Leaving home...
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Originally posted by kengkia:
why do u only think of HDB room? the most cheapest HBD rooms for rental i came across is 350 per month....okay FYI...to rental a room u need to pay....(rental amt per month x 2.5) consisting of ya one month deposit, first month rental and agent fee(half of rental amt) if u engaged an agent...other wise u can drop the 0.5....does this info help...
there's more cheaper ones like 200+, 200 but usually not HBD kinda room, if u even want more cheaper ones u gotta share a room with other people already..
TS do ya maths b4 u do okay?
bro.. dont know much.. but.. that price u quoted was b4 the super price hike..
my sis-in-law is now finding a place to move her mother to live in.. because previously she was paying $1000 for a flat.. now increase to 1800..
she's been finding a ROOM now.. and that's the pricing she's being quoted.. so.. yeah.. just quoting from her figures..
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eh dun teach him.
let him go out n suffer.
duno anytin but geh kiang.
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what do u have against TS i wonder...lol...but then how u look at ya life after moving out is different from how i look at it...so go out experience yaself...like HK is saying...
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but then moving out is a big issue. why he dun want to go and discuss with parents first?
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sorry for nto replying this thread...heres the story...
basically its my mother. she seems to have something against my being with my girlfriend. she just doesnt me to see her much, always trying to make things difficult such as calling me when i'm out with her and talking for a long time on the phone. or checking my smses to see what my gf sends me. now i only see my gf like twice a week. she keeps saying that this gf doesnt suit me, how bad she is etc. of course there were some incidents that happened along the way that made her think that way. but i love my gf so much.
there are also other factors. my mother is a bit of a control freak. she keeps wanting me to stay home. not allowing me to go on overseas trips with my friends. i cannot stand it. i'm working now, waiting to go into university. i feel so restricted. i mean, how many ppl at this age have a curfew at 11pm? its ridiculous. Yet, i feel obliged to listen. because she is my mother and she brought me up. but, if i keep on doing this, i'm losing out a lot in achieving my dreams. like what is wrong with wanting to explore the world outside? and what is wrong with having a gf at this age? she always makes hurting remarks about my relationship, like it wont last and my gf will leave me when she has found a better person. i know my gf isnt like tt.
my mom also demands 50% of my salary.right now i can still give her half of the 1k i earn a month. but when i eventually graduate and get a real job, i cant do the same. how am i gg to get a house and car? how am i to support my family?if i go the hard way and refuse her demands, she will continually argue with me, throwing tantrums taht she does nowadays when she doesnt get her way. it stresses me a lot, i cant even get peace at home.
Hence these reasons. Sometimes i wonder if this is my own immaturity. But i don't know.
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i am gg to stay hall. that will take some of the stress away.
i really want to 敢敢去爱. but i jus cant find the courage or determination yet. i feel so helpless sometimes, and so torn. my dad has no opinions watsoever. he jus echoes what my mother says. mayb that has been one of hte reasons for her dominance.
as for the curfew thing, its mostly when i go out with my gf. its very sad. i believe its mostly about myself, i am too week most of the time.
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Hey acurara,
Have you ever voiced out your feelings to your mum? and at the same time, find out what's the thing about your gf that makes your mum so defensive. Let her know that you need breathing space, if she's still suffocating you, then let her know that you'll need to get out, to breathe.
You need to voice out your feelings, and stand firm. Let her know that she'll always be your mum, but the way she's trying to manage your life, you'll end up being dependant on someone for the rest of your life, sure that's not what she wants in her son.
If all else fails, then..... err..... do you have an aunt who's close with your mum? talk to her about what you're going through to see if she might be able to talk to your mum about it. Your aunt need to be somebody really close with your mum, she''ll probably listen to your aunt's reasoning.
Good luck!
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that isnt a strong enough reason to leave home
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...
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Originally posted by acurara:
sorry for nto replying this thread...heres the story...
basically its my mother. she seems to have something against my being with my girlfriend. she just doesnt me to see her much, always trying to make things difficult such as calling me when i'm out with her and talking for a long time on the phone. or checking my smses to see what my gf sends me. now i only see my gf like twice a week. she keeps saying that this gf doesnt suit me, how bad she is etc. of course there were some incidents that happened along the way that made her think that way. but i love my gf so much.
there are also other factors. my mother is a bit of a control freak. she keeps wanting me to stay home. not allowing me to go on overseas trips with my friends. i cannot stand it. i'm working now, waiting to go into university. i feel so restricted. i mean, how many ppl at this age have a curfew at 11pm? its ridiculous. Yet, i feel obliged to listen. because she is my mother and she brought me up. but, if i keep on doing this, i'm losing out a lot in achieving my dreams. like what is wrong with wanting to explore the world outside? and what is wrong with having a gf at this age? she always makes hurting remarks about my relationship, like it wont last and my gf will leave me when she has found a better person. i know my gf isnt like tt.
my mom also demands 50% of my salary.right now i can still give her half of the 1k i earn a month. but when i eventually graduate and get a real job, i cant do the same. how am i gg to get a house and car? how am i to support my family?if i go the hard way and refuse her demands, she will continually argue with me, throwing tantrums taht she does nowadays when she doesnt get her way. it stresses me a lot, i cant even get peace at home.
Hence these reasons. Sometimes i wonder if this is my own immaturity. But i don't know.
gosh..
just exactly the same as my mom..
word of advice for you..
you can't change her thinking overnight..
i only got my full independence and gain her trust last yr (after working for 6 years) only..but there are still times whereby she will nag at me, but not like last time anymore..
here's some tips for you
- proof to her that you're independent enough to look after yourself
- find a time to talk to her face to face while cooking (if she likes it) so that they will be lesser arguements or while watching tv..
- do a mathematics calculation out for her on your income, savings, expenses, planing to save for future home, car, education needs, transportation, monthly contribution to parents and entertainment etc; she will understand if you show her that you really have grown up.
- parents aren't used to kids turning into young adults so naturally they still want to control us..but if u show her that u really can take care of urself by giving her money and having sufficient to save monthly that she can set her worries at bay that would be the best.
- as for curfew, don't attempt to immediately overthrow it. if you wanna stay at gf's hse, by all means go ahead, ONLY IF HER PARENTS ALLOWS IT.
- to stay in ur gf's hse, show your potential hushband to be material by helping out with the home chores, cooking (is definitely a HUGE PLUS sign in parents)