to long also will quit job..think abt it i maybe wrong so pls forgive mi if i am
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Luckily you're the one who initiated the breakup, otherwise, he can't have the reason to prey on other girls....If he's the one who initiated the breakup, then it won't be nice on his image....
Now, with you initiating the breakup, "mai tu liao"...got another sad story to share with the next girl he'll prey on....i.e. Up his chances of getting the girl...
All thanks to you!
Nonetheless, since what's done has been done, & he doesn't wanna patch back with you...it's time you hould take another deep breath & feel the difference....Yes...it'll be of a significant difference..just take a slow deep breath & exhale...Look out of the window & see...
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well. i think it was a right decision ba.
jj, if a guy does that, he doesnt love you anymore. he said it. whatever for should you continue regretting, crying, for him ? think from another point of view, you still have a long way t go in life. friends, family, studies/work, w/e. manymany things t do. take a deep breath, calm down. do things you like, spend more time w your family. then out there, there are still manymany guys awaiting you.
for th new t come, th old has t go. life is not perfect, therefore you inevitably will experience such things. try t think from another point, you`ll b cheered up better. like me (:
good luck !