Hi guys n girls,
Hai, feeling damn confused and sad. Recently, things had not been right for me these days.
My wife is pregnant at the wrong time. You see, i had not had a full time job for a while, i am a freelance diver and at the same time, i do some freelance consultancy works too. The money is not that great but i love what i am doing. On the other hand, my wife and my parents kept saying what i am doing is worng and i had no money to support the family. I refuse to give in and continue to do what i love to do. No CPF, no medical benefits and inability to buy a flat is all they can say.
Sometimes, i feel shitty and sad. I do not realised, the reason why i gave up my full time job is to pursue my interest, which is diving works. I gave a lot to it and had been committed to my interest. So lucky to those whom have parents and spouse to support those doing their interest for a living though it pays shit.
Everyday, everyday they have been telling me the same things over and over again. It makes me very frustrated but i kept my cool. I do not argue or fight back, i just stare at them blankly. But deep down in my heart, i feel so useless as i dare not to give up my interests.
These few years have been shit for me. I lost my first wife and my beautiful daughter due to my mistakes and bo chap attitude, i lost my driving liscense class 3 to class 5. I lost my favourite pet turtles. I lost my regular status in the army and had to pay liquidation damages close to 60K. I had nothing now. No savings and practically useless in all aspects of life. My freelance works get lesser and lesser.
As stated earlier on, my girlfriend is pregnant, we got married. I felt that i could not give her the best of life. I felt so useless. Nobody support whatever i am doing. I try to jump but i just sat on the ledge thinking how would i look if i jump. I don't even have any balls to jump. :(
Its been me and myslelf only. I brought nothing good to my family. Theres no one i can tell my feeling to except typing out to cyber mates.
I wana cry.
let me summarise ur post.
"i wan to do what i like, but the pay is shit and i know very well i cannot support my wife and my kid. i should be getting a job that pays better, but i simply did nothing despite naggings from my wife and her family. hell, why arent they supporting me? T.T
however i feel very sad that i cannot provide her with a better life."
u know what is shooting yourself in the foot?
on one hand u refuse to go out and get a proper paying job, on the other hand u are sad that u "could not give her the best of life", "felt so useless". wtf is this?
and where is the responsibility?
how the hell are u going to support her and the kid when u have no money?
it is ok to do what u want IF u have no responsibility.
two words for u: 妈的.
Sigh!
What are u going to do to sort it out? Perhaps after going thru this you will be wise in your planning. unless yours is an interest that allows u to earn lots of $ otherwise you are in for worry, concern.
Nothing wrong with pursuing interest.
But at the same time you mustn't forget the responsibilities you have on hand.
Otherwise you'll just turn out to be selfish.
Jumping down the ledge and handing over your problems, as well as creating even more problems for your family? That's even worse than being selfish, frankly speaking.
You cannot expect your family to support you in your interest, when you can't even support them in the first place.
Rather than complaining down here about how your life sucks, why not do something more practical, such as looking for a more stable job?
HPP,
You must be one hell of a hunk to even have a GF.
No money.. no future.. lame shit attitude.. what the heck she sees in you.. i really cannot understand.
Since you know jolly well.. you are not the kind of man to support a family.. why the fark you don't use a blardy CONDOM ?
No body gonna stop you from pursuing your "interests". But why even start a family when you are not ready to support one ?
Wake up your idea, okay?
Want to heck care everything and chase after your passion, then don't marry and wait till your parents die. Now got responsibilities, still do till like this?
You lost everything, our fault? You're the most jialek in the world? You tio Aids the moment you were born like the african children? You made your own choice, can't face the consequences then come whine.
è‡ªä½œå½ okay?
TS, since now you know your problem, go do something to solve it. if not the new born baby will suffer.
Originally posted by Fantagf:TS, since now you know your problem, go do something to solve it. if not the new born baby will suffer.
With his kind of attitude.. he'll probably insist the baby is not his.. so he don't need to step up and be a father.
I would suggest that u pursue what works for u - money is always relative, how much is good enough - also relative, as long as you are able to fulfil the basics - i feel that is alrite, as for your parents n .... they are asking you to conform and submit to what they think - which is their projection - of what is a family or good 'husband' or ... utter crap!
However, the question that only u know n mite need to answer - are u are selfish - i mean selfishness in the sense of being a burden on people around you. Burden - not only in the monetary sense but in other ways ( emotional) and what-not
My gut feeling is that you are unconsciously apportioning blame on others when ultmately its lack of responsibility on your part that has led u to this quagmire of a predicament - i m talking about being responsible for yourself first, as to what others feel is irrelvant, cos its a projection of their 'reality' n 'ideas of ... - as for work, interests, there is no such thing as a stable job, if u are secure within, stable within - all is grist to the mill!
If you cannot cope being a 'husband' or whatever you feel committed to - be honest, and face up to it. To rationalize, to justify, is merely delusion.
Originally posted by jojobeach:With his kind of attitude.. he'll probably insist the baby is not his.. so he don't need to step up and be a father.
oh mine, this reminds me of the taiwanese soap opera on weekend.
Frankly if your interest cannot feed the family - then you can only do it as a hobby.
Who in the world does not want to do things they like, but few can do that unless you have the resources ......!!!
Frankly you have a good job before ... lost my regular status in the army and had to pay liquidation damages close to 60K - damn if cannot afford then why do it in the first place !!!
Don't blame family for not being rich. You could have the money to feed your family, pay the bills and yet still left over to take regular diving trips around asia ...!!! yet for your own selfishless interest, you give it up.
What to do ? You already giving your interest a go.... and it did not work. Now is time to face the real world - get a job that pay the bills !!!
Originally posted by Fantagf:
oh mine, this reminds me of the taiwanese soap opera on weekend.
Vasectomy. Is the solution to all his future problems.
No babies.. no problem.. got babies.. big problem.
I think it's time for you to find a real job. You are married now and you will be a father soon. Be responsible. Do something for yourself and for the sake of your family.
If you realized that your current job is not making money then why you still continue doing the same thing? Well hobby is only a hobby. You can always do your hobby during your free time.
Hope things are gonna be fine. Cia you!
u are behaving like a kid....
and a poor spoilt brat...
grow up
Originally posted by jojobeach:Vasectomy. Is the solution to all his future problems.
No babies.. no problem.. got babies.. big problem.
too bad that won't solve his current problems. :P
ts, forget about the diving and concentrate on getting a fulltime job. you might not enjoy it but you are a husband and soon to be a father. for the second time somemore. you have responsibilities. for the sake of your family, please don't screw up. when things are stable, maybe you can dive once every couple of months or so, as a hobby.
You should pursue another career that can satisfy your current material needs which are more urgent now.
After you have improved your financial position, you can think about your diving pursuits.
Lose men to take land, land and men both lost; lose land and keep men, land can be retaken. - Mao Zedong
DUDE! you need RESPONSIBILITY~ do not know if i spelt it right but you understand yea.
Its nice to pursue what you like but everything goes for a price and the price your paying to not give up outweighs what your giving in. Your lucky your gf is still by you right now but she won't if you continue this way much longer. Sometimes you just have to grind your teeth bite your tongue and move on. You have a child in her right now. You lost your first wife then cherish this second! make it up to yourself! BE A REAL MAN! Take Responsibility. Without it, you will be alone and no one can help you not even the big guy up there who reads his daily news of the world he create cause your not sincere and worth his time. Wake up. You should be old enough to be a man!
responsibility pulls dreams away from u
so u know why so little people get married liao
get a full-time job now. which is more important now your wife and children or your own interest? of course you have to change your attitude too.. make so much mistakes already its time to buck up. and DONT EVER COMMIT SUICIDE hor! thats very irresponsible
Good to pursue your interests, but if your interests can feed you (and your family), it should just be an interest.
So for you...
1. Get a job... a steady, regular job... get an income.
2. Look into your expense. Your expenses must be less than your income. So that you can start saving.
3. Don't borrow money, unless for your house. No personal loan, no loansharks.
4. Do the above for at least the next 5 years, hopefully things will be ok for you.
Good luck.
want to do what u like but cannot sarport a family, rubber works. if not, the left hand never get pregnant.
You really put we the guys to shame.
Why dont you just jump down from the tallest building in Singapore.
Originally posted by Heartpainpain:Hi guys n girls,
Hai, feeling damn confused and sad. Recently, things had not been right for me these days.
My wife is pregnant at the wrong time. You see, i had not had a full time job for a while, i am a freelance diver and at the same time, i do some freelance consultancy works too. The money is not that great but i love what i am doing. On the other hand, my wife and my parents kept saying what i am doing is worng and i had no money to support the family. I refuse to give in and continue to do what i love to do. No CPF, no medical benefits and inability to buy a flat is all they can say.
Sometimes, i feel shitty and sad. I do not realised, the reason why i gave up my full time job is to pursue my interest, which is diving works. I gave a lot to it and had been committed to my interest. So lucky to those whom have parents and spouse to support those doing their interest for a living though it pays shit.
Everyday, everyday they have been telling me the same things over and over again. It makes me very frustrated but i kept my cool. I do not argue or fight back, i just stare at them blankly. But deep down in my heart, i feel so useless as i dare not to give up my interests.
These few years have been shit for me. I lost my first wife and my beautiful daughter due to my mistakes and bo chap attitude, i lost my driving liscense class 3 to class 5. I lost my favourite pet turtles. I lost my regular status in the army and had to pay liquidation damages close to 60K. I had nothing now. No savings and practically useless in all aspects of life. My freelance works get lesser and lesser.
As stated earlier on, my girlfriend is pregnant, we got married. I felt that i could not give her the best of life. I felt so useless. Nobody support whatever i am doing. I try to jump but i just sat on the ledge thinking how would i look if i jump. I don't even have any balls to jump. :(
Its been me and myslelf only. I brought nothing good to my family. Theres no one i can tell my feeling to except typing out to cyber mates.
I wana cry.
RESPONSIBILITY RESPONSIBILITY RESPONSIBILITY....and discipline discipline discipline...you need lots of it
Seek a family counsellor near you place and I'm sure they can offer you some help one way or another.
Don't come here...you will hardly get much help base on the replies here but it's a start.
Hi guys n girls,
Hi bros,
Hai, feeling damn confused and sad. Recently, things had not been right for me these days.
Ans: Life are confusing at times, if things are not right for u, then take some time to rearrange them into the correct order.
My wife is pregnant at the wrong time. You see, i had not had a full time job for a while, i am a freelance diver and at the same time, i do some freelance consultancy works too. The money is not that great but i love what i am doing. On the other hand, my wife and my parents kept saying what i am doing is wrong and i had no money to support the family. I refuse to give in and continue to do what i love to do. No CPF, no medical benefits and inability to buy a flat is all they can say.
Ans: I think what they said is correct and u really have to go look for a full time job.
Sometimes, i feel shitty and sad. I do not realised, the reason why i gave up my full time job is to pursue my interest, which is diving works. I gave a lot to it and had been committed to my interest. So lucky to those whom have parents and spouse to support those doing their interest for a living though it pays shit.
Ans: Well, if your interests that u are having is not bringing in enough income to support u and your family then maybe u wanna make it as your hobby and not main your job?
Everyday, everyday they have been telling me the same things over and over again. It makes me very frustrated but i kept my cool. I do not argue or fight back, i just stare at them blankly. But deep down in my heart, i feel so useless as i dare not to give up my interests.
Ans: U don’t have to give up your interests just make it your secondary income or your hobby that all.
These few years have been shit for me. I lost my first wife and my beautiful daughter due to my mistakes and bo chap attitude, i lost my driving liscense class 3 to class 5. I lost my favourite pet turtles. I lost my regular status in the army and had to pay liquidation damages close to 60K. I had nothing now. No savings and practically useless in all aspects of life. My freelance works get lesser and lesser.
Ans: Forget about the milk that has already spill off from the class because there are all gone. Why not focus on what u want to do now and plan for your future?
As stated earlier on, my girlfriend is pregnant, we got married. I felt that i could not give her the best of life. I felt so useless. Nobody support whatever i am doing. I try to jump but i just sat on the ledge thinking how would i look if i jump. I don't even have any balls to jump. :(
Ans: Then take some action and do sometime about it, u can work 2 jobs or 3 jobs and just put your interests aside at the time being. I believe your wife would also want to share your burdens and maybe she can also work and bring in some income too.
Its been me and myslelf only. I brought nothing good to my family. Theres no one i can tell my feeling to except typing out to cyber mates.
I wana cry.
Ans: So what u don’t wanna do something about it? Just cry?
Try go (http://www.e2i.com.sg/services/individuals/find_a_job_n_upgrade_your_skills/) and get help. Choose the trade that u like and they will train u for free. they will also pay u some daily allowance while taking the course.
Originally posted by BotaHead:Hi guys n girls,
Hi bros,
Hai, feeling damn confused and sad. Recently, things had not been right for me these days.
Ans: Life are confusing at times, if things are not right for u, then take some time to rearrange them into the correct order.
My wife is pregnant at the wrong time. You see, i had not had a full time job for a while, i am a freelance diver and at the same time, i do some freelance consultancy works too. The money is not that great but i love what i am doing. On the other hand, my wife and my parents kept saying what i am doing is wrong and i had no money to support the family. I refuse to give in and continue to do what i love to do. No CPF, no medical benefits and inability to buy a flat is all they can say.
Ans: I think what they said is correct and u really have to go look for a full time job.
Sometimes, i feel shitty and sad. I do not realised, the reason why i gave up my full time job is to pursue my interest, which is diving works. I gave a lot to it and had been committed to my interest. So lucky to those whom have parents and spouse to support those doing their interest for a living though it pays shit.
Ans: Well, if your interests that u are having is not bringing in enough income to support u and your family then maybe u wanna make it as your hobby and not main your job?
Everyday, everyday they have been telling me the same things over and over again. It makes me very frustrated but i kept my cool. I do not argue or fight back, i just stare at them blankly. But deep down in my heart, i feel so useless as i dare not to give up my interests.
Ans: U don’t have to give up your interests just make it your secondary income or your hobby that all.
These few years have been shit for me. I lost my first wife and my beautiful daughter due to my mistakes and bo chap attitude, i lost my driving liscense class 3 to class 5. I lost my favourite pet turtles. I lost my regular status in the army and had to pay liquidation damages close to 60K. I had nothing now. No savings and practically useless in all aspects of life. My freelance works get lesser and lesser.
Ans: Forget about the milk that has already spill off from the class because there are all gone. Why not focus on what u want to do now and plan for your future?
As stated earlier on, my girlfriend is pregnant, we got married. I felt that i could not give her the best of life. I felt so useless. Nobody support whatever i am doing. I try to jump but i just sat on the ledge thinking how would i look if i jump. I don't even have any balls to jump. :(
Ans: Then take some action and do sometime about it, u can work 2 jobs or 3 jobs and just put your interests aside at the time being. I believe your wife would also want to share your burdens and maybe she can also work and bring in some income too.
Its been me and myslelf only. I brought nothing good to my family. Theres no one i can tell my feeling to except typing out to cyber mates.
I wana cry.
Ans: So what u don’t wanna do something about it? Just cry?
Try go (http://www.e2i.com.sg/services/individuals/find_a_job_n_upgrade_your_skills/) and get help. Choose the trade that u like and they will train u for free. they will also pay u some daily allowance while taking the course.
Botahead gave you a good link to find a job. Try it to find a job as stated - ANY JOB to start getting an income. Seek a family counsellor help next to settle down your family issues so that you can concentrate on your job. And remember your RESPONSIBILITY.