Some time back, I had this problem where I really liked a girl, but some other girl (let's call her A) liked me too. Unfortunately, at that time I did not reciprocate, although I did try to be friends. My friends commented that I seemed to be keeping her in 'reserve', sort of like a 'backup'. Later on I realised that my crush on the first girl had faded, and while sorely tempted to revert to my 'backup', I was torn between the attraction of immediate intimacy and my conscience, which informed me on no uncertain terms that she wasn't right (at least for a long term relationship), and it wouldn't do for me to make use of her. So, quite contrary to my heart, I set out to distance myself from her. Now I hear she has a bf, while i'm still unattached. I wonder:
Should I have done what i did, or just went ahead and pursued her right back for that 'instant intimacy' bit? Actually it isn't really as bad as it sounds, i just have a tendency to think long-term due to some previous bad experiences. Would it be better to just 'go' for a few months, if both sides benefit and are happy with the arrangement? And guys, if you were to discover that a girl liked you, what would your INITIAL reaction be? (let's talk ground-level here, not some heady idealistic stuff)
Vald
Don't be so hard on yourself... You did the right thing and not used her as your rebound (because, if that was the case... I don't think your relationhship with her would succeed.)
Anyway, all... I can say is that... you can either try and fight for her... or wait... and see what happens next.
Now... hehee to tell the truth...I did have a girl who like me. But... at that time.., my feelings for her were nil.so... i rejected her(I felt bad....after that). My initial reaction was..."wow..." and it was kinda good to know that someone out there actually liked you and also willing to care for you. BUT...I guess it all comes down to you to choose with the girl who likes you or the girl who you desired...and like you, i chose the girl i desired. *Dun ask what happened next...*
---------------------------------------------
May GOD BLESS U!!! and i hope you find what you are looking for.
------------------
In your service,
Dragonlance
From a ger's point of view...i would suggested tat if u noe tat a ger is interested in u...tink whether u like her or not??or whether u might develope feelings fer her or not..i simply dislike those guys hu get into a relationship wif a ger juz cos e ger liked him..n later gave a reason tat he have neber liked her in e beginning when they break up..coz if a ger like sumone she will give all her heart..(most gers do tat)..den if u are unable to reciprocate..i suggest tat u dun hurt e ger..coz u will her her even more hwen u break off wif her later on..however if u feel tat its possible between e 2 of u den go ahead n giv it a try..=)
------------------
<<<<KnOwLeDgE iS tHe AnTiDoTe To fEaR>>>>
U did the right thing.
If she's yours, she will be. If you are not interested in her, being with her will be hurting her. Do u wish to hurt someone just because of some selfish desire?
Do not despair, there will be that special someone for you somewhere out there...
Dragonlance-
Who ah? *jealous*
------------------
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart..but if you dun, u might break theirs..
Holding a gal's hand, and thinking of another one is not desirable at all, trust me. I guess first reaction when u found out that someone actually liked u will be like "shit...true anot", and most of the time, the one who like u, is not the one u like..thatz how heaven makes a sport of us...to get a direct hit, she likes u, n u have been actually in love with her all the time...haha..i would say JACKPORT...not impossible though
LOVE is a miracle when two parties have feelings mutually, but not when only one party is willing...
cheers
i think what u have done is right. If not you may regret later on. But since she got a bf so quick. She may not be in love with you at that time. But bcos u never try, u will never know..