Issues with myself. Need help changing them.
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Originally posted by parn:
Your friend is quite spot on I would say.
If you're not crafty, then why you create this stupid clone to come here and post?
You ashamed of your main nick is it?
I say you're crafty cos you chose to hide behind clones....I despise clones. And you can ask your clone buddies to advice you further.
huh, this is my main account. My email is [email protected]
I didn't create a clone to post this
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Originally posted by daigooro:
huh, this is my main account. My email is [email protected]
I didn't create a clone to post this
OHHHHHH.........................I read wrongly.....Sorry.
Ok...let me reply your post.
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Originally posted by parn:
OHHHHHH.........................I read wrongly.....Sorry.Ok...let me reply your post.
haha, its okay~
Hope u can suggest some points that I can change for the better
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Originally posted by daigooro:
Hi all.
I didn't want to use a clone account even though I know many of my friends, and those that dislike me surf SGF, cause I'm really sincere in changing myself.
I had an arguement with my best friend. And he asked me to change, first he said I should ask myself what to change and when I ask him, he said a whole lot of hurting words that are crude and harsh.
I told him I feel offended and I'm really sincere in changing but can would you mind using a less harsh tone? He said, this is the way he is if I don't like it than we be normal friends.
I told him, "hey I'm really sincere in changing, but please don't use so crude words can?"
I don't understand which part of my sentence sounds offensive and maybe it's due to him not feeling well today, but his way of speaking just gives me the feeling that he's venting out whatever unhappiness he has in him.
And one bad habit of mine is I like to say I love my friends alot, like I <3 xxx ah, etc etc and he says he hate that about me. He finds me ah gua-ish and being sissylike. Ok, is that something I should change too?
I don't know what to do now, my life's is in a big mess and now not having my best friend to lend his hand when I need support is something.. demoralising for me..
Can anyone advice me what to do please, or recommand some counselling centres that I can go for that is hopefully free.. I don't have alot of money to spare also.. And lastly is it very sissy to ask for help online.. I rarely see guys ask about friendship but to me I treasure friendship more than relationship cos they'll almost always last.. But this already make me start to lose faith in life and I'm really depress right now.. Just now almost want to take the razor from my cupboard but my mom saw me..
Thanks..
First of all, what kind of support do you need from your friends?They won't give you the support you need just because you demanded/expected them to provide you with what you want.
Friends doesn't lived for you and certainly doesn't need to breath you to stay alive. And I hope you would also do the same too. Being overly dependent on your friends will only make you the burden in the friendship both of you shared.
It's true that an ideal friend is supposed to be always there for you through the highs and lows, ups and downs. But some people are just not brought up with that values in them. Not everybody can be a good partner in relationship, Not everybody can be a good parent to their own child/children, Not everybody can be successful, Not everybody can sing well, and Not everybody can be an ideal friend.
Since you have expectations for your good friend, then you should also behave on par and at the same level by fulfilling his expectations of you too.
Friends are more attracted and likely to befriend you if you're independent and confident of being yourself, that included girls too.
Supporting you doesn't means babysitting you, and the change that you need should come from within yourself. You know that there's nothing your friend can do to help you to change. You need to seek your other friend within your soul.
Individuality is the best value that you can offer to all your friends in the relationship called friendship, and you should be comfortable with who you are and about what you think. Cos if even you also don't have any confidence in yourself, people around you will always have even lesser confidence in you than yourself. Cos Nobody else will have more confidence in you other than yourself.
Believe in yourself first before you expect your friends to place their confidence in you. If you can do that, you will sure meet and know some real friends in life.
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Originally posted by parn:
First of all, what kind of support do you need from your friends?They won't give you the support you need just because you demanded/expected them to provide you with what you want.
Friends doesn't lived for you and certainly doesn't need to breath you to stay alive. And I hope you would also do the same too. Being overly dependent on your friends will only make you the burden in the friendship both of you shared.
It's true that an ideal friend is supposed to be always there for you through the highs and lows, ups and downs. But some people are just not brought up with that values in them. Not everybody can be a good partner in relationship, Not everybody can be a good parent to their own child/children, Not everybody can be successful, Not everybody can sing well, and Not everybody can be an ideal friend.
Since you have expectations for your good friend, then you should also behave on par and at the same level by fulfilling his expectations of you too.
Friends are more attracted and likely to befriend you if you're independent and confident of being yourself, that included girls too.
Supporting you doesn't means babysitting you, and the change that you need should come from within yourself. You know that there's nothing your friend can do to help you to change. You need to seek your other friend within your soul.
Individuality is the best value that you can offer to all your friends in the relationship called friendship, and you should be comfortable with who you are and about what you think. Cos if even you also don't have any confidence in yourself, people around you will always have even lesser confidence in you than yourself. Cos Nobody else will have more confidence in you other than yourself.
Believe in yourself first before you expect your friends to place their confidence in you. If you can do that, you will sure meet and know some real friends in life.
erm well, support as in those listening ear when the going gets tough.. and help with hmwk? and maybe during games can play together.
I have to admit I didn't behave up to the expectations i have of him.. and thats why i want to change now but I hope there're still enuff time to let him see the change in me...
There're alot of points i agree with ur post but i dun really know how to reply to them.. but really thanks alot parn bro, ur words really are very full of wisdom..
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hey TS, a guy can get quite uncomforatable if u ar too ah-guaish, dat's y he may be trying to keep a distance cos he dun wan u to start 'falling' for him.
I know it's an unfounded and misleading fear, but it's a common fear that all guys have when another guy, esp ah guaish one, starts to get too close or rely too much