Thanks to all for the advice.
I'll let nature take its course for now. Enough of being pro active in improving relationships.
You've answered your own question.
If you cannot enjoy your life with this relationship.. then it is not meant to be.
You should feel enriched in a relationship .. not feel burdened by it.
Perhaps it's all you.. are you trying too hard and forgetting to enjoy the good stuff ?
Some people draw a very clear line between what a friend and a partner should be.
I think you should go back to the begining and ask yourself why or how was it that u fell for him.
Rebound or not?
All these issues about him knowing more than he should as a boyfriend should already be settled before u gave the green light.
Being in a relationship with someone is about adapting and giving in.
If you cant, find someone else whom u think suits u better or adapt.
things is u must be comfortable with him
if u feel so uncomfortable then there no points
dont ever have this thinking " i will change for him or he will change for me"
most of this though dont works
do you feel the chemistry between you both? ask yourself do you enjoy his company when you were friend with him and ask yourself if you enjoy his company now that he is your boyfriend. Do you see any future with him? Ask yourself what you really want in a relationship.
Love is acceptance.
It's not about seeking perfections, it's about accepting the imperfections and loving someone for who they are.
It's very clear cut here - either you change yourself for his sake or you bail from this altogether. But before you make your call, ask yourself if you're willing to sacrifice to his demands? How about the next time round when he finds a flaw in you and tells you that 'you don't have to change' again?
The whole problem with people is that they get into a relationship with very unfair expectations of their partners; and when their expectations aren't met, they get disappointed.
I'm not advocating a breakup here - but you should think through it again and again before you make any decision. Talk to him, thrash it out - effective communication in a relationship would really help resolve issues.
Good luck.
The problem is, I believe the relationship has a tendency to fall apart if I don't change. Whether or not, I should is the nagging question. Whether or not it is worthwhile, is another question.
If you can be so particular about weighing ur options and whether it is worthwhile or not, dont waste his time.
Originally posted by melee_sg:The problem is, I believe the relationship has a tendency to fall apart if I don't change. Whether or not, I should is the nagging question. Whether or not it is worthwhile, is another question.
Melee,
If it's just bad habits, then yes.. you should change... for your own sake. Be it financially, socially, personally... you change to become a better person.
If it's changing so to morph into his ideal woman, then no. Because he knows it's just not you, and when he sees what he wants in another woman with all his desired demeanor.. he will have a change of heart.
Be true to yourself... faking it won't last.