deeply in love
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i was always the domineering one in a relationship. over the past 3 years, i've been in 4 relationships so far. each one of them broke up with me cos i was too possessive. is possessiveness a really bad thing?
in the most recent relationship, i learnt to give and take. it's like waking up from a long sleep. i knew that i'm not always the right one, and could not always demand things from my other half. i felt that i've really given everything is takes in a relationship. my ex (still feels weird calling him 'ex') loves to go out with his friends, not as much as me. i learnt to give in to that as well. he didn't want to meet me and talk on phone everyday, i gave in to that as well. in the end what happens? i got rejected.
now my whole opinion of life has changed. to me, all guys sux (no offence it's just a personal opinion) i really don't understand what they want. at the start they go for looks, then after a while when they got the girl to be their gf, they start ill-treating them. i think there's no such thing as 'looks don't matter'. -
hi dear, you are just bitten and become shy.
Not all guys are like that, and for tat matter, some gers are like that too...
anyway, it is over and u got to get over wif it and move on wif life.
No point being together cos the path is still a long way more, and can u stand him for how long more. It is better to break now and to look 4 1 that really love u and appreciate u for who u are.
U will get 1 oneday.
Lov
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Possessivess, in whichever situations kills relationships. Imagine a candle flame sealed in by a bottle - It is like denying air to flame... eventually the flame will sniff out - which is exactly what possessiveness can do to a relationship.Originally posted by veLvEtgEr: i was always the domineering one in a relationship. over the past 3 years, i've been in 4 relationships so far. each one of them broke up with me cos i was too possessive. is possessiveness a really bad thing?
in the most recent relationship, i learnt to give and take. it's like waking up from a long sleep. i knew that i'm not always the right one, and could not always demand things from my other half. i felt that i've really given everything is takes in a relationship. my ex (still feels weird calling him 'ex') loves to go out with his friends, not as much as me. i learnt to give in to that as well. he didn't want to meet me and talk on phone everyday, i gave in to that as well. in the end what happens? i got rejected.
now my whole opinion of life has changed. to me, all guys sux (no offence it's just a personal opinion) i really don't understand what they want. at the start they go for looks, then after a while when they got the girl to be their gf, they start ill-treating them. i think there's no such thing as 'looks don't matter'.
You said each of them broke with you because of this aspect that chokes them: You realise it too - this is something you have to work through yourself. If not, history will repeat itself over and over again. You said the former relation is due to possessiveness, which causes its destruction - therefore it shows that little is done to this characteristic of yours in the past.
The last relation you did try to work things out - but it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to be. Let me say that it is a good effort on your own part, trying to get out of this cycle. To start and attempt something is always a good start, regardless of your result. Do not let it falter your attempt to do so in the future - because each relation, you will grow and mature - until when finally the right person who will appreciate the way you are and your improved self.
You can lose the relation, but never the lesson learned.
Cheers. -
i tink a person becomes possesive becuz of lack of trust. and easily get jealous
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be more trusting
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when will that day come......
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you are absolutly right about that 1.Originally posted by veLvEtgEr:i think there's no such thing as 'looks don't matter'.
when someone comes up to you and tell you that looks doesnt matter, tell him to fu[/i]ck off. he is just trying to be a saint infront of everyone. -
i
think whether someone is pretty or handsome, it really depends on the kind of influence that sets off to different people.
there's a phrase that goes something like "to the world u may be a person, but to a person, u may be the world"
hey btw just curious, what are ur horoscopes, ppl?? -
hey this is a GREAT analogy made *applause* *bows*Originally posted by Yunhaier:Imagine a candle flame sealed in by a bottle - It is like denying air to flame... eventually the flame will sniff out - which is exactly what possessiveness can do to a relationship.
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Great to see that your spirit has recovered within eight advisory posts(??)Originally posted by veLvEtgEr:hey this is a GREAT analogy made *applause* *bows*
Try to be like the candle flame, and see how difficult you will breathe when someone try to control every little thing that you want to do for yourself or for others. -
no lah.. im just commenting that he used a really great analogy to describe. i've heard a million times before that possessiveness can kill a relationship, but i have yet to feel 'controlled' by someone. maybe the way that i controlled a person is even more than the way he controls me, till i cant see it??
now im just trying to run away from my problems and stop thinking or solving it... maybe thats the best way: to run away from problems. but im feeling mixed feelings nowadays. i work at the same place with him and i get to see him. now im thinking whether to quit so as to stop meeting him.......
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All guys sux. Why is it that all girls say that when they have their heart broken. -
some guys sux not all ..
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Well, guys also say that girls suck right???Originally posted by Parka: All guys sux. Why is it that all girls say that when they have their heart broken. -
relationship is like a pot of plant. it's still growing & no one can predict what will happen tomorow. it might flower or it might die the next day..it might live & grow better if u leave it alone. do the minimum. u get +ve results.
but if u r doing too much, it cant take it & might die the next moment..end up -ve find a balance & u'll learn 2 grow something beautiful 1day.. -
Err... Because the other heart-broken girls are also saying that line so it's probably easier to remember...?Originally posted by Parka: All guys sux. Why is it that all girls say that when they have their heart broken. 
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What do you do by being possessive? It depends. Some guys like me likes having their girls being possessive of them i.e. not letting her guy go out clubbing, looking at other girls. It shows that the girls loves the guy and doesnt want to leave him. Can a relationship go far if the girl allows her guy to go anywhere he wants, meet up with a girl anytime etc? If u want a LT relationship, try to be a possessive.If you like this guy and haven learn to love him vice versa for the guy, try to lax abit with that guy..
Love Always,
Your Resident Master -
it's really ironic... i learnt last time that my ex broke up with HIS ex as he was too possessive. and yet now im the one being possessive of him and he couldnt even bother about me.
now im trying to move on without him, suddenly lots of guys come into my life. i think im only making them into substitutes of him. i know it's too selfish and not right to do that, but i thought it would help, making me think lesser of him.........
oh yeah, possessiveness in the sense that 1)he cant look at other girls 2)cant talk to girls 3)cant contact girls 4)try to spend more time with me 5)pamper me 6)take care and protect me 7)cannot go clubbing..................etc. luckily he doesnt smoke....im the one who smokes, but he didnt even bother. he told me to quit before, and i promised to cut down on my cigarettes cos i know that its impossible to quit smoknig suddenly (i have been smoking for quite sometime and i dowan to deceive him by smoking behind his back)
i think when someone's in a relationship, he/she will automatically try to keep a 'safe' distance from ppl of the opposite sex. i tend not to get over-friendly with guys so that they wont get the wrong idea. but my ex doesnt believe in that theory. he told me that he's only being his usual friendly self and he doesnt wan to put up a front. but he never thot that other girls may get the wrong idea. -
my sentiments exactly. i like my girl to possess me!Originally posted by Master -_-:What do you do by being possessive? It depends. Some guys like me likes having their girls being possessive of them i.e. not letting her guy go out clubbing, looking at other girls. It shows that the girls loves the guy and doesnt want to leave him. Can a relationship go far if the girl allows her guy to go anywhere he wants, meet up with a girl anytime etc? If u want a LT relationship, try to be a possessive.If you like this guy and haven learn to love him vice versa for the guy, try to lax abit with that guy..
Love Always,
Your Resident Master -
learn to give the benefit of the doubt...it's alright if he 'fools' around or do whatever, so long as you don't know about it, or you don't find anything wrong or out of the ordinary.Originally posted by veLvEtgEr:it's really ironic... i learnt last time that my ex broke up with HIS ex as he was too possessive. and yet now im the one being possessive of him and he couldnt even bother about me.
now im trying to move on without him, suddenly lots of guys come into my life. i think im only making them into substitutes of him. i know it's too selfish and not right to do that, but i thought it would help, making me think lesser of him.........
oh yeah, possessiveness in the sense that 1)he cant look at other girls 2)cant talk to girls 3)cant contact girls 4)try to spend more time with me 5)pamper me 6)take care and protect me 7)cannot go clubbing..................etc. luckily he doesnt smoke....im the one who smokes, but he didnt even bother. he told me to quit before, and i promised to cut down on my cigarettes cos i know that its impossible to quit smoknig suddenly (i have been smoking for quite sometime and i dowan to deceive him by smoking behind his back)
i think when someone's in a relationship, he/she will automatically try to keep a 'safe' distance from ppl of the opposite sex. i tend not to get over-friendly with guys so that they wont get the wrong idea. but my ex doesnt believe in that theory. he told me that he's only being his usual friendly self and he doesnt wan to put up a front. but he never thot that other girls may get the wrong idea.
however if you do find something amiss, then kick his ass and send his ass packing home. -
In Life, try to BALANCE... A doctor asked a patient to take a medication... 1 tablet a day... As the day passed, the patient is feeling much better... He wishes for a faster recovery so he took 5 tablets at one go... He FOAMED and DIED on the spot... The MORAL of the story is, "Too much of a good thing is usually never a good thing...."Originally posted by veLvEtgEr: i was always the domineering one in a relationship. over the past 3 years, i've been in 4 relationships so far. each one of them broke up with me cos i was too possessive. is possessiveness a really bad thing?
in the most recent relationship, i learnt to give and take. it's like waking up from a long sleep. i knew that i'm not always the right one, and could not always demand things from my other half. i felt that i've really given everything is takes in a relationship. my ex (still feels weird calling him 'ex') loves to go out with his friends, not as much as me. i learnt to give in to that as well. he didn't want to meet me and talk on phone everyday, i gave in to that as well. in the end what happens? i got rejected.
now my whole opinion of life has changed. to me, all guys sux (no offence it's just a personal opinion) i really don't understand what they want. at the start they go for looks, then after a while when they got the girl to be their gf, they start ill-treating them. i think there's no such thing as 'looks don't matter'.
How many bfs have you had...? The number of bfs you had probably is too small a number to have the verdict "All guy sux" established anyway? -
You're probably still young...? A person's mentality and demands on relationship(s) would probably change with his/ her age and what he/ she experiences... Especially true for women cause they tends to be the more affectionate creature....Originally posted by veLvEtgEr:it's really ironic... i learnt last time that my ex broke up with HIS ex as he was too possessive. and yet now im the one being possessive of him and he couldnt even bother about me.
now im trying to move on without him, suddenly lots of guys come into my life. i think im only making them into substitutes of him. i know it's too selfish and not right to do that, but i thought it would help, making me think lesser of him.........
oh yeah, possessiveness in the sense that 1)he cant look at other girls 2)cant talk to girls 3)cant contact girls 4)try to spend more time with me 5)pamper me 6)take care and protect me 7)cannot go clubbing..................etc. luckily he doesnt smoke....im the one who smokes, but he didnt even bother. he told me to quit before, and i promised to cut down on my cigarettes cos i know that its impossible to quit smoknig suddenly (i have been smoking for quite sometime and i dowan to deceive him by smoking behind his back)
i think when someone's in a relationship, he/she will automatically try to keep a 'safe' distance from ppl of the opposite sex. i tend not to get over-friendly with guys so that they wont get the wrong idea. but my ex doesnt believe in that theory. he told me that he's only being his usual friendly self and he doesnt wan to put up a front. but he never thot that other girls may get the wrong idea.
So your bf has a certain form of mentality... In fact different people probably have different characters and mentality with some characteristics which would overlap between 2 different people... Your bf has a certain belief and you ANOTHER? He could be genuinely having that form of mentality or just making up something to excuse himself... In a relationship, ALWAYS choose to TRUST as far as you can.... If you think that he's NOT trust-worthy, you'll either have to live with it or LEAVE it.... Can try and change him if you want to, but most people are not open to that....