A lot of problems facing at work currently...... It seems that I'm really having a lot of problems talking with other people as I have never talked a lot with other people about my problems or talked heart to heart because of afraid of being influenced.
The only people which I open up to are two of my old friends which are outside of the place I work.
I'm really troubled and it seems that the job really requires me to talk and be very social and talkative with them, which I can't do well......
u noe ur æ»è¡€, then why u pick this job?
or u are tot u will be able to learn and overcome by using this job?
actually didn't quite know it would end up like this. The company I am working for has got many branches throughout singapore and through the interviews, I was allocated more of lab work.
It actually does cross my mind very often to overcome this problem of my own when I reached that place. To be a better communicator, etc and be able to find things to talk with other people, instead of always just products and results.
then how?
change job? or take up the challenge?
Originally posted by zijian:A lot of problems facing at work currently...... It seems that I'm really having a lot of problems talking with other people as I have never talked a lot with other people about my problems or talked heart to heart because of afraid of being influenced.
The only people which I open up to are two of my old friends which are outside of the place I work.
I'm really troubled and it seems that the job really requires me to talk and be very social and talkative with them, which I can't do well......
not difficult one la .. conversation on topics that isn't about work, but occurs within the context of work is rarely deep, if of any substance at all. who ask you to talk heart-to-heart. not some love hotline you know.
i give you example.
A: "Hey! Mr X hot day yea?"
X: "Yea damn hot ..."
A: "Singapore for you. How was your w'end?"
X: "blah blah blah blah blah"
A: "O RLY? how was it? i was thinking of doing the same"
X: "blah blah blah blah blah"
of course X will also ask A some questions. that's conversation for you. mots important thing is to ghek your smile ... give off that false radiance, and confidence. inside you can be sian but don't let it show.
i tell u another thing, u never want to get too involved with your associates/networks. keep it biz. also coz if they tell you something personal, and you forget, damn malu. example:
X: "I have 3 daughters"
... 2 weeks later ...
A: "hey! how's your son?"
X: ".......... ccb"
I really have a lot of difficulty talking like that at times, especially since I'm an engineer, then always talk about important matters only and really don't notice much about anything else or can't talk cock very well.
I got contemplate changing jobs, and at times I feel that I should go for an environment that is very rushed and packed for work one. And no need to do much social talking one.
Originally posted by zijian:I really have a lot of difficulty talking like that at times, especially since I'm an engineer, then always talk about important matters only and really don't notice much about anything else or can't talk cock very well.
I got contemplate changing jobs, and at times I feel that I should go for an environment that is very rushed and packed for work one. And no need to do much social talking one.
bro trust me it's not difficult. practice with everyone. when you go supermarket, speak to the auntie at checkout - ask her about her day, and let things lead on by themselves.
if you still cannot ... then practice your smile ... i know people give off an aura of happy - it's very disarming, and puts people at ease so the other party is always the one talking, while they're just standing there, smiling and nodding. go to BMW, and watch those pretty SEs .. once in a while, there will be some old uncle who come in, damn yaya .. he will tell the SE, "eh you know ah i got XXXXXX .. but YYYYYYYY" ... watch how the SEs smile, nod and listen but never play to his nonsense, because if they do, he'll keep going on and on and on or worst, ask them "come check out my XXXXX".
running away from the problem does not help
cos in other parts of life, u still need to communicate with ppl
it's a life skill
and if u can overcome this, u have another bonus in ur pocket
communicate with other ppl does not mean u need to be yakking non-stop like radio DJ.....
Just need to show u are listening attentively, respond when required..... and the usual manners and stuff....
eye contact is bery impt...
conversations can be short and simple...
u can type posts here.... u can talk!
I'm not sure leh, but a lot of times I feel that I have to really clean up my language and etc before I talk.
Sometimes I'm pretty depressed but try not to talk about crap in my speech though. It would bother others so.
And sometimes it seems that I have to know a lot about the surroundings so that can talk to others. Also a bit of a show-off, I guess, but trying not to be too proud of a person though.
tts why u need to talk more!
and oso build up ur confidence
reading news may help if u want to engage in a topic with other ppl about the latest news and happenings... if u no want feel "left out" or dunno wat to talk about....
sgforums is a good place to chat and share so u can hang around here more often...
I'll try. It does seems that I'm lonely for most of the time.
I don't talk that much with others though, it seems that all I have done was to just follow the flow and just ended up at a job.
I'm just too much of an introverted, I guess.
it seems that most of what I have been doing is just doing computers and reading books though.
I still cannot understand why it is that most of speech is like unclean? A bit confused on this part.
I got go out clubbing with my relatives before but it is more of that I only accompany them and since they are my relatives, it is ok that I don't talk and I trust them naturally.
They also got talk a lot about women and all the crap stuff like geylang etc. Just that normally I don't talk about those. I know about crap stuff like geylang and heard about them before, didn't participate at all though, lol.
And not so much of a talker when with my relatives, just accompany and find it damn funny.
try changing of environment, will help at times.
wow u just talked a lot..... w/o realising......
Hey, I really want to ask about this problem I have. That is, I seem to have two temperaments. Like one side is very soothing, the other side is very chaotic. I can't seem to handle both of them at all.
When I went over to EDWM to participate in the forum there, and talk about issues, I realized that I talked like this.
"How to handle growing up?
In loads of **** right now. As in can't handle work environment and all I talk about is just crap and ****.
Got do loads of uncluttered **** all around places like knowing about
geylang, pornography all the stupid weird techniques and office
politics.
How to handle growing up and discard all these crap away and be a man liaoz?
And somemore got ego problem also. Damn crappy."
Having loads of difficulty handling these two sides of my personality. Really problematic.
And last time in JC days, I used to be quite dominating in class during lessontime cause I sort of knew more than others and always wanted to outsmart others.
Came army, I had to work alone and against a whole group of other signallers in the army as a storeman.
Now this new environment requires me to cooperate and I really want to handle these problems with myself so that I can work smoothly with others.