Not the type of person to stay in agony, but its still a problem I am finding hard to solve ..
Haven't had any experience in a relationship tho i m supposed to be 21 this year.. so i can't tell the signs or anything..
I have this best friend of mine whom i have known since JC.. abt 4 years ago, and we have remained best friends til now, or at least i regard her as one.. its like there's this really comfortable feeling just to be around her.. but in those 2 years there was only friendship, sharing secrets, having those nice heart-to-heart conversations.. though after she found a bf i stayed away from her most of the time, occasionally meeting her in the sch library and stuff.. it was a little bit hard to adapt, but in the end i did and i thought maybe it was nice to have such a nice close friend of the opposite sex..
well to this day, after graduation and passing through NS we remained quite close friends even tho there was minimal contact.. and at the time i was in NS for a while I had a crush on another classmate, and she helped me cross that hurdle at that time when i was rejected, even helping me to pass her bdae present to her..
now in the year when everyone is turning 21 and having their birthday parties, it was only at her birthday party that i felt rather emotional, not the emo kind of emotional, but like feelings of happiness and stuff.. it was quite good..
she broke up with her bf , whom i knew as a distant friend quite some time ago.. but i am unsure about her current status anyway... in our recent conversations the familiar confortable feeling is back, and its like.. a really blissful feeling...
So, to be more clear about the problem is... i am not sure if it is really love. or even infatuation. but this feeling felt v different from when i had that crush on another friend, at that time it was mixed feelings of happiness, bitterness, and fear of rejection.. now my feelings are like, totally bliss and nothing else? its like plunging myself into a dream world where things go slower, just by talking to her...
then again, i havent seen her for v long actually for these past 2 years, even tho the dream-like feeling is the same.. sometimes i wonder, can there be feelings of family or brotherly-sisterly love in these situations..? I mean, I don't think everything has to jump into lust then into love or something like those typical '1-hit KO' 'love at first sight' relationships .... am i right?
still confused..
i'd say. you might still have feelings for her. but that might not be love. that's too strong a term to use for now. i suggest u can try talking to her more often now that you've realized a slight interest for her. and see where it goes. sometimes defining the exact feelings at too early a stage, it actually spoils the feeling of courtship and dating. most importantly, find out if she is still single and still has the heart the same like few years ago. enjoy yr time w her :)
Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love#Chemical_basis
Love is your brain fooling you.
Love is giving and not taking, unconditionally.
Originally posted by td88:Not the type of person to stay in agony, but its still a problem I am finding hard to solve ..
Haven't had any experience in a relationship tho i m supposed to be 21 this year.. so i can't tell the signs or anything..
I have this best friend of mine whom i have known since JC.. abt 4 years ago, and we have remained best friends til now, or at least i regard her as one.. its like there's this really comfortable feeling just to be around her.. but in those 2 years there was only friendship, sharing secrets, having those nice heart-to-heart conversations.. though after she found a bf i stayed away from her most of the time, occasionally meeting her in the sch library and stuff.. it was a little bit hard to adapt, but in the end i did and i thought maybe it was nice to have such a nice close friend of the opposite sex..
well to this day, after graduation and passing through NS we remained quite close friends even tho there was minimal contact.. and at the time i was in NS for a while I had a crush on another classmate, and she helped me cross that hurdle at that time when i was rejected, even helping me to pass her bdae present to her..
now in the year when everyone is turning 21 and having their birthday parties, it was only at her birthday party that i felt rather emotional, not the emo kind of emotional, but like feelings of happiness and stuff.. it was quite good..
she broke up with her bf , whom i knew as a distant friend quite some time ago.. but i am unsure about her current status anyway... in our recent conversations the familiar confortable feeling is back, and its like.. a really blissful feeling...
So, to be more clear about the problem is... i am not sure if it is really love. or even infatuation. but this feeling felt v different from when i had that crush on another friend, at that time it was mixed feelings of happiness, bitterness, and fear of rejection.. now my feelings are like, totally bliss and nothing else? its like plunging myself into a dream world where things go slower, just by talking to her...
then again, i havent seen her for v long actually for these past 2 years, even tho the dream-like feeling is the same.. sometimes i wonder, can there be feelings of family or brotherly-sisterly love in these situations..? I mean, I don't think everything has to jump into lust then into love or something like those typical '1-hit KO' 'love at first sight' relationships .... am i right?
still confused..
Anyway why do you need to distance yourself from her after she got a boyfriend?
Seems like a common pattern that guys always tend to do end up doing some weird weird behaviour in an attempt to behave maturely.
You can always suggest to her "I want to love you." ![]()
since u r nt sure of ur feelings for her..then just treat her like one of ur good buddy!.There r many nice girls out there, maybe one day u find someone more suitable for u.![]()
Originally posted by voice.00:since u r nt sure of ur feelings for her..then just treat her like one of ur good buddy!.There r many nice girls out there, maybe one day u find someone more suitable for u.
Cannot!!!! TS likes that girl, so he must go for her.
Relationship formed out of a friendship is usually more stable.
So it is time for TS to be a MAN and tell her he want to love her. ![]()
when i fell in love, it was becoz i thought that i should give myself a chance...love was complex and confusing...when you love someone, you learn to appreciate him/her unconditionally...it was the first time ever in my life that i saw someone as perfect as she was...ofcourse there are risks when this happens..the deeper you dig, the more painful it could be if something happens...
her you ever heard a song titled Lucky?
love? hais.. i think i'll skip answering this topics.
Love is a feeling
love
should be something that bring yourself to make the other party smile everyday
her happiness should be yours too
seeing her smile should make you happy alr
Originally posted by parn:
Cannot!!!! TS likes that girl, so he must go for her.Relationship formed out of a friendship is usually more stable.
So it is time for TS to be a MAN and tell her he want to love her.
Hello TD88,
Parn has a point there. Why must you be silent about your love for her when she feels that maybe you should make that first move to confirm her curiosity about your feelings for her....had she already got a crush before on you before you found out that you too had this special feelings for her....just wondering maybe both of you were not really willing to express each other feelings when both of you should had made that known without thinking whether it was ok for any of you to express that feeling first without being embarrassed I guess.
Joe
love..?probably a moment of impulse
you have gone down the wrong path in your relationship. the moment the two of you are good friends, it's over...stay as good friends. you don't want to screw it up..there are plenty of other girls out there.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
if you replace the word "Love" with your name, and you feel this way towards her, then go ask her out =)
i dont know about girls. but usually guys, i think, fall in love easily and can get out of 1 as well. i think for u, u might have feelings for the girl and subconsciously, u were afraid that she treats u oni as a good friend and not ready to accept u for anything.
all i can say is that just do watever u want. and dont regret. who knows shes thinking the same thing. just tell her how u feel.
sorry for the extra post
Q.C. Pak:
Love is giving and not taking, unconditionally.
From a person who has love and then lost it, I agree with that the most. Love is when you no longer think about yourself.
Love makes you loose ego. That's why people who know, will never confuse it with lust, crush, or physical attraction.