cheating bf???
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my bf went overseas about one year ago. when he was over there, he swore that he was always out with the guys, or chilling by himself. and now, someone's just told me that he'd been going out with alot of girls, and that he had many gfs there. i really don't know what to do. should i continue trusting him? i can't even take his word about anything now. he's 'on a business trip' now, or so he says. i can't even verify whether this is true or not. what should i do? i really feel like crap
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Seriously speaking, if your gf wants to cheat you - whether he swore or whatever, it doesn't really matter if his heart is bend towards it.Originally posted by snowchild:my bf went overseas about one year ago. when he was over there, he swore that he was always out with the guys, or chilling by himself. and now, someone's just told me that he'd been going out with alot of girls, and that he had many gfs there. i really don't know what to do. should i continue trusting him? i can't even take his word about anything now. he's 'on a business trip' now, or so he says. i can't even verify whether this is true or not. what should i do? i really feel like crap
I am sure he will come back to Singapore soon - take this opportunity to bombard him with questions, firm yet rational. Don't sink into emotional mode that will only make things worst. You have know the situations from his lips - not from someone else. Calm down and perhaps you can write down all the question you would like to ask him.
Many a times when relationships turned soured, we often failed to see the hidden lesson behind. Seriously speaking - if this bf of yours is born out of lies and deceits; do you think he makes a decent bf anyway? It is not even a question of his character - it is a question on where does this relationship belong in his heart. That low?
Communication is very important - you have to talk to him as soon as possible and remember its *MUST* be face to face and not SMS/Phone/Emails/etc.
Cheers -
yeah i know, but we've kidna talked about this before, and he just said that i was silly and that i have nothing to worry about. yet he always seems to be very busy, and i don't know what he's doing. he hardly ever answers my smses about where he is... if i confront him directly, he'll just get mad, and scold me. *sigh* i love hime very much, but i don't know whether i can continue like this.
the person who told me about it has no reason to lie to me. sometimes i wonder whether i'm still with him because i don't know who to leave him, and also because i'm so usedto havaing him around -
Demand a face - face communication if he value this relation a single bit. This communication has to come - if not, you will never move from where you are standing.Originally posted by snowchild:yeah i know, but we've kidna talked about this before, and he just said that i was silly and that i have nothing to worry about. yet he always seems to be very busy, and i don't know what he's doing. he hardly ever answers my smses about where he is... if i confront him directly, he'll just get mad, and scold me. *sigh* i love hime very much, but i don't know whether i can continue like this.
the person who told me about it has no reason to lie to me. sometimes i wonder whether i'm still with him because i don't know who to leave him, and also because i'm so usedto havaing him around -
[q]Communication is very important - you have to talk to him as soon as possible and remember its *MUST* be face to face and not SMS/Phone/Emails/etc. [/q]
yea this is important! -
Isn't it from me?Originally posted by |-|05|:[q]Communication is very important - you have to talk to him as soon as possible and remember its *MUST* be face to face and not SMS/Phone/Emails/etc. [/q]
yea this is important!
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just share a story with you....
someone I knew, had often been assigned oversea, and I was told that he often flirt and find pros during his assignment. Some time, he called it entertainment, leaving his g/f behind in SG, poor, pretty but very innocent and trusting g/f of his... never believe anything and still trust him the way she used to be.... this thing had gone for long time.
Even before he started to work while studying in Australia, he was like that too, but not as bad... then he was with another g/f who found out from her friends in Australia... broke up with him.
despite all this happening, this friend of mine is now happily married with kid. However, no one had ever told his wife what he did? I am not drawing any parallel from this scenerio, but its really you and him to trash out the difference, if you trust him the way his wife did w/o knowing any of his doing? if you ask me, I think the wife is dead dead dumb, but there again, who are we to say, as he had changed overtime and is more hard working earn $$ for the family... only U.. can...for your own -
i was thinking the same as well, actually. if i didn't know that he was doing such things when he was overseas, i still would have trusted him even though i'm not totally happy with the way things are. like, other than one time, he has managed to spoil all the happy occasions there are: xmas, my birthday, vday...and this has gone on for about two years now. somehow, he always ends up making me cry on those days instead of enjoying myself. that i guess is one of the reasons why i'm asking you guys for help...
tell me something: if u really love a girl, and u go away for 6 days on a 'business trip', wouldn't you try to call her every opportunity you get? unless of course, you're with someone else. and before you leave for this trip or other trips, wouldn't you try to spend every last second you have with her?
maybe i'm being naive, but that's the way i feel... -
Agree with what you said, if that's me, but again, not every one is like that, my bro-in-law is one dumb guy who does not believe so even though he does not flirt. so U see, to dif ppl, dif thing. But I also know some of my friend are out for real fun only since its opportunity... No comments... Its their choice. I experienced that too but fall short of doing anything as my moral and principal kept hunting me down making me feel very.. very... very .. guilty if I do so... I just can't have the courage to do so... but to some, its so easy, just like putting on another set of clothes......
Think it out carefully, its not easy even though should you decide to forgive him, and even end up just like my friend who is happily married now, the torns in your memory, are you really willing to let go and move on with live? will you at the slightly moment, jump on your nerves if you find something fishy, regardless whether the problem is with him or yourself.... think carefully about. there again, you might have forgotten say 10 yrs down the road... just like my wife.... She used to be so jealous of the attention I got during our early days of courtship, phoine calls, outing, sharing session, helping girl friends (casual and close friends) with their BGR problem... and had been fuming all along even until the those few years after marriage.... but now, she don't even bother and give a denm as she, I presume don't even have time to worry about girls around me. -
I don't really know if your bf's cheating on you... Nor how true the words of the 'someone' whom had tell you about your cheating bf are....Originally posted by snowchild:i was thinking the same as well, actually. if i didn't know that he was doing such things when he was overseas, i still would have trusted him even though i'm not totally happy with the way things are. like, other than one time, he has managed to spoil all the happy occasions there are: xmas, my birthday, vday...and this has gone on for about two years now. somehow, he always ends up making me cry on those days instead of enjoying myself. that i guess is one of the reasons why i'm asking you guys for help...
tell me something: if u really love a girl, and u go away for 6 days on a 'business trip', wouldn't you try to call her every opportunity you get? unless of course, you're with someone else. and before you leave for this trip or other trips, wouldn't you try to spend every last second you have with her?
maybe i'm being naive, but that's the way i feel...
But I guess I know one thing's probably for sure... You tends to THINK and WORRY too much... Overseas trips or not, this is not gonna be very healthy for your love relationship with him...
IF you really MUST KNOW what are the chances that your bf's CHEATING on you, I can do a ANALYTICAL PREDICTION (note, this is just a PREDICTION based on PROBABILITY... It in NO SENSE reflects the ACTUAL REALITY...) for you.... But your 'problem' you should still have to overcome... For your OWN GOOD.... -
cheating or not cheating
u have no eyes to see
unless u really see wif ur eyes....
in a r/s if the r/s is strong, the trust is there, and the discipline is there...
if it's weak.... either one, will succumb to temptations and flirt ard...
as what others before me has said.. confront, with logical thinking, and not with emotion....
if all else fails.... u have only one thing to do, protect urself...
that, is all i have to say....