Break or not???
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Yesterdae had a huge quarrel wif my bf!he initiate to break off last nite.well actuali we have been together for 1yr and 10days....being wif him i m happy but at times i find him kind of chidish.i mean his thinking n my thinking is different as he is 1 yr younger then mi..but i can tell tat he truly love mi and i cant bear to leave him too!but i can feel the pressure being wif him as there is lots of restrictions like i cant go out wif my guy frens or go clubbinand etc....and eveytime when i say i got class gathering or goin out wif my cousin or frens he will seems to b very unhappy wif mi and tell mi tat i should b back home earli if i go home late i will get it frm him! i feel tat i got no freedom n i dun have space to breathe....I reali duno wat to do now...should i jus leave him or wat?
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your so called bf is behaving like a father????
Wat kind of guys u prefer. There is no perfect bf u will find...only 1 that u can accept him for what he is, not wat u wanna him to be.
I guess u got to move on and search for your true love
Best wishes to u -
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all i know is that the person you know u'll really love is not the perfect guy/girl you're looking for...
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ouch. to have someone loves you, yet not giving you the freedom you want. headache, isnt it?
in fact, i dont like to use the word love here 'cause love compromises of understanding, and he doesnt seems to understand your needs.
the keyword here is communication.
find out WHY (as in talking to him) is he so restrictive to your movement. was it because of any bad experiences, such as you didnt call him when you are supposed to while clubbing with friends?
subsequent to that, are you able to assure that his concerns are redundant? e.g. if he is worried that you might be led astray, can you convince him that you wont?
if the above methods dont work out, i would say a break up is inevitable.
no matter how much cares and concerns one can shower to another individual, it still doesnt give them the rights to control another person's wishes, unless its immoral or illegal.
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Yo Broz! You're back! How's your leg?Originally posted by sgboy2004:your so called bf is behaving like a father????
Wat kind of guys u prefer. There is no perfect bf u will find...only 1 that u can accept him for what he is, not wat u wanna him to be.
I guess u got to move on and search for your true love
Best wishes to u -
Thanks...much better...walking oredi...will try some jogging next week... and back to work liaoOriginally posted by M©+square:Yo Broz! You're back! How's your leg?
Thanks again
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let him knw loh, he oso my fren and i can tell he really loves u a lot, coz letting the other party knw the problems between the both of u can actually help to solve the problem. 1yr plus relationship is difficult to maintain... think twice. the words coming out from him might be some 'qi hua', dun put it on heart...Originally posted by He77AnGeL:Yesterdae had a huge quarrel wif my bf!he initiate to break off last nite.well actuali we have been together for 1yr and 10days....being wif him i m happy but at times i find him kind of chidish.i mean his thinking n my thinking is different as he is 1 yr younger then mi..but i can tell tat he truly love mi and i cant bear to leave him too!but i can feel the pressure being wif him as there is lots of restrictions like i cant go out wif my guy frens or go clubbinand etc....and eveytime when i say i got class gathering or goin out wif my cousin or frens he will seems to b very unhappy wif mi and tell mi tat i should b back home earli if i go home late i will get it frm him! i feel tat i got no freedom n i dun have space to breathe....I reali duno wat to do now...should i jus leave him or wat?
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i think even if ur dun break.. in future same pro will arise again if ur dun solve it asap.. in the end ur might even end up breaking up...
i'm not trying to encourage ur to break up but, same thing will happen again... think of the long run... -
Tat's how a lot of wars happen, and how a lot of relationships broke up... for that moment of heat, such vocabulary as in "break up" surface, then it is really sad.Originally posted by ah tiang:let him knw loh, he oso my fren and i can tell he really loves u a lot, coz letting the other party knw the problems between the both of u can actually help to solve the problem. 1yr plus relationship is difficult to maintain... think twice. the words coming out from him might be some 'qi hua', dun put it on heart... -
Your boyfriend - younger by you by one year and you find him childish - this shows that the unconscious barrier of a older woman, younger guy hasn't really bypass you.Originally posted by He77AnGeL:Yesterdae had a huge quarrel wif my bf!he initiate to break off last nite.well actuali we have been together for 1yr and 10days....being wif him i m happy but at times i find him kind of chidish.i mean his thinking n my thinking is different as he is 1 yr younger then mi..but i can tell tat he truly love mi and i cant bear to leave him too!but i can feel the pressure being wif him as there is lots of restrictions like i cant go out wif my guy frens or go clubbinand etc....and eveytime when i say i got class gathering or goin out wif my cousin or frens he will seems to b very unhappy wif mi and tell mi tat i should b back home earli if i go home late i will get it frm him! i feel tat i got no freedom n i dun have space to breathe....I reali duno wat to do now...should i jus leave him or wat?
What do I mean?
If you bypass this mental barrier together - you wouldn't have thought of it has *he* being younger, therefore childish. Think about this, if lets say he is childish - an aspect that could be discover even as a friend, unlike possessiveness where only being together would reveal it, in the first place why did you accepted him? In any case - your heart falls for him, but your mind hasn't been subdue yet. You thought of the time spent together - wow, its one year and feel reluntant to release this relation. Yes, I know you do love him for who he is, but the mental barrier is still there and you don't realise it.
His possessiveness is choking you and you feel breathless. Since now he already break with you - he initiated the break, the argument is the catalysis that sparks this break - which means you are single now and seeking for people's advice if you should ask for a patch or be heartless and kick him out of your vision forever and ever - one good solution is to *wait* and see if he does anything since he is the one who initiated the break. If he feels that it was partially his fault for the raging argument and comes back apologising and wants you back - and *IF YOU* also wants back the relation - this is what you MUST do.
1) Psycho and influence and *prevent* youself from having this thoughts - he is childish because he is younger than me. In your mental unconsciousness - you have to also accept him, not just your consciousness.
2) Communicate and let him know that he is possessive. After letting him know, speak and work out a solution together. If he still insist on his own way of thinking and working, say goodbye to him - he is not willing to compromise - an essential in a relation - so nothing could stop you from leaving except good memories.
For example: Maybe can go clubbing once a month, go out with cousins and classmate is alright, at times when have to come home late when bo bian one its ok, since you don't do it everyday, kind of thing.
He *has* to realise that what he is doing is killing this relationship - then only with proper workable solution can the relation gradually improve and grow like its potential could allow it to be.
Cheers -
lack of trust - he doesn't trust u
lack of communication - both of u need to talk abt the prob
lack of respect - he doesn't respect ur frens, do u do the same to him?
go figure -
den u hv 2 choice 1 is luv another is freedom. . . wic 1 u wants more? u only can choose 1. . . since u say ur bf is like dat liao but mayb u can try to tok to him abt freedom tin but doubt will b sucessful coz he those v possessive & jealous type. . .Originally posted by He77AnGeL:Yesterdae had a huge quarrel wif my bf!he initiate to break off last nite.well actuali we have been together for 1yr and 10days....being wif him i m happy but at times i find him kind of chidish.i mean his thinking n my thinking is different as he is 1 yr younger then mi..but i can tell tat he truly love mi and i cant bear to leave him too!but i can feel the pressure being wif him as there is lots of restrictions like i cant go out wif my guy frens or go clubbinand etc....and eveytime when i say i got class gathering or goin out wif my cousin or frens he will seems to b very unhappy wif mi and tell mi tat i should b back home earli if i go home late i will get it frm him! i feel tat i got no freedom n i dun have space to breathe....I reali duno wat to do now...should i jus leave him or wat?
but then it all depends coz i hv gf whose bf more jialat than urs. . .
he seldom or can say nv let her go out but once awhile mayb can like go out wif mi to shopping lar.
her bf exchange her simcard wif his so dat he can knw who call her. . .it more worse rite? even ur hp privacy oso being intervade but then although she kinda of pek chek but she reli luv her bf & she slowly ger used. . . den she oso quite possessive it all depends lor -
Originally posted by www:
well said but then dar differ ppl differ way of handling luv. . .
ouch. to have someone loves you, yet not giving you the freedom you want. headache, isnt it?
in fact, i dont like to use the word [b]love here 'cause love compromises of understanding, and he doesnt seems to understand your needs.
the keyword here is communication.
find out WHY (as in talking to him) is he so restrictive to your movement. was it because of any bad experiences, such as you didnt call him when you are supposed to while clubbing with friends?
subsequent to that, are you able to assure that his concerns are redundant? e.g. if he is worried that you might be led astray, can you convince him that you wont?
if the above methods dont work out, i would say a break up is inevitable.
no matter how much cares and concerns one can shower to another individual, it still doesnt give them the rights to control another person's wishes, unless its immoral or illegal. [/b]
guess her bf reli luv her dat y he like dat. . .he scare to lose her. . .
n i can c her bf is nt confident of hisself dat y he will do tis kind of tin he fear dat better guy den him & fear she will b gone wif them. . .
communication is the best tool try to tok to him & tell him wad u reli 1 -
Is FREEDOM important to you in your life...? If so, let him know that MUTUAL RESPECT is VERY IMPORTANT in a relationship.... Try to understand things a bit from his point of view and let him know that you're aware of his concerns....Originally posted by He77AnGeL:Yesterdae had a huge quarrel wif my bf!he initiate to break off last nite.well actuali we have been together for 1yr and 10days....being wif him i m happy but at times i find him kind of chidish.i mean his thinking n my thinking is different as he is 1 yr younger then mi..but i can tell tat he truly love mi and i cant bear to leave him too!but i can feel the pressure being wif him as there is lots of restrictions like i cant go out wif my guy frens or go clubbinand etc....and eveytime when i say i got class gathering or goin out wif my cousin or frens he will seems to b very unhappy wif mi and tell mi tat i should b back home earli if i go home late i will get it frm him! i feel tat i got no freedom n i dun have space to breathe....I reali duno wat to do now...should i jus leave him or wat?
DRAW a line of mutual agreements on a comfortable basis for both parties... If it work out fine, should be ok FOR NOW.... If it doesn't, depends on what kinda relationship you're expecting out of this one....?
~good luck...? -
think in his shoes...n
ask urself do u love him -
Hey guys reali thanx for ur feedback i reali appreciate it! well mi n bf oredi patch back! I realli hope we can start afresh and hope all those nonsense dun come back again!
~~~Cheers~~~
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gd for uOriginally posted by He77AnGeL:Hey guys reali thanx for ur feedback i reali appreciate it! well mi n bf oredi patch back! I realli hope we can start afresh and hope all those nonsense dun come back again!
~~~Cheers~~~
but whenever there are disputes, pls try to keep a clear head.... communication is the key to solve such probz -
You yourself shod noe best if he loves u or not.