I realised that as we mature, things get increasingly complicated. I'm very close to this female friend of mine, so close that many of our friends often ask why aren't we dating each other, thing is all along for close to 10years, we've always seen each other as siblings.She sees me as an elder brother, while I see her as a younger sister as our birthdays are 8 days apart.
However since the beginning of this year,after my breakup and hers...we've been hanging out rather often.Like once a week or so as compared to previously where it would probably be like once in a mth or so.She did tell me that one of our close friends frm sec.school did ask her recently, why doesn't she want to get together with me as we're already so close, her reply was that I'm not her type.Sighz...on my part I think I've dev. a liking for her tt's more den friendship and more den bro and sis..its like I've fallen for her.
I'm on the verge of telling her my feeling and the words are at the tip of my tongue...but I dare not say them out as I fear that I'll lose a really good friend if things doesn't work out.But on the other hand,we really understand each other really well and is there for each other whenever there's any issues.Also I really fear that if I revealed my feelings, and she rejects me...things would never be the same again.
This really sucks...if only things were simpler.
That's the trouble with opposite sex hanging out too much. Often times, they start off as innocent "brother-sister" relationship, or buddy-buddy relationship... then as time goes by, one side think he/she likes the other party, then tell the other party, then the whole relationship crumbles and can't even be friends becuz it feels awkward. But then again, there are others which develop well.
At the end of the day, if you think you really like her, not becuz of your own boredom or whatever, you take the chance. But also that the risk that you can be friends no more.
Those who think that can "still be friends" are in denial, cuz its not the same anymore.
IMHO i think she has always treated you as a friend.
Its truly platonic to her. Some people draw lines clearly, and that is why you have always been close to her.
If she even had a slight hint of liking you, she wouldnt hang around for these 10 years waiting for you.
Even if she does have a liking for you, its just second to all the others she had have a relationship with before.
In other words, it can work if you both agree to be together, but what is the point playing second fiddle to each other.
So think, its much better to maintain this friendship. Dont give it up.
dude since she already said you're not her type (very powerful phrase), then give up ba. she already rejected you. plenty of fish in the sea, plenty of trees in the forest.
just treasure the friendship.
When we both are in our respective r-ships...our partners do get jealous or feel insecure when we hang out. When we were out sometime earlier in the month when I brought her to Marina Barrage to be my model for a test shoot,after the shoot we went for dessert and she mentioned to me that as I broke up first, her ex suggested that she hook me up with one of the other single girls in our gang.Cuz he doesn't like the idea of us <my best bud and I> hanging out too often etc.same for his previous ex.
To come down this path, I seriously thought loooong and hard.I'm not somebody that expresses this type of feeling impulsively and am dead sure before even mentioning it.
i think girls handle these kinda relationships better. it's always the guys who always fall in love in the end?
for the gd part of past 10yrs..its always the same.i'm v.distinct bout it.crystal clear...bout the rship.but nw...sighz.
have u ever demonstrated to her your values?
i think the reason why people may be stucked in the friends stage is due to the fact they failed to demonstrate their true values which may help inch them closer.
Since she has already stated that you are not her type, she has more or less issued you her ultimatum. The best solution is to continue as best friends & move on. Unless you want to risk your friendship & try to jio her. Who knows? There might be a very small chance that she will reciprocate???
hey TS just tell her how you feel man. i was in shit feeling like you. but once i got it off my chest, felt lighter man. but dun expect her to come running to you immediately lah hahas. it takes time.
Well dont listen to her friends . What if she was telling her friends that just to make you chase her ? Ask her directly .
Tell her how you feel and ask her if she has even a little bit of the same feeling . If she says no then move on . Since you guys has been best friends for so long it`s better to get things clear and move on .
At least you tried when you asked right ? If u never asked then there`ll be a lot of wat if`s and that`s bad.
The easy part is saying that ask her/tell her directly..but thing is how do you face the other party upon rejection?Sighz...meeting her for dinner tml.So lookin forward to meeting her tomorrow.
Man, u fear rejection , u want to love and want to be loved - and u fear rejection - in other words, i can only assume its lack of self-love.
Originally posted by SpecOps87:The easy part is saying that ask her/tell her directly..but thing is how do you face the other party upon rejection?Sighz...meeting her for dinner tml.So lookin forward to meeting her tomorrow.
You look forward to dinner with her, but are you going to tell her the truth or not?
Or are you going to come back here and post, I wanted to tell her I like her, but I still think it is better for me not to do so.