GF lied to me. I am very sad.
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Bro Rock Star and all who replied, thanks alot for guiding me along this tough time of my life. I never felt so shitty before.
She told that she confess because we wants me to know. She is asking me for another chance to prove herself. I
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give her a chance to proof her love... if few months, or even years later u found that she is still cheating... then say byebye to her..
U not going to marry her tml, right ? give her sometimes to prove lar ~ also give u sometimes to calm down ...
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the past does matter. The way he/she conducted herself in the past may indicate the future, unless the person has a steely determination to improve.
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now is more like an ego problem for u TS
u dont want her just because of her past
=_=
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She sounds like a gal who needs a listening ear and support all the time. When u and her go thru rough patches in future, pls do look out. She may be highly tempted to seek a supporting shoulder. If she does, then i'm afraid u may have to say bye bye.
Take it as a test to gauge her. Anyway, i wish u good luck and hope she really changes for the better. You may wana ask her if u and her really go thru tough periods, ask her how she would deal with it.
Good luck!
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She is not worth yr love. The problem is also not abt sex of her past. Is more of the conduct of her /morality issue. She is married and had extra martial affair? Yes, is a bad marriage but that is not an excuse to conduct herself in such way. If like that all sg guy who had martial affair is not guilty in anyway. Cos all of them thinks they are treated badly in some way.
Both are u are just into 4 months. Hope u still got a chance to break free yrself.
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women are a two pronged sword hor
fk it la, u listen to yourself better la
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i also got talk to her about her mentality..married liao can have affairs? she says that that guy really cares for me etc..
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
i also got talk to her about her mentality..married liao can have affairs? she says that that guy really cares for me etc..
that 1 dont care
from today onwards, if still got cheat on you, then bye bye lor
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i know bro..she no dare cheat me..i treated her so nice..
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still confusing..most says give chance and some bros say kill lah..
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Its all up to you, u try to imagine how would you be without her, if u think u would be better off without her, go ahead. If not, wait no longer and accept her.
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i think if i leave her. i will probably never find another gal like her liao.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
Got this news from my gf and it totally broke me down. I have not been sleeping from yesterday till now thinking and thinking.
Have been together with my gf for around 4 months and she has a bad past and she was really truthful about it. Told me basically everything about her past and why she divorced.
To recap a little bit on her background she was actually in a bad marriage with her ex husband for 2 yrs plus due to her ex husband behaviour, basically ignoring her and neglects her. And then she falls in love with an ex colleague which sweet talks her and show her concerns. She also had sex with that cheater colleague due to her love for him.
But it turned out that the guy is actually a cheat and she broke off with him. She also told me another colleague also went after her and he was the relative of the first cheater colleague because they are working in a family owned business. She dun likes him initially but she tried and eventually that guy shows her that he is very sincere and she also falls in love with him. (she actually wanted to use this guy to divert attention so that she can manage to forget that cheater colleague)
But she told me that her last sexual encounter was with that cheater colleague and she has no intimate relationships with this guy initially when we started this relationship. On and off we did discuss about all these stuff and she says that she did not had and sex with this particular guy.
Yesterday she told me that she does not want to hide from me anymore and she did have sex with the second guy (still let him shoot inside). I think she really got poor thinking that nowadays HIV, STDs are so common.
And she lied to me initially because she do not want me to leave her thinking that she is a loose women. (intimate relationships with 2 guys that are actually relatives) She was thinking of telling me the truth but she knows that she is taking a chance of whether I will accept or leave her. But she knows that I will probably leave her after knowing the truth. She was thinking of when to break out the news to me and was planning to do it after valentine day because she really wanna spend that day with her love one and she do not have a good valentine day for many years liao. She actually says that she is guilty of hiding the truth from me initially fearing of me leaving her. But decided to come clean with it because she loves me and do not wan to hide anything from me.
After her telling me the truth, my heart actually went scattered and I was in a complete loss because I really put in my heart and soul into this relationship. She says that it is ok if I wanna leave her because it was her fault and she still loves me (she loves me and dun mind me leaving because she wants me to be happy). She also told me that her feelings for me is completely real and she did love me with all her heart. She did asked me whether I mind her complicated past but I could not answer because it was too sudden for me. A person that I love so much actually lied to me for 4 months, Although she is very truthful on all her past things except this. Now my heart is feeling very sour and I dun know wat to do, if I leave her I will be very very sad and if I stay. The shadow is always there.
if u love her, dun look back at her past... she may hv bad past but as her bf u should help her to walk away from it n get fresh start... she may have hidden the facts from u but still it shows she love u and still tell u.... -
thanks bro..she really tells me everything including some very confidential medical history in her family members..yesterday i wanna to break off with her then she asked me to promised her something.
1. her those 2 incidents
2. her family member medical history.
she told me all these things non of her long time frens even know and she just told me only.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
still confusing..most says give chance and some bros say kill lah..
Why are you making your decision based on what others are saying to you?
The decision lies within yourself. If you truly love her, even if everyone in this thread asked you to forget her, you will still choose to be with her.
Maybe the question that you ought to ask yourself is whether you still truly love her or are you getting affected by her past after she revealed them to you?
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
thanks bro..she really tells me everything including some very confidential medical history in her family members..yesterday i wanna to break off with her then she asked me to promised her something.
1. her those 2 incidents
2. her family member medical history.
she told me all these things non of her long time frens even know and she just told me only.
so now is break off or back norm? -
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thanks bros..i still loves her but i am abit affected by her past..
current we still together liao.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
thanks bros..i still loves her but i am abit affected by her past..
current we still together liao.
There is nothing you can do about her past. It is over and done with.
But you can help to change her future to a better one.
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
thanks bros..i still loves her but i am abit affected by her past..
current we still together liao.
fyi here oso got sis also...aiya since still 2gether dun create prob, forget wat she said n continue loving her lo...
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Hi bro and Sis, thanks for the help.
but one problem of mine is that i like to probe too much into her past. i did not ask so much about my past gf history because i was younger then.
but sometimes most gals asked liao they also dun wanna tell too much about their past..
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Originally posted by Jerry1:
Hi bro and Sis, thanks for the help.
but one problem of mine is that i like to probe too much into her past. i did not ask so much about my past gf history because i was younger then.
but sometimes most gals asked liao they also dun wanna tell too much about their past..
Since you know it is a problem, then why don't you work on curbing it?
What's the point of knowing everything in the past? Are you going to be able to do something about it? I agree it is alright to ask about our partner's medical history and all that, but other than that, if he is reluctant to tell me, I will not probe until he is ready to reveal.
Sometimes there are things which are better not to be known.
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wat i am guessing is that i kept on probing on her past..i told her any lies i will break off with her..so probably she dare not tell me for 3 months..she says she pondering whether to tell or not. because she knows that i will break off with her if she were to tell. but she chose to tell in the end because she know that i must know all these..
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ask yourself what's love, to you.
and then you should know what to do...
love to me, should be something which allow the other party to carry that smile all day long =)