Friendship problems =(
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I have this very good friend, whom i have known 10+ years.. Somehow, our friendship is just like that.. Gone.. She started accusing me of being not truthful to her.. making use of her when i cant think of any circumstances...
Here's how it all started...
It's after 'A's and we were looking for jobs so as not to waste our time.. then i got this job and i kinda find that job enjoyable.. Somehow.. She got to know someone from my workplace (i dunno who).. She refuse to tell and i didnt really bother cos i dun think it is of any importance..
Then since we were getting into uni, we attended an orientation camp tgt.. But somehow she kinda avoided me during the camp.. *Not sure is it due to me being too close to her "senior" partner* After the end of the camp, we took some photos.. using my camera cos she didnt bring hers.. The pics wasnt very well taken.. Then one of the seniors asked the pic from me and i send it to him.. then since the OG has a practice to put up the pics folder on the net, i did it as well.. And my friend got super angry.. saying that i put up her pics without her permission.. And after that.. she posted a very long blog entry (invited me and another close friend to read).. Giving me names.. Insulting me.. And said she would be nice not to disclose any of my evil thoughts?!
Since then, we never contact each other.. After a month of thought... This incident just keep "haunting" me.. What should i do? =(
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talk to her, say u treasure her friendship and would like to clarify the photo posting incident with her.
and if the friendship is really that impt to you, just apologise nicely to her no matter if u think u r right or wrong loh.
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clarify and apologise lor
probbably shes over sensitive on the uploading her pics on the internet
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well i dont have much advice to give. but i just wanted to say that i sympathise with you.. its hard enough transiting from jc to uni.. and to do so with the loss of a close friend makes it even harder..
take heart, and know that there is still a good future out there!
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Originally posted by Ferret:
.and if the friendship is really that impt to you, just apologise nicely to her no matter if u think u r right or wrong loh.
You seems to have no clue of what is going on. She could have misinterperted your behaviour. There could also be a hidden agenda that we don't know of. Perhaps, you can try to find out from a third party's friend.
Btw i don't agreed with Ferret. Sometime, it has to be reasonable.
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Look at it this way.
Once you are in the unis, you will be boozing and partying your life away.
You won't have time to blog or call people stupid names.
Really.
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Originally posted by Isis:
You seems to have no clue of what is going on. She could have misinterperted your behaviour. There could also be a hidden agenda that we don't know of. Perhaps, you can try to find out from a third party's friend.
Btw i don't agreed with Ferret. Sometime, it has to be reasonable.
...... ts said she was upset abt the abrupt loss of friendship.
sometimes friendships are lost when ppl move on. sometimes they are lost through misunderstandings.
there were already signs that her friendship was ending but she kinda struck it out.
and then her friendship suddenly culminated over the photos incident.
so from what i infer, is that TS is deliberating over whether or not to save the 10 years of friendship.
after all, she already knew that there was something else going wrong between her and her friend. but u dont just let go of a 10 years friendship without an answer, thats why its haunting her.
sometimes with friends, there isnt right or wrong. thats why i said if you treasure the friendship, just apologise. after all, saying sorry is easier than having years of regret.
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Originally posted by Ferret:
...... ts said she was upset abt the abrupt loss of friendship.
sometimes friendships are lost when ppl move on. sometimes they are lost through misunderstandings.
there were already signs that her friendship was ending but she kinda struck it out.
and then her friendship suddenly culminated over the photos incident.
so from what i infer, is that TS is deliberating over whether or not to save the 10 years of friendship.
after all, she already knew that there was something else going wrong between her and her friend. but u dont just let go of a 10 years friendship without an answer, thats why its haunting her.
sometimes with friends, there isnt right or wrong. thats why i said if you treasure the friendship, just apologise. after all, saying sorry is easier than having years of regret.
From what i see reasonable apology could be: sorry for uploading ur picture w/o permission. One don't have to take in all the rake, despite one's intention was for the sake of saving the friendship. Apologise what you deem was wrong. You can choose to take in all the rake and hope your friend forget it. However, there is obviously some sorts of deep misunderstanding and i think in the end, she might have to apologise to you too or maybe not. Oh well, this also depends on her maturity and whether she want to treasure the friendships.
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It's kind of hard to ask from a third party as the next closest is actually my ex.. And most likely she would ignore him.. The other close friends did not went for the whole camp thingy and only me and her met up frequently like twice a week.. so.. i find it hard for them to help me find out what she's angry bout as well..
Actually.. After the blog incident.. immediately responded via email (which i'm not sure she read it or not) She didnt reply..
Anyway, i send her a 5 "pages" long sms to apologise since yesterday morning.. till now i havent gotten any reply.. I did include that i'm waiting for her reply.. Does this mean that she just wanna end our friendship this manner?
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wah got to be kidding me de.. go into uni, so old yet still like secondary kids de.. tsk tsk..
anyway, communication is always important in any relationships/friendships.. so i suggest, have a chat with her to clear the air. if not, write a long mail or something.. just to clear the air.. and make known that u treasure ur friendship with her a lot to just lose it like that.. =) gd luck..