what if
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what if, one day, after six years of work that you gave in for a girl, you then found out she has been going out with another guy. and she tells you that she "totally wasnt paying attention to details". worse still, after 2 times of asking if she wanted to go to the movies, she replies that she has been wanting to ask why you wouldnt want to watch movie with other people.
but both of us were like, real good friends in the past. and shes like the only person who can even relate to me. and i really have no idea if she is lying about anything. her favourite moves are to feign ignorance and act dumb....2 years ago, i confessed to her to which she said she wouldnt like to start a r/s then, maybe in a few years time. and i guess i was dumb enough to take the gamble to wait another 2 years. when it was obviously a rejection. and after that, our friendship somehow started to break down, something which is obviously against my wishes. but being in different schools...and she sees the other guy everyday...i guess i put myself at my own disadvantage already since long ago.
today shes like indifferent towards me....i feel like a forgotten friend, one whose existence is of a triviality. there was an outing quite recently...and...i was the only "close friend" not invited by her. and when i jokingly asks why. she says "aiya. randomly invite 1 mah". to me, yeah, right. this kind of stuff isnt the first time it happened. sometimes i think there must be a reason why...but i dont know...
how it ended up like this. i have no idea why. but since yesterday night...after knowing that she went out with some other guy...i havent really slept. and even her tv seems more important than me....yesterday as we talked....towards the end when i really couldnt stand it anymore, i told her sth like "anyway since you're watching tv, dont need to bother about me..you can keep watching your tv", to which she replied, "i go watch tv le hor, good night!". so much so for at least being a good friend of mine.
i think im just mumbling rubbish to you all here, i apologize for that. i just need a platform for me to vent my frustration....there are really too many things that happened. im really confused and...dont know what to do. cry out loud? but im already numb to this feeling long ago....because i expected this day to come. but i didnt expect to simply break down just like that...
when you find somebody who really seems perfect for you but you just suddenly have to let go....as a guy i think really i suck and im a complete failure. zzz.
common tests, prelims and a lvls are coming soon. i tell myself i need to concentrate to study well. but what good is there to always do well in tests, lead a high flying life, only to void of a simple thing called companionship.
if only it was so easy to let go. this sucks.
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Feel free to vent your fustrations. I always tell ppl to share their problems and not bottle it up in their hearts.
Life does sucks at times but you have to move on. Its clear to you that she no longer cares about her so no point for you to dwell over it and let her rule your life.
Put her aside, prove to her you can live your life well without her. Do well for your A's, find a better girl and make her realise it was her loss not to choose you.
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go somewhere secluded or soundproof and shout at the top of your lungs...
i know how it feels...i was thinking the same too...about scoring As and lead a high flying life etc...
my mom gave me the choice of migrating...my life would prolly change for the better if i were to migrate and yet i chose to stay here coz i couldn't let go of the things here etc...
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Running away doesn't solve anything. Picking yourself up from problems makes a person stronger, running away just shows how weak you are.
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Let go of her. It will be the hardest thing you'll ever do
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Originally posted by absol:
what if, one day, after six years of work that you gave in for a girl, you then found out she has been going out with another guy. and she tells you that she "totally wasnt paying attention to details". worse still, after 2 times of asking if she wanted to go to the movies, she replies that she has been wanting to ask why you wouldnt want to watch movie with other people.
but both of us were like, real good friends in the past. and shes like the only person who can even relate to me. and i really have no idea if she is lying about anything. her favourite moves are to feign ignorance and act dumb....2 years ago, i confessed to her to which she said she wouldnt like to start a r/s then, maybe in a few years time. and i guess i was dumb enough to take the gamble to wait another 2 years. when it was obviously a rejection. and after that, our friendship somehow started to break down, something which is obviously against my wishes. but being in different schools...and she sees the other guy everyday...i guess i put myself at my own disadvantage already since long ago.
today shes like indifferent towards me....i feel like a forgotten friend, one whose existence is of a triviality. there was an outing quite recently...and...i was the only "close friend" not invited by her. and when i jokingly asks why. she says "aiya. randomly invite 1 mah". to me, yeah, right. this kind of stuff isnt the first time it happened. sometimes i think there must be a reason why...but i dont know...
how it ended up like this. i have no idea why. but since yesterday night...after knowing that she went out with some other guy...i havent really slept. and even her tv seems more important than me....yesterday as we talked....towards the end when i really couldnt stand it anymore, i told her sth like "anyway since you're watching tv, dont need to bother about me..you can keep watching your tv", to which she replied, "i go watch tv le hor, good night!". so much so for at least being a good friend of mine.
i think im just mumbling rubbish to you all here, i apologize for that. i just need a platform for me to vent my frustration....there are really too many things that happened. im really confused and...dont know what to do. cry out loud? but im already numb to this feeling long ago....because i expected this day to come. but i didnt expect to simply break down just like that...
when you find somebody who really seems perfect for you but you just suddenly have to let go....as a guy i think really i suck and im a complete failure. zzz.
common tests, prelims and a lvls are coming soon. i tell myself i need to concentrate to study well. but what good is there to always do well in tests, lead a high flying life, only to void of a simple thing called companionship.
if only it was so easy to let go. this sucks.
This is life, many things do not go the way you wanted them to.
From what you have said about her, I can safely assume that she is those who like to try to avoid/ignore things which she does not want to face or dislike. The reason why she is avoiding you now or pretending to forget to invite you is because she does not want to directly settle things with you face-to-face.
Back then, she does not like you, but also does not want to hurt you by directly rejecting you, hence she tell you "see first". She feels awkward talking to you now, hence she is trying to avoid you by often leaving you out of her social activites and even pretending that you are not there at times.
It is never easy to let go of someone whom you truly loves, but is time for you to move on, since she already got a bf. Instead of paying attention on her, you should focus on your "A"s, otherwise you might do badly for it.
Since she is already avoiding you, you should do the same too. You go on with your life and she goes on with hers. The moment you confessed to her, your friendship has already broken down. Do not attempt to directly talk things out with her, unless you want to make the situation even worse. It is better to be two strangers than to be two enemies.
It will not be possible to totally forget about her, so please do not try to get any girl as a gf just to make yourself forget about her. Do not let your mental health deteoriate too by closing yourself up to everyone or abusing your physical body. Recently there seems to be quite a number of forummers who keep telling us how they try to kill themselves, and I certainly hope you will not join their group.
If you feel like shouting it out, go ahead. Sometimes, we need a good shout to clear our clouded mind. But that is about as far as you should go, do not try to physically injure yourself, which was what quite a number of people whom I know did. You are free to spam your unhappiness here, and share your woes with us.
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Learn to let go bah.
Good luck for your 'A's. Jiayous!
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well, she's not your gf. even if she's your girl friend. it doesn't mean anything.
love is not a one sided thing. and after reading what you typed. i come out with a suggestion. to let go of her, since she doesn't even bother about you.
wake up and move on. your sincerity and devotion will win another better girl's heart.
for the one that u put 6 years of effort in, i can tell you, it's like using 6 seconds to fart. a long fart.
that's all. and you will forget about it soon.
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Originally posted by absol:
what if, one day, after six years of work that you gave in for a girl, you then found out she has been going out with another guy. and she tells you that she "totally wasnt paying attention to details". worse still, after 2 times of asking if she wanted to go to the movies, she replies that she has been wanting to ask why you wouldnt want to watch movie with other people.
but both of us were like, real good friends in the past. and shes like the only person who can even relate to me. and i really have no idea if she is lying about anything. her favourite moves are to feign ignorance and act dumb....2 years ago, i confessed to her to which she said she wouldnt like to start a r/s then, maybe in a few years time. and i guess i was dumb enough to take the gamble to wait another 2 years. when it was obviously a rejection. and after that, our friendship somehow started to break down, something which is obviously against my wishes. but being in different schools...and she sees the other guy everyday...i guess i put myself at my own disadvantage already since long ago.
today shes like indifferent towards me....i feel like a forgotten friend, one whose existence is of a triviality. there was an outing quite recently...and...i was the only "close friend" not invited by her. and when i jokingly asks why. she says "aiya. randomly invite 1 mah". to me, yeah, right. this kind of stuff isnt the first time it happened. sometimes i think there must be a reason why...but i dont know...
how it ended up like this. i have no idea why. but since yesterday night...after knowing that she went out with some other guy...i havent really slept. and even her tv seems more important than me....yesterday as we talked....towards the end when i really couldnt stand it anymore, i told her sth like "anyway since you're watching tv, dont need to bother about me..you can keep watching your tv", to which she replied, "i go watch tv le hor, good night!". so much so for at least being a good friend of mine.
i think im just mumbling rubbish to you all here, i apologize for that. i just need a platform for me to vent my frustration....there are really too many things that happened. im really confused and...dont know what to do. cry out loud? but im already numb to this feeling long ago....because i expected this day to come. but i didnt expect to simply break down just like that...
when you find somebody who really seems perfect for you but you just suddenly have to let go....as a guy i think really i suck and im a complete failure. zzz.
common tests, prelims and a lvls are coming soon. i tell myself i need to concentrate to study well. but what good is there to always do well in tests, lead a high flying life, only to void of a simple thing called companionship.
if only it was so easy to let go. this sucks.
To add on to what i said just now, do not blame the girl for not reciprocating our feelings okays?
Some of guys here mention about finding a better girl or somewhere along the same lines. It makes it feel as if the girl is at fault from my point of view. It's not about finding a better girl but the right one for you.
It's not her fault for not liking you. Matters of the heart can't be helped. What Forbiddensinner has said is right. The reason that she treats you in that manner is course she doesnt know how to face you after your confession.
Move on and somewhere in your future life, ou would definitely find the right girl of your life.
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After reading , i came to a conclusion . She doesnt like u at all .
Probably u guys were good friends , but u took a step further where she would prefered to maintain. As good friends, she tried to break it to u softly that it wouldnt work out, however u missed the hint .
This is the 'nice guy' thing going on , u thought by putting in effort and time , she would be touched and eventually accept u , but let me tell u this hardly happens .
From the description, it is also apparent that she has gone 'tired' of being nice to u and has given up entertaining u, which explains her non chalent actions and insensitivity whereas u to feel sore at the slightest thing.
The truth is u need to accept it n move on n learn to take a step back. U may already lost this friend , but the forest is still out there .
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i'm fortunate enough to talk to a female friend of mine after confessing to her few years back. She initiates the conversation because I'm appearing stressed up by university work.
My point is your friend may (i said may) talk to u again after a long period of cooldown (maybe a year, 2 years for my case, or even more). Now, thinking back I wonder why I like her so much back then.
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Originally posted by Uncertain:
i'm fortunate enough to talk to a female friend of mine after confessing to her few years back. She initiates the conversation because I'm appearing stressed up by university work.
My point is your friend may (i said may) talk to u again after a long period of cooldown (maybe a year, 2 years for my case, or even more). Now, thinking back I wonder why I like her so much back then.
Perhaps it's just puppy love bah or in other words, a crush. -
Originally posted by KaurexO_o:
Perhaps it's just puppy love bah or in other words, a crush.Can't be man, the confession happens in my JC days
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it is still possible to have a crush even during your jc days
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aiyah she dun like u la...she just treat u as someone she confides her problems to.....i also do tat to a few of the girls i know...i confide in them...then they often thought actually i like them.......this always happens when feelings start to grow from one party...just move on with ur life lol....u seem to be scaring her away with all ur confessions to her abt ur feelings...
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Hmm i totally understand ur feelings man. But u actually waited for 6 years?! Wrong move! As if shes the only girl for u....cmon! I noe its hard to stop yhinking about her. I have a deep deep crush on someone myself! But knowing that shes attached, I tried having dates with other girls. So yeah...Rite now, ure what? 18, 19? Theres a whole lot of life chapters ahead of you. Concentrate on your studies, put her in the past. Get up, brush off your knees and keep on marching! Try to not think about her and believe me, u'll feel much better. Do some activities. Remember!! SHES NOT THE ONLY FLOWER IN THE GARDEN! Get what i mean? Hehh...
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I won't say I understand how you feel because I never will. But I have been through the emptyness & heart-break days during the A levels too. Those feelings clouded my mind and in a way, I ended up not doing well for my A levels. I'm not saying I attributed my failure to this failed relationship and the girl. But more of my failure to overcome this emotions & prioritise on what was more important(A levels); that is, my mental strength to move on. Similarly, I don't want you to make the same mistake. Since this is the holidays, take 1 or 2 days off to take a rest to clear your mind & reset your goals. Once you are ready to press on, just go ahead & do so. Like what the rest has said, maybe she isn't the right one for you. And there are plenty of other girls out there for you to take your pick from. Especially next time in the university. So just think it through and do what is right for you. If you need to continue to rant, please go ahead and do so. Anything that makes you feel better. It is never good to keep things bottled up after all...
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Its pretty obvious. When the heart is harden, its damn hard to soften it.
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from a gal's POV.
she is not interested in u and she doesnt want u to waste ur time.
isn't it good that she did this to u, at least u can move on n seen it thru?
seriously, i think u shd move on, get to noe more other gals?
just let her fade away in ur life..
u will de-blind urself soon..
jia you!!
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Originally posted by absol:
what if, one day, after six years of work that you gave in for a girl, you then found out she has been going out with another guy. and she tells you that she "totally wasnt paying attention to details". worse still, after 2 times of asking if she wanted to go to the movies, she replies that she has been wanting to ask why you wouldnt want to watch movie with other people.
but both of us were like, real good friends in the past. and shes like the only person who can even relate to me. and i really have no idea if she is lying about anything. her favourite moves are to feign ignorance and act dumb....2 years ago, i confessed to her to which she said she wouldnt like to start a r/s then, maybe in a few years time. and i guess i was dumb enough to take the gamble to wait another 2 years. when it was obviously a rejection. and after that, our friendship somehow started to break down, something which is obviously against my wishes. but being in different schools...and she sees the other guy everyday...i guess i put myself at my own disadvantage already since long ago.
today shes like indifferent towards me....i feel like a forgotten friend, one whose existence is of a triviality. there was an outing quite recently...and...i was the only "close friend" not invited by her. and when i jokingly asks why. she says "aiya. randomly invite 1 mah". to me, yeah, right. this kind of stuff isnt the first time it happened. sometimes i think there must be a reason why...but i dont know...
how it ended up like this. i have no idea why. but since yesterday night...after knowing that she went out with some other guy...i havent really slept. and even her tv seems more important than me....yesterday as we talked....towards the end when i really couldnt stand it anymore, i told her sth like "anyway since you're watching tv, dont need to bother about me..you can keep watching your tv", to which she replied, "i go watch tv le hor, good night!". so much so for at least being a good friend of mine.
i think im just mumbling rubbish to you all here, i apologize for that. i just need a platform for me to vent my frustration....there are really too many things that happened. im really confused and...dont know what to do. cry out loud? but im already numb to this feeling long ago....because i expected this day to come. but i didnt expect to simply break down just like that...
when you find somebody who really seems perfect for you but you just suddenly have to let go....as a guy i think really i suck and im a complete failure. zzz.
common tests, prelims and a lvls are coming soon. i tell myself i need to concentrate to study well. but what good is there to always do well in tests, lead a high flying life, only to void of a simple thing called companionship.
if only it was so easy to let go. this sucks.
I understand your pain. ...Why does love have to hurt?...... Why can't one's love be reciprocated? .......Why after all these years? .......Why? The perennial questions..unanswered and unanswerable...unacceptable...
one start with a dream, hoping it will become a reality, but all the time, the warning signs were there that it is only an illusion of love, for one cannot accept the truth, and as such, continue to live in that fantasy....
Until one day, that fantasy cracked like a glass, shattering one's illusions, driving one onto the knees, tears falling easily, finally realizing how foolish one had been and the wasted years...
The pain never goes away...it stays forever...lingering and haunting one...for being a fool in love...and vow to never love again...
Walk away, hide that pain deep down inside and move on with your life. You have been a fool enough in the past, but you can no longer be a fool anymore for your future. Do what must be done in the real world, and when in lonely times, nurse that break-hearted wound with a cup of coffee or a drink & a song till you fall asleep, on the 'what if'......
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to all that have offered me your opinions...
you guys have really given me new insights...especially the post by forbiddensinner. and xtreyier, your 2nd paragraph completely describes my mind, how i feel....i understood long ago that confessions will break apart a relationship...but...i guess the statement "love blinds" holds true...even with all those hard facts thrown at me, i simply chose to be oblivious to the reality all the time. i guess perhaps im the sole reason that caused the degradation of a beautiful friendship that could have lasted me a lifetime. but would i be contented with that?
i think being a stubborn person myself...somehow...i got the idea that if i never expressed my own feelings to her, i would regret a lifetime. its some kind of a uncontrollable restless feeling....wonder if anyone of you also had this before too. and then...it all became 1 big snowball downhill.
and sometimes i think im simply plain crazy. irrational thoughts take over me, and tell me that losing a friend as a cost for a try in a confession is worth it....all i ever thought to myself was, if i never try, i would regret. in some sense that was a really selfish move, because i totally neglected the other party's feelings. but i really didnt know what else to do. those feelings cooped up inside me really made me feel...crap. and in the same sense, it was also a deadly move, my actions to cause the inevitable loss of a close friend. now that i think of all these...of all the troubles ive brought her. was i even worth to be her friend in the first place? damn, she could have lived life so much happier without me...and either way i sort of had a lose-lose situation on my hands...
still...ive quite decided to get a grip on my life. im already way behind on my study schedule...and i really want to do well in my exams, esp my A lvls. i'll promise that i'll do my best to move on....and fast. jc time really literally flies. although i guess...its really going to be one tough part of my life i probably will never forget.
and i also think...i should just avoid her for the time being...a long period. maybe a year? or a few years? sounds easy dosent it. if only it would be so. somehow i want to apologize to her, but i guess its all too late anyway. its going to be long before she'll really trust me again i guess. but i really miss those times when we'll simply talk so happily together.maybe one day after she coolsdown...those days might come back...wish me luck:)
last but not least..this amount of encouragment was really unexpected...haha. you guys really cheered me up and made my day. through this incident, i can say ive learnt quite a bit...and become stonger as a person too.
i guess what dosen't kills you really does make you stronger.
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What if.......my son has survived. He will roughly be the age which TS is.
Do I regret his death or should I rejoice about not having this problem?
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
What if.......my son has survived. He will roughly be the age which TS is.
Do I regret his death or should I rejoice about not having this problem?
its okay ! i can be ur son . ^ ^
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Originally posted by yiha093:
its okay ! i can be ur son . ^ ^
Your father rich, handsome, single & alive or not?I conspiracy with you.
We buy him huge huge amount of insurance stating both of us as benificiary.
You everyday buy him lots of durian or high fat cheese dessert to filial piety him. Buy durians eat as fruits better.
I cook lots of high cholestrol food, deep fry all the meat in pork lard & peanut oil, brew him lots of heaty tasty soups and stew the pork till its tender and the fats melted into the sauce.
Then hor.....you every night serve your papa a big mug of tongkat ali infused drink or at least Benedict Dom wine.
And if he wants to eat vegetable....I make sure I dont wash off the pesticide and it will taste bitter no matter how I cook it. So he will eventually dont want to eat any more vegetables.
Then hor, we occasionally play peek a boo with him and give him lots of surprises.......