So...the ex is getting married.
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Am sure many have experienced this before lah - the irrational (rational?) feelings of sadness connected to it. I suppose it also depends on who broke up with whom etc.
For my case, it was just bad timing. If I had met her a year or so later, it might have turned out very different. After just a few months, we imploded. We still stayed in contact, barely. Like an email twice a year.
I moved on with life, but I wrote letters to her which I never sent. I knew she was seeing someone. But then 6 years after I last saw her, I suddenly get an invite to a wedding.
While I don't usually think about this sort of thing, through the years I've sometimes thought that losing her might in fact be the biggest regret of my life.
So my questions!!
Why girls like to invite the ex to wedding ah? We didn't even have a long relationship, and I doubt the current fella knows about me.
For people who actually went to the wedding - was it a good move or did you need to get drunk after that. :p
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The card is to tell you she's getting married, not really to invite you. You can accept it in good faith though.
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Originally posted by mancha:
The card is to tell you she's getting married, not really to invite you. You can accept it in good faith though.
Wasn't a card. Was a personal invite through mail.
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Wow congrats to the ex. My 1st ex got married since last year.
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i will invite my first love to my wedding also... coz i want him to know i have found my happiness and want his blessings.
but if it's an ex who ended with a bad note with me, i guess post an invitation card to him with a pic of me and the groom.. then indicate there 'i mail an invitation card to u but that doesn't mean i want to see u on my wedding day' haha..
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Originally posted by browniebaobao:
i will invite my first love to my wedding also... coz i want him to know i have found my happiness and want his blessings.
but if it's an ex who ended with a bad note with me, i guess post an invitation card to him with a pic of me and the groom.. then indicate there 'i mail an invitation card to u but that doesn't mean i want to see u on my wedding day' haha..
scarly the hint misfire, then he come how
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TS, when is the wedding ceremony?
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Just dont go if you dont feel comfortable.
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
TS, when is the wedding ceremony?
End of this year. Lotsa time to think! But because of work postings I will probably be in another country at that time. It doesn't mean I can't fly back for it if I wanted though.
Yeah, congrats to her. ;p
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Originally posted by First Five-Eights:
End of this year. Lotsa time to think! But because of work postings I will probably be in another country at that time. It doesn't mean I can't fly back for it if I wanted though.
Yeah, congrats to her. ;p
heng, i thought u refering to my god-sis wedding
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I don't know man, unless my ex and I are still friends or maybe good friends, then I'll probably invite him to the wedding, if not it's gonna get very awkward. And TS if you feel awkward, then I suggest, you better don't go. You know all the drinking and YAAAAAMMMMMMM-SSEEENNGGGGGG! in weddings? You might end up sprouting stuff you'll regret after you get sober :P hehehe
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*snort* mebbe it was to rub it in your face.
But I did have an ex where we agreed to inform each other when we both got married (to different people). Just inform, not invite lah - So well we did.
I figure whatever sadness you might feel is merely that a phase of your life is officially over. That is reason enough for a sort of sentimental nostalgia - but don't mistake it for anything more than that.
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Originally posted by First Five-Eights:
Am sure many have experienced this before lah - the irrational (rational?) feelings of sadness connected to it. I suppose it also depends on who broke up with whom etc.
For my case, it was just bad timing. If I had met her a year or so later, it might have turned out very different. After just a few months, we imploded. We still stayed in contact, barely. Like an email twice a year.
I moved on with life, but I wrote letters to her which I never sent. I knew she was seeing someone. But then 6 years after I last saw her, I suddenly get an invite to a wedding.
While I don't usually think about this sort of thing, through the years I've sometimes thought that losing her might in fact be the biggest regret of my life.
So my questions!!
Why girls like to invite the ex to wedding ah? We didn't even have a long relationship, and I doubt the current fella knows about me.
For people who actually went to the wedding - was it a good move or did you need to get drunk after that. :p
Give your ex and her partner a
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When my ex got married after a whirlwind romance with a guy she barely knew that well, she sent me a bigger than normal wedding card..registered mail some more...and left me a note to move on and commit..i attended graciously only to be snubbed by her and her family there..apparently, my table was the one of the last and had a tween there... -_-"
Then, she had her baby shower..and she sent me another card via the same method..and again left me a small note, "dun worry it's not your baby =)"..that time, i was already with my current fianceee then gf..we fought because of the note i deemed callous and denigrating...Dunno what gotten over me, i went for the baby shower and brought her a hefty voucher from IKEA since i do not know what to get..
Despite my resistance to leave the baby shower, I was persuaded to stay and left me sitting to entertain her drunken husband and friends..
The last i heard about her was that she is in the middle of a divorce and her parents killed in an accident from my lawyer friend who incidentally is handling her case..
sigh...
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if you do decide to go, don't get drunk during the dinner. you'll probably risk splurting out something you regret.
she probably sent you the invite like how any friend would send one to another. don't read too much into it.
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Originally posted by cassie:
she probably sent you the invite like how any friend would send one to another. don't read too much into it.
hurhur.. actually I think there are few girls who are
- not on regular friendly terms with their ex
- but who would send a wedding invite to their ex
- and yet have absolutely no hidden agenda.
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Originally posted by First Five-Eights:
Wasn't a card. Was a personal invite through mail.
Wow. She holds you in high esteem then.
You consider it as an ex-relationship, but she consider it as past friendship.
She has the maturity to invite you to her big day.
Acknowledge. Attend or send a gift. Minimum, a congratulatory note..
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Thanks for the advice peoples.
Yah definitely not reading into it as anything like "oh, maybe she still lurves me". But it's just so strange considering the implosion that ended the relationship. We were never friends before the relationship, so it's not like we had a history to fall back on.
S's Cat: I am inclined to think you're right - to rub it in my face a little and show me what I've missed out eh. Maybe not in a really evil way, I dont think she habours THAT much animosity. We emailed each other twice a year or so since then but they've always been friendly enough mails.
hahah yah, better not yam seng too much and drink too much at the dinner huh.
For Master - man that really sucks. She seems like she is still really bitter for whatever reason huh. You totally shouldn't have gone for it, esp the baby shower! I doubt I would be snubbed or anything if I should go because I don't know many of her friends and they don't know who I am.Just an unknown figure in the back.
mancha - yep have congratulated her already. Will probably at least send a gift.
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I agree with mancha - take it at face value that she simply wishes to celebrate with someone she considers to be a friend. If you don't figure you can simply be there to share her joy, it's probably not worth going to and sending a gift will suffice.
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Originally posted by Master -_-:
When my ex got married after a whirlwind romance with a guy she barely knew that well, she sent me a bigger than normal wedding card..registered mail some more...and left me a note to move on and commit..i attended graciously only to be snubbed by her and her family there..apparently, my table was the one of the last and had a tween there... -_-"
Then, she had her baby shower..and she sent me another card via the same method..and again left me a small note, "dun worry it's not your baby =)"..that time, i was already with my current fianceee then gf..we fought because of the note i deemed callous and denigrating...Dunno what gotten over me, i went for the baby shower and brought her a hefty voucher from IKEA since i do not know what to get..
Despite my resistance to leave the baby shower, I was persuaded to stay and left me sitting to entertain her drunken husband and friends..
The last i heard about her was that she is in the middle of a divorce and her parents killed in an accident from my lawyer friend who incidentally is handling her case..
sigh...
Sheesh - there's someone who's dragging a whole load of baggage around. There are just some people who you're better off not knowing.
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If u guys broke off on a gd note, no harm going and wishing the newly weds all the best. U can make things look more positive by telling them to recommend u a gd partner... Other than that, MOVE ON!!!