if........
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to the males : u were only 18 this year......and ur family is in a bad shape ..... ur father is some gambler who nv contributes to the family ... ur mom slogs out as a dental nurse , u barely have enough to spend ... you have limited close friends and 1 day u got a girl pregnant what would U do ?
for the feemale
: if u were only 18 this year and somehow someone got U pregnant ..... ur family is in a bad shape ..... ur father is some gambler who nv contributes to the family ... ur mom slogs out as a dental nurse , u barely have enough to spend ... you have limited close friends ...... 1 day u got pregnant with a guy what would U do ?
P.S : dont have to act saint in here by saying oh yeah i would give birth to the child and try my best give the child a gd life if u under the same circumstance would take another alternative. I just want to get some real response thx ^.^ -
i have no brother or sister? anyway, i would get a job and raise my child properly.. marry my gf.. a simple registration considering the strain financially.. then slowly rise up the ladder and maintain an easy life..
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i'll start off with what i will do
call me a bastard but i will get my girlfriend for a abortion... yes i read the thread about the abortion thing and i've seen the pictures but i doubt im that 'manly' unlike you guys
but one thing for sure i'll make that girl my wife ... unless she leaves me -
abortion is the way to go...unless some childless couple is willing to take care of the medical expeneses....and pay the couple some $$ as gratitude payement...
thats the short term...
long term...you might want to see if relatives, grandparents are willing to take care of the child for you...that will only apply if the couple is commited to each other (love each other) seen a lot of shotgun marraiges that go the way of seperation after a few yeears either becasue the gal sleeps ard....finds a more *stable* guy....or the guy doesnt wanna take care of the girl anymore...etc -
I would look for a private doctor to have the baby aborted if i really don't have the time to look after the baby or if i'm not really prepared yet or if i'm not financially stable..
But i will regret for the rest of my life for killing a life. -
pretend u the only child of the family.Originally posted by Master -_-:i have no brother or sister? anyway, i would get a job and raise my child properly.. marry my gf.. a simple registration considering the strain financially.. then slowly rise up the ladder and maintain an easy life..
But wont you be like giving up a gd part of your future if u just go into the work force with just a 'O' Level certificate ? -
if i am the girl, i will definately go for the abortion....but i will not blame my bf for making me pregnant..
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u should have insisted in some form of protection...stupid guy...if cant aim then dun shoot..Originally posted by Qoo`~`:if i am the girl, i will definately go for the abortion.... -
/sayang QooOriginally posted by Qoo`~`:if i am the girl, i will definately go for the abortion....but i will not blame my bf for making me pregnant.. -
......Originally posted by Qoo`~`:if i am the girl, i will definately go for the abortion....but i will not blame my bf for making me pregnant.. -
thanks....Originally posted by kohanson:/sayang Qoo
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My future is my family.. and that is fixed.. My family now remains the first priority in my life albeit in that scenario..
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just feel that it takes two hands to clap, if i didnt allow him to have sex with me or rather unprotected sex, then nothing of such will happen, both should take the blame if really have to.Originally posted by Peppermint:...... -
please i have nothing against pre maritial sex...u guys can happily go at it like bunnies for i care...Originally posted by Qoo`~`:just feel that it takes two hands to clap, if i didnt allow him to have sex with me or rather unprotected sex, then nothing of such will happen, both should take the blame if really have to.
....both should be mature enough and accept the consequences if and when it happens and not just take the easy way out...
your case was not *special* imo at that point in time...but in view of later relevations maybe it was good, but who knows what might have happened....if u didnt?
nm....why do i bother...i said all that i have said...what done is done.. -
How young is the girl...? You'll probably be able to make more 'sensible' choices in this case, but DO care about how your gf would feel about MANY things and try to talk with her more often...Originally posted by askthefool:i'll start off with what i will do
call me a bastard but i will get my girlfriend for a abortion... yes i read the thread about the abortion thing and i've seen the pictures but i doubt im that 'manly' unlike you guys
but one thing for sure i'll make that girl my wife ... unless she leaves me
Give in to her when its necessary.... SEPARATE the issues... Yes, you've got family and financial problems.. (Ok... The $$$ thing is more related to your current situation...) But you should be MORE CONCERNED with your relationship with her now rather than your problems...? Hmm... Hope you get what I mean...?
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incomplete information:
Wat if the pregnant ger comes from a rich family and they can support it?
No matter wat, the very veri last alternative is abortion...hope will never reach the last last last stage for consideration.
Talk to social workers or call up MCDS. They can help too.
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sry my bad
but can u elaborate more on the sensible choices thxOriginally posted by Devil1976:How young is the girl...? You'll probably be able to make more 'sensible' choices in this case, but DO care about how your gf would feel about MANY things and try to talk with her more often...
Give in to her when its necessary.... SEPARATE the issues... Yes, you've got family and financial problems.. (Ok... The $$$ thing is more related to your current situation...) But you should be MORE CONCERNED with your relationship with her now rather than your problems...? Hmm... Hope you get what I mean...? -
ook sorry abt the incomplete info , my bad
lets take it that the partner comes from an average income familyOriginally posted by sgboy2004:incomplete information:
Wat if the pregnant ger comes from a rich family and they can support it?
No matter wat, the very veri last alternative is abortion...hope will never reach the last last last stage for consideration.
Talk to social workers or call up MCDS. They can help too. -
anyone have any experience in toking to those scds or social workers before ??
Will they like sabo u and tell ur parents ? or u wont even have to say ur name -
my answers still the same... i got a friend also like that. but still brought the child up, single handed. so i shall base on that example.. 19 give birth too. so its not entirely impossible.
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most likely she'll leave u after the abortion. its a terror to go thru it. usually the female will go thru a period of emotional stress and guilt and pain. and u're sort of the one responsible. just a thoughtOriginally posted by askthefool:i'll start off with what i will do
call me a bastard but i will get my girlfriend for a abortion... yes i read the thread about the abortion thing and i've seen the pictures but i doubt im that 'manly' unlike you guys
but one thing for sure i'll make that girl my wife ... unless she leaves me -
i also have a similiar experience as your case but different age - 20 only and parents - we come from avereage family.Originally posted by askthefool:to the males : u were only 18 this year......and ur family is in a bad shape ..... ur father is some gambler who nv contributes to the family ... ur mom slogs out as a dental nurse , u barely have enough to spend ... you have limited close friends and 1 day u got a girl pregnant what would U do ?
for the feemale : if u were only 18 this year and somehow someone got U pregnant ..... ur family is in a bad shape ..... ur father is some gambler who nv contributes to the family ... ur mom slogs out as a dental nurse , u barely have enough to spend ... you have limited close friends ...... 1 day u got pregnant with a guy what would U do ?
P.S : dont have to act saint in here by saying oh yeah i would give birth to the child and try my best give the child a gd life if u under the same circumstance would take another alternative. I just want to get some real response thx ^.^ for the abortion, it is up to ur gf's decision, not yours unless both of u r lawfully married. if she decides to keep baby, do respect her decision and think later of what next to do. if she really keeps baby, you have to prepare the conquences from both parents (both of u love each other and willing to share life together, good enough ma). anyway,pls be noted that shot-gun marriage dun last longer unless both of u r enough mature to give and take and able to solve problem in the calm manner. it really consume ur time and efforts to keep the marriage going, rather than planned marriage. if she decides for abortion, she surely go through emotional state and guilt for killing a life.. but not for a guy, feel nothing but just feel gd after rid out of baby issue and some more issues later 
important to give her support as much as you can...
agree with the sgboy2004 - seek help from mcd or family conselling. i do believe they wont reveal your issues to ur family unless you u request them to help u to talk to both sides of family.
well, i never did these thing b4 i got married.. i trust my hubby to talk to his parents himself after i made a decision to keep baby. all he normally gets from his parents is scolding. after this, calm down for time being and try to discuss this issue again at the right time. frankly speaking, we really not good term tt moment entirely cuz of different upbringing and his parents' negative thoughts towards my capacilities of taking care of child (due to my age) but put our efforts to give and take. no matter what we got ourselves having obstacles, we still love each other... without love involoved, how to solve this problem and end up in divorce... right now, i am seeking family conselling for my emotion needs
now, my advise is " do sit and think thoroughly before you do anything" and best to get the professional help asap.
cheers -
Before I start, you're getting quite sound advices from the forumites above... Go through their post CAREFULLY.... Try to understand what their points are....Originally posted by askthefool:sry my bad
but can u elaborate more on the sensible choices thx
In 'sensible choices', I was referring to the BALANCE... Between what's answerable to your gf and what in reality can you accomplish....
Aborting a child could be a cruel thing to do, but giving birth to one only to SUFFER in this world and perhaps face a family which is totally torn apart ain't such a brilliant idea too....?
It's IMPORTANT to seek your gf's opinion on this issue 1st... The MANY other comments which follow from relatives and family members are more of secondary importance (unless they would have direct roles to play later... eg. taking care of child or financial support...)....
Women tends to be more emotional.... Men more practical..... Try to strike a balance from there... You've got to figure out your decision(s).... But that doesn't mean that you should totally ignore how your gf feel...
How long have the both of you been together...? A 'forced' relationship is usually not a good one... Even though 2 parties should have been a very compatible couple.... Reality would drag you along to the extent that both parties would be worn out and no longer feel that the relationship is existing for the sake of its true existence....
I SENSE you're still YOUNG... I BET so is your gf....? From a logical point of view and MINUS the ACTUAL FEELINGS between you and her currently... I would say ABORTION is a BETTER OPTION...
Main REASONS would be :
1. You said you're financially unestablished.
2. Both of you are probably still YOUNG. I'm not commenting on your level of maturity here, but chances are your MENTALITY (and hers) would be CHANGING in the future to come... Which would indirectly be contributing to a MAJOR IMPACT on your relationship with her...
3. SOCIAL PRESSURE. Abortion or birth, you'll probably face this in either cases. Giving birth to a child would probably lead to a PROLONGED pressure existence. I'm not saying this should be a main reason for you to quit on the relationship, but its EXISTENCE can never be underestimated on long run. Unless you're financially stable and your relationship is a FIRM one, its difficult to fight on this disadvantaged background.
4. Note that from point 2 ALONE, is enough to give you so much more COMPLICATIONS later on in life. Point 3 is not only about YOUR ABILITY to overcome, please do also take into consideration of the IMPACT on your gf? This is a relationship, it takes 2 hands to clap... And usually such impacts are MUCH STRONGER on the female than male under such circumstance.
~good luck... Make sure you have proper talk with her. Even if you go for the abortion, it doesn't mean that you'll have to break up with her? I think you've already got this point from the beginning..? If your relationship with her is not stable enough after she's sensible enough to take the abortion (meaning no direct impact of the decision-making on your relationship with her), you'll both of a BETTER CHANCE of seeking a better future for your relationship BASED on this situation that you've both gone through together and establishing your relationship not by 'situational force'.... You still can have a child in the future with her when both of you are more mature in mentality and established on status... IF under such circumstances FAILED, you would probably have SKIPPED the MISFORTUNE of having 3 RUINED LIVES... Namely yourself, your gf and your child.... To be 'grouped in a suffering case'..... -
how true???....hmmm...tink saw someting like tt in the papers? but in the end going after the bf for $$$$$????Originally posted by Qoo`~`:if i am the girl, i will definately go for the abortion....but i will not blame my bf for making me pregnant..
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abortion is a sin...