cant get over a girl
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hey, maybe you all can help me out a bit with this. here goes, i was with this girl for about 9 months. sincerely speaking, the first time i met her and when i first asked her to be my girl, i had no feelings for her, totally. but as a lot of people say, love grows from within and it did. i began to love her. things worked out really well, although there might be some "breaking ups" and misunderstandings between us along the way. every couple went through some hiccups, there's no such thing as a smooth relationship, right? anyways, all good stuffs come to an end. the last couple of months, she changed a lot. she doesn't seem to be the girl i knew. she gets easily frustrated, at times she can't take my jokes, etc. and then, last month, she blew it. i was kind of bored at that time and called her up to talk to her. but, she didn't talk much. it was as if i did the talking. i lost my temper for no reason and threw stupid remarks at her. she end it right there, saying she had enough and she's not turning back. come to think of it, i guessed i was harsh on her. two days later, thinking that she had cooled down, i thought we would get back together. fat hope! she got a new guy! i just can't take it! can't believe she got another guy that easily! but then, they last for a week only. boy im glad to hear that! now, we still keep in touch. i do call her up to check on how she's doing. i care for her, miss her a lot and of course i do love her! no matter what happened, i still love her. 9 months may be considered a short period of time for someone, but not me. i can't get over her, not now or later. i even turned down a girl..hehe. but then, i don't have the guts to ask her back. there's this fear of rejection. my friends told me to go for it, because if she really loves me, her feelings for me should remain. what must i do?? tell her or keep it to myself? hope i get some advice, chill man.. \m/
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You know.. its like you were inconsiderate towards her.. being harsh and stuff
Well its time she moves on. And you too -
You had no feelings for her, but you chose to go for her - which means you enter this relation either for the sake of entering this relation OR due to external factors like peer pressure, etc. And when she agree to be yourself girlfriend, you *sure* you is not having this same situation as you?Originally posted by Apis06:hey, maybe you all can help me out a bit with this. here goes, i was with this girl for about 9 months. sincerely speaking, the first time i met her and when i first asked her to be my girl, i had no feelings for her, totally. but as a lot of people say, love grows from within and it did. i began to love her. things worked out really well, although there might be some "breaking ups" and misunderstandings between us along the way. every couple went through some hiccups, there's no such thing as a smooth relationship, right? anyways, all good stuffs come to an end. the last couple of months, she changed a lot. she doesn't seem to be the girl i knew. she gets easily frustrated, at times she can't take my jokes, etc. and then, last month, she blew it. i was kind of bored at that time and called her up to talk to her. but, she didn't talk much. it was as if i did the talking. i lost my temper for no reason and threw stupid remarks at her. she end it right there, saying she had enough and she's not turning back. come to think of it, i guessed i was harsh on her. two days later, thinking that she had cooled down, i thought we would get back together. fat hope! she got a new guy! i just can't take it! can't believe she got another guy that easily! but then, they last for a week only. boy im glad to hear that! now, we still keep in touch. i do call her up to check on how she's doing. i care for her, miss her a lot and of course i do love her! no matter what happened, i still love her. 9 months may be considered a short period of time for someone, but not me. i can't get over her, not now or later. i even turned down a girl..hehe. but then, i don't have the guts to ask her back. there's this fear of rejection. my friends told me to go for it, because if she really loves me, her feelings for me should remain. what must i do?? tell her or keep it to myself? hope i get some advice, chill man.. \m/
Both of you, from the relation, bossom some love in it, but it wasn't nutured properly - therefore misunderstand leads to breakup. I assume you both have break and patch before - Cracked vase always leave marks.
Breaks ups and misunderstand - you so sure it is totally cleared and solved?
You so *sure* those misunderstanding and break-ups doesn't kill the love in her?
Look - after breaking with you, she went off with another guy - which only means that during that final period when she was still with you, she already had some funny business going on between that guy and her already. She never accepted him directly I suppose, until when you burst anger - which gave her the reason to do that, therefore she *did*.
It is useless going through relation through breaking and patching because this relation has long lost its meaning. You are suppose to work for a solution while retaining in the relation and *NOT* break - wait for everything to cool down, regret and get back together. This is not only the lamest + laziest way to solve problem (by the way, it will *NEVER* solve it, it just accumulates) - instead it just kills your relation gradually. Fatigue overcomes and love fails, leaving this relation nothing more than a ruins.
You have to move on - because there is absolutely zero reason why you should hold on. You could turn on deaf ear and do it your way - in the end, you would just find that this distance between the both of you never close up.
Learn from this relation - and make sure you learn. If not, history will repeat again and you would likely to post your problems in here once again with me saying the same things over and over and over and over... (you get the idea)
P.S: Hate to nag, but I think I am doing it now.
Prays -
getting into a r/s juz for the sake of getting into one, hmm....
well, as it may seem.... perhaps what she felt, was that u didn't really reciprocrate her love for u, from the start.... and with the squabbles, and all.... sometimes.... it juz gets a little frustrating.....
true that love grows with time, but in this manner, it's not to stead first, then let it grow..... but of course, that's the "general" idea...
she has moved on, and so shld u.
maybe she hasn't really forgived u, or forgotten abt u, but she is already getting on with her life, whatever u are doing now, is juz holding u back from what u might have already done...
sometimes, learning to let go of sumthing will bring something else back into ur life, perhaps better....
u can continue to be frens wif her, no such thing as u can't be frens wif ur ex... but alwiz remember, ur sincerity will pay off, if u are really intent on winner her heart once again...... -
Originally posted by Apis06:
as underlined, that was the turning point, with or without you blowing up the matter.
hey, maybe you all can help me out a bit with this. here goes, i was with this girl for about 9 months. sincerely speaking, the first time i met her and when i first asked her to be my girl, i had no feelings for her, totally. but as a lot of people say, love grows from within and it did. i began to love her. things worked out really well, although there might be some "breaking ups" and misunderstandings between us along the way. every couple went through some hiccups, there's no such thing as a smooth relationship, right? anyways, all good stuffs come to an end. the last couple of months, she changed a lot. she doesn't seem to be the girl i knew. she gets easily frustrated, at times she can't take my jokes, etc. and then, last month, she blew it. i was kind of bored at that time and called her up to talk to her. but, she didn't talk much. it was as if i did the talking. i lost my temper for no reason and threw stupid remarks at her. she end it right there, saying she had enough and she's not turning back. come to think of it, i guessed i was harsh on her. two days later, thinking that she had cooled down, i thought we would get back together. fat hope! she got a new guy! i just can't take it! can't believe she got another guy that easily! but then, they last for a week only. boy im glad to hear that! now, we still keep in touch. i do call her up to check on how she's doing. i care for her, miss her a lot and of course i do love her! no matter what happened, i still love her. 9 months may be considered a short period of time for someone, but not me. i can't get over her, not now or later. i even turned down a girl..hehe. but then, i don't have the guts to ask her back. there's this fear of rejection. my friends told me to go for it, because if she really loves me, her feelings for me should remain. what must i do?? tell her or keep it to myself? hope i get some advice, chill man.. \m/
leave her as it is. -
In everybody life...Alway wouldn't be able to forget a girl that is special in his / her heart...Although it can be fatal miserable...But..There is no cure...It will alway remain in u...Unless..U lose ur memories or ....CHoy choy...Bad luck go away...See my signature...
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I have no comments .. i'm a super failure at this ....
dun worri bro .. got me accompany u sad ! -
hopeless..
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frankly, i am still puzzled by why you want her to be your girl when you had no feelings for her what so ever.
but anyway, being able to develop a relationship from there, i got to admit, is not something easily achievable. when i have no feelings means no feelings.
to your problem, first reason for this "ending" is that this relationship was built off an impulsive, not thought carefully "proposal". Thus causing both parties to be together for no reason what so ever.
second. I am not sure, but you ask yourself, did you ask her to be your gf juz for the fun of it? If it is, then think of another question, is she also doing it juz for the fun of it? becoz one of the things in my mind now is that she just got sick and bored of you and decided to juz get rid of with the lamest reasons or excuse she could grab hold of.
third. You and her are still young and dont know how to cope with the ups and downs of a relationship professionally thus thinking, unconcienously, that a short break up to let both parties cool down is the best solution, not knowing that it may/will(in your case) cause more problems then both of you can handle.
fourth. I suspect also to, that that was not the first time you have used harsh tones, aggressive behaviour towards her. if so, then she juz "snapped" and wanted to break off with you.
The best way to solve a problem is to get to the root of the problem. Find out what went wrong then work on it. Think carefully then solve it one by one. Coming here to ask for help is, although, a good option, but remember, we dont know what happened between you and her during the past and present, so we can only advice you with our own assumptions of what has been going on. In the end it is you that is faced with the problem.
Good Luck and God Bless. -
What i can say to you is. Boy ar...you grow up liao i don't need to tell you all this lah. But hor you really really need to listen to this. Pls grow up more....
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I guess i wanna give my 7 cents worth on such issues....
I think enuff has been said, you are not even sure of your feelings...how to maintain such relationship even if you are together?
I also wanna say that people nowadays get into a relationship easily, far too easily. This is common in teenagers but is not surprising within adults too. I will just tok about teenagers and young adults since most of us are around that age range.
Most relationships started off becos I like you, you like me, i think i understand you, i think you understand me. Thats IMPORTANT i must say, but is that all?
Most relationships started in early stages of your life like from 14 to even 20 do not last, aint I right? Some do last until marriage (yes they do, I have frens who were together from sec 4 till today married). but i would like to propose that these cases are exceptions rather than a norm. then u may question why?
This is not a case of just maturity, age does not determine maturity but it pretty much influence us. WHo can sincerely tell me that they already knew what they want in life, in a life partner when they are just 16? Not many of us i think. at that age, most of us want our bf/gf to be nice looking, sweet...
There are a few things i think we need to consider b4 stepping into a relationship:
Emotional maturity : If we are not sure and cant handle our emotions well, cant show maturity in our emotional life, then we shld have 2nd tots abt having to deal with another person's emotions.
Social maturity : at our young age, all we meet are our frens in sch or church or club or relatives...do we really know who want as our life partner? have we seen enough to know what we want?
Financial maturity: taking your parents' money to go dating? not too right i think. nevermind i can work part time. are u sure? you cant even take care of urself, u still need ur parents to provide for you, can u really take care of another person?
THere are many other more considerations. Some may just say, hey all we want is a relationship, doesnt matter if it doesnt last long, if it does, well i am glad. Relationships that started off like this mentality will most likely fail as the mentality is just to 'try it out'.
I am not stating that this is a 100% foolproof plan to a nice and everlasting marriage. there is none. but with a bit more consideration done, you can increase that chance of a long lasting relationship.
they say love is blind, it is true. Thus my advice is, before you get blind, open your eyes, look around and look at things objectively and if you are dead sure that you and the other party are focussed on making this relationship work, then sure go ahead and jump right in. Love is affairs of our hearts and our hearts dun think rationally, but why not take a little time to analyse love in a rational way before you enjoy your romance.
Cheers. -
You read Books and does lots of counselling!Originally posted by gasband:I guess i wanna give my 7 cents worth on such issues....
I think enuff has been said, you are not even sure of your feelings...how to maintain such relationship even if you are together?
I also wanna say that people nowadays get into a relationship easily, far too easily. This is common in teenagers but is not surprising within adults too. I will just tok about teenagers and young adults since most of us are around that age range.
Most relationships started off becos I like you, you like me, i think i understand you, i think you understand me. Thats IMPORTANT i must say, but is that all?
Most relationships started in early stages of your life like from 14 to even 20 do not last, aint I right? Some do last until marriage (yes they do, I have frens who were together from sec 4 till today married). but i would like to propose that these cases are exceptions rather than a norm. then u may question why?
This is not a case of just maturity, age does not determine maturity but it pretty much influence us. WHo can sincerely tell me that they already knew what they want in life, in a life partner when they are just 16? Not many of us i think. at that age, most of us want our bf/gf to be nice looking, sweet...
There are a few things i think we need to consider b4 stepping into a relationship:
Emotional maturity : If we are not sure and cant handle our emotions well, cant show maturity in our emotional life, then we shld have 2nd tots abt having to deal with another person's emotions.
Social maturity : at our young age, all we meet are our frens in sch or church or club or relatives...do we really know who want as our life partner? have we seen enough to know what we want?
Financial maturity: taking your parents' money to go dating? not too right i think. nevermind i can work part time. are u sure? you cant even take care of urself, u still need ur parents to provide for you, can u really take care of another person?
THere are many other more considerations. Some may just say, hey all we want is a relationship, doesnt matter if it doesnt last long, if it does, well i am glad. Relationships that started off like this mentality will most likely fail as the mentality is just to 'try it out'.
I am not stating that this is a 100% foolproof plan to a nice and everlasting marriage. there is none. but with a bit more consideration done, you can increase that chance of a long lasting relationship.
they say love is blind, it is true. Thus my advice is, before you get blind, open your eyes, look around and look at things objectively and if you are dead sure that you and the other party are focussed on making this relationship work, then sure go ahead and jump right in. Love is affairs of our hearts and our hearts dun think rationally, but why not take a little time to analyse love in a rational way before you enjoy your romance.
Cheers.
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Yeah i do lotsa counselling cos i use to receive lotsa counselling in the past hahaha...reading, yes it helps here and there..but its really looking at other people's experiences that help me along to help other people...
cheers. -
she pretty or nt?
u yandao or nt?
she rich or nt?
u rich or nt? all these do affect u know 
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so chimOriginally posted by Xiao Long Nu:she pretty or nt?
u yandao or nt?
she rich or nt?
u rich or nt? all these do affect u know 
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xiao didi...u still young u dono hw cruel is the worldOriginally posted by sgboy2004:so chim -
Great! You can also enroll the master Counsellor position together with Yunhaier.Originally posted by gasband:Yeah i do lotsa counselling cos i use to receive lotsa counselling in the past hahaha...reading, yes it helps here and there..but its really looking at other people's experiences that help me along to help other people...
cheers.
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heyOriginally posted by Xiao Long Nu:xiao didi...u still young u dono hw cruel is the world ...why u tell pple mi didi is xiao..u no good lah...we are sisters leh -
suddenly, there's a lot of replies to my post! well..a lot of things happened since then.
firstly, i'm answering to those who questioned me why i went into a r'ship with that gerl, even though i had no feelings for her in the first place? it's mainly because i'm attracted to her cute face and nice body. i may sound like an asshole, a jerk, a player, who took advantage of a gerl, or whatever you guys think abt me, but im not. trust me. like i said in my post, time passed by and the love for her grew in me. things changed and so does my feelings for her. i fell for her character and what she had in her. she was this cheerful, humuorous and happy go lucky kind of gerl. she admitted she lost that side of her and she was not what's the reason behind that loss. but no matter what, just a minor change in her won't affect my feelings.
yunhaier, im very sure those misunderstandings and breakups didnt kill the love in her. i had so much confidence in her. i knew she loved me. she didnt had any funny business going on while she's with me. i knew her long enough and i can tell her sincerity from the way she speaks. she got to know that guy two days after we broke off, when she was at town with her friends. she decided to go for it. y? because i think he's a much more handsome and presentable guy than me. some gerls just go for gd looking guys. a cute gerl and a handsome guy, seemed like a perfect match. but looks can't bring or get you anything. it's proven. they last for a week or so.
angeldark, she had not moved on or forgot abt me. when she had some problems with her family and school, she came and talked to me. y me? because she knew that i'm the only guy who understands her really well inside out and there's no one who cares for her as much as i do. i helped her out and i was by her side til she made it through. there's no harm by doing so and i guessed that's the only way to show her that i'm serious abt her.
things fell nicely in place. she told me she wants us to get back. she never hated me for what i had done. she loves me and i knew the love was there. that's the reason y i hold on and wait. patience and perseverance does pay off. this time i'm not going to repeat any of my mistakes again and i'll try my best to keep her with me.. -
Well then...ALL The BEST. Don't FAIL THIS TIME!
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same sentiments wif m©²
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my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
white is the MOST superior after all!
hey then why are the emoticon in yellow?
u guys got promoted to senior members overnight!
God must be on ur side!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
i realised my folly and mistakes,
i shall NOT defy god after all!
since white is always the best!
and God is white light not yellow light...
florescent lamp emits white light
a light bulb emits yellow light, much warmer and sincere!
if you know what i mean.
if a light is black...
there is no light!
so white is still the most superior...
a statue is white clayish
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
my poceliean dummy is gone!
i buried it with my trash!
oh finally... -
wah, steady leh... can try again one.
u better dun screw it up again coz many dun have the chance -
i 2 just fail