so should i have used the voucher?
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ur bf is jealous that another guy is giving u freebies...this is common behavior in most guys...and his action shows wat type of guys he is...
if he is dont have any responses after knoowing other guys is giving u 'gift', perhaps u need to reconsider whether if he is serious abt u...
and if he turn violent, u may need to consider whether if he is the right guy for u in the long term...
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Originally posted by parn:
Are you all having fun participating by breaking up TS's relationship?
Regardless of TS's boyfriend response to TS about the usage of the voucher, it is not surprising that childish guys like TS's boyfriend exists.
Don't tell me you all born sensible?
Please look at yourself first before you try to step on others especially when nobody here is perfect.
NO...Since TS wanna hear different views from other people, we give her our views.
If you think you can give her advices that will not step all over her, please do so.
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Hello to all.. i'm LIZv bf,or shd i say ex bf?
anyway, to all the people who hav said that i should go Fu*k off..she is my doormat..she deserves better.etc..yeah..i do not blame u guys for saying al these..it only natural for people to react this way when they only hear 1 side of the story. yes Livz did say she has been cutting down etc..yes i agree..she has..
However,u guys are not in our relationship..u do not understand anything. am i wrong to say that? she has still been buying stuff cos it's cute,cos she needs it,(but does she?),it's on offer.etc
let me ask u 1 question. how would u feel if your partner in furture spends more than what u think is necessary <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:SimSun; panose-1:2 1 6 0 3 1 1 1 1 1; mso-font-alt:宋体; mso-font-charset:134; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 135135232 16 0 262145 0;} @font-face {font-family:"\@SimSun"; panose-1:2 1 6 0 3 1 1 1 1 1; mso-font-charset:134; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 135135232 16 0 262145 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:SimSun;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:35.4pt; mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> . but u do not say anything abt it.however 1 day u r out of a job, or u need money to start a business. or u need the $ for an op? whatever.. and u realise that your partner is unable to help u out as he/she has poor spending habits, thus does not save. yes, u may say it's a voucher! it's free! but i look at the bigger picture here, spending when it's not necessary. that's what makes me upset. think hard and carefully before u reply to this. put yourself in a suition when u need $ frm your partner because of some reason and shit! there isn't any... people.. i'm thinking in the long run. if i marry she in furture, and she is like that.poor spending habits.. who will suffer? both of us.. so don't tell me what it's your money not his.. what for he care?etc...
i'm sorry that so many of u guys are only thinking of the small picture ahead... sigh..
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ur bf power la....people can make a mountain out of a molehill, he lagi powerful, can make a mountain out of nothing, imo u did npthing wrong at all, dont help him find an excuse to justify, he is so in the wrong. tell him that u are unhappy, see what he say, best is ditch him...
anyway to her ex: totally no link la, the case in question now is about the voucher what, whats wrong with getting something free, it makes totally no sense to link it with bad spending habits, you are clearly passing judgement based on your previous impresions of her spending.
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And to think.. its just a minor issue.. haiz..
*amazing grace*
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Zzzz this is turning into a joke.
Is this some April Fools' joke?! (pardon my pun)
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Originally posted by ppin:
Hello to all.. i'm LIZv bf,or shd i say ex bf?
anyway, to all the people who hav said that i should go Fu*k off..she is my doormat..she deserves better.etc..yeah..i do not blame u guys for saying al these..it only natural for people to react this way when they only hear 1 side of the story. yes Livz did say she has been cutting down etc..yes i agree..she has..
However,u guys are not in our relationship..u do not understand anything. am i wrong to say that? she has still been buying stuff cos it's cute,cos she needs it,(but does she?),it's on offer.etc
let me ask u 1 question. how would u feel if your partner in furture spends more than what u think is necessary. but u do not say anything abt it.however 1 day u r out of a job, or u need money to start a business. or u need the $ for an op? whatever.. and u realise that your partner is unable to help u out as he/she has poor spending habits, thus does not save. yes, u may say it's a voucher! it's free! but i look at the bigger picture here, spending when it's not necessary. that's what makes me upset. think hard and carefully before u reply to this. put yourself in a suition when u need $ frm your partner because of some reason and shit! there isn't any... people.. i'm thinking in the long run. if i marry she in furture, and she is like that.poor spending habits.. who will suffer? both of us.. so don't tell me what it's your money not his.. what for he care?etc...
i'm sorry that so many of u guys are only thinking of the small picture ahead... sigh..
ppin's post without all the formatting
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and to those who have said that i'm jealous of that "guy" giving her free stuff.. i'm not so shallow.. i'm sorry to hear that u r so shallow to to say that i'm jealous..because clearly u are not thinking of the bigger picture here.. but rather at facepoint..
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Originally posted by ppin:
and to those who have said that i'm jealous of that "guy" giving her free stuff.. i'm not so shallow.. i'm sorry to hear that u r so shallow to to say that i'm jealous..because clearly u are not thinking of the bigger picture here.. but rather at facepoint..
regradless of what.. i think its a minor issue between u and ur gf.. dont have to be so harsh de..
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I feel so sorry for the threadstarter. You want her to be more frugal so that she will have money for you when you need it and not so that she has money to fall back on in a dire situation.
Selfish.
You weren't looking at the big picture. You were just hiding the voucher behind some bush in the landscape of her previously-poor spending habits.The shoes came free, she jumped at the opportunity to get a pair of free shoes so she wouldn't otherwise have to spend to increase the already-sadly-small number of shoes she owns.
And what do you say? Sigh.
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haha.. for me to fall back on? when did i ever say that i will be the 1 who needs will need the $? yes..that may happen.. but when u r in a marriage.. both of u are in it together! and have u thought of what if she is the 1 who needs the $$ and does not have any cos of poor spending habits. and comes to me for help.. and me being the wiser spender.. has $ to help her.. would surely help her out.. but will it be fair towards me?
me selfish. it shd be the 1 who is the careless or poor spender who is selfish as that person drags down the 2 people together..
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Totally AGREE with Mooku!
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come on guys.. dont argue le lar.. hmm
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I think maybe the BF here is misunderstood.
I think he is unhappy about the habit rather than the actual facts surrounding this particular voucher. He is afraid that what if this voucher doesnt cover the whole cost, for example, just a 50% discount, would the GF then use the voucher if she gets another voucher like this because of her spending habit.
But hey BF, your GF has every right to use her money. And you are not wrong to think ahead and wants her to save for emergency reasons. There is always a solution to every problem. You cannot insist on your way, that is beneficial to you, not her. She of cos cannot keep on spending, that is beneficial to her, not to you. I am assuming that her spending habit is so bad that she does not save any money at all, or worse, owe credits. It is always best to find a win-win situation, that then is consider a solution. Why not both of you talk and limit her monthly spending to a certain amount? Since she seems to be serious to cut down her expenditure to please you, I think you should also understand her need to spend and shop sometimes....you cannot just expect her to buy only what SHE NEEDS.... if you do that, I have to ask you, do you really NEED everything you bought in your life? No right, you cannot exert your perception of needs onto her. Instead work out a solution that pleases her (she gets to shop and spend) and pleases you (she saves an amount every month).
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Originally posted by ppin:
haha.. for me to fall back on? when did i ever say that i will be the 1 who needs will need the $? yes..that may happen.. but when u r in a marriage.. both of u are in it together! and have u thought of what if she is the 1 who needs the $$ and does not have any cos of poor spending habits. and comes to me for help.. and me being the wiser spender.. has $ to help her.. would surely help her out.. but will it be fair towards me?
me selfish. it shd be the 1 who is the careless or poor spender who is selfish as that person drags down the 2 people together..
As I read your posts, I find myself getting angry... I'm really surprised, cos usually I don't give a damn about most things.
When did you ever say you will be the one who needs the money? You certainly didn't say you will be the one, but you did say this: "put yourself in a suition when u need $ frm your partner because of some reason and shit! there isn't any." I'm sorry if the signal I caught, the signal that you have the slightest inclination of relying on her for your financial needs was an erroneous one.
If you have to think about whether it is fair for her to rely on you when you cannot count on her when you need to, I don't think you deserve to be in a relationship at all.
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The shoes came free, she jumped at the opportunity to get a pair of free shoes so she wouldn't otherwise have to spend to increase the already-sadly-small number of shoes she owns. said by - MooKu
to me it isn't as simple as it looks alright.. like i said.. u r not in our relationship.. u do not understand our problems..
to many it would be wise for her to get it free.. but to me the her old self is still lingering there..spending when there isn't a need to.. that might not be a big problem to many.. but it is a sign that will lead to bigger spending $ issues in future for us.. she could have given the voucher to somebody else? i know what i'm gg to say next is crazy to many.. but she could have bought sth and gave it to charity.. won't that just show how selfess she is? and what a good person? who will not find that appualing? i would!!(i'm personally doing charity at my own free will dring my holidays now) i can assure u that. i am was the relationship. and we have fought many times countless time before.. so do not think that it's just bacause of this that im breaking up with her.. it's alot of many other stuff..
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Originally posted by ppin:
The shoes came free, she jumped at the opportunity to get a pair of free shoes so she wouldn't otherwise have to spend to increase the already-sadly-small number of shoes she owns. said by - MooKu
to me it isn't as simple as it looks alright.. like i said.. u r not in our relationship.. u do not understand our problems..
to many it would be wise for her to get it free.. but to me the her old self is still lingering there..spending when there isn't a need to.. that might not be a big problem to many.. but it is a sign that will lead to bigger spending $ issues in future for us.. she could have given the voucher to somebody else? i know what i'm gg to say next is crazy to many.. but she could have bought sth and gave it to charity.. won't that just show how selfess she is? and what a good person? who will not find that appualing? i would!!(i'm personally doing charity at my own free will dring my holidays now) i can assure u that. i am was the relationship. and we have fought many times countless time before.. so do not think that it's just bacause of this that im breaking up with her.. it's alot of many other stuff..
hmm haven you realised that ur gf is feeling remorseful already? why dont u have a discussion with her 1st.. Dont break up with her 1st leh
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Fwah the more I read the more pissed I feel. Zzz.
I am past bothering to rebutt because I feel that it's useless.
Drop it mookie. Save your strength. The guy's not gonna listen. Neither will TS.
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Why is either side so obstinate!! haiz..
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If you have to think about whether it is fair for her to rely on you when you cannot count on her when you need to, I don't think you deserve to be in a relationship at all. - by MooKu.
all i'm saying is again. i am somebody who wishes that both people in a marriage spends wisely and thus is fair and benifits both parties. period.
i do not dersrve to be in a relationship?haha.. why don't u ask her how many times i have reasoned with her so patiently and nicely? taught her so much? made her a better person? she herself has addmitted that 80% of the time she was in the wrong.. i beg to differ..but nvm.. and she did said that she is very thanful for all that i've taught her... if there is anybody who does not derserve to be in a relationship..it's clearly not me..
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Basically, there is a difference in mindset between two parties.
One who wants to change the bad habits of the other.
The other just do no understand why or what is wrong.
This type of problem usually exist only in married couples.
But I guess this is an exception because one party is already thinking ahead.
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your boyfriend aint so understanding.
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Originally posted by brainerror:
your boyfriend aint so understanding.
i think hes abit self centered?
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True, I'm not you and I'm not her. I don't know what other issues the both of you are facing or have had... Maybe I went a little overboard with my comments on you instead of the issue in this topic. I apologize for that.
But I stand by my views on this issue. You can stand by yours too, except I ... don't agree. =\
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Basically, there is a difference in mindset between two parties.
One who wants to change the bad habits of the other.
The other just do no understand why or what is wrong.
This type of problem usually exist only in married couples.
But I guess this is an exception because one party is already thinking ahead. - by soul divine.
yes.. i agree with soul. what is the point of staying in a relationship or knowing that sth will cause big problems in the furture and nt do anything abt it now? and just be in a relationship that u know will not workout in furture? grow up kids!