need some advice !
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hey i really need some advice for whatys happening in my life !
my younger brother , is starting to smoke and everything . when i entered his room , i found tray of ashes , very obviously from cigarettes. and he is only 15 !
whenever i ask him , he is just avoiding my questions or trying to lie . what can i do ?
and when i opened his drawer , i found packets of condoms . i mean he is a guy and everything but when i reach home one day ( our parents went to m'sia ) , i heard a female voice coming from his room , and he refuse to tell me whats happening . he is underage and he is having underage intercourse ! i don't even know if the female is underage or not.
i really dun know what i can do for my bro . we don't live together. our parents are divorced . he lives with my father and i live my my mom .our parents dun know whats happening to him . if i ever tell my mom , she will break down becoz she loves her younger son too much . if i tell my dad , he will be so angry and just beat my brother.
he us my brother and i really cares for him . i can't lways be there for him
im seriously tied around my hands and i cant do much .
any advice please ?
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Tough love.
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its all part of growing up
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Give him warning before u call police and lock him up in boy's home.
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Originally posted by CannyOng:
Give him warning before u call police and lock him up in boy's home.
do that, he'll hate you more.
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ya lor, growing up phase..
u cant do much..
he will learn when the day comes..
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You have to first make it clear that you are in no way attempting to get him into trouble for what he's doing and that you'll be understanding and non-disciplinary with what he's doing.
The most important thing is to educate him on the dangers of unprotected sex and the health consequences of smoking. Speak to him about peer pressure as well as that is usually the cause of such behaviour. The sex isn't really an issue because he's at least using a condom so I'd be more worried about the smoking. Hopefully it's just a phase and won't become an addiction.
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Originally posted by Detached:
Tough love.
I second tht. -
why see the negative?
you should be happy that he uses condoms.
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Ok. If your brother is those very independent type, you should trust he knows what he is doing. My advice will be sit him down, talk to him properly and ask him what is he doing with his life. Smoking and sex isn't really that serious compared to stealing, fighting etc.
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That is very normal for teenagers nowsadays... Just have a talk with him. Cig is ok... advise him to stay away from party drugs though.
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Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
That is very normal for teenagers nowsadays... Just have a talk with him. Cig is ok... advise him to stay away from party drugs though.
Actually, party drugs are a lot less harmful than cigs. It's better that your brother be taking ecstasy than smoking cigarettes.
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Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:
Actually, party drugs are a lot less harmful than cigs. It's better that your brother be taking ecstasy than smoking cigarettes.
?? DOn take too much , have yr brain been damage??.. It better to kill yrself now den getting yr ass in changi chalet...It will be a waste of space for a ass like u...try harder to convince next time..lolx
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dont get so worked up la.... it's just part and parcel for growing up
i started smoking when i was 13....that doesnt mean anything. Im pretty much a social smoker.
Instead of trying to force him to quit, why not have some words with him.. tell him that you know he has been smoking.. asks him not to smoke too much.... the more you force him the more he is not willing to quit. Educate him the right way, and not by force or threaten (to send him to boys' home or call the police.. dont be stupid).
As for the condom thing, be glad he is using condoms. Just hope the girl is above 16.. For this, this is much more of a concern to me because what if the girl is pregnant. Do discuss this with him.
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Originally posted by [3Dd|E]:
?? DOn take too much , have yr brain been damage??.. It better to kill yrself now den getting yr ass in changi chalet...It will be a waste of space for a ass like u...try harder to convince next time..lolx
I'm talking about the health risks, not legal consequences. As long as he tries not to draw too much attention to himself he'll be fine.
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Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:
I'm talking about the health risks, not legal consequences. As long as he tries not to draw too much attention to himself he'll be fine.
So u mean risking yr brain is much more better den getting lung cancer??? not drawing too much attention as in? Shake yr head in a toilet with a walkman/discman/MD /Mp3??? So wat the purpose of taking esctasy?? Hoping 1 day u strike "toto" and get yr brain screw up? Yawnz... -
Talking to him isn't going to help.You have to deliver a really powerful speech to change him miraculously.
He needs to belong, to something And his family is not there, but his street peers are. Do you have the time to mentor him? You also need the skill.
There is actually nothing much you can do, except to nag him.
Be there when he gets into serious trouble. Otherwise, he is on his own. Wish him well.
He may turn out to be a great guy, or a jailbird. You take care of yourself, so that you may take care of others.
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Originally posted by [3Dd|E]:
So u mean risking yr brain is much more better den getting lung cancer??? not drawing too much attention as in? Shake yr head in a toilet with a walkman/discman/MD /Mp3??? So wat the purpose of taking esctasy?? Hoping 1 day u strike "toto" and get yr brain screw up? Yawnz...Perhaps doing some research before spouting your anti-drug delusions would do you some good. Cigarettes have been proven to be significantly more harmful than MDMA.