How to communicate with a ex-gangster sec2 educated?
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I've gotten jobs for people who want to get there by their own steam. If they're not motivated and focussed in the first place, it's a waste of my time, effort and reputation with my contacts. I've got plenty of time for people who want to succeed and just need to tap into some resources I may have, but I don't have any time to drag anybody else's baggage along and live their lives for them.
In any case, it's all a moot point. Cut it any way you want, you've got no place doing anything for his good. As you have already said, it's HIS OWN good you're talking about here - it's his, not yours, so stop being a kaypo.
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About his psyhotic problem, This is what he say: He has ADHD, accompanied with some degree of depression, anixety, post-trauma stress disorder, ASPD, biopolar disorder, learning disability, obsessive, compulsive, oppositional defiant disorder, all in a cocktail. It is diagnosed by SAF MO, and he was given a Cert and is downgraded to Pes E.
And from his behavior, yes it is true.
[I have ADHD too]
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Listen, I don't care about his diagnoses or yours for that matter. For one thing, I don't deal in crazy-people shit, and if I did, it's going to cost you at least $375 for 50 minutes.
I talk shop only with other professionals, and your amateur Freud shit is just plain irritating.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
I've gotten jobs for people who want to get there by their own steam. If they're not motivated and focussed in the first place, it's a waste of my time, effort and reputation with my contacts. I've got plenty of time for people who want to succeed and just need to tap into some resources I may have, but I don't have any time to drag anybody else's baggage along and live their lives for them.
In any case, it's all a moot point. Cut it any way you want, you've got no place doing anything for his good. As you have already said, it's HIS OWN good you're talking about here - it's his, not yours, so stop being a kaypo.
You got contact for bouncer? What is the pay? -
You stupid or something? Read the second paragraph of the post you quoted.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
You stupid or something? Read the second paragraph of the post you quoted.
I purposely want to make you angry just in case you have not realised.
And why should I bother about what you say about being kaypo? I do what I like and it is none of your concern. Beside, he is the one who enquire for help.
Thanks for not being Helpful. Really unappreciate your innovative insight and constructive suggestion.
by the way, do you really know what is ADHD?
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Originally posted by Lokey:
Beside, he is the one who enquire for help.
Oh really? Let's see:
Originally posted by Lokey:If I never learn how to communicate with him (as in these type of people), I
never would.So you want to talk to him - nothing about him wanting to talk to you.
Originally posted by Lokey:I tried to communicate with him loh.
I prompt him some question he reply so eventually I get to know him better.So you want to talk to him - nothing about him wanting to talk to you.
Originally posted by Lokey:Somehow I believe that he has some aspect and view of life which I am kin to know.
So you want to talk to him - nothing about him wanting to talk to you.
Originally posted by Lokey:Yes that is the first thing I thought of. And I am fine with that if he does not want to make friend with me. So far all the people that I have met in this gym are friendly and very kin to exchange ideas and pointers. So this guy's reluctance actually make him the "odd" guy, which make him a outcast, irregardless of his background.
Oh, so sweet. It;s so touching that you want to reach out to him. Still, looks like you want to talk to him rather than him wanting to talk to you.
Originally posted by Lokey:It is quite natural: that a new kid join a new class, the class would welcome him and try to talk and make friends with him. But if he reject the offer. The classmates will learn that this guy is odd and humm you know the rest. And it would sad story.
Again, so touching and so much proof that you're the one trying to get in his pants.
Originally posted by Lokey:he can used email, note how to reply, but lied to me that he never check his mail and purposely dont want to reply.
Even better - this shows he doesn't want to talk to you.
Originally posted by Lokey:The interesting thing about this guy is that he read email but he don't reply to email. It is quite daunting for the sender as there is no feedback. I already told him that it is very rude not to reply to mail but he just does not listen. Somehow I doubt that "he know how to reply email ".
He has a msn messager account but he never log on, so how do I chat to him online?Again, this shows he doesn't want to talk to you.
Originally posted by Lokey:I think he is someone worthy to know or befriend with so how I should solve this problem.
KAYPO!
Originally posted by Lokey:I just feel that I can do so much more before another of them do something wrong again.
KAYPO!
Originally posted by Lokey:I know I can mind my own business and forget about him. As I say in previous post I am trying to understand his view of life. If I don't attempt I would never learn.
KAYPO!
Originally posted by Lokey:It is just a personal character. I would help any1 who need help when they are within my limits.
KAYPO!
Originally posted by Lokey:Befriending is just befriending no reason, I like that person so I bother to talk to him loh. I can know stuff that is on the other side which is something new to me. I am curious guy so humm.
KAYPO!
Originally posted by Lokey:Just talk a friend who is a psychologist during lunch, her advice is for me to leave him alone and best to stay far from him especially when not show signs that he wants to befriend a person.
Your friend already told you to leave it alone but you still want to KAYPO!
There's more than enough evidence above to demonstrate a clear pattern that he doesn't want to talk to you, but you want to go and disturb him. Now you want to claim he approached you for help?
I ask again, are you stupid or what? if you want to lie, do it properly. With all the evidence in this thread, you must have rocks in your head to believe you can get away with something so obvious.
Here's a tip: if you want to lie, don't spread your legs so wide and hang an "OPEN 24 HOURS" sign on your arse.
Originally posted by Lokey:by the way, do you really know what is ADHD?.
Let's get one thing straight. I've forgotten more than you'll ever learn about ADHD or any other aspect of psychology, so don't even try, pumpkin.
Originally posted by Lokey:I purposely want to make you angry just in case you have not realised.
I wouldn't worry about that. You couldn't possibly make me angry because, to be blunt, I'm just too fucking busy laughing at you.
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being frens doesn't nid to educated... rl frens would nt mind...
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Gendanken: I am impressed because you actually read through all my posting. But did I accurately write what I intend to write? Many things have happened and it is not written down. Personally, I dont think it is conclusive to place a judgement.
Anyway, Thanks for you help. I already got an answer from my other friends.
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Given that you don't know what you're saying, your being impressed doesn't mean anything.
The difference between you and me is that I take note of everything, even if I don't agree with it, and integrate it into a whole picture with differential analyses to weedout red herrings. That's why it took me a total of seven minutes to pull all of those quotes together and post. You, on the other hand, take bits and pieces from all over the place and try to jerryrig something that suits your mood, and that's why there are so many holes in your story.
That's also why my charge-out rate is more than three grand a day and my word's good in any court of law, while you try to play amateur Freud without any credibility and without making a single red cent out of it. It's the difference between professionals and wannabes. I'll dumb it down for you: you may think that people fear and admire you, but in reality you're just a good-for-nothing pretender.
Now you've admitted in so many words that you didn't write what you intended to write. Well and good. That being the case, what you have written doesn't mean a god damn thing. Let me dumb it down for you again: you've just admitted that you're full of shit.
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stop nagging. i think its even more degrading to look down on another person in such a matter.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
Given that you don't know what you're saying, your being impressed doesn't mean anything.
The difference between you and me is that I take note of everything, even if I don't agree with it, and integrate it into a whole picture with differential analyses to weedout red herrings. That's why it took me a total of seven minutes to pull all of those quotes together and post. You, on the other hand, take bits and pieces from all over the place and try to jerryrig something that suits your mood, and that's why there are so many holes in your story.
That's also why my charge-out rate is more than three grand a day and my word's good in any court of law, while you try to play amateur Freud without any credibility and without making a single red cent out of it. It's the difference between professionals and wannabes. I'll dumb it down for you: you may think that people fear and admire you, but in reality you're just a good-for-nothing pretender.
Now you've admitted in so many words that you didn't write what you intended to write. Well and good. That being the case, what you have written doesn't mean a god damn thing. Let me dumb it down for you again: you've just admitted that you're full of shit.
Very egoistic and weird guy. Do you have any friends at all? -
Why do you need to use powerful english to talk with him?
Don't tell me you even use english to talk with him...
and don't tell me he doesn't understand chinese...
Patience my friend... It'll change someone...
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
I'm curious about what kind of psychologist your friend is. I'm a registered psychologist, and professionally I would certainly never have told you what she did.
I'll give the benefit of the doubt here - it's possible that she said something entirely different and that you've reported what you think you heard.
You want to sequence his genome?! After all that talk about you wanting to save him from being an outcast, you're looking at him as a specimen under a microscope? Just who the hell do you think you are?
Bugger violent criminal tendencies - I'm a law-abiding fellow and I'd love to kick seven shades of shit out of you.
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I agree with you. That friend of lokey's is likely a freshie with little or no first hand clinical experience and is just applying her own stereotypes.
I was also a Psy major by the way but I am not practicing coz I ended up deciding on a career in translation and publishing of books and media instead. If close association and proximity is anything to go by according to lokey's standards, I am also a Prison Counsellor with access to every prison institution in Singapore except Changi Women's Prison (no male counsellors there except for very special cases).
To lokey:
These guys are just like any one of us. You don't have to look at them in a different light at all just because they had an so called "atypical" past. Forget the friggin yellow ribbon crap, HE IS NOT DIFFERENT. Just deal with him as you would with any other person. For every member of society who is unwilling to grant them a fresh lease of life, there are plenty more who are more than willing to go the extra mile with them. More often than not, it is not a matter of "You" accepting "Them" as if they desperately need you, but letting nature take its course and allowing them to reintegrate without smoldering them. Dear lokey, thank you for your messiah complex style obssesion but the key to the second prison is really in his own hands, not yours...
About the expert opinion that your psychologist friend tried to impress upon you about "such people" maiming your life and walking out on friendships, I can tell you from a first person perspective that some of my closest and longest standing friendships are with these people, and we are like brothers. Of the people who left me in the lurch or betrayed my friendship in the course of my life, I must say, sadly, that none are from such a background and all were intelligent and capable people like yourself. Of course, I do not deny the fact that there exists some individuals among gangsters / ex-convicts who will sell you out if the price is right, but who is to say we ourselves are any better? Such despicable persons can be found at any rung of society and it is definitely unfair to slap the label exclusively on them.
Oh by the way, if tattoos make a person a gangster, then I will probably be a gangster in your eyes, too, if you ever saw me.
Take off your coloured lenses please. I'm not homophobic (many of my friends are "alternative" but that doesn't make them any less worthy, mind you...) but you really give me the feeling you are not straight as you say. Going by the way you wrote, it almost seems as if you are on the prowl for a BF and got attracted to this person's tattoos, background, behaviour whatever blah blah, and wants to snag him but yet is held back by your Scelerophobic inhibitions.
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Wow...
"Very egoistic and weird guy. Do you have any friends at all?"
lokey, are you talking about yourself?
Anyway, Mr lokey Sykologeest Wannbii, ADHD symptomes are not compatible with clinical depression and typically do not manifest simultaneously in a single subject, and I seriously do not think any psychiatrist would diagnose a person with bipolar disorder AND depression at the same time coz it's a rep. Do you even know the acronyms you are throwing about like shurikens?
Considering the way you followed through with this juicy but pointless conversation you probably have 1, developed the coping mechanism for ADHD or 2, you were misdiagnosed as a kid, or 3, you have a very interesting instance of a delusional mental state in which you attempt to identify with a target group of people afflicted with an ailment, which until today is still a cause for debate and controversy amongst health professionals as its existence cannot be established. I can recommend some excellent psychiatrists for you if you want.
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Originally posted by Dumbfreako:
I'm curious about what kind of psychologist your friend is. I'm a registered psychologist, and professionally I would certainly never have told you what she did.
I'll give the benefit of the doubt here - it's possible that she said something entirely different and that you've reported what you think you heard.
You want to sequence his genome?! After all that talk about you wanting to save him from being an outcast, you're looking at him as a specimen under a microscope? Just who the hell do you think you are?
Bugger violent criminal tendencies - I'm a law-abiding fellow and I'd love to kick seven shades of shit out of you.
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I agree with you. That friend of lokey's is likely a freshie with little or no first hand clinical experience and is just applying her own stereotypes.
I was also a Psy major by the way but I am not practicing coz I ended up deciding on a career in translation and publishing of books and media instead. If close association and proximity is anything to go by according to lokey's standards, I am also a Prison Counsellor with access to every prison institution in Singapore except Changi Women's Prison (no male counsellors there except for very special cases).
To lokey:
These guys are just like any one of us. You don't have to look at them in a different light at all just because they had an so called "atypical" past. Forget the friggin yellow ribbon crap, HE IS NOT DIFFERENT. Just deal with him as you would with any other person. For every member of society who is unwilling to grant them a fresh lease of life, there are plenty more who are more than willing to go the extra mile with them. More often than not, it is not a matter of "You" accepting "Them" as if they desperately need you, but letting nature take its course and allowing them to reintegrate without smoldering them. Dear lokey, thank you for your messiah complex style obssesion but the key to the second prison is really in his own hands, not yours...
About the expert opinion that your psychologist friend tried to impress upon you about "such people" maiming your life and walking out on friendships, I can tell you from a first person perspective that some of my closest and longest standing friendships are with these people, and we are like brothers. Of the people who left me in the lurch or betrayed my friendship in the course of my life, I must say, sadly, that none are from such a background and all were intelligent and capable people like yourself. Of course, I do not deny the fact that there exists some individuals among gangsters / ex-convicts who will sell you out if the price is right, but who is to say we ourselves are any better? Such despicable persons can be found at any rung of society and it is definitely unfair to slap the label exclusively on them.
Oh by the way, if tattoos make a person a gangster, then I will probably be a gangster in your eyes, too, if you ever saw me.
Take off your coloured lenses please. I'm not homophobic (many of my friends are "alternative" but that doesn't make them any less worthy, mind you...) but you really give me the feeling you are not straight as you say. Going by the way you wrote, it almost seems as if you are on the prowl for a BF and got attracted to this person's tattoos, background, behaviour whatever blah blah, and wants to snag him but yet is held back by your Scelerophobic inhibitions.
First. I don't treat that gangster friend of mine as a gangster or ex-gangster anymore. A friend is a friend.
Both friends (ex-gangster or psychologist ) have mentioned that gangsters can be dangerous and violent, armed with knifes. And I was told to be careful dealing with them. He say it himself and mentioned he is sort of the better one.
Gangster tattoo is different from artistic tattoo. I can see their differences.
Sad to say, his tattoo is a typical gangster tattoo, all messy with no theme. Like rojak. I ask him to put on more clothing when out in the public and also to remove some away. LOL.
The fact I dont ask about his past much, especially about the gangster's life. All the questions that I ask him was to check if he is dangerous to be with. The end conclusion is that he is fine.
His behaviour, quite ok to me.
Why the concern? My friend's mind is pretty messy. He is very fragile. I really in fear that he would commit suicide, if his girlfriend left him or his parent pass away, or I have say something wrong what make him upset.
And I am quite vexed on how to help him on this aspect.
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Originally posted by Dumbfreako:
Wow...
"Very egoistic and weird guy. Do you have any friends at all?"
lokey, are you talking about yourself?
Anyway, Mr lokey Sykologeest Wannbii, ADHD symptomes are not compatible with clinical depression and typically do not manifest simultaneously in a single subject, and I seriously do not think any psychiatrist would diagnose a person with bipolar disorder AND depression at the same time coz it's a rep. Do you even know the acronyms you are throwing about like shurikens?
Considering the way you followed through with this juicy but pointless conversation you probably have 1, developed the coping mechanism for ADHD or 2, you were misdiagnosed as a kid, or 3, you have a very interesting instance of a delusional mental state in which you attempt to identify with a target group of people afflicted with an ailment, which until today is still a cause for debate and controversy amongst health professionals as its existence cannot be established. I can recommend some excellent psychiatrists for you if you want.
Yes you are right. depression is what he has before ealier on. bipolar is what he is having now severe mood swing. But he is better now, I hope.Thanks for feedback. This thread is not pointless I do learnt a lot of things from it. And I really appreciate everyone feedback and comments. (even that Gedanken, though I dont quite like him)