how to gain my ex boyfriend's trust?
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
You got a point there. Her ex-bf seems to act too implusively.
Even so, the problem now is with her. She has broken up with her ex-ex, and yet she contacted him and meet him. Now she broken up with her ex, she is still talking to him. This feels like an endless thing.
She still loves him.
Sigh! Don't know what is between them, only they know.
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Originally posted by Pure03white:
To Ah Chye ---- Yah he just ask how r u, that's all. He asked this question twice in MSN and SMS. I was pissed that he just ask that and nothing else at all! and dont even reply when i replied him 'yes im fine.' So in SMS, he ask the same thing, i wont reply again. Cos that time is his birthday! I was not ready to reply him coz i still sooo angry and hate him for dumping me like that! At school, He ignore me everytime he saw me. Then why should he bother to sms me??
Just now i return back the loan to him but only transfer by bank transfering. He really don't want to meet me to pass the money to him. -___- i mean we are in the same school and he rather ask me to transfer money to him. I myself don't really like to owe ppl money so even we had broke up, i return it back.
T o Fantagf - i guess i don't want to think endlessly and hopelessly for him. I hope i can control myself and move on without him. I had told myself a couple couple times! it didnt help me much. But i'm gonna learn how. I remember someone post here saying about guilty. Yes, i felt guilty of what i had done. He's really good and caring to me.. Sigh.. It's pity to lose him actually. We had alot of good memories than bad. So it's hard for me to move on.
And btw, im telling the truth and nothing but the truth. I don't lie in my desperate words. I was so desperate how can i lie in my problems for wat??
- How to work doubly hard to earn that back when u said not asked and given.???
- he doesnt wan to see me at all,how can i show him????
Yunhaier ---- Thank you for ur good advise.
and the rest too. Even the nonsense and crap things abt sex, it made me laughed.
Okay, im dumb by contacting my ex ex. Untill now, i didnt contact him anymore cos i realised what's the use to contact him and he talking all craps. Sigh, so even i stop contacting my ex ex.. it won't make this problem solve.
If u still have so much feelings for him, can give it a try again.
If nothing works out or he not wanting to return, then move on.
I know, gals are rather ci qing. I am guilty about it too.
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hmmm tok things out and let him clam down
and if he still have feels for uu and he nt attach just patch wit him dont waste any more tym
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My advice to you is that you shouldnt worry too much about your break-up.
In my opinion, his breaking up with you due to a superficial reason (not happy with you contacting your ex) is a proof that you and him are not suitable as long term couples and frankly he is little bit childish.
In your age now you should be thinking how to get serious and mature guys, not immature guys.
So you should be happy that you didnt waste more time and get older. You should be happy that you discover that he is not suitable for you, earlier.
Now my second advice to you is.....remember that a boyfriend is not everything. Please take a better control of your emotions and thoughts. Breaking up with a boyfriend, even one who you love so much, is not the end of the world. You have to be stronger, please.
Can you also take a better internal self-control and get a bit more mature. Dont depend your life on your boyfriend and when you break up you feel like your life is ended. Remember your future is still very long, lots of other guys are waiting, you know there is a saying "the forest has many trees" or something like that. If you break up with him it means you open the door to meet other guys who can potentially even better than him and someone you will love even more, have you ever thought about this?
Most important is to get internal strength and dont be too weak and succumb to sadness.
Now dont contact anymore this guy, or other exes, it has no point seriously, it's better that you dont make any contacts with them, at all. Your life and their life need to progress and enter another phase. It is better not to contact them. Some things are better to be done in certain way.
Take this advice from me.
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well.. ok.. i don't want to think too much what will happen in the future when i go to bed or even wake up in the morning.. It's tiring for me..
Thank you.. i guess i have to move on and do things i needa do..
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My ex sms me happy birthday leh...
he sms just as friend????? Help this stupid girl...
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hey dont think too much into this. just treat him as a normal friend who send his friend sms to wish her happy birthday. u are just hurting yourself more. since u already said he is your ex, just let go. clinging on to it doesnt help. it is time for u to move on.
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have u ever communicate what you feel to him?
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got. but he don't seem to be moved by my words of sincerity and tell me not to put too much hope on him....
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if he tells u that, that means he has already given up. a word of advice for u, is not to take things too hard. if not, the one getting hurt more will be u.
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Originally posted by Pure03white:
got. but he don't seem to be moved by my words of sincerity and tell me not to put too much hope on him....
then it seems to me, theres hardly any feelings for you left in him..
move on my friend.. its difficult but its inevitable.. be around in the company of friends to help you tide this over.. might help a bit.. =)
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Originally posted by Pure03white:
got. but he don't seem to be moved by my words of sincerity and tell me not to put too much hope on him....
it's time to let go. -
Originally posted by Pure03white:
My ex sms me happy birthday leh...
he sms just as friend????? Help this stupid girl...
How he sms u happy birthday?? Exactly at midnight??
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Originally posted by Pure03white:
got. but he don't seem to be moved by my words of sincerity and tell me not to put too much hope on him....
If he already put it this way, then it is really time for you to move on.
Words are not everything, you must know that. As the saying goes, "Action speaks louder than words". Your action has already upset him so badly that he seems to be unwilling to give you another chance.
Indeed he is hot-headed, but from what you say, I believe that he is more of trying to keep to his decision than regretting his actions. Originally, I thought he might regret his actions and is waiting for you to patch up, but in this case, I see that his pride has blinded him to the point that he will not reverse his decision.
What is important now is not on his part, but on your part. Instead of pleading with him and hoping for things to somehow change for the better, you should just move on with your life and forget about him. If you are going to keep contacting him, you will only keep getting yourself hurt.
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Self-fulfil love and freedom - U are an empress!
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During the past few days or week after ur break-up, did u like ignore him when he talk to u or even get a new bf?? It cant possibly end unless he heard some things and he began clear that he is going to break with u.. If not, something is wrong with him...
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come and date me lah.... then problem ish solved
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I think to build GENINUE trust require a lot of patience. They can be lost in a day but it could take a year to build it
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Originally posted by Pure03white:
got. but he don't seem to be moved by my words of sincerity and tell me not to put too much hope on him....
u cant get a bigger hint then that....
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just another 2 cents from me....
it take alot for anyone to allow their partner to meet up with their ex like normal frens. Coz the truth is, they had a past and hence r/s not normal anymore.
If u happen to be one of those few ones that ur partner dun get jealous or go mental each time u meet up with ur ex or watever... then u are one lucky person....
else, itis simple, itis either ur ex (whom u take it as a norm fren) or ur current partner. No point forcing your partner to change or forcfully accept it. Most prob the r/s will screw up over time.
or u can be smart abt it and not tell ur partner that they are ur ex/fling/etc in the 1st place.... like just intro them as ur frens..... just pray that ur partner never find out the truth....
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
just another 2 cents from me....
it take alot for anyone to allow their partner to meet up with their ex like normal frens. Coz the truth is, they had a past and hence r/s not normal anymore.
If u happen to be one of those few ones that ur partner dun get jealous or go mental each time u meet up with ur ex or watever... then u are one lucky person....
else, itis simple, itis either ur ex (whom u take it as a norm fren) or ur current partner. No point forcing your partner to change or forcfully accept it. Most prob the r/s will screw up over time.
or u can be smart abt it and not tell ur partner that they are ur ex/fling/etc in the 1st place.... like just intro them as ur frens..... just pray that ur partner never find out the truth....
Ya i agree with wat earlneo said. Its very hard to accept that u are going out with ur ex and u are saying that to his face and not asking for permission. If u are going out, u shdn't have even told that to ur bf as he will think alot of it. Being too open too much will bring adverse effect on relationship.
Such example is like being with a guy on a same photo with u and not just once and adding it, its the same guy.
For u, u will think that its just a fren. But as for him, he will suspect that u having an affair with that guy. Its just basic instinct.
Humans are not perfect we all has flaws, so maybe next time when u have another relationship, u might be aware of this and so hopefully not to make this kind of mistake again.
Anyway, just move on with ur life now..... -
i think u should just forget him.
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Dying (forgetting) the of role(s) daugher, student, employee .... add on - u remain free of psychological baggage n always remain 'new, for what IS -
Its risky, uncertain - but never a drag n always a mystery
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know what is the best thing about being human?
that is they can forget the hurt done to them or thrust on them. Like a kid after falling down all u need to do is pick urself up and carryon playing....
mourn over your pain/lose, get over it and start thing a fresh.
I am sure the temporary set back will only make u learn and improve your chance of holding on to real happiness when it arrive again.
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Originally posted by Meat Pao:
My advice to you is that you shouldnt worry too much about your break-up.
In my opinion, his breaking up with you due to a superficial reason (not happy with you contacting your ex) is a proof that you and him are not suitable as long term couples and frankly he is little bit childish.
In your age now you should be thinking how to get serious and mature guys, not immature guys.
So you should be happy that you didnt waste more time and get older. You should be happy that you discover that he is not suitable for you, earlier.
Now my second advice to you is.....remember that a boyfriend is not everything. Please take a better control of your emotions and thoughts. Breaking up with a boyfriend, even one who you love so much, is not the end of the world. You have to be stronger, please.
Can you also take a better internal self-control and get a bit more mature. Dont depend your life on your boyfriend and when you break up you feel like your life is ended. Remember your future is still very long, lots of other guys are waiting, you know there is a saying "the forest has many trees" or something like that. If you break up with him it means you open the door to meet other guys who can potentially even better than him and someone you will love even more, have you ever thought about this?
Most important is to get internal strength and dont be too weak and succumb to sadness.
Now dont contact anymore this guy, or other exes, it has no point seriously, it's better that you dont make any contacts with them, at all. Your life and their life need to progress and enter another phase. It is better not to contact them. Some things are better to be done in certain way.
Take this advice from me.
hmm. nobody will like it if their gf keeps contacting their ex bf la.
the same thing as no girl will like it if their bf keeps contacting their ex gfs.
it's not simply about maturity level. maturity level won't sustain a relationship, but trust, respect, communication and love will.
contacting an ex frequently is bound to hurt the trust level.
with the betrayal of trust, it's going to take alot more effort to earn back the trust.
the rules i think is really simple
guys need respect
girls need love.
if a guy keeps contacting their ex gf, the gf will feel unloved because she will be wondering what the bf can tell to the ex that he cannot tell her, also, if he isn't treating her nicely, but treat the ex nice, she is bound to feel even worse.
if a girl keeps contacting their ex bf, the bf will feel disrespected.
like i said, this has nothing to do with maturity level, but about love and respect.
maybe maturity level affects the relationship where one is mature enough to realise that some quarrels aren't worth it, or maybe one is mature enough to give in or agree to disagree about some issues, or maybe one is mature enough to be decisive about the relationship, or to be faithful to their partner.
but that's about it for maturity.
so yeah, i kinda disagree with your point about maturity.
