The stupid gal
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Originally posted by BrUtUs:
FYI hes not gonna come back... tis type of crap u also wan? believe u deserve better gal.. already got NEW gf liao so time to cut ur losses... dun be the stupid gal tat u labelled urself...Actually deep in my heart i know i know he's not gonna come back. I know if i love him i have to let go. But it's really easier to say but hard to do.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Actually deep in my heart i know i know he's not gonna come back. I know if i love him i have to let go. But it's really easier to say but hard to do.
Ofcors it's difficult.
That only means that you are a human being with feelings. And your heart is not made of stone.
Give yourself some time to grieve.
Cry yourself to sleep. Scream and punch into your pillows.
Once you've gotten it outa your system.. you'd be good as new.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Yes. I know it's time to move on i want to move on also but i can't stop thinking i donno why. I tried accepting other guys but i can't. When i go out with other guys i felt guilty. Thinking if i really accept another guy what if he comes back.
then is time for you to forget about him, why still think to much about him if you want to move on? To move on you have to completely forget about him, and not expecting him to come back to you. -
Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Actually deep in my heart i know i know he's not gonna come back. I know if i love him i have to let go. But it's really easier to say but hard to do.
ya say is easy... so u need to take actions else u will continue trap in the web... seriously hes probably laughing at u in tis state... even tho ur 1st attempt to move on din quite go well but tis time get the right frens(do a gd session to purge everything out) to help u... -
I miss the times we had. The joy we once shared and the unhappiness where we hold hand in hand to go through. The dreams we both shared. Remembering the times when we have got so excited about getting our own flat. Planning our future. All the things he had done for me.
When we were together he was still serving NS, we gone through alot of difficult times. All the quarrel we had makes us stronger each time. I don understand why couldn't we go through this time.
He was very good to me when we are together. Not that he did not care, i guess i just took him for granted at times. I regret my doings but i know there wun be such a time for me to make up my wrong doings.
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4 yrs plus is neither long nor short; but if he's a person u have been turning to for all ur problems etc, it will be difficult to get 'accustomed' to the fact that he's no longer around.
It's not surprising that it's been a year, yet u still commented that U can't let go.
I went through a life of booze and ktv and tears when my bf of 1.5yrs broke off with me; for two yrs, I blamed myself for the break up; although frankly anyone can tell me he's actually at fault, we broke up when I realised he had more than one gf, apart from me.
We can all advise u on what to do, give u comments etc, but ultimately, u are the only person to help urself out of this situation.
Friends and family do play a part in helping u 'cope', rather than listening to others saying wat a jerk that guy is, and reminding u of him again and again via the scoldings, y not try telling ppl dun speak of him again?
Any gifts from him which u stil kept? Throw~~ Things will remind you of him. I throw throw everything of wat he gives away, for those new ones and usable, I donated to charity. Photos? Throw too~~
Ask urself, is he worth u going thru all this? If ur ans is 'no', u should know it's time to let go, get on with ur life.
Don't have a regret of not being able to let go now a few years later. Cos when I thot of that 2 yrs of booze and ktv and tears, I thot I was simply ridiculous.
Different individuals have different ways of release; do wat u normally do to release. Have a real ultimate release of all ur feelings, frustrations etc, cry ur hearts out, BUT the next day tell urself it's all over, carry on with ur life W/O him anywhere near.
Remember, after a stormy day, it's always a brand new sunny day.
All things are never easy in the first place, but if u tried hard enuff, u'll see the bright sunny day.
Jia You!
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Originally posted by BrUtUs:
ya say is easy... so u need to take actions else u will continue trap in the web... seriously hes probably laughing at u in tis state... even tho ur 1st attempt to move on din quite go well but tis time get the right frens(do a gd session to purge everything out) to help u...Yes i know. He must be so happy laughing at me and showing off to his gf that i am still here greiving over our relationship that is past and means nothing to him.
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
4 yrs plus is neither long nor short; but if he's a person u have been turning to for all ur problems etc, it will be difficult to get 'accustomed' to the fact that he's no longer around.
It's not surprising that it's been a year, yet u still commented that U can't let go.
I went through a life of booze and ktv and tears when my bf of 1.5yrs broke off with me; for two yrs, I blamed myself for the break up; although frankly anyone can tell me he's actually at fault, we broke up when I realised he had more than one gf, apart from me.
We can all advise u on what to do, give u comments etc, but ultimately, u are the only person to help urself out of this situation.
Friends and family do play a part in helping u 'cope', rather than listening to others saying wat a jerk that guy is, and reminding u of him again and again via the scoldings, y not try telling ppl dun speak of him again?
Any gifts from him which u stil kept? Throw~~ Things will remind you of him. I throw throw everything of wat he gives away, for those new ones and usable, I donated to charity. Photos? Throw too~~
Ask urself, is he worth u going thru all this? If ur ans is 'no', u should know it's time to let go, get on with ur life.
Don't have a regret of not being able to let go now a few years later. Cos when I thot of that 2 yrs of booze and ktv and tears, I thot I was simply ridiculous.
Different individuals have different ways of release; do wat u normally do to release. Have a real ultimate release of all ur feelings, frustrations etc, cry ur hearts out, BUT the next day tell urself it's all over, carry on with ur life W/O him anywhere near.
Remember, after a stormy day, it's always a brand new sunny day.
All things are never easy in the first place, but if u tried hard enuff, u'll see the bright sunny day.
Jia You!
Yes i still keep everything from him. So many and too many. All the photos. I still have his photo in my wallet now. When i first break up with him i keep it away telling myself i should forget i even save all the photos from my com to a disc so that i wun get to see but i wanna keep as memories but again as time goes by it's back in my wallet, and now the ring he bought is back on my finger. I know i shouldn't but i tell myself i will remove it one day when i found a very good reason to.
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Dang.. I really feel ur pain.. Goosebumps as I read your post.. 4 years maybe just a time to some but it is long enough to filled your memories with such things. At my 5th year last year, I was almost in the same scenario as you but yours gotta hurt more because, he "cheated" on you. So I can really feel some of the pain your feeling and I know that some of the forumners here are willing to share the sorrow.
Your not a useless girl. For loving someone and be faithful, that is something which not many can achieve. As hard as it can be, you have to first convince yourself that memories are just memories and it should be worth just a reminiscing sigh. You gotta pick up the pieces of your life and move on. Fill your days with activities to keep your mind of him. Meet and make new friends. Spend more fun times with existing friends. Its the only way to help ease the pain. Time heals all wound eventually and that is a very true fact but problem is how long? Only yourself can decide. We can't decide for you. But do go out with friends and fill up ur time.
I wish you all the best. God bless and be strong. Go for it! ^^
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Take a step back & look at the present situation. Wat's the point of lookin back when one has oready made his move? He left u by choice, be clear of that. Now, he is makin use of u & u totally aware of that. U can by all means stay in the past & be at his beck & call or u dominate ur own life w/o a jerk like him.
If u choose the former, then by all means & get urself be mentally tortured. Dun wail wat u hav choosen. Otherwise, get ur butt off the floor & throw the jerk back to where he belongs - trashbin, together with his newly found trash love.
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I Will Survive
At first I was afraid I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong.
And I grew strong!
And I learned how to get along!
So now you're back from out of space.
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.
I should have changed that stupid lock!
I should have made you leave your key!
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
Go on now, go, walk out that door!
Just turn around now‚
cause you're not welcome any more.
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt (crush) me with goodbye?
Did I crumble
Did I lay down and die
Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh and as long as I know how to love I know I stay alive.
I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give.
And I'll survive!
I will survive! Hey, hey.
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart.
Kept tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart!
And I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry!
But now I hold my head up high.
And you see me somebody new!
I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you.
And so you feel like droppin' in,
and just expect me to be free,
now I'm saving all my loving for someone who is loving me!
Go on now...Youtube Video here if you wanna hear the music
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Originally posted by dinky1409:
Dang.. I really feel ur pain.. Goosebumps as I read your post.. 4 years maybe just a time to some but it is long enough to filled your memories with such things. At my 5th year last year, I was almost in the same scenario as you but yours gotta hurt more because, he "cheated" on you. So I can really feel some of the pain your feeling and I know that some of the forumners here are willing to share the sorrow.
Your not a useless girl. For loving someone and be faithful, that is something which not many can achieve. As hard as it can be, you have to first convince yourself that memories are just memories and it should be worth just a reminiscing sigh. You gotta pick up the pieces of your life and move on. Fill your days with activities to keep your mind of him. Meet and make new friends. Spend more fun times with existing friends. Its the only way to help ease the pain. Time heals all wound eventually and that is a very true fact but problem is how long? Only yourself can decide. We can't decide for you. But do go out with friends and fill up ur time.
I wish you all the best. God bless and be strong. Go for it! ^^
Thank you.
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Originally posted by rainee:
I Will Survive
At first I was afraid I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong.
And I grew strong!
And I learned how to get along!
So now you're back from out of space.
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.
I should have changed that stupid lock!
I should have made you leave your key!
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
Go on now, go, walk out that door!
Just turn around now‚
cause you're not welcome any more.
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt (crush) me with goodbye?
Did I crumble
Did I lay down and die
Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh and as long as I know how to love I know I stay alive.
I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give.
And I'll survive!
I will survive! Hey, hey.
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart.
Kept tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart!
And I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry!
But now I hold my head up high.
And you see me somebody new!
I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you.
And so you feel like droppin' in,
and just expect me to be free,
now I'm saving all my loving for someone who is loving me!
Go on now...Youtube Video here if you wanna hear the music
Thank you so much for sharing such a meaningful song with me. I hope i can survive.
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sighh.. matters of the heart.. no need to attach for that long.. as long as got feelings, sometimes parting is such a pain and torture..
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Thank you so much for sharing such a meaningful song with me. I hope i can survive.
No problem :) I used to be in this situation, my useless ex was flirting with another girl behind my back and broke up with me to get together with her a few days later. At first I had thought I would not be able to get over it, but I did, with the help of friends and the forumites here of course.
What you need to do is to stay far, far away from him. Cut him out from your life altogether. If his number is still in your phone, erase it. Better still if you can change your phone number altogether and don't give him your new number. If he is in your MSN, block him. You get the idea.
It is easier to get over someone if he is out of your sight. It might be painful to do in the beginning, but you will be thankful you did in the long run. If I didn't do all these last time, I would not be able to meet another guy who is much much better than my ex, and is also my husband now
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Originally posted by RedizAlertz:
Take a step back & look at the present situation. Wat's the point of lookin back when one has oready made his move? He left u by choice, be clear of that. Now, he is makin use of u & u totally aware of that. U can by all means stay in the past & be at his beck & call or u dominate ur own life w/o a jerk like him.
If u choose the former, then by all means & get urself be mentally tortured. Dun wail wat u hav choosen. Otherwise, get ur butt off the floor & throw the jerk back to where he belongs - trashbin, together with his newly found trash love.
Yes, i know he left me by choice. I wasn't his choice at all. I guess that gal must be so good so better off than me. Even all the things she had done she is still so worth loved, i know no point finding who's fault is it now but i don understand what have i done so wrong to deserve all this?
I hate to become so pathetic.
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Originally posted by rainee:
No problem :) I used to be in this situation, my useless ex was flirting with another girl behind my back and broke up with me to get together with her a few days later. At first I had thought I would not be able to get over it, but I did, with the help of friends and the forumites here of course.
What you need to do is to stay far, far away from him. Cut him out from your life altogether. If his number is still in your phone, erase it. Better still if you can change your phone number altogether and don't give him your new number. If he is in your MSN, block him. You get the idea.
It is easier to get over someone if he is out of your sight. It might be painful to do in the beginning, but you will be thankful you did in the long run. If I didn't do all these last time, I would not be able to meet another guy who is much much better than my ex, and is also my husband now
Wow i admire your courage to put down and move on. I will try i know it will be better, i have the support of my friends and family and i know they care and love me loads but sometimes i feel it's a burden to keep repeating about this person who to them now is someone they detest.
I have his number in my hp. Even if i did not stored it there it's always in my mind. A number that i am so used to call. Hard to forget you see? Maybe i rely too much on him. I spend most of my time with him and have no time at all for friends but luckily i still have them there when i needed them most.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Wow i admire your courage to put down and move on. I will try i know it will be better, i have the support of my friends and family and i know they care and love me loads but sometimes i feel it's a burden to keep repeating about this person who to them now is someone they detest.
I have his number in my hp. Even if i did not stored it there it's always in my mind. A number that i am so used to call. Hard to forget you see? Maybe i rely too much on him. I spend most of my time with him and have no time at all for friends but luckily i still have them there when i needed them most.
the first move is to delete that number from your handphone. -
Originally posted by cuddles:
the first move is to delete that number from your handphone.Yes. I know and have deleted.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Yes, i know he left me by choice. I wasn't his choice at all. I guess that gal must be so good so better off than me. Even all the things she had done she is still so worth loved, i know no point finding who's fault is it now but i don understand what have i done so wrong to deserve all this?
I hate to become so pathetic.
Then STOP being pathetic. U give urself a period of time to do some serious wallowin/crying/lamentin/hating/self-pityin. Aftertat, wipe all tears & move on.
It's part & parcel of life learning - u'll lose, u'll learn. It's not the end of the world.
Jus think, which is worst? The one who loves u but left u forever or the one who u wish to be with doesnt love u anymore? Be glad he is out of ur life & get ur pieces back together soon..
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Wow i admire your courage to put down and move on. I will try i know it will be better, i have the support of my friends and family and i know they care and love me loads but sometimes i feel it's a burden to keep repeating about this person who to them now is someone they detest.
I have his number in my hp. Even if i did not stored it there it's always in my mind. A number that i am so used to call. Hard to forget you see? Maybe i rely too much on him. I spend most of my time with him and have no time at all for friends but luckily i still have them there when i needed them most.
If you feel it is a burden to keep talking to your friends or family, you can keep a journal or blog where you can talk about your pain, or even curse him to death, rant about it or even write a beautiful poem through your experience.
As about the number, you have to resist calling him no matter what. And whenever he calls you now, just ignore the call. Do not ever go out with him when his girlfriend is not around. In this way, he will only see you as a "spare tire" and will never come to respect you.
Show him that you can live on well without him!
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Yes. I know and have deleted.
Great, you have just taken the first step to self-respect/independence
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Originally posted by rainee:
If you feel it is a burden to keep talking to your friends or family, you can keep a journal or blog where you can talk about your pain, or even curse him to death, rant about it or even write a beautiful poem through your experience.
As about the number, you have to resist calling him no matter what. And whenever he calls you now, just ignore the call. Do not ever go out with him when his girlfriend is not around. In this way, he will only see you as a "spare tire" and will never come to respect you.
Show him that you can live on well without him!
Yes i have been keeping a blog ever since then. I think that is where i can dump all my rubbish.
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Originally posted by rainee:
Great, you have just taken the first step to self-respect/independence
I know i seem to have no self-respect. Like so cheap since he has chosen to leave but i still keep holding on to him.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
I know i seem to have no self-respect. Like so cheap since he has chosen to leave but i still keep holding on to him.
If you are the one who dump him.. you'd be feeling very different.