Why guys cannot confess their feelings like a MAN?
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i wanna meet parn.
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Coincidentally, someone send me an email today about a story of a boy who likes a girl but never told her. Interesting...it just a read to those who thinks that they dare not confess to a girl, it might encourage you somewhat. I hope...
10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!'I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried
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Originally posted by Callan:
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!'I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried
some dreams are not meant to be, even if you have feelings for each other it doesn't mean the situation allows it. sometimes being together might bring more pain than being seperate.
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Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:
some dreams are not meant to be, even if you have feelings for each other it doesn't mean the situation allows it. sometimes being together might bring more pain than being seperate.
I would like to quote my friend, "There is no absolute." Dreams are what we hope to be, and as the word hope explains itself, it is an unknown chance. The only thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams is fear of failure. But with the chance of failure comes the chance of sucess. So unless you are looking at an impossible dream, there is always a chance of sucess.
The pharse "dream on" is discouraging only to dreamers, not to those who grapse the chance.
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Originally posted by Callan:
I would like to quote my friend, "There is no absolute." Dreams are what we hope to be, and as the word hope explains itself, it is an unknown chance. The only thing that stops us from pursuing our dreams is fear of failure. But with the chance of failure comes the chance of sucess. So unless you are looking at an impossible dream, there is always a chance of sucess.
The pharse "dream on" is discouraging only to dreamers, not to those who grapse the chance.
No Reply so far?
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Originally posted by Pentaxdude90:
i wanna meet parn.
u will be scared out of u (- -)but his photo really nice
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
u will be scared out of u (- -)but his photo really nice
Actually Pentaxdude just needs to go Desker Road, he will see transexual parn there lah.
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
Actually Pentaxdude just needs to go Desker Road, he will see transexual parn there lah.
OMG fantagf is here (- -)flame wars begins here~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ego at work.
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
OMG fantagf is here (- -)flame wars begins here~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eh, don't be so bad. I not that bitchy like transexual OK, pls practise good judgement. Transexual is always the one who invades my threads and posts and starts to flame, sometimes I don;t choose to go to its threads and posts to flame but when I find it is too much I will do it.You love transexual parn?
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Originally posted by MiX Metal:
but then again .... don't u think that guys like this are less likely to cheat on their gfs??
since they don't really dare to approach girls?? it might be a good catch...... provided they are the shy type and not the at cool type.
But I got to give it to you, the "sprem cow" is a good one!!
All guys have the ability to cheat on their gfs, it's just up to them how desperate they are willing to risk their current relationship to start another potentially uncertain but risky new relationship.If the girl is super pretty compared to the guy's current gf, then I'm not surprised if the guy cheated on his gf.
But some girls who are not so pretty, have more tricks up her sleeves to make the guy feel all the unnecessary emotions and drop him like a snail in her palm.
I'm sure all the girls/guys feared the most and also wanted to meet up with the most at least once in their lifetime are girls who are pretty and also have alot of tricks up her sleeves.
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Originally posted by Callan:
I'm not here to prove anything right or rather wrong in your case. You do seem quite self-righteous online though I may not know you in real-life. Just give it a thought, have you ever really tried to agree with a point of view that might not be what you thought of from the beginning? It's just a thought that crossed my mind.
Anyway, this story was told to me by a counsellor friend, a few years back. I did not give it much thought then after she gave me her answer as I found it more to be a joke than anything else.
Here is what she said, "Damn those 2 idiots, the perfect one has been in their life the whole time but they just got to go around looking for "the one" without realising that they are just too afraid to venture beyond friendship for fear that they will lose this "Unique Friendship" should they develop further. Stabilty is the key obstacle to change. Without risk, there are no rewards, especially the most fulfilling ones. The are no absolutes in life."
This story just crossed my mind when I was reading all these posts. The fear of change to the current situation or rather state of relationship, is most probably the biggest hinderance to a confession. It's like playing a game of "Pushing beer mugs on the bar counter". You want go the furthest (Closest) without going over the edge (Rejected). You can say that this mentality is develop from the simple fact that they actually treasure the current status of the relationship and would not want jeapordise it in any manner.
Of course, I'm not saying that by not confessing it is a good thing, but I'm saying, most of the guys will hesistate to confess when they know that they might go over the edge and get rejected and maybe not be friends anymore.
Parn, you might be exceptional in the way you handle a rejection, and not shy away after a confession from a guy. But I'm quite sure that for every one woman who is like you, there will be another 5 who would want to hide from the guy who confess to them previously. Maybe I'm too old to understand the new mordern young women, but in my day, the scenario is almost always so.
People are different in the ways they handled their own lives and how they have chosen to treat others.If a person were to confess to you that they liked you, wouldn't you be impressed with his courage and honesty that he doesn't want to hold back or deny the truth that is residing in his heart?
How many times did you have someone confessing to you that they liked you? I don't think even best friends or even close friends have the courage to tell you what you really meant to them.
I can tell you most of the time a confession is more likely to succeed than fail as rumoured as some urban legends. Unless the person whom you are confessing to already had some other person in their mind, or the person don't really know you at all, or if the person really don't like you at all enough to even consider you as one of her real friends, or the confession was done at the wrong timing (preparing for exams)/moment (need to go and pang sai)/scenario (at a funeral)/situation (just broke up), or if the person has no experienced at all (hopefully you're not the first person in their lives to confess to them), how difficult it is for anyone to fail a confession??
It's so funny, all the guys claimed their loved ones are like angels from heavens and sweet and alot of blah blah lies and nonsenses, but when come to time for confession, their loved ones suddenly became devils and monsters until they don't dare to confess their feelings at all.
So if you're a guy, why don't you tell us here the reason why?
Is it because they're lying?
Ohh...if there are many more girls like me, you all guys would've been dead.
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Parn!
got any tricks up ur sleeves fer me?? *blushed*
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Originally posted by parn:
People are different in the ways they handled their own lives and how they have chosen to treat others.If a person were to confess to you that they liked you, wouldn't you be impressed with his courage and honesty that he doesn't want to hold back or deny the truth that is residing in his heart?
How many times did you have someone confessing to you that they liked you? I don't think even best friends or even close friends have the courage to tell you what you really meant to them.
I can tell you most of the time a confession is more likely to succeed than fail as rumoured as some urban legends. Unless the person whom you are confessing to already had some other person in their mind, or the person don't really know you at all, or if the person really don't like you at all enough to even consider you as one of her real friends, or the confession was done at the wrong timing (preparing for exams)/moment (need to go and pang sai)/scenario (at a funeral)/situation (just broke up), or if the person has no experienced at all (hopefully you're not the first person in their lives to confess to them), how difficult it is for anyone to fail a confession??
It's so funny, all the guys claimed their loved ones are like angels from heavens and sweet and alot of blah blah lies and nonsenses, but when come to time for confession, their loved ones suddenly became devils and monsters until they don't dare to confess their feelings at all.
So if you're a guy, why don't you tell us here the reason why?
Is it because they're lying?
Ohh...if there are many more girls like me, you all guys would've been dead.
Accepting a guy because you like him is one thing, accepting him simply because he has the courage to confess is another. If it was this simple, I would have scored a 100% hit rate on all my confessions. (And yes I did a lot of confessions in my hayday.)
We always have someone in mind, we might not even know that someone sometimes. It is like a template that we have as to what we feel we want to have. Most of the time I just confess anyway even though I know I'm not anything like that "template". But I'm different from most simply because I confess to liking someone not because I want to be her boyfriend or anything like that. It is a totally different matter all together. I confess for a few reasons.
1) It is my humble way of complimenting the goddess of my affection.
2) I just want to be frank and let her know where I am with her right now and not pretend to be the good buddy she thinks I am. A pretendious relationship is not one that can go very far.
3) I dun want her to misunderstand my actions for any form of friendliness. I want to let her know that I'm doing things for her because I'm want her. She should not be expecting to get the same treatment from me once I'm rejected or for some reason I lose interest. I would not want her to say that I have changed simply because I'm not wooing her anymore. There are just some silly things you do for her when you are wooing her or you are her bf but not when she is just a friend.
4) I just want to let her know I'm interested.
5) It's also my way to mark the territory, telling other existing or would be suitors that there is a strong competitor in this arena and you better back off if you are not up to the heat.
From my reasons you can see that I look at a confession not as an end to the chase but the beginning of it. It is not so much like a showdown. I dun expect an answer from the girl. But of course, there are some that take this negatively and give me an outright rejection. That is where I think the girls are silly, I'm not even asking you to be my gf, I'm just asking you to judge if I'm good enough to be your bf, so why are you judging beofre the show starts?
And Parn, I dun understand one bit why all us guys would have been dead with a few more of you around. Care to explain in detail?
I for one think that if more guys were like me, girls would all be in heaven.
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Originally posted by parn:
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Originally posted by Callan:
Accepting a guy because you like him is one thing, accepting him simply because he has the courage to confess is another. If it was this simple, I would have scored a 100% hit rate on all my confessions. (And yes I did a lot of confessions in my hayday.)
We always have someone in mind, we might not even know that someone sometimes. It is like a template that we have as to what we feel we want to have. Most of the time I just confess anyway even though I know I'm not anything like that "template". But I'm different from most simply because I confess to liking someone not because I want to be her boyfriend or anything like that. It is a totally different matter all together. I confess for a few reasons.
1) It is my humble way of complimenting the goddess of my affection.
2) I just want to be frank and let her know where I am with her right now and not pretend to be the good buddy she thinks I am. A pretendious relationship is not one that can go very far.
3) I dun want her to misunderstand my actions for any form of friendliness. I want to let her know that I'm doing things for her because I'm want her. She should not be expecting to get the same treatment from me once I'm rejected or for some reason I lose interest. I would not want her to say that I have changed simply because I'm not wooing her anymore. There are just some silly things you do for her when you are wooing her or you are her bf but not when she is just a friend.
4) I just want to let her know I'm interested.
5) It's also my way to mark the territory, telling other existing or would be suitors that there is a strong competitor in this arena and you better back off if you are not up to the heat.
From my reasons you can see that I look at a confession not as an end to the chase but the beginning of it. It is not so much like a showdown. I dun expect an answer from the girl. But of course, there are some that take this negatively and give me an outright rejection. That is where I think the girls are silly, I'm not even asking you to be my gf, I'm just asking you to judge if I'm good enough to be your bf, so why are you judging beofre the show starts?
And Parn, I dun understand one bit why all us guys would have been dead with a few more of you around. Care to explain in detail?
I for one think that if more guys were like me, girls would all be in heaven.
Hmm...you need to understand my post first before you reply your misunderstood nonsense. I did not mention that the confession will be 100% successful if you have the courage to confess, it's made up by your imagination or your intentions to misunderstand my post or simply by your poor understanding of my post and the language.From the five reasons that you have given, I can understand why you were rejected. The five reasons that you have given only shows one thing, YOU, YOU and YOU. It's alll about satisfying and fulfilling what YOU want to do and your own rules.
Love isn't self-centered as you have displayed in your five reasons. Your love isn't about YOU at all, it's about HER - the girl you loved. Those girls must be horribly traumatise and terrified by your possessive nature. Of course they will and must reject you.
I hope you won't be surprised if I tell you there are many guys like you around and also many guys who are better than you around.
So what makes you think the girl you liked should choose you and not the other guys like you and many other guys who are better than you?
One tip for you, if you really love a girl, you should treat the girl like YOU, and how you want to love yourself.
If you really love the girl, SHE's more important than YOU. And so if you really have to be a self-centered person, make sure SHE get more self-centered love and attention than YOU.
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Originally posted by parn:
Hmm...you need to understand my post first before you reply your misunderstood nonsense. I did not mention that the confession will be 100% successful if you have the courage to confess, it's made up by your imagination or your intentions to misunderstand my post or simply by your poor understanding of my post and the language.From the five reasons that you have given, I can understand why you were rejected. The five reasons that you have given only shows one thing, YOU, YOU and YOU. It's alll about satisfying and fulfilling what YOU want to do and your own rules.
Love isn't self-centered as you have displayed in your five reasons. Your love isn't about YOU at all, it's about HER - the girl you loved. Those girls must be horribly traumatise and terrified by your possessive nature. Of course they will and must reject you.
I hope you won't be surprised if I tell you there are many guys like you around and also many guys who are better than you around.
So what makes you think the girl you liked should choose you and not the other guys like you and many other guys who are better than you?
One tip for you, if you really love a girl, you should treat the girl like YOU, and how you want to love yourself.
If you really love the girl, SHE's more important than YOU. And so if you really have to be a self-centered person, make sure SHE get more self-centered love and attention than YOU.
parn, once again the judgemental one.
I think I said, "I would have". (I have a feeling you are going to say that it is all just about me again.) Did I mentioned anyone else? The key word here is "I". I do not apply the same standards to everyone in the universe simply because I think it should be so. I believe that there are no constants or absolutes in this universe. A concept which you might have to read up on given the fact that you judge so quickly.
Now my dear parn, please dun be judgemental.(again) I never did at any one point in the discussion show you my score board. So what made you think I was rejected all the time? As a matter of fact I have a pretty high score rate but then there is no proof of that to you, so let's not dwell on my success. We are afterall here to discuss about the failure of others.
If I gave you the impression of a self-centred and possessive lover in anyway through my posts, I would have to apologise for my lack of self-expression here. You are welcomed to read some of my previous love stories if it is of any interest to you. Those who knows me in this forum can say alot more about myself than I can.
Oh and some correction to your theories on love. Or rather, I would say a different point of view. From what you have said, I dun think you have really love before, so far you have only been loved(or hated, I would not know.) In a REAL relationship, loving someone the way you said would most probably burnt out the person doing all the loving in a very short time. Either that or the person would be horribly hurt when it does not work out. The idea of being in a relationship is not to just give or just take, it is to share a relationship. Does the simple pharse "Working a Relationship together" means anything to you? I'm not really in the best of moods to type out the whole theory now, but again, if you are interested to know please read my article on this issue. If I were to re-write everything here, people will start to complain that I write too long for this forum again.
Lastly, to answer your question.
So what makes you think the girl you liked should choose you and not the other guys like you and many other guys who are better than you?
I dun think there are many guys like me. And most importantly even if there are guys like me, they are still a notch below me. For guys who are better than me(which is rare), the girl should make the wisest choice and choose them instead, provided that they want her. I would if I am the girl in question so why should I stop her from doing something I would? Yes, I know you are thinking I'm a man with a big ego. But I just like to think of it as confidence. Something which I think most guys here lacks. Does that answer your question? I think not, because you have already judge me by asking me this question.
Oh by the way, I am a REAL person in this forum. People here have seen me and they know me in person. Some here have known me for the past 10 years. So if I were to say anything that is not in conjunction to what I believe in or practice, I would be gunned down horribly by hordes of flame. So you dun have to doubt the credibility on what I've said, it is all just words right from my heart.
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Originally posted by parn:
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Originally posted by parn:
IF what you're saying is true, then how come so many guy and girl managed to become a couple.Have you found your ans yet?
cuz they Yaya yourmama?
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where did parn go? Is she missing because school started?
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There's this guy..initially can talk quite a lot with him..very caring..then started going out for dinner and movies with him..after about 9 months decided to tell him my feelings..took so much courage to tell him..in the end no response..he just said din knw I liked him..really felt like a fool..
Don't like say don't like lor..can say we are still friends or what..now..no more contact...been a month after telling him..a bit regret telling him in the first place..so sad now...like not even friends..y are guys like that??
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cos boys dont know what a girl thinks about him and are scared of getting rejected. Worst is that we dont communicate ever again and end up as a bachelor until death. I really hope there is something which tells us what a girl thinks
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If after confession, girl did not respond..how? positive or negative?
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Originally posted by Jojo_123:
There's this guy..initially can talk quite a lot with him..very caring..then started going out for dinner and movies with him..after about 9 months decided to tell him my feelings..took so much courage to tell him..in the end no response..he just said din knw I liked him..really felt like a fool..
Don't like say don't like lor..can say we are still friends or what..now..no more contact...been a month after telling him..a bit regret telling him in the first place..so sad now...like not even friends..y are guys like that??
You only confessed after 9 months??!? Isn't that like a bit long for a fast moving society like this? In those 9 months, did you not know that he is already most probably not interested? If your confession is in hope of moving into something more than friendship, you should have considered the fact that he must be interested in the first place.
If he has stop contacting you, it is most probably because you scare him off. Give him some room and start dating other guys, if he happens to see you with other more attractive guys, he might see you in a different light and want to be friends again. Jealousy and pride are great motivators for men.
