Go or no-go?
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Name: just call me danny
Age: between 20 – 25
Problem: In love with a girl who lives in Asia but himself lives in Europe and the girl has already a bf for 6 years. And have only known each other for 4 days. (well, we have seen eachother before a couple of times but not this intensly)
deadline: one - two weeks because the tickets are expensive as hell!
Good day everyone at the agony forum, I have a little crisis going on here and I can’t concentrate at work/school unless I solve this problem. Hopefully you guys can give me some advice about this matter.
But first some background information:
I am an overseas Chinese living in the Europe, one day my dad said my niece is coming from Hong Kong to the Netherlands at our house to stay for 4 days. She has graduated and wanted to sort of go backpacking in Europe you know the “see-the-world” trip before she works full time.
My duty is to show her and her friends around and got a huge sum of money to cover their expenses. By the way, we are not blood related; she is my “god-niece” (is that how you call it?)
The moment we met at the airport we really hit off, she and her friends where surprised by the fact that I can speak pretty good Cantonese for someone who lives and go to school in a western country.
Everything is going as planned and of course I was very gallant to her. But then one night her friend is taking a shower and her male friend was hanging in front of the television we starting to wrestle a little. It was all very innocent, we started poking pushing each other and occasionally bumped some sensitive areas.
That night everyone is very tired and went to bed, I asked her if she wanted to go to my room and watch a movie (it was a genuine question, I had no evil plans) okay maybe a little fantasies but come on an hour ago I was grabbing her ass.
We were watching the movie peacefully on the couch in my room, since it was a small couch that only fitted me I suggested to lie in a position where her back is to my front (spoon if you will). As the movie got more exciting we were also getting more excited, we starting to kiss and caressing each other. At some point she stated she doesn’t want go all the way because she has a boyfriend so I stopped and we fell asleep holding each other.
As days passes by (okay it’s just two/three days) we grow quite fond of each other, every time her friends isn’t in the same room we started to fool around. But of course all good things ends quickly as day four has arrived and she has to go away. So I accompanied her and her friends to the airport and shopped/ate there. There was still a little time before she has to enter the gates so her two friends were chilling at a random store. That’s when we went to some quiet place, we were holding hands and gave a passionate goodbye kiss.
Okay that’s the bg information.
My question is should I or should I not go to Hk this summer and see if anything could happen between us? I was asking some of my close friends but in the end the conclusion was something like: “Nothing is going to happen she has a boyfriend” “you two live in two totally different worlds”
“nay she is just playing you dude!” “could you bring me a souvenir?”
I can’t interpreted her signals, I mean we kissed and stuff, we promised to keep in touch via fb or skype whatever and the day at the airport right after we kissed she asked me if I had something to ask/tell her. And she wanted me to come to HK to see her.
What do you guys think? Go or no-go?
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If u can share , give love , appreciate, without expectations - go - otherwise dont go. She is not obligated to reciprocate (assuming its love on your part) and if u can handle rejection go.
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definitely a crush from her.
from u, i dun noe..
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do you even know whether her qualities and values fit into your ideal gf frame?
it's only 4 days man, sometimes you may have to take months to be sure of yourself
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Originally posted by HaamSapTjai:
Name: just call me danny
Age: between 20 – 25
Problem: In love with a girl who lives in Asia but himself lives in Europe and the girl has already a bf for 6 years. And have only known each other for 4 days. (well, we have seen eachother before a couple of times but not this intensly)
deadline: one - two weeks because the tickets are expensive as hell!
Good day everyone at the agony forum, I have a little crisis going on here and I can’t concentrate at work/school unless I solve this problem. Hopefully you guys can give me some advice about this matter.
But first some background information:
I am an overseas Chinese living in the Europe, one day my dad said my niece is coming from Hong Kong to the Netherlands at our house to stay for 4 days. She has graduated and wanted to sort of go backpacking in Europe you know the “see-the-world” trip before she works full time.
My duty is to show her and her friends around and got a huge sum of money to cover their expenses. By the way, we are not blood related; she is my “god-niece” (is that how you call it?)
The moment we met at the airport we really hit off, she and her friends where surprised by the fact that I can speak pretty good Cantonese for someone who lives and go to school in a western country.
Everything is going as planned and of course I was very gallant to her. But then one night her friend is taking a shower and her male friend was hanging in front of the television we starting to wrestle a little. It was all very innocent, we started poking pushing each other and occasionally bumped some sensitive areas.
That night everyone is very tired and went to bed, I asked her if she wanted to go to my room and watch a movie (it was a genuine question, I had no evil plans) okay maybe a little fantasies but come on an hour ago I was grabbing her ass.
We were watching the movie peacefully on the couch in my room, since it was a small couch that only fitted me I suggested to lie in a position where her back is to my front (spoon if you will). As the movie got more exciting we were also getting more excited, we starting to kiss and caressing each other. At some point she stated she doesn’t want go all the way because she has a boyfriend so I stopped and we fell asleep holding each other.
As days passes by (okay it’s just two/three days) we grow quite fond of each other, every time her friends isn’t in the same room we started to fool around. But of course all good things ends quickly as day four has arrived and she has to go away. So I accompanied her and her friends to the airport and shopped/ate there. There was still a little time before she has to enter the gates so her two friends were chilling at a random store. That’s when we went to some quiet place, we were holding hands and gave a passionate goodbye kiss.
Okay that’s the bg information.
My question is should I or should I not go to Hk this summer and see if anything could happen between us? I was asking some of my close friends but in the end the conclusion was something like: “Nothing is going to happen she has a boyfriend” “you two live in two totally different worlds”
“nay she is just playing you dude!” “could you bring me a souvenir?”
I can’t interpreted her signals, I mean we kissed and stuff, we promised to keep in touch via fb or skype whatever and the day at the airport right after we kissed she asked me if I had something to ask/tell her. And she wanted me to come to HK to see her.
What do you guys think? Go or no-go?
Let me ask you a direct question. Will you want a girl who will do things such as kissing and hugging other guys behind her bf's back?
If she can do this to her current bf, she can do it to you too.
Putting that aside, you have been living in Europe for quite a while, and it can already by considered your comfort zone. If you were to move to Asia ( more specifically Hong Kong ) for the sake of chasing after her, will you be able to adapt quickly? Are you able to find a job to support yourself there?
There are a lot of questions which you must ask yourself before making any rash decisions. I don't want to sound mean, but perhaps she is the first teenage chinese girl whom you have seen in quite awhile who is very attractive, and that is why you got attracted to her. Ask yourself calmly, what do you truly like about her? If it is just another one of those "love at first sight", I can assure you once the 2 of you got together, the flames will die out pretty fast.
Of course I am not going to stop you from making your own decision, as it is your own choice, but I will ask that you do not make any foolish move which you will regret later.
Think about it thoroughly, what will you lose if you were to move over to see her? She didn't mention anything about breaking up with her current bf, so don't get your hopes up too high. Also, what will your family and her family think? This is especially 'the case' if both of your families are very close.
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Please do not go and look for her.
She can do this to her boyfriend behind his back.
Why can't she do it to you next time? -
A fling.
If you go to Hong Kong.. can you bear to see her in her bf's arms ?
Perhaps you are looking to rekindle the flame/fling like what you had in Europe, I assure you.. it will not be the same. For in HK, she is in her own element.. in the environment which she needs to bear responsibility, where her real life continues.
If her heart is in two places... yours and her bf's , can you tolerate it ?
If you go for the sake of visiting .. as a tourist ...I believe you will enjoy it better.. keep your options open.. for in that foreign land.. perhaps there might be a new adventure with another soul..another new beginning.... perhaps not.
But if you seek love from that girl you once held fleetingly in your arms....you must be prepared to be dissapointed.
If I am you... I'd wait.. till the day she is no longer taken... before I take the flight of faith.
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Wow, like watching a movie! ha ha ha ha h a!
Long distance relationship????? lt is pretty tough to keep long distance relationship.
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Originally posted by HaamSapTjai:
Name: just call me danny
Age: between 20 – 25
Problem: In love with a girl who lives in Asia but himself lives in Europe and the girl has already a bf for 6 years. And have only known each other for 4 days. (well, we have seen eachother before a couple of times but not this intensly)
deadline: one - two weeks because the tickets are expensive as hell!
Good day everyone at the agony forum, I have a little crisis going on here and I can’t concentrate at work/school unless I solve this problem. Hopefully you guys can give me some advice about this matter.
But first some background information:
I am an overseas Chinese living in the Europe, one day my dad said my niece is coming from Hong Kong to the Netherlands at our house to stay for 4 days. She has graduated and wanted to sort of go backpacking in Europe you know the “see-the-world” trip before she works full time.
My duty is to show her and her friends around and got a huge sum of money to cover their expenses. By the way, we are not blood related; she is my “god-niece” (is that how you call it?)
The moment we met at the airport we really hit off, she and her friends where surprised by the fact that I can speak pretty good Cantonese for someone who lives and go to school in a western country.
Everything is going as planned and of course I was very gallant to her. But then one night her friend is taking a shower and her male friend was hanging in front of the television we starting to wrestle a little. It was all very innocent, we started poking pushing each other and occasionally bumped some sensitive areas.
That night everyone is very tired and went to bed, I asked her if she wanted to go to my room and watch a movie (it was a genuine question, I had no evil plans) okay maybe a little fantasies but come on an hour ago I was grabbing her ass.
We were watching the movie peacefully on the couch in my room, since it was a small couch that only fitted me I suggested to lie in a position where her back is to my front (spoon if you will). As the movie got more exciting we were also getting more excited, we starting to kiss and caressing each other. At some point she stated she doesn’t want go all the way because she has a boyfriend so I stopped and we fell asleep holding each other.
As days passes by (okay it’s just two/three days) we grow quite fond of each other, every time her friends isn’t in the same room we started to fool around. But of course all good things ends quickly as day four has arrived and she has to go away. So I accompanied her and her friends to the airport and shopped/ate there. There was still a little time before she has to enter the gates so her two friends were chilling at a random store. That’s when we went to some quiet place, we were holding hands and gave a passionate goodbye kiss.
Okay that’s the bg information.
My question is should I or should I not go to Hk this summer and see if anything could happen between us? I was asking some of my close friends but in the end the conclusion was something like: “Nothing is going to happen she has a boyfriend” “you two live in two totally different worlds”
“nay she is just playing you dude!” “could you bring me a souvenir?”
I can’t interpreted her signals, I mean we kissed and stuff, we promised to keep in touch via fb or skype whatever and the day at the airport right after we kissed she asked me if I had something to ask/tell her. And she wanted me to come to HK to see her.
What do you guys think? Go or no-go?
Always select <GO> if you have the opportunity to do so.If not, you will NEVER know how your story is going to end.
Don't believe the ending that we are trying to convince you, cos we all love to see a story with bad ending with desperate depression/despondent, cruelty and violent ends.
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Too early to tell...
I mean, u kissed & stuff, but that doesn't mean much beyond the physical at the moment. & she sounds like a yooung girl who's looking for fun, fun, fun..
Tbee said, 'She can do this to her boyfriend behind his back.
Why can't she do it to you next time?' True, but we don't know how their relationship's like at the moment (which is something u have to find out)Y not u get to know her as a fren first? U could go to HK, ask her to bring u around, but with no expectations..
Talk to her lah..
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I highly recommend "no-go"
Sorry man.....but u need to understand, going on a tour is different with day-to-day living.
When she went on a tour, she was trying to have some fun....apparently that went a bit overboard.....but if you try to continue on that and move to HK, or ask her to move to you, that is a completely different situation and a different mood already.
Hope you understand what Im saying.
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What transpired bet the both of u is all gone - holding onto a cancelled cheque - is utterly dense - its real yes, only psychologically (one keeps playing it on the mind, dwelling on what could have been or ...), the reality is everthing is change - that is the only permanence of existence.
When one is a prisoner of the past, one treads oh so very carefully and the mystery of life and love is lost in roles n personalities cos one is identified (identifies) with the latter. One who is unwilling to die to the 'somebodiness' of his predicament - never arrives Home! The split within is the cause of the misery that befalls one - what one is does not cause it, What one thinks of himself is the anguish and the anxiety.
It makes no difference ( in this instance it is HK) - it could be in your neighbourhood , in class, at work - when one tries to objectify what is inherently a subjective expereince to partake of - one always comes up short. Love is such and the vocabulary of the mind adulterates 'all and sundry' and Being cognizant of the pitfalls/pratfalls goes a long way to freeing one and another.
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Lets say if you go,
You went to her flat and enter her house, you found her making love to her bf.
What will you do?