Dilemma
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Caught between 2 fantastic guys.
One is a long term bf who can be both sweet and bad tempered. Communication is always a problem because it almost always ends up in a quarrel whenever we talk about issues. We still don't know how to talk to each other. yet. It is nobody's fault. Just different personalities. Apart from that, there are many issues between us still unsolved. But he is always working so hard, i know he is genuinely trying to make it work. The thing is, sometimes I am tired and can't help but wonder if we are simply unsuitable?
The other is a guy who made his move recently. Only then i know he has been waiting all these while and what he has gone through for me.
No matter who i choose, i will hurt the other. Right now, I just hope to do the right thing for all three of us.
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either way, its your choice. . .
but 1stly, why u got into a rs with the 1st guy, if u 're not ready? U don know him tad well, but u still commit. . . now when things don work out, u wanna stray?
leave the second guy alone till u manage to think over about the 1st guy. . . -
since is so hard to choose
i am your only choice
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Originally posted by Candele:
Caught between 2 fantastic guys.
One is a long term bf who can be both sweet and bad tempered. Communication is always a problem because it almost always ends up in a quarrel whenever we talk about issues. We still don't know how to talk to each other. yet. It is nobody's fault. Just different personalities. Apart from that, there are many issues between us still unsolved. But he is always working so hard, i know he is genuinely trying to make it work. The thing is, sometimes I am tired and can't help but wonder if we are simply unsuitable?
The other is a guy who made his move recently. Only then i know he has been waiting all these while and what he has gone through for me.
No matter who i choose, i will hurt the other. Right now, I just hope to do the right thing for all three of us.
u sound like many "typical" girl. who gets into a rs just for the sake of it. Even if the 1st one hurt u along the way, isnt it the price for being in a rs in the 1st place? Like having pets, u don just dump us after u're bored, gal. . .
And in a rs, there can onli be 2 in it. . . not 3. no such thing as 3 of us. Grow up la. -
Originally posted by youyayu:
since is so hard to choose
i am your only choice
lol
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did you go out with this other guy while still attached to your current bf ? ....
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your story already told me you have decided to choose the second guy.
Because you are not willing to work as hard as the first guy works for you. Instead of trying to see what the problem is and how to communicate with him better, you decided to feel tired instead and started to think whether the two of you are suitable not. You are doubting your relationship. You know that if anything happens you have the second guy to fall back.
Why did you do such thing. Poor first guy. Didnt the second guy know you already had a bf when he made his move? If he already did knew about the first guy, then its his own problem, dont worry about him feeling hurt, because he already knew you had a boyfriend.
Let me say this, if you go with the second guy, your bf would be devastated, but if stay with your bf, the second guy would not be that hurt because you already had a bf in the first place, and he can sort of expect this to happen when he made his move.
Dont give up on a guy so easily. The new guy may not be the better guy. Guys are always sweet when courting you... understand?
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Grow up. If the 1st guy read this he would be disappointed with you.
Basically all you want to say is that you are in a relationship but you have found a liking for some other guy. Now you want to be with him but you do not know how to break up with your boyfriend.
Please do not come here to find support for your unfaithful ways. Do what you will.
In this case, they guy should be the one being protected. Now its becoming more common for girls to play around with a guy's feeling. There are tons of information in the mass media about how to seduce a guy, how to play hard to get, how to make sure he is not cheating on you, how to emotionally blackmail him so as to gain the upper hand in the relationship and etc. Honestly, women are not as vulnerable as what some of you may claim anymore.
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i agree with MaNyZeR. I loss my ex-Gf to a guy whom made his move while our relationship was unstable. I was devasted. I gave her up. Since you are already thinking and choosing if you wanted to be with another guy, it is quite obvious that you are not worthy of your bf's love for you.
Break up with him. He will evolve into a better person and will in turn find true love
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Communication is always a problem because it almost always ends up in a quarrel whenever we talk about issues. We still don't know how to talk to each other ... Apart from that, there are many issues between us still unsolved... I am tired and can't help but wonder if we are simply unsuitable?Really, are you looking for justification?
It is obvious that you wish not to salvage the relationship anymore. You are 'tired' and set on leaving it all to fate ('we are simply unsuitable').
Since your mind has already been made up, then why do you still post here? -
this sounds awfully familiar...
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u think barter trade ha
two separate issues lah
first u decide whether shd stay with the 1st or not
then settle one problem liao then settle another problem ma?
not like cannot be single right?
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The 2nd guy is crafty! Making his move when you and ur current bf's relationship is on the rocks! Hey! You chosen the 2nd guy already right? WHY dun like this... take a break away from this "Love Triangle"... Cool down first... maybe after a week or two, your mind is calm then make a decision! Relationships cannot drag! God bless! Good luck!!!
-Donovan
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Excuses doesn't take the bitch title off you... The fact is that you want to be with the new one but you dun want to be blamed thus you wanna push the blame to us.
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I know where you guys are coming from, but some of you doesn't know the same about me. But i appreciate all these comments.
I have been trying hard in this relationship. used to be sweet and rosy, but things changed as with all relationships. Some are able to keep up, some are not. We are still trying to.
I know the two guys are separate entities and i shouldn't lump them as one thing to talk about. But how many are clear-minded enough when caught in something like that? The reason I am in AA is because I am not. Thankfully, some comments are there to help me out on that. It cleared my mind a little.
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Originally posted by youyayu:
since is so hard to choose
i am your only choice
+1
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Originally posted by fairlady_xoxo:
this sounds awfully familiar...
Yeaa.
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I guess as long as you are not married yet, you still can make choices. It's only once you take that sacred vow, come hell or highwater, you and your partner MUST NEVER give up easily on each other.
So dont unnecessarily make any committments that will ultimately hurt others, just because you are lonely, possesive or on impulse. True love takes serious committment to keep the flame burning eternally. Love cannot be baised on 'kiasuism' that we grew up with as Singaporeans. We've always been taught to stand on 2 boats to be safe, better than to be sorry. But the problem is, once the boats take off, you can no longer stand on both, but only 1 or you will only fall into the deep waters.
No 2 humans think ever think alike. We are not mirror image of one another. Thus, we really have to communicate with one another on things we want, and not by hints that can be easily misunderstoo. Love needs honest comunication. Without it, we might as well as become strangers.
True love sets you free, not for just one faked moment, but eternally, if you find and treasure that quality in your flawed partner which all flawed humans will at least have one or a few, which appeals to you that can last a lifetime thru good and bad times - good nature, kind, generous, etc, etc - characteristics that goes beyond pure changeable materialism.
Make friends, take your time. True love is more than just having sex, being possesive, buying that HDB flat quickly or even having children. But do understand there is no perfection in this world. There will NEVER be the perfect guy, but i am sure you can settle down with a good guy.
No one can predict the future. However, the future can be determined and projected, and it is by both's confidence and faith in each flawed human partner to face the constant of change courageously together.
May you make the right choice. In the event you don't, don't blame yourself if you had truly tried your best to make things work out. As long as you had tried your best and fell, and not because of some petty excuses, just stand bravely up and continue on, just as million others had done before you.
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Originally posted by Candele:
I know where you guys are coming from, but some of you doesn't know the same about me. But i appreciate all these comments.
I have been trying hard in this relationship. used to be sweet and rosy, but things changed as with all relationships. Some are able to keep up, some are not. We are still trying to.
I know the two guys are separate entities and i shouldn't lump them as one thing to talk about. But how many are clear-minded enough when caught in something like that? The reason I am in AA is because I am not. Thankfully, some comments are there to help me out on that. It cleared my mind a little.
That's why the first step is to distant yourself from BOTH then you can evaluate what YOU want and understand yourself and what you want. The problem now doesn't lie in whether one guy is better than the other, or whether you get along with one guy better or not - but rather what sort of rship you want for yourself.
Who knows - it might end up that NEITHER suits you and without either, you can even be happier? If you complicate matters, in the end everyone suffers because you can't make up your mind. As far as I see it, being fair means to not 'exchange' one for another because you can't compare them. Being fair is to understand yourself enough to not regret whatever decision you make - for better or worse.
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Originally posted by fairlady_xoxo:
this sounds awfully familiar...
Lol, probably happened a few million times already.
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awww.
i sound like 2nd guy before.
anyw, i think it is up to u to decide. Like ur future to consider. do u see urself in gd hands with 1st guy ? is he going to last up to marriage ? Is he financially capable ? does he suit u at all with all e quarrels n stuffs?Who will treat u better in long run ?
To be fair, i would say both guys loves u , but it is e approach n method of showing care n concern.
I think to be more rational, u could really use e above qns to tink abt it
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Originally posted by Candele:
Caught between 2 fantastic guys.
One is a long term bf who can be both sweet and bad tempered. Communication is always a problem because it almost always ends up in a quarrel whenever we talk about issues. We still don't know how to talk to each other. yet. It is nobody's fault. Just different personalities. Apart from that, there are many issues between us still unsolved. But he is always working so hard, i know he is genuinely trying to make it work. The thing is, sometimes I am tired and can't help but wonder if we are simply unsuitable?
The other is a guy who made his move recently. Only then i know he has been waiting all these while and what he has gone through for me.
No matter who i choose, i will hurt the other. Right now, I just hope to do the right thing for all three of us.
There is no such thing as the right thing for all three of you.
There is only such thing as doing what is best for yourself.
Obviously, your current relationship is unsustainable for the long term. Your boyfriend will not change as long as you continue to be there.
You are having doubts because you are not sure if your current boyfriend is THE guy of your life.
Unfortunately, the only way to know is to take a calculated risk and try out other relationship with other men.
There are sacrifices in life you must make.
Let there be no regrets for whatever decision you take.
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i like to say, Singlehood is the best :D
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Originally posted by brainerror:
i like to say, Singlehood is the best :D
I'll prove u wrong. pm me ur contact info =)
Aside to TS: Hey i dun wish to c a repeat of the cathay cineplex incident agn. =x