Would you go back to your ex- after breakup for 2 years?
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
of course, you can. It is up to her to accept it or not.ya.. she was not like this in the past.. guess when she's attached she changed.. Bf more importance then some1 whose nv stop caring for her for 10 mths.. haiz i feel so stupid
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its now or never.
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Originally posted by Man!x:
its now or never.
it won happen again.. i sort of regret falling for her in the 1st place
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Originally posted by Life is a mystery:
I have a friend who has broken up with his ex-gf of 8 years about 2 years ago. The girl is the one who suggested the breakup, and the reason being he is just not a good bf to her after knowing each other for more than 10 years. When they broke up, the guy was devastated and has tried all means to get her back, but she was so cruel that she even rejected his proposal to get married. Now ... 2 years later, she came back to him and asked him back, he... on the other hand felt that he has owed her, as he has not been a good bf when they were together. He is a very responsible person and very loyal to who he loved. Therefore he decided to get back together with her.
I felt that this is so unfair to the guy, as I've seen how he got hurt when they broke up... Just because she is not able to find another bf during these 2 years, or maybe she is already 34 this year ... or for whatever reason, she decided to take him back. What do you all think?
since he cant 4get her then suan le ba... -
wang le ba, hai xiang ta hai you shen mo yong!!
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
wang le ba, hai xiang ta hai you shen mo yong!!
i trying.. haha.. not easy to forget her sia.. 10mths leh.. we din even begin a r/s in the 1st place
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Originally posted by Babelfish:
i trying.. haha.. not easy to forget her sia.. 10mths leh.. we din even begin a r/s in the 1st place
babel, go read your PM, mailbox.
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Originally posted by Life is a mystery:
I have a friend who has broken up with his ex-gf of 8 years about 2 years ago. The girl is the one who suggested the breakup, and the reason being he is just not a good bf to her after knowing each other for more than 10 years. When they broke up, the guy was devastated and has tried all means to get her back, but she was so cruel that she even rejected his proposal to get married. Now ... 2 years later, she came back to him and asked him back, he... on the other hand felt that he has owed her, as he has not been a good bf when they were together. He is a very responsible person and very loyal to who he loved. Therefore he decided to get back together with her.
I felt that this is so unfair to the guy, as I've seen how he got hurt when they broke up... Just because she is not able to find another bf during these 2 years, or maybe she is already 34 this year ... or for whatever reason, she decided to take him back. What do you all think?
It’s entirely up to his self determination to decide if she could provide him the happiness he seeks at the end of the day. Love doesn’t always run in a linear fashion because we are always placed in pluralistic circumstances that shape our every present moment and even that one micro tweak might be the catalysis to a different decision altogether.
Who says that a relationship of eight years will guarantee a lasting, fulfilling marriage? Probably only in the eyes of an outsider because in the eyes of a stranger, he/she is not part of that wholesome experience and we are always guilty of judging the quality of relationship based on its length.
Of course in reality, that’s completely erroneous.
Anyway, since TS is not the person involved, I shall not go on any further on that part. But I would like to address one other point:***
The truth is that it’s not really him who has received unfair dues, much more than it’s you who is feeling the inequality. Your anguish for him is merely a representation of your own innate feelings for yourself – that someone, who once has treated a relationship so lightly, could haughtily return and claim her throne without even a need to contest for it.
And I will tell you how you have inevitably contributed to your own misery.
Your agreement to be involved in a non-committed relationship is, although a logical method of self protection, but this is precisely the agreement that allowed him to persist in pining hope for her because you have given him the consent to use you as an emotional substitute, without a concrete structure, and he doesn’t have the space to recover naturally from his ordeal completely.
I will illustrate in simple words:
When death of a relationship occur, every unwilling party will go through a natural grieving process, in which at the point of conclusion (when that happens) is always the realization and acceptance in their own irrevocable situation and the outcome of moving on, unless there are situations that halt this natural recovery.
Your presence and agreement in maintaining this non-committed relationship unconsciously allowed him to have an emotional shelter for everything else a relationship could offer, minus the responsibility. It’s almost like staying in the house, without paying the rent.
In another words, if he was once emotionally very attached to his ex-gf, then you merely acted (sadly on her behalf) as the tacit support he had once gotten, while endorsing his placid waiting for her. Surely, upon her return and without hesitation, he will leap over to her.
Now a subtle form of self pity has manifested – you are probably feeling short-changed, pondering why he has still choose her, despite your quiet attempt to demonstrate your affection for him.
Your plight is brought about disastrously by the notion of non-commitment because if he was given a choice in the past: a situation where he has to firm the choice between (1) to learn acceptance, commitment and move on OR (2) to create an interim method, to remain uncommitted and to wait?
Theoretically, you tried to eliminate risk for yourself, thinking that you will be safe because this is an ‘uncommitted relationship’, but reality is such that once you have invested in that dubious deal, you are already into it – regardless of how you perceive your situation.
If this is truly ‘uncommitted’, then why is it affecting you?
Maybe it’s self deception, under the façade of uncommitment.
P.S: All uncommitted relationship built on emotional grounds ends up in contradiction and is oxymoron. You can only have an uncommitted relationship if it’s built on physical grounds like sex because it entirely possible to have a sexual relationship, without paying the emotional dollars. You cannot be emotional and yet unemotional - just like you cannot exist yet not exist simultaneously. (CloUdiSm)
Cheers -
Originally posted by parn:
You can always thank me especially when my song post is relevant to you too.
In fact, I think you should be more thankful.
I believe I contributed to that song, except that it was like more then 5 years ago.I already moved on. Maybe you need to grow up a little bit more to catch up my pace before suggest anything about old and outdated.
I am thankful that you bought out something that does show you dont know how to use a pm function and that you are mean when you try to be pushy on others to suggest your ideas.
But......there is some good to it. It now shows you do try to 'sympatise' before you push whoever to read and accept your comments.
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BTW, there is some ex worth going back to.
And some dont.
Worth as in, does the person makes you happy, are you comfy with that person. Do both of you enjoy each other companies and are you both prepared to work on the same goals. Eg. Spending time together, financing a home, have children & growing old together?
Or is it going to become a relationship where one party preys on the other, giving headaches, heartaches or expecting higher standard of things without at first compromising with each other's shortcomings?
Eg like, you expect your partner to start exercising and lose weight, but he/she dont. And you end up often quarralling over those issues.
Think everyone will remember their heartache, when one party expects somethings, but the other party does not deliver. Or create more problems to mask the original problems.
Eg, that person is suppose to stop smoking, but instead, the person creates a scenerio where he/she fights with you because you are stopping him/her from smoking.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
I believe I contributed to that song, except that it was like more then 5 years ago.I already moved on. Maybe you need to grow up a little bit more to catch up my pace before suggest anything about old and outdated.
I am thankful that you bought out something that does show you dont know how to use a pm function and that you are mean when you try to be pushy on others to suggest your ideas.
But......there is some good to it. It now shows you do try to 'sympatise' before you push whoever to read and accept your comments.
I can see that you're unwilling to admit that I'm RIGHT, but I can understand if that's something you're not capable of.But I don't need an apology from you regarding those unpleasant personal comments you have said about me, cos that's just what you do to make-believe yourself into a better person for everyone to see.
Trying to throw my comments back at me is really considered an old and outdated behavior in my opinion.
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One question before we even try to advise any futher....
IS THE TS A GUY OR A GIRL?
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Its old, but nothing can go wrong with classics.
Will take a really mature person to understand that. Did anyone on this forum see that of parn?
I like to see maybe a show of paws?
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And for the rest.
Its true, I cannot admit that Parn is Right. Because I do not believe he/she is.
Especially in light of how Parn dont share personal details, nor indicated who, how old or where she learns to be so mean to others.
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This kind of ger .
Can ask her screw off.
I rather be single then get married to her .
Maybe screw her then forget it LOL
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Originally posted by Yunhaier: P.S: All uncommitted relationship built on emotional grounds ends
up in contradiction and is oxymoron. You can only have an
uncommitted relationship if it’s built on physical grounds like sex
because it entirely possible to have a sexual relationship, without
paying the emotional dollars. You cannot be emotional and yet
unemotional - just like you cannot exist yet not exist
simultaneously. (CloUdiSm)
saying goes, mourn them do not. miss them do not. do or not, there is no try.
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A) It is none of TS business
B) If you are refering to yourself, she or someone must be able to mend the crack in the relationship before you proceed to your next stage of life. Remember take care of yourself. YOU ARE NOT A SAINT.
C) If I am him, I would not go back to my ex. Simply I am the revengeful type. I would sub-conciously hurt her if I go back.
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It actually depends on whether the TS is a guy or a girl.
The focus on the key players in the story is different if TS is a guy or a girl.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
And for the rest.
Its true, I cannot admit that Parn is Right. Because I do not believe he/she is.
Especially in light of how Parn dont share personal details, nor indicated who, how old or where she learns to be so mean to others.
My parents have always reminded me not to talk to strangers.You should count your lucky stars that you're able to talk to me over this forum.
So I have no obligations or whatsoever to share anything about myself with you, and especially you when you are only a STRANGER to me.
I'm surprised how madly you wanted to know about me, but you won't get what you want....you paedophile.
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Originally posted by Go:
A) It is none of TS business
B) If you are refering to yourself, she or someone must be able to mend the crack in the relationship before you proceed to your next stage of life. Remember take care of yourself. YOU ARE NOT A SAINT.
C) If I am him, I would not go back to my ex. Simply I am the revengeful type. I would sub-conciously hurt her if I go back.
People don't simply quit a relationship. They break up because it's not working on some levels.
Sometimes people grow apart, they discover they want different things in life. There's no right or wrong, good or bad. It is not a measure of staying power or faith.
The notion of "payback" is a sign of blame. Sure, we are entitled to moments of painful doubt, resentment and regret before moving on. But imho, you only heal when you find the magnitude to forgive. :)
*pats*
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Originally posted by Hanagata:
coz she her prime is over
hahaha