Opinions from guys (or girls) point of view?
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You should look into yourself 1st, base on the way you treat him, like throw temper without reason, who? or should i say which guy will fall for YOU?
And you girls dont even know how it feels like to be in the army, such as cant use handset.. and you think it's his problem.. zz.. i've been to field camps like 3 days 2 nights and the moment i reach camp jump down from the 5 ton, i ask permission to make a few calls 1st, and the girl also never pick up, i smsed nv reply.. so can i blame her??
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Originally posted by newcomer:
a girl said the exact same thing to me, u think she like me anot? or girls just like to ask this type of qns to any guys they know?Hmm, if you ask me, i'll say she's serious?
Unless the girl is a player in the field, if not, girls wont actually go around confessing.
That's my two penny thought. How do you think of my situation then? :)
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Originally posted by R-emo:
I guess at times, 'Simplicity is the beauty'.
But just wondering, do you think it'll be possible in the future? Hmm~or maybe he's just NOT ready for a r/s with me ONLY?
*R-emo went off pondering*
Not that i cant accept a pure friendship. In fact i think it's pretty good too. Someone to confide in & talk crap with when upset/bored.
I always have this mentality - 'Having a boyfriend/girlfriend = losing a good friend'. Afterall, sometimes there're 'secrets' that you can share with a normal friend, but not bf/gf. Maybe just not to spoil the image of yourself to your other half.
Thanks for replying :)
There is nothing you can hide from him if he becomes your other half. I mean, if he does become your other half, I assume you are talking about ever after? Even if you try to hide, most stuff will come out into the open after a while, bad habit and whatnots. So there is no such thing about spoiling your image...actually the true test of love is to see whether your other half can accept all your flaws, bad habits, etc. It is not easy to let them see it, because of this fear, this I know cos I am still learning to let go as well.
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Originally posted by CrabbyShaSha:
Whatever it is, it is plain clear that he is not ready. Your best hedge is to move on. If it is meant to be, it will be. You've done what you could. You might have a higher probability liking someone else who's available later on. Who knows.
Yup, i've done what i could. At least i've no regrets already. I already have the 'either now or never' thinking. If i didnt confess then, i'll most likely never pluck up the courage to confess again. I might just fall deeper & ended up suffering alone. At least i know his reply.
And yes, the future is unknown. Maybe it'll just happen like what you say later on. Nobody knows. Haha. Thanks for the reply :D
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Originally posted by deathmaster:
i think he most probably likes you. just that he isn't in a state of mind ready for having you as gf. ask him what is his issue. may be because he want to study uni, work etc before going steady with anyone.
since you alr made the first step to confess to him, may as well go a little further to check out his reason for rejecting you.
Initially i did thought of asking him further. Since he actually choose to consider, he might have something in his mind which i'm not aware of. However, he doesnt seems to want to talk about it so i decided not to question further.
Guess it's just me. I dont like to push people too much. It's their decision/choice/privacy, & i respect that.
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Originally posted by bizzkit0102:
No offence to any religion but really, are we living in the age of dinosaurs or something? If guy and girl don't ever hang out 1 on 1, then how is anybody going to ever date or get married and develop feelings for each other? If he says he doesn't want premarital sex or something like that then its ok lah.Personally I think the guy is just trying to diss you off by saying such things and bringing religion into play is just one of the approaches he is using to accomplish his goal. Perhaps you should move on and keep your options open.
Anyway, on a sidenote. That bugger don't know how lucky he is sia. I want to go out 1 on 1 with girl also no chance yet sia.
My other friends with the same belief as him, either guys or girls, all think that it's not appropriate to go out one-on-one. They always make it an attempt to be at least threesome to go out together. So i guess to them, it's just normal.Personally, i think it's perfectly fine to go out one-on-one, & i do that alot of times, with both guys & girls friends. I mean, just friends what. Nothing will happen anyway. The friendship is just pure & simple :)
I do have closer girlfriends, who's not of the same belief, think that i shouldnt actually head out with guys one-on-one. However, like i've mentioned, i think it's perfectly fine, so, yea.
And yup, i never keep my options close before, haha. Thanks for the reply :)
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Originally posted by Hanagata:
just give you and the guy more time and see how.
Yup, not rushing into things. We're still young :) -
Originally posted by rainee:
Yea, I also find that part amusing lolz. So far I have friends from all sort of religion but haven't heard them talking about their religion barring them from hanging out one to one with the opposite gender. Or does he mean hang out one to one as in at home? First few dates dun need to stay at home ma, there are so many malls in Spore, can pick one and go there to walk around.
I think TS should read the book, "I am just not that into you". If a guy is serious about going out with you, no excuses will hold him back.
I'm too was not quite used to their practise of not hanging out one-on-one when i first interacted with them. But i respect their choice though i still hang out with other guys outside one-on-one. It's not like, 'barring'. They just think it's not very appropriate.
And nono, i wouldnt think of going to some guys house when first meet out. It's just, doesnt seems right. Dont really leave a good impression, you see. Not that i mind personally, i just dont want others to have bad impression of me like, 'too loose' or something, yea.
Ha, is that book available in library? I'm interested to read it, haha.
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ah boy dun like u..
if he likes u..he will grab hold of every singly opportunity to talk to you..
if not, will definitely take the initiative to call / SMS whenever he has a chance..
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Originally posted by R-emo:
I'm too was not quite used to their practise of not hanging out one-on-one when i first interacted with them. But i respect their choice though i still hang out with other guys outside one-on-one. It's not like, 'barring'. They just think it's not very appropriate.
And nono, i wouldnt think of going to some guys house when first meet out. It's just, doesnt seems right. Dont really leave a good impression, you see. Not that i mind personally, i just dont want others to have bad impression of me like, 'too loose' or something, yea.
Ha, is that book available in library? I'm interested to read it, haha.
You can try searching the library catalogue for it...If you have time, read Mars and Venus on a Date as well...
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ur story is too long. but i got the gist of it. u are desperate. i will never like any girl who confesses to me. nice try. normally girls who confess are ugly.
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Originally posted by newcomer:
this is called ai mei, you won't understand de lah. are you a man/
I'm a girl, not yet a woman. But I can assure you, that even boy like you who are not a man yet....still comes out from a woman.As man were first created by GOD, and then followed by woman.
Didn't you realised that woman were the latest version of human, compared to man...who's probably an outdated version of human?
OMG....did I just slam guys again? Sigh...I'm soooooo honest hor......
Flame on guys! Time to fight for your manhood once again, but it's going to be against.......LOL!!!
Oh ya...by the way, I still loves guys.
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stick to topic...
dun spoil ppl's thread lah...
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Originally posted by GHoST_18:
stick to topic...
dun spoil ppl's thread lah...
x2...
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Originally posted by GHoST_18:
stick to topic...
dun spoil ppl's thread lah...
You are a wise one, didn't reply to my post.Please pass on your wisdom to the rest.
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why u say me until lidat...
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Originally posted by R-emo:
Hi all, a new-comer here. Just hope to hear some opinions from guys (or girls) point of view with regards to the situation.
Before i go into anything, i'll just state my belief first.
I'm sure alot out there heard of this before: In life, there'll always be three people in your life. The one you love the most. The one that love you the most. And the one that you eventually end up with. Most of the time, they wont be the same person. And if he/she is, congrats :)
Ok, do pardon the length. Here goes.
I came to know of this guy, let's name him, W, last year. To me, he's just a normal friend then. We message occassionally. Sometimes daily, depends if there's anything to chat about or not. (By the way, he's in ns now)
He'd kind of accompanied me through some highs & lows in life, since i'll pretty much message him when i'm bored. So it kind of becomes a 'habit' to message him. This 'habit' pretty much lasted for a year.
He's shy in person, but pretty lame when messaging. We'd never gone out together before. Not one-on-one (due to his religious belief that guy & girl shouldnt hang out one-on-one, & i respect that), neither in a group. I did see him once in a blue moon when there's service. But nothing else from there.
As a friend, i'm guilty but to say, i've flare up at him alot of times with some trivial things. I'll ignore his messages & even treating him invisible in person. Then when i shimmer down a few days later, i'll just message him as per normal like nothing ever happens.
But all the while, he'd never, NEVER ever get angry with me before. This really amaze me. Seriously, even at times i find myself really unreasonable & i cannot stand myself. I really wonder how he manage to bear with me. He told me that he'd been a pretty short-tempered person. But he'd learn not to get angry easily.
I dont know. I think that pretty much started things? I mean, which friends dont quarrel? Who wont hurl hurtful remarks at each other when angry? He never did. And slowly, lately, i realised i started to develop feeling for him, STRANGELY ENOUGH. Since he doesnt really fall into the catgory of the type of guy i'll fall for. It's just very mild feeling, but i noticed it.
I still remembered i once told him, i wanted a 'house-husband'. Someone who would do the housework. And he replied that he's fine with doing housework. And though he dont know how to cook, he's willing to learn. He seems like the 'perfect' guy for me. I have to say, as i've earlier stated, i believe he'll fall into the third category. The one that i'll hope to end up with eventually, since, like i say, the feeling is very mild. And i know he wont be the one i'm going to love most. But i think up till date, he's the one that suit me the most.
As i'm really afraid to fall deeper & get rejection (yes, i agreed i'm selfish), i decided to 'test water'. So just when i realise i've feeling for him, a day or two later, i decided to confess. But just in case, i 'tested water' the whole day. So i asked him if he'll accept a girl if she confessed. He replied that it'll depends on who she is, & i was like 'but if you dont like dont even need to depends what? just reject', which he agreed upon. After which he just stopped replying, saying that he doesnt feel really comfortable talking about bgr matters.
That's it. I've the 'do it now or never' mentality. So i just confessed, via sms. I didnt really goes to him with 'i-like-you' kind of thing. But i just do it my way which he understands anyway. He was stunned. And told me he'll give me an answer soon. Which he did next day afternoon. He rejected me saying that he dont intend to go into a r/s now or anytime soon. To avoid any awkward & continue to be friend, & to be truthful, i just told him that i'm not really serious & the feeling is really mild & i was just being really random & laugh it off.
Right now, we're back into the friend zone. However, there seems to be a barrier somewhere. Since then, i called him pretty often. Nothing better to do, you see. Just bored, as usual. I assume he's pretty bored too in ns? Assume. There was once when he, too, told me that he thought of me & wanted to call me, but didnt in the end. Anyway, i summarise the story & told a guy friend of mine. Who say that W is just a bastard trying to lead me on. Which i do agree with abit. How can anyone reject a girl already still say will think of her? But i think W is just not such a person? He doesnt seems like. Cause he seems like the pretty good listener & good friend to other friends too.
Anyway, since the confession, we still message as per normal. Most of the sms-es are initiated by me, as usual, but sometimes he'll just message me too. However, lately he hasnt been picking up my calls anymore. Though he'll still message me after that asking if i'd called him & so on. He just say he's not able to, the phone not beside him, he's busy, not convenient in ns, etc. I just absorb everything, with the thinking that he's just avoiding me & refusing to pick up those calls (i guess most will agree with me over here). And well, i just take it as it is.
So the last time i called him was on last Saturday. Which he pick up & didnt bother messaging me back after that. And on Sunday, i decided not to message him. But at night, he messaged to apologise that he's really sorry about not being able to pick up the calls lately, in which, i didnt reply back. We havent been in contact these few days. He didnt bother taking initiative to message me also, neither did i.
So right now, i'm just wondering, what's his stand?
Maybe is just i think too much. But he'd absolutely no interest in me. Fret not, i'm all ready to move on. And in fact i'm not staying at the same spot? At least i dont feel hurt or what.
Just that i'm wondering, what he's actually thinking?
Will you guys be able to give me your two penny thoughts from your point of view?
Thank you very much, and sorry for the lengthy...essay? Apology.
U know...he got stunned when u confessed and then he said he "will give give u an ans soon". In other words, this came as a shock to him, he's unsure of his feelings for u and he needs some time to cool and think about it, in case he makes a wrong decision.Then he says he's not ready for a r/s. That to me, is pretty lame but a gentlemanly reason to tell u "ur not the one".
Ur fren seems to me like a person who forces himself to be calm and collected (well, he seems to be doing quite well). He tries his best to incorporate rationality in his thoughts. Even if he told u he has thought of u.....it seems more like stemming from guilt but definitely not the "bastard leading u on". He seems like a pretty disciplined person.
Oh well anyway, he does seem really difficult to chase cos he doesn't believe in coming out alone with a gal. There are people made for people in this world, so he may well just not be the one "whom u will end up with".
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Originally posted by newcomer:
why u say me until lidat...
I'm sorry. -
kk no probs. :)
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Originally posted by julietta:
he oredi say liao ma he in NS. he jus went in or went in quite long ago liao? u realli think ns so gd ar let u carry the hp ard. somemore in bmt u r nt even allow to carry ur hp wif u lor. u can only use the hp during break and during book out.
NS timetable beri pack 1 whr got time to pick up ur call n immediately sms u. somemore he nv even carry his hp wif u hw to ans. even if he carry the hp wif him i dun think he able to ans ur call as the situtation over there dun allow him to.
NS is tire enuff oredi u shld b give in to him instead of him givin him to u. inside so mani shyt ting to do liao, rest time still muz pamper u, give in to u. whr got such thing 1
He's been in ns since i first known him. About 1+yr already. And from what i know, he does have his phone around him most of the time (nope, i didnt say all the time). And from what he says, he seems to book out pretty often? Hmm~
Yea, i know i'm just not being understanding enough. But you make it sounds like i'm his gf? He has no obligation, nor does he pamper me. He also wont like, give in to me. Instead, he'll just leave me alone to give me time to cool down.
But from a girl's point of view (personal opinion), sometimes guys just leave girls alone TOO MUCH without realising that girls actually hope to be pampered with. (P.S.: nothing to do with this thread, just stating an opinion) They actually thought/want girls to take initiative to contact them when they've cooled down. Which most likely, result in more miscommunication & misunderstanding. Again, it's just my two penny thought.
Thanks for your reply. By the way, i assume you're a guy who'd gone through somewhat like, girl-not-understanding-enough-of-your-ns-life & quarrel with you kind of stuff? Girls are not as difficult to handle as you think :)
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Originally posted by renze:
You should look into yourself 1st, base on the way you treat him, like throw temper without reason, who? or should i say which guy will fall for YOU?
And you girls dont even know how it feels like to be in the army, such as cant use handset.. and you think it's his problem.. zz.. i've been to field camps like 3 days 2 nights and the moment i reach camp jump down from the 5 ton, i ask permission to make a few calls 1st, and the girl also never pick up, i smsed nv reply.. so can i blame her??
I didnt really like, throw temper without reason. It's more like, guys love to make empty promises or sometimes carry the joke abit too far? It's just that when i cool down, i'll regards everything as trival (personal point of view). But at that moment, i'm sure anyone will get angry? Unless he/she is really good tempered. Which i have to admit, i'm not.
Yes, i dont know how it feels like to be in the army. And sorry to admit, i feel for you. Does the girl always do that? If she does, i guess you're pretty much in the same situation as me & she's hinting something.
P.S.: I dont blame him. I just wonder what's his stand & what's he actually thinking.
Nevertheless, thanks for your reply :)
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Originally posted by rainee:
There is nothing you can hide from him if he becomes your other half. I mean, if he does become your other half, I assume you are talking about ever after? Even if you try to hide, most stuff will come out into the open after a while, bad habit and whatnots. So there is no such thing about spoiling your image...actually the true test of love is to see whether your other half can accept all your flaws, bad habits, etc. It is not easy to let them see it, because of this fear, this I know cos I am still learning to let go as well.
How about times when couple quarrel? Anyone will go to friends if they quarrel with their other half, wont they? I mean, if the one you always confide in ended up as the one you quarrel with, what should you do? (ok, just for laughter, maybe can come to AA for solution :P)
Nobody is perfect. Let go bit by bit. I wish you all the best in your r/s :)
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
ah boy dun like u..
if he likes u..he will grab hold of every singly opportunity to talk to you..
if not, will definitely take the initiative to call / SMS whenever he has a chance..
How about me? I like him but I dont grab hold of every single opportunity to talk to him nor anything. I just do what i've done over the past one year, as usual, message/talk to him when i'm bored/have something to talk about. Guess i just dont understand myself well enough.
Thanks for telling me your thoughts.
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Originally posted by R-emo:
How about times when couple quarrel? Anyone will go to friends if they quarrel with their other half, wont they? I mean, if the one you always confide in ended up as the one you quarrel with, what should you do? (ok, just for laughter, maybe can come to AA for solution :P)
Nobody is perfect. Let go bit by bit. I wish you all the best in your r/s :)
Yes, of course can go to friends for advice. I am talking about flaws in yourself, if you want to cover that up from your SO, it is going to be very hard in the long run...
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Originally posted by val.:
ur story is too long. but i got the gist of it. u are desperate. i will never like any girl who confesses to me. nice try. normally girls who confess are ugly.
From what i've heard from GUYS, most guys actually like girls to take initiative.
Blame it on me for being ignorance. But judging from your username, i dont recall seeing any GUYS name that start with val. So if that's the case, telling me you will never like any girl who confesses to you seems like something NORMAL. But then again, if no GUYS name start with val & yours do, if you will like to confess to girl, maybe you reply the wrong thread? Do read the title of this thread again.
Not that i'm against homo, in fact i'll still respect them because they're just being themselves. Nevertheless, i will not respect people who dont respect themselves to start with. And to be frank, even if people like YOU, who want to reply to this thread, they're most welcome because i'll treat all with respect as long as they respect themselves too. And definitely, i'm grateful that people are actually willing to take time to read the thread & reply.
By the way, you say normally. Sadly, most people like to tell me that i'm always the exception. I'm confident of myself, and by confessing, it further prove the point. At least i dont feel upset with my look & have the courage to confess. I wont hide at one side crying over my look, be it good or bad.
Last but not least, not all people are like SOME, who is so SUPERFICIAL & only love the SURFACE. If you fall into that category, i feel for you. You've NEVER love anyone truly.
Do search for the inner beauty of the others. For some may look good on the outside but sucky inside, & vice versa.
Thanks for your reply.