should she?
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wrong. the judge will order the father of the child to pay.
he can try to ignore the judge, of course, but guess what will happen.
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Originally posted by skythewood:
that is the part of the story she want to tell. what really happens, i don't know. don't assume what you read is the whole story.
but simply put, the father of a child has the resposibility to pay for maintainance of the child. there has been cases, and the judge rules in favour of the mother.
remember, assume makes an ass out of u and me.
"the judge rules in favour of the mother"...
but paying or not is another story
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Originally posted by skythewood:
wrong. the judge will order the father of the child to pay.
he can try to ignore the judge, of course, but guess what will happen.
Nothing will happen unless the girl press charges. The guy can be sent to jail for not paying. Maybe not everyone will think like I do... but what's the point? And I will be the cause of it and I will be the one who has to face my ex mother-in-law and the rest of his family. My child will be asking why am I putting his dad to jail...
Anyone get the drift?
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Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
Nothing will happen unless the girl press charges. The guy can be sent to jail for not paying. Maybe not everyone will think like I do... but what's the point? And I will be the cause of it and I will be the one who has to face my ex mother-in-law and the rest of his family. My child will be asking why am I putting his dad to jail...
Anyone get the drift?
yeah. . .
i can somehow sense agony. .
when i was 4++, i remember something lidat happening to my family. .
i can remember myself crying even though i dunno wads going on. . . -
between jail and pay maintainance, guess what most people will choose.
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Originally posted by rainee:
Which guy is not terrified when they are in this kinda situation? Unless already plan to marry and also financially stable...
so i think girls shd pay more attention to what type of guys she hangs out with. the poseurs or the down-to-earth types. -
Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
complication. time. money. agony. drama. fatigue.
Adding up all the plausible suggestions the girl can do within these 15 pages how much can one girl do it all alone without mentally breaking down?
That is also the reason why I didn't sue my ex for maintenance and I know of another divorcee with kid who don't too. It depends on the attitude of the fathers really. If they're really irresponsible and you're time and money-strapped, they know they can get away from it all. And even if you do want to go after them, they'll just play along with you until they wear you out.
Only guys with conscience would adhere to the law and pay their dues accordingly.
It's not easy.
Please refer to quote above.
Yes, he may avoid the jail term FOR NOW after you have caused a lot of drama and bitterness and chaos and stress (which all would be blamed on you, if you are the mother of the child) and "obediently" pay for how long? 2 months? or 3?
What if his payments stopped again? Repeat the above drama A-Z all over again?
It would be so sad if the main highlights of your life is about chasing an irresponsible father for the payment of maintenance fees.
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
She told him that she's pregnant..
The guy told her to go for abortion straight away & she refused..She just told the guy that why should she go through the danger of abortion alone? And, why must she bear the burden alone?
The guy told the girl that his mother will not want the child either..And, he is still struggling to pay for his monthly sch fees..hence..he don't have the cash to get married either..
The girl told the guy that since they created this trouble for themselves..shouldn't they share the responsibility tgt? The guy objected to the idea agressively & even asked the girl if she's going to pay for all those fees (in maintaining the child) if they got married, as he doesn't have any savings at all..
He kept co-ercing the girl to go for abortion in b/w the conversation..
He even told the girl that if she wants to keep the child..so be it..and, that he will give a "monthly maintenance fee" for this child & they shall go their separate ways from there..
The girl requested to meet up with the guy to have a chat...the guy told her : "what's the point of meeting up when he has already made up his mind?..since there's nth to talk abt..we just break up over the phone immediately..."
he even blames the girl for calling him up to tell him about this issue as he was out for a gathering with his friends..
he even said : "that's y..i hate answering calls in the middle of an outing..."
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what kind of f**king attitude is that?..make her pregnant & run away? is that the kind of responsible SG guy that exist nowadays?..should the girl really go for abortion & start afresh? both of them are in their mid 20s..
p.s : is a real incident....
Looking back at this topic now, I suddenly wonder, with the rise of pre-marital sex these days, how many guys are really prepared to marry the girls they are farking around with once they are test pregnant? Don't tell me about contraceptive, it's not 100% effective, condoms, pills whatever. I have a friend who got pregnant in spite of measures.
Alright, assuming precautions have been taken and the girl you had s*x with still got pregnant and she wants a status...
would you marry her?
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one point to note, the court can't make an unemployed man to pay maintenance. maintenance is based on a certain portion of the guy's pay.
in the case of pre-marital pregnancy, where both parties are probably students, it is unlikely that the guy will have any pay for the girl to claim maintenance.
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than too bad. once he start working, BAM!
maintainance money.
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Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
Would someone compile a list of the general characteristics of a good responsible bf just to stark comparisions?
I'll start with mine:
In my point of view, a good man is someone
- who will stand up for the girl when she needs help the most.
- He will be there to comfort her when she asks for it.
- He will show concrete actions by ACTING on what he says.
- He will be consistent.
- He may have all the reasons not to do something for you but you will see him trying to overcome all the "no"s by working hard just for you.
- He will not make you feel insecure or lost.
P/s: In my point of view, this is regardless of family background, education or past, a good man no matter which walk of life he comes from, must have the above qualities.
haha.. i ish have all this characteristics
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Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
Looking back at this topic now, I suddenly wonder, with the rise of pre-marital sex these days, how many guys are really prepared to marry the girls they are farking around with once they are test pregnant? Don't tell me about contraceptive, it's not 100% effective, condoms, pills whatever. I have a friend who got pregnant in spite of measures.
Alright, assuming precautions have been taken and the girl you had s*x with still got pregnant and she wants a status...
would you marry her?
i think i will ba
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wah! didn't login for 1 day only..& so much more insults from that holy crimson priest ah?
LOL...
Btw, this is a true incident & I don't care if some ppl believe it anot (refer back to previous thread from SOMEONE who mentioned that all these info. are based on what this gal's friend aka me said..so might not be true)
AND..don't anyhow insult ppl by accusing her of slping ard (with ur BRAINLESS comment that she might not even know who the father of the child is)
Oh ya..thanks to the moderator for voicing out =D Purpose of this thread is to get suggestive opinions with regards to solutions for my friend..BUT..instead..most are HURTFUL, SNIDE remarks from INSENSITIVE ppl who thinks that they are Mr Know-It-All..
Anyway, just to update (I saw one of you asking for updates in the previous thread)..final decision still remains the same & that she's going to give the guy a last chance..
Hurl more insults if you want..
BUT..do remember that : THIS IS HER LIFE
Learn to respect ppl's decisions
P.S : To that Crimson guy..You mentioned in the previous thread that you detest ppl like me right? Or who encourage friend to "murder" kids blah blah..Well same to you too..I detest ppl like you who thinks that they know it all =D
Another tot of the day : Someone did mentioned before that abortion is made legalized for mothers who wants to abort "abnormal" kids i.e Not of a mental sound.
BUT
think of it this way..shouldn't these so-called "abnormal" kids have a life too? And, how come no one condemns these parents for aborting them?
AND..the reason that these parents resort to abortion is because they know that they CAN'T take care of the kids!
Same case goes for my friend..
*Thanks to all those invaluable advise from some of you =D Useful information!
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
wah! didn't login for 1 day only..& so much more insults from that holy crimson priest ah?
LOL...
Btw, this is a true incident & I don't care if some ppl believe it anot (refer back to previous thread from SOMEONE who mentioned that all these info. are based on what this gal's friend aka me said..so might not be true)
AND..don't anyhow insult ppl by accusing her of slping ard (with ur BRAINLESS comment that she might not even know who the father of the child is)
Oh ya..thanks to the moderator for voicing out =D Purpose of this thread is to get suggestive opinions with regards to solutions for my friend..BUT..instead..most are HURTFUL, SNIDE remarks from INSENSITIVE ppl who thinks that they are Mr Know-It-All..
Anyway, just to update (I saw one of you asking for updates in the previous thread)..final decision still remains the same & that she's going to give the guy a last chance..
Hurl more insults if you want..
BUT..do remember that : THIS IS HER LIFE
Learn to respect ppl's decisions
P.S : To that Crimson guy..You mentioned in the previous thread that you detest ppl like me right? Or who encourage friend to "murder" kids blah blah..Well same to you too..I detest ppl like you who thinks that they know it all =D
Another tot of the day : Someone did mentioned before that abortion is made legalized for mothers who wants to abort "abnormal" kids i.e Not of a mental sound.
BUT
think of it this way..shouldn't these so-called "abnormal" kids have a life too? And, how come no one condemns these parents for aborting them?
AND..the reason that these parents resort to abortion is because they know that they CAN'T take care of the kids!
Same case goes for my friend..
*Thanks to all those invaluable advise from some of you =D Useful information!
story from a friend of a friend?
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Originally posted by skythewood:
story from a friend of a friend?
MY friend =.='''Anyway, will login back aft work..leaving office soon..will defn login back to see what other hurtful insults that holy crimson priest will "throw"..
precisely is becuz of the existence of such ppl...that pro long this whole thread =.='' what i wanted was to find out suggestive ways for my friend..bt instead..got lots of bo liao insults =.='''
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haha, true. it is always the guy's fault.
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Originally posted by xiiaostarry:
MY friend =.='''Anyway, will login back aft work..leaving office soon..will defn login back to see what other hurtful insults that holy crimson priest will "throw"..
precisely is becuz of the existence of such ppl...that pro long this whole thread =.='' what i wanted was to find out suggestive ways for my friend..bt instead..got lots of bo liao insults =.='''
I think u should just leave it to ur friend to deal with it. Judging by the character of the guy, i do not see any clear indication of any future in terms of a marriage life with kids with the girl. Giving the benefit of the doubt maybe after financially able to support a child he then decides to do so, may not necessarily be with the girl, and women who has gone through abortion tend to have child bearing problems in the future because of the process of forced abortion that will injure the internal organs of the girl. Overtime mentally it will affect not only the girl but also any future kid she bears.
Since decision is made already, u can only just watch from the sidelines and with the variety of 'advices' here u will be able to see whose insight was of more sound then others.
Crimsontactics may have strong views about taking another life, but when we talk about life, where does the life begin ? What is considered human life ? Embrio stage ? Fetus stage ? During insemenation ? A disabled kid is definately a human life regardless of the disabilities, even if without a brain. Its been subject to debate for centuries man.. whatever discussed here about life or not is only but a shallow view of things to come. Crimsontactics views are just more aggresively conservative thats all. I wouldve said the same thing... minus the teasing part. I dont think they 'deserve' the be teased.. but they no doubt brought this upon themselves. And hopefully through thier case we all learn a thing or two. Simple.
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Just some general info~~
I have friends who abort their babies cos of 'abnormality'~~
Down syndrome, spinal bifida are jus some of the cases of 'abnormality'~~ These kids normally go for operation at the age of One Day~~There are mothers who actually chose to gave birth to them, hoping that there will be a day of miracle~~
Just like single mums, there are support groups for these mothers to pull one another through~~ E.g Club Rainbow - A club for parents whose kids are down with spinal bifida~~Some didn't; it's not because they don't have the courage~~
It's cos in general circumstances, the kids don't live past the age of 5, as deduced by my friends' gynae, and the medical fees for these 5 years could range to hundreds of thousands of dollars~~ In a way, she chose to abort, save the hundreds of thousands and try for another child, provide for that child in a more comfy way~~If, my friend did gave birth to the baby, and also another who is 'considered normal', she felt she will have difficulty in finance as well as the worry of neglectance towards the 'normal' one~~ Rather than everyone in the family feeling sad, she chose to abort~~
It's never easy to take care of a kid with 'abnormality', cos each visit to the doctor will only make ur heart pump faster as u have totally no idea if it's good news or bad news~~
Some kids are even paralysed waist down for the rest of their lives~~
Very frankly, mothers who chose the path of abortion when they found out that their babies have 'abnormalities' aren't feeling very 'good' about it~~
They are mothers who want the child, who has carried the baby into the second trimester already~~ Imagine when they went for the down syndrome test and the doc told them, yes, ur baby is diagnosed with down syndrome~~ How would they feel?
To want a baby in the initial start of pregancy, the bond has already started, much more than a mother who didn't want a baby at the start of pregnancy~~ To make a decision to abort or not to abort at the second trimester cos of 'abnormalities' is not easy at all~~The stuff which I posted here, all my posts, are things which I have been through and seen~~
Kindly don't compare how a mother with an 'abnormal' kid with one with a 'normal' kid~~ cos the former will definitely have more worries and fears than the latter~~ -
hmm im a single mum the story caught me tho im goin to sleep... well tot it was the same guy..rather similar to my own. i kept the bb....now he is 3 mths old.:) didn wan maintenance hv paid all the way til now. anyway the guy nv offer maintenance nor abortion money ....jus one word abortion. but now...as i hv difficulties am goin to find out abt askin for child maintenance. after readin...a diff perpective...as ya whole life goin to court askin maintenance...well hopefully nt? he is wkin in SAF as a pilot..dun think he will run away?
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when a guy leave u or no longer in love with u.
he will become cold-hearted
unless both of them are still in neutral /good relationship